


118: Firefighter Buckley

by bluehalestorm



Series: Firefighter Evan Buckley [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 146,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluehalestorm/pseuds/bluehalestorm
Summary: The members of the 118 are more than just team members, they're a family. Family can trust each. They know about their Captain's past, Hen's life, Chimney's start, and Eddie's mistakes. They never really noticed how quiet their most bubbly team member is about his life until it all comes knocking at their door. And now they're left wondering, who is Evan Buckley?
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Abby Clark, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Ali Martin, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Grace Ryder/Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Firefighter Evan Buckley [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905337
Comments: 204
Kudos: 827





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First thing, this is my first work so I'm extremely nervous how it goes. I just find it strange how three seasons in and we still know nothing about one of the most beloved character's past. So, I wanted to kinda write a story giving Buck a history. I plan to stay mostly canon starting from season one, of course there will be eventual divergence with my HUMONGOUS love for Buddie.
> 
> I put in the tags that there will be additional tags in the notes, which I will use as warnings for specific chapters as they pertain to versus putting them with the tags that I feel are relevant throughout the entire story. So, for chapter one, there will be hints of past child abuse as well as a minor death including the death of a newborn.
> 
> This being my first time writing it's not where I would like it, but hopefully as I continue this story my writing techniques will improve. So, I hope you enjoy and please let me know anything I can do to improve.

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

///////

_"Marco!" The twenty-year old brunette calls out with a laugh as she splashes about the pool with her eyes closed._

_"Polo!" the much younger boy calls before proceeding to descend under the surface of the water, moving through it with a surprising speed for a newly eight-year-old. He pops back above the surface, grinning as his older sister slowly moves to where he previously was, swiping her arms at air. He chuckles quietly as he moves swiftly away from her._

_"Marco!" she calls once more, but his attention is now on a small object twinkling in the water as it floats towards the edge of the pool._

_"Your ring," he says as he moves to grab it._

_"That's not your line, big guy," Maddie chuckles as she furrows her eyebrows yet keeping her eyes closed._

_"Almost. . ." The ring is floating away inside the pipe of the pool and the boy doesn't hesitate as he plunges his hand inside to enclose his fist around the small item. "Got it!"_

_He tries to pull back, but his arm remains firm inside the pipe. He tries again but to no avail. "Stuck. Maddie, I'm stuck!"_

_Maddie opens her eyes, face full of concern as she rushes over to her younger brother. "Oh my gosh, Buck! I'll be right back. Do not panic and try not to move!"_

_She quickly hops out of the pool, not bothering to dry off as she races inside the house. "Mom!"_

_So Buck waits outside by himself, his arm stuck in a pool pipe, until an even smaller boy comes waddling outside. He plops down on the edge, dipping his small bare feet in the water as he leans forward to get a better look at Buck's stuck arm._

_"Maddie said you got your arm stuck in the pool," he says as he points at the appendage. "Now why would you do something like that Bucky?"_

_"Somedays," Buck sighs in exasperation, "I wish I could go back to the days when you couldn't talk, Ty."_

_Ty sticks out his tongue in response as older men come parading through the back door and onto the deck._

_"T.K.," the head firefighter says as he leads his men towards the pool. "I'm gonna need you to stand by your mother."_

_The little boy hops up, scurrying back towards the house where Maddie and their mother wait with worry._

_"Now son," the man kneels, the words CAPT STRAND on his chest indicating him as the one in charge, as the rest move around the two to assess the situation. "Wanna explain to me why you're stuck in a pool pipe?"_

_"Maddie's ring," the boy responds sheepishly. "I didn't want her to lose her ring."_

_"Well then, let's get you out of this pipe so we can return that ring."_

_Buck was stuck in that pipe for more than an hour before the crew finally got him free. Captain Strand shakes his head as he lifts Buck out of the pool, wrapping him in a towel before carrying him over to his family._

_"I believe someone has something for you," Captain Strand says to Maddie as he leans Buck more towards her._

_"I saved your ring," Buck says cheekily as he holds out his fist, uncurling his now blue fingers slowly, and drops the object into Maddie's palm._

_"Ah, Buck," Maddie sighs, closing her fingers gently around the ring while using her other hand to whack him lightly on the side of his head. "You could've been seriously hurt!"_

_"These are the kind of risks we take in this line of duty, ma'am." Buck takes the hat off Captain Strand's head and places it on his own. "Meet you at the hospital, Mads."_

_"Don't be ridiculous, I'm riding with you."_

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"My son, he hit his head on the diving board and he's not breathing."_

///////

Hen is the first to push past the glass doors while Chimney holds it open for Bobby and Buck to follow behind. All eyes are on the mother kneeling over her son, pushing against his chest as she cries in pain.

"Okay, Buck start chest compressions, Hen start bagging him."

"Gotcha Captain," Hen replies as Bobby kneels next to the woman, coaxing her to the side so the professionals can get to work. Once she's out of the way, Buck, Chimney, and Hen waste no time.

"Starting compressions," Buck says as he begins pushing against the young man's chest. He counts to twenty, leaning back with a _Go!_. They wait a beat.

"No rhythm," Chimney calls. He runs the machine again, and Buck waits, anxiously hoping to see his eyes open.

"Come on, kid, c'mon."

One more time and Hen is steadying the kid's head as he coughs up water. Smiles reach the faces of the firefighters as the mother brings her hands up to her mouth in relief. She rushes over, kneeling over her son as Hen and Chimney reassure him with words of comfort.

///////

 **FireHOSE  
** Almost THERE! ;) :D

 **GRoovY HEELS297  
** Better hurry Mr Hose! I'm on FIRE.

///////

The red vehicle speeds past the much smaller ones, its loud horn a warning for the cars to move out of the way as it flies down the highway. The driver, one guilty Evan Buckley, slows the truck to a halt at a red light, next to a silver convertible. He moves to the passenger side after putting the truck in park, leaning out the window to talk to the brunette driver.

"Groovy heels297?" Buck asks with a big smile on his face, relishing in the way her eyes roam the firetruck in surprise.

"This is cheating."

"No, no, no," Buck says in a smug tone. "You said if I got to you in five minutes you would be _all mine_."

He cocks his head at her with a smirk as she nods thoroughly impressed. She props her arm on the door, leaning closer. "This why they call you firehose?"

Buck shakes his head with a cocky smirk. "Nope."

She learned the reason behind his name alright. Moments later, she's collapsing against his chest in bliss, both breathing heavily. She leans back, smiling as her eyes roam his face, landing on the pink spots decorating his left eyebrow.

"Someone punch you in the face?"

He smiles knowingly, rubbing his thumb across the area. "Nah, it's a . . . it's a birthmark."

"I dig it," she says as she moves off his lap.

"Hey, can I uh. . . can I get your actual number?" There's something behind his eyes, something she doesn't notice, desperation and hope.

She lets out a little chuckle and Buck can already see the word on her lips. "You're cute and . . . you're very good at whatever it is we just did." Buck smirks appreciatively, though his shoulders sag at the 'but' he hears coming. "Let's not ruin everything by actually getting to know each other?"

She leans forward, pressing another kiss to his lips which he accepts hungrily, and then she's climbing out of the truck and heading back to her own car. He shakes off emotions threatening to arise and hops out the truck himself, tucking his shirt back into his pants and redoing the buttons.

"We're living in a golden age."

///////

_"Buckley!"_

_The one in question looks up, seeing the Captain looking down at him from the balcony. He quickly takes the stairs up, following Captain Nash to his office._

_"Have a seat."_

_"I'm okay standing."_

_"Take a seat, Buckley."_

_Buck reluctantly sits in the chair, eyes focused on the wooden desk, the stack of papers, anywhere but the captain's face._

_"First thing, professionalism." Captain Nash sighs as he sits down in his chair across from the newest recruit. "I cannot have you out on the field flirting with every girl you come across."_

_"Yes sir."_

_"Your sole focus needs to be on the victim."_

_"Yes sir."_

_"It could bring a lot of trouble not only to you but to this whole station. That clear?"_

_"Yes sir."_

_"Look at me." Buck's eyes raise to meet the captain's. "That clear?"_

_"Yes sir."_

_The captain nods, standing to move around the desk so he's right by Buck's legs as he casually leans against the wood. "Second thing, your openness and trust in complete strangers."_

_"I know, Captain, no more flirting."_

_"That's not what I'm talking about," Captain Nash says, causing Buck to look at him in confusion. "Buckley, we're a team. We don't hate you. People have their habits. I'm just asking you refrain from doing it while on the clock." Buck nods his head slowly, still not completely understanding. "You're so guarded here around your team, the people you work with, but out there. . . it's like the wall comes tumbling down and you're all smiles and such a warm and optimistic person."_

_He moves forward placing a hand on Buck's shoulder. "I want to trust you and for you to trust us. No one here is out to hurt you. Open up, let loose. Think of this place, these people, as your second family."_

_Buck is quiet for a few seconds, but the feeling of tenseness under Captain Nash's hand disappears. "Buck. My friends. . . they call me Buck."_

_"Well, Buck, my friends usually call me Cap. Those close enough call me Bobby. And just think, open up to me, and you can call me pops."_

_"Pops?"_

_"Like your second father—"_

_"Dad. A father is just a birth giver. A dad is the one who loves and takes care of you."_

_"Well, in time, I hope you can consider me to be like your second dad."_

///////

Buck hops out the truck, shutting the door with a slam as he makes his way towards the stairs. Two men already give him the silent knowing look, and he rubs his thumb across his birthmark—a nervous tick he's always had—as he ascends to the balcony.

Hen and Chim, along with a few others, sit at the table preparing to eat. They all pointedly make no move to greet Buck or even glance his way. All except Bobby of course. His patronizing gaze says it all.

He does his best to stay cool, striding over to Hen and dipping his finger in the bowl of spaghetti she holds, dropping the few noodles into his mouth and savoring the taste of pasta and delicious homemade sauce.

"Hey!" Hen protests, yanking the bowl away from him and giving him a look of disgust. "Wash your hands. We don't know where they've been."

"What if we had a call?" Bobby says as he marches over with three more plates full of food, the look on his face giving away his irritation.

"I was in the neighborhood," Buck says as he grabs the plate balancing in the crook of Bobby's elbow. "I was just, uh, getting it washed."

"They charge you extra for the full detail?" Chim says, giving Buck an accusatory look.

"Yeah," Buck says with a smile full of asparagus. The smile drops as Bobby turns to address him.

"Listen, I like ya. You're a good firefighter. I know we got this thing; you call me pops and I give you a hard time for being a dumbass kid, we've been to a Springsteen concert together, but this is not a family. S'not a clubhouse. So, I'm writing you up."

"C'mon, Bobby. See the fire, put out the fire. The rest is blah, blah—"

"No. The system and the rules are not arbitrary. First infraction. Two more, you're out." Bobby takes the plate of asparagus from Buck. "Wash your hands."

Buck sighs, taking the asparagus he holds and popping it into his mouth as he heads to the bathrooms in defeat, pretending not to notice the table suddenly erupting in whispers the moment he's out of hearing range.

///////

_Buck watches from the window as Maddie's car backs out the driveway and takes off into the night. Leaving him. Alone. With Daniel._

_He slowly lets the blind fall, obscuring his view of the world, and the world's view of him. He turns around so his back is to the front door. Just as quick as he turned around, he's staring at the ground, pain blossoming on his left cheek._

_"What. Did. I. Tell. You."_

_Daniel's voice is eerily calm. Drops of liquid on the ground suggests he has his usual bottle of beer in his hand, having sloshed about when he struck out at his son._

_"WHAT! DID! I! TELL! YOU!"_

_Buck flinches at the loudness of his voice. "Don't misbehave."_

_"And what did you do?"_

_His sister a favor. His mom a favor. And the ultimate winner: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG! (Besides earning his hand a lovely home in a brace for just a few days.)_

_This time he's looking at the rugged carpeted steps leading to the upper level of their home to his left instead of the nasty wooden floor to his right, pain blossoming on his right cheek._

_"AND WHAT DID YOU DO!?"_

_"I misbehaved." He refused to cry. Not in front of Daniel. He wouldn't allow him that victory. He just let the tears fall. Usually it was enough to get the drunken man to back off._

_"I bet it's because of that wretched brat. Maybe I should ask him what happened next time he comes around—"_

_"You leave Tyler alone!" Buck is normally calm. He's normally quiet, takes the beating and curls up in a ball in his room and goes to sleep. Takes a bit of foundation he swiped from his sister before she left and applies it to his face and goes about his day pretending nothing happened._

_It's been like that for a while when he's staying with his dad. Those visits he gets with his mother keep him sane, because Maddie marks those dates on her calendar and goes out of her way to pick him up from the house and fly with him out to New York where their mom welcomes them with open arms, accompanied by her new lover and the man Buck considers to be his dad, Owen Strand, as well as Buck's baby brother, Tyler._

_Buck has always been protective of Tyler. He refused to let Ty ever come across the evils in the world. Buck would be damned if he ever let Daniel put his hands on his younger brother._

_"You can't lay a hand on him."_

_Daniel downs the rest of his bottle, snarling at Buck menacingly. "I don't need to. I already have a punching bag."_

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"Yeah hi, I live in an apartment on 876 McCain. I'm in my bathroom and I think I hear a baby crying. In the wall."_

_"How is the baby on the wall?"_

_"No, no, no. Not **on** the wall, **IN** the wall. There's a baby inside my wall. I think someone flushed a baby down the toilet."_

///////

"Where're we headed?" Chim asks as the quartet make their way to the complex entrance.

"Fourth floor," Bobby responds.

"Woo!" Buck exclaims, a bubbly smile on his face. "I'll race you."

"Race yourself, Rambo," Bobby calls from ahead of him. "I'm fifty years old, I'm taking the elevator."

"Who's Rambo?"

*****

"I don't hear anything," Bobby says as he comes back from the bathroom, looking at the young man seated on the couch.

"Look, I'm telling you, I heard a baby crying. Someone flushed a baby down the toilet." He sighs, glancing over at Hen who stands by his counter inspecting his red water pipe bong. She glances at him questioningly. "Oh, I'm not high . . . Okay, I'm pretty high, but it's a sativa. Y'know, it makes you happy. It doesn't make you hallucinate."

"Could've been a cat, right?" Chim says from the corner, arms crossed in irritation at the thought of time being wasted. He throws is arms up in exasperation. "Sometimes rats get stuck in the walls. . ."

Bobby's shushing him before he can finish, and the four listens as the whine of a baby echoes around the room, originating from (surprise!) the bathroom. "Did you hear that?"

Just like that all four's postures change from relaxed to attention, all heading inside the bathroom. Bobby puts his ear against the wall, knocking gently before turning and asking for a stethoscope, which Chimney passes over. He continues to knock against the wall, using the stethoscope to hear what might inevitably be on the other side. A few more knocks and the baby whines again, and that's when Bobby is turning back to the three with more urgency than before.

"Give me a pen- I mean a sharpie." Chimney tosses it to him. He catches it with both hands, knocking along the wall again before drawing a black 'X' on it.

"Hey!" the young man protests, which goes ignored.

"Alright, we need to open up this wall."

Chimney shakes his head, turning to the guy accusingly. "No, no. We're being punked. It's a tape recorder somewhere, right Spicule?"

Before the man can answer, though, Hen is stepping forward with a hum of disagreement. "Maybe he's right. Maybe a mother gives birth on the toilet and flushes it."

"Ok, first of all, that's awful," Chimney says, now turned back towards his comrades. "Second, d'you not know how a toilet pipe works? It's this piece of servant thyme pipe that takes the waste from the toilet—"

"If this is a premature baby, its bones could bend and compress like a sponge. Ok, we need to go in there." Bobby's tone holds authority and urgency. All Buck can think about is one poor baby trapped in a toilet pipe. Abandoned. Forgotten. He's gripping the ax in his hands a little tighter, situating it to where the blade faces the wall. His anger is building. Anger at those in life who choose to hurt. Those who decide to just end lives. Those who feel animosity towards their children yet refuse to let others take care and love them the way they won't. His nostrils flare.

"Stand back," he rears his arms back, Chimney ducking and Hen backing up as he moves towards the wall with scary speed. The 'X' is no longer an x, but his father's ugly, evil face. "I got this."

And then Chimney is shouting, and the young man is shouting, and Hen is shouting, and Bobby is shouting as he jumps in Buck's path, stopping him from planting the ax into the 'X'.

"Did you even stop to consider that you might hit a baby?" And no, Buck did not stop to think that he might hit a baby. Kill a baby. End of life. Be no better than the low life's he swore he'd never be. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Go get the saw."

Buck stumbles over his words and keeps his head down as he exits the room.

///////

_"You're not from around here, are ya?"_

_Buck looks up at the sound of the voice. The girl is a brunette. No tan, a dead give away that she's not from the area either. "No, I'm not from around here. I can tell you aren't either."_

_Not just from the lack of tan that would've been evident on a native of South America, but also from her voice **drowning** in the accent of a native of Britain._

_The girl smirks. "Obviously." She glances around, bites her lip (something that does not go unnoticed by Buck), and gestures to the door. "Should we go somewhere quieter?"_

_*****_

_Quieter it was until they ruined the silence with the nasty sounds of human connection. Again and again and again, until three years later they're both still living in South America, though someone's gained quite the pounds and it was not Buck._

_Buck has spent the time working at the bar the two met at, earning enough money for the two to be content. Selina earned money helping at a local market, though lately she's been at home ever since growing a big baby bump._

_"Here's what I'm thinking—Just hear me out!"_

_"I don't think so. I've come to learn your ideas can be so ridiculous."_

_"Benny."_

_"I'm not naming our daughter after an old clock!" She whacks him in the head with a laugh. He smiles warmly._

_"Of course, not. We're naming her Aimée . . . and the next daughter will be named Madeline—Maddie for short, or Mads—and our sons would be Tyler—if you really wanna get creative it can be Tyler Kennedy—and—"_

_"Absolutely not, we're not having our bloodline be named after your siblings just so you all can have a bunch of mini me's running about. Bunch of Tyler's and Madeline's and Evan's—"_

_"Don't be ridiculous. My mini me's would have their first name resemble Buck, so they'll probably be named Buchanan."_

_"Buchanan Buckley?"_

_"Yes ma'am."_

_"Estúpido."_

_*****_

_The nurses didn't bother him. They let him have his time for as long as he could. So, in the silent room, he stood cradling the small child in his arms, a few tears dripping off his face and onto his daughters cold one. He quickly wiped the tears away, bringing the baby over to the bed._

_He climbed in beside Selina, throwing his right arm across her shoulders, bringing Aimée up between them and intertwining his fingers with Selina's limp ones. And he stays just like that. Cuddled next to Selina, Aimée peacefully in between them, his lips against Selina's cold temple. And he cried, sobbed, until the nurses eventually came to comfort him and ease him away._

_He waited for the funeral. Both are right in the heart of the community. Those who've grown to become his familia pat him on the shoulder solemnly, and he nods, giving each of them that knowing sad look. By then, he's got a tattoo on his arm. Two simple bands around his forearm. No names, no faces, no intricate art. He doesn't need the world to understand the tattoos because he knows, and that's all that matters._

_By the next day, he's back in California. He's in the city of Angels. And he's looking for a job. A job to save lives. In a way to make up for the ones he couldn't._

///////

The moment Bobby puts down the saw and begins tearing away at the wall, Buck wastes no time moving forward, clawing at the wall, desperate to get the baby out _safely_.

"Guys that pipe services about a quarter of the toilets above us, that's gonna be messy," Hen comments from the doorway as Buck, Bobby, and Chimney continue tearing down the wall. "Oh, shoot. Which means, even with the water off, if somebody flushes a toilet above us, it could drown the baby."

Buck glances back at that, quick enough to catch Hen dropping her bag and rushing out of the room. He turns back to the wall, helping Bobby finish tearing at it. Soon he's helping keep the pipe stable as Bobby cuts at one end. Once he steps back, Chimney comes in, beginning to cut below Buck when suddenly the two are sprayed with an oncoming flow of water from above. The two cringe, and Chimney cuts faster, eventually getting through the pipe.

The three lift it out of the wall and gently hold it up while Bobby shines a light inside of it, getting a good look at the head of the baby. They gently set it down, Chimney cutting at the pipe once again to make it easier for the baby to slide out. They lift the pipe once more, carrying it out of the bathroom and setting it on the table.

Chimney's at the head of the pipe, hands prepared to gently slide the baby out.

"You gotta push from below," Buck instructs, and Bobby wastes no time getting at the other end of the pipe.

"Get the defibrillator," Bobby instructs and Chim looks at the captain as if he's grown a second head.

"Are you nuts?"

"Just the lube, Buck," but the youngest is already setting the machine on the table. Bobby opens it up, grabbing the lube as Buck puts the machine back on the floor. Bobby squeezes it all among both ends of the pipe, rubbing it in before beginning to push once more.

"Hen, get the ambulance ready." Footsteps echo signaling Hen's exit.

Soon the head is peaking out and the baby is sliding out, eyes closed, unmoving. Lifeless. Just as his daughter had. And he's anxiously waiting for Chim and Bobby to hurry up.

When she's out, Buck's taking the towel off his shoulder and gently wiping the nastiness off her face.

"Ok, she's not breathing, starting CPR." Bobby takes the tips of his fingers and gently but firmly begins chest compressions. Nothing.

"Maybe her airway's blocked," Chim offers, and Buck jumps up immediately.

"I'll get the suction cup."

He grabs it quickly, pinching her mouth open and working to get whatever gunk is stuck in her throat out. "Bobby, it's not working."

Bobby gets back in, digging with his pinky and sighing in relief as he gets the blockage out. Soon, the little girl is back to crying, rightfully so after almost dying. Bobby quickly wraps her up, rushing out the door followed by Chim and Buck.

"Nobody held the elevator?" Bobby says as the three make it to the stairwell.

"I guess not," Chim moves around Bobby, frantically pushing at the button as if it'll make the elevator move even faster.

"Give her to me," Bobby immediately reels away from Buck, and Buck can reasonably understand why, but all he sees is Aimée, being kept away just out of his reach. "No, come on. I'm twice as fast, come on!"

And Bobby sees it, the pain. The same pain he feels. It's welling in Buck's eyes, trembling in his voice, and he hands the child over. He pats Buck on the back as he begins descending the stairs, holding the small girl close, breathing words of comfort the whole way down.

"I got you, we're gonna be okay."

"You're gonna be fine."

"We're almost there."

"I got you, Aimée."

Buck comes rushing out the complex and down the steps to the waiting ambulance. "I got her! I got her! Get ready!" He hops into the back of the ambulance. "Let's go, let's go!"

One door closes before an officer comes rushing back over, opening the door. Following behind her is a man carrying a young woman bridal style and all Buck can see is red.

"Is that the mother? No. Screw her!" And it's harsh because he shouldn't be refusing to offer medical aid but all he can think about is his—the baby in his arms, almost losing her life by being flushed down the toilet by an unloving mother. "Look what she did!"

"She's a child!" the officer argues back.

"Hey!" Bobby is rushing over instantly. "We gotta go!"

The officer guffaws, looking from the ambulance to Bobby. "He's refusing to take her!"

Buck stutters but Bobby doesn't have the time to hear it. He grabs the young woman, handing her to Chim who climbs in followed by Bobby. Chim situates the girl on the stretcher, Bobby plopping down beside Buck. Buck leans over Bobby, glaring at the woman at the doors.

"If this baby dies, it's on you."

The door closes and Buck turns his gaze back to the girl in his arms.

"Buck, give me the baby."

"No."

"Buck—"

"No!"

"Bu—"

"I have her Bobby!" Buck shouts, and Bobby reels back from the wild look in Buck's eyes. And then he's tearing his gaze away, breathing deeply and looking back down at the baby. "I got you, it's okay."

*****

Once the doors are opening, Buck is hopping out smiling brightly down at the little girl. "Told you we'd make it, didn't I?"

One eye cracks open, and Buck will forever go on believing that she is smiling right back at him. He places her gently on the stretcher, cooing at her as the doctors stabilize her and begin rolling her inside. He begins following and Bobby grabs his arm, pulling him back.

"Where're you going?"

"That baby's alive because of us. Don't we have some kind of obligation—"

"I'll give 'em a call. See if they tell us if she's okay. There's nothing more we can do. We did our jobs very well today, just be proud of that." Tears are building up in his eyes as he watches the stretcher disappear from his view. Buck turns away from the glass doors, blinking the tears away and swallowing the sob bubbling in his throat. "You and me. We're gonna have a talk later. Maybe you'll tell me who Aim—"

"Don't!" Buck cuts Bobby off quick, a hand out to stop him from finishing the word. He turns to Bobby, tears gone but eyes still weary. "Please don't."

"Okay, when the time's right, talk to me. Deal?"

Buck nods and a small but sure smile works its way onto his face. A black and white cruiser screeches to a halt right in front of the two, and the officer from earlier angrily hops out the driver's seat, storming towards Buck.

"Hey! You do not get to choose who lives and who dies."

"Really? Cause I was under the impression that kinda was my job."

"That mother was no less of a child than her baby! You can get someone killed."

"Well, maybe, but . . ." Buck glances back at the hospital and then to the officer smugly. "Not today."

"Yeah, you keep making jokes. I promise you the next time you screw up, it'll be your last."

She angrily storms back to the cruiser, driving off as he turns back to a disappointed looking Bobby.

"What?"

"Get in the truck."

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"Help. . . Can't breathe. . ."_

_"I can't understand you. Are you saying you can't breathe?"_

_"777 Detroit Avenue. . . it's choking me. . ."_

_"I have the fire department on the way. Who is choking you? Do you know him?"_

_"My snake. . ."_

///////

"LA Fire!" Bobby calls as he kicks in the door, leading the crew through the seemingly empty home. "Alright guys, check all these rooms."

"Anybody here?" Chim calls, stepping into one.

"LA Fire!" Bobby calls once more as the four step into a large room containing a tree, which a long boa constrictor hisses at them from.

"Oh my god. Can't do snakes, they scare the crap outta me," Chim says, eyes glued fearfully to the snake hissing at the intruders. "A scene from Conan the Barbarian with a giant snake, it traumatized me for life. I can't."

"What's Conan?" Buck asks.

"Conan the Barbarian, Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1982. Jesus."

"Far as I'm concerned the world began the day I was born."

"Guys, in here!" Bobby calls. "Back here guys, now."

They rush to the back of the room where they find a ginger haired lady, a large boa coiled tightly around her neck.

"We gotta help her get some air guys."

"Bobby, it's no use. That thing is like ten feet long and constriction strength is like fifty pounds per square inch."

"Oh my god, I'm gonna start calling you Snakepedia, stop it."

"All I'm saying is that you stand a chance at tearing at a cement wall with your bare hands."

"Why don't I just punch it in its face?"

"You can't punch it in the face, Buck, it's a snake. It's not some guy at an El Torito happy hour."

"Look, I have dilaudid. We can inject the snake; it'll pass right out."

"How much time is that gonna take?"

"Minutes. Minutes we don't have. I think we're gonna have to put it down."

"Kill it!"

"Kill it? No! No. Um no."

"Kill it, just kill it."

"It's a snake. It's doing what nature intended for it to do. Nobody told this fool to bring a snake into her house."

"Yeah? Well, I'll make a donation to PETA for you. . . Crap, it's getting real tight."

"Alright, stand back. We don't have time for this."

"Buck!"

"Wait! No!"

And it's the same scenario from earlier, only this time Bobby isn't there to jump in the way, and the blade cuts the head of the snake clean. Blood splatters a bit. Chimney gags from his spot in the doorway. The woman sighs in relief at the immediate release of tension on her neck.

"Wow," Hen shakes her head disappointingly. "Why is that the only first option for you white boy macho tough guys?"

"Guys, I'm totally gonna take credit for this with Tatianna. Gonna get me laid for a week, thank you."

The woman sighs sadly, murmuring the name of her beheaded snake.

"Yeah, well it was him or you and, uh, when faced with a situation like that, I always choose to save the more attractive one."

The woman smiles up at Buck knowingly. "Is that right?"

"Okay, hard pass. I'm gonna skip the part where the two. . . idiots flirt."

"You can expect a visit from animal control," Bobby sighs, rolling his eyes at Buck's antics.

Bobby leaves the room and the woman faces Buck once more, flashing him her pearly whites.

*****

"Hey Buck." Buck startles, leaning back from locking lips to find Bobby seething. "Huh. The snake hoarder? Really?"

"I'm a collector, I'm not a hoarder."

"I think you should probably leave."

"Um, did you follow me here?" Buck asks, quickly redoing his pants.

"The truck has a GPS beacon, moron."

"Call me later if you're free. I'll be at home," She purses her lips at Bobby. "Alone."

The moment she walks off, Bobby turns his glare on Buck. "You're fired."

"Wha. . . ? Wait, that's not fair, you said I got three strikes."

"Doesn't matter. You made this choice yourself and you rubbed it in my face. The same exact infraction two days after I wrote you up. It's not 1950 anymore, Buck, we work with women side by side. When you swing your dick around, you disrespect them."

"Wait, Bobby, I- I think I may be a sex addict." Buck shrugs sheepishly. "Self-diagnosed."

Bobby storms back over to Buck angrier than before. "You think this is a joke?"

"No."

"This a joke to you!?"

Buck stumbles back and for a second, it's not Bobby storming towards him, it's Daniel. "N- no."

"How much does your kit weigh when you're fully geared up? How much?"

"I- I don't know. Sixty pounds. Give or take."

"Right, sixty pounds. So, you choose this life, you find a way to leave everything behind you except that sixty pounds. I don't care if you got problems with your wife, with money, with alcohol, with keeping it in your pants, all that weighs you down, it slows you down and if we lose a couple seconds, people die. So, you wanna disrespect yourself, that's fine with me. You wanna disrespect these women that you chase around, that's on them. But you are done disrespecting our firehouse and this fire department."

Bobby begins to stalk away yet again, and fear spikes deep in Buck, driving him forward. "No, Bobby! Bobby! I need this job. Look, I love this job. Don't do this to me. I don't have anything else." No wife. No children. No family to turn to.

"I'm sorry, kid."

*****

Buck solemnly packs up his things. He ignores the whispers, focusing on stuffing his items in his bag and trying to figure out who to call. His sister was a no-go. His mom eventually left Owen, which was disappointing seeing as Buck really likes Owen, and he hasn't heard from her since. Owen, he'll try there. Last time he'd talked to his dad, TK was following in his footsteps, joining the same house as Owen.

Buck looks up at movement in the corner of his eye, and sees Hen sitting down with a sigh.

"I guess you heard?"

"Yeah. . . For what it's worth, everyone thinks it sucks."

"It's my own fault."

"Yeah. . . everyone thinks that, too." Buck shakes his head but continues to pull stuff out of his—the locker. "I'll be honest, when Bobby first brought you on board, I told him 'you should just get a Dalmatian instead'. But I'm legit sorry to see you go. You got some skills, just not a lot of discipline."

Hen notices Buck tense slightly at the words but doesn't say anything as he looks to her. "Look, I um. . . I don't suppose you could talk to him for me?"

The bell rings, and Chimney comes running past the two. Bobby sticks his head in. "Hen, let's roll."

Buck doesn't say anything, doesn't glance at Bobby. He stares hard at the locker, barely acknowledging the comforting hand Hen places on his shoulder before leaving. It isn't until the trucks are pulling out that he watches them go, catching Bobby's gaze in the side mirror.

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"Help me, please! They're outside. They're trying to break in. My mom's not home from work yet. I'm by myself! I don't know what to do!"_

_"Okay, okay. Stay calm. What's your name?"_

_"Lily."_

_"Lily, how old are you?"_

_"I'm nine."_

_"Okay, Lily, my name is Abby. I'm gonna try to help you. What's your address?"_

_"I don't know, we just moved here!"_

_"Do you know what street you live on?"_

_"Um. . . Lambert."_

_"Okay, Lambert."_

_"Please hurry!"_

_"Okay, Lily. Lily?"_

///////

Buck sighs, shutting the locker and slowly making his way out of the fire house for the last time when his phone rings.

"Hello?"

_"Buck!"_

"Hen?"

_"You don't have anywhere to be, right?"_

"Is this some cruel, twisted joke?"

_"Good, I have a friend, she needs you to be somewhere in less than five minutes."_

*****

The cruiser rolls to a stop next to the firetruck Buck borrowed (with permission this time!). The window rolls down and low and behold, it's the officer from earlier.

"She sent you, huh?"

"I was available."

"Alright," the officer takes off her shades, her brown eyes meeting Buck's blue ones. "No heroics. Don't go chasing waterfalls."

"I don't know what that means."

"Nobody thought you would."

Buck sighs before leisurely driving about the streets, honking the horn loudly to be heard. It takes a few minutes, but eventually the officer—who he's learned is Sergeant Athena Grant—is in his ear.

_"That's it. You just passed her, cowboy."_

Buck looks out the window, spotting a pink bicycle leaning against a brown house. He cuts the siren off. "Oh yeah, I see the pink bike."

In his rearview mirror, he spots a blue Subaru pulling into the driveway. Quickly, he hops out, rushing to her as she climbs out of the driver seat.

"Hey! Emma! Emma Coughlin?"

"Yeah." She says in confusion as Buck moves to guide her away from the house.

"You can't go in there right now."

"What? Um, is there a fire?"

"No, there's no fire just get behind the truck."

He helps her climb into the truck, moving quickly around to the other side and hopping in himself. He brings his phone back up to his ear where he hears shouting on the line, then another voice.

 _"Fireman Buckley,"_ there was a slight pang in his heart, knowing he isn't a firefighter anymore. _"What's going on there?"_

"I don't know. . ." his sentence falls short when the front door opens and a screaming Lily is forced into the sunlight, followed by an older man. "Ah crap."

The man throws her to the ground and takes off, and Emma wastes no time hurrying out of the truck and over to her daughter, Buck following her. He quickly jumps in front of the two, watching as the suspect takes off on a motorcycle.

Athena comes rushing out the house, yelling into her radio, and Buck rushes back over to the truck, climbing to the top as quick as he can. The cruiser at the end of street blocks the suspect's bike, forcing him to turn back around and drive back towards the mother and daughter, whom Athena quickly rushes out of the way. The man points his gun, attention so focused on Athena that he doesn't see it coming when a strong spray of water sends him flying across the lawn of the house.

Buck smiles triumphantly as the man remains on the grass groaning from the "pain". Athena looks up in surprise at Buck, nodding respectively before heading over to apprehend the fallen man.

_"Fireman Buckley, what's happening there?"_

Buck hastily pulls his phone out of his pocket and brings it back to his ear.

_"I heard a gunshot. Is Lily ok? Where is she?"_

"The little girl? She's good, she's back with her mom and _you_ should be here."

_"Oh my god. . . I feel like I am. Wow, um. . . okay. Well, I can't thank you enough. I. . . I'm so grateful. You saved that little girl and—"_

"No, you did. You kept her in the game long enough for us to find her. You're the real hero here."

_"Well, I appreciate you saying that. Thank you."_

///////

Bobby and Hen are waiting expectantly when Buck pulls the truck back into the firehouse. He opens the door and Bobby is there, a serious look on his face and arms crossed over his chest. Buck sighs as he hops out, closing the door behind him.

"I know what this looks like. . ."

"Looks like you took the engine out in your street clothes."

"I didn't really have time to change."

"Athena Grant called me. Wanted to tell me what an asset you are. Told her she was half right."

"You're giving me another chance?"

"You've used all your chances, and so have I. Because somehow I have failed to communicate with you how lucky we are to do what we do."

"You're wrong, Bobby." Buck begins, following Bobby this time as he begins to walk away. "I absolutely do get what a privilege it is to serve here and you know what? You were right to fire me. I was a punk. I still am one. But I'm a punk who understands what he lost. Just needed you to know that."

"I hope you mean that. . . Go get dressed."

Bobby walks off, and Buck can't help the shit eating grin that slowly wins the battle on his face as he turns to Hen, eyebrows comically raising high.

"I think I'm not fired."

"Your shift's not over yet."

Buck chuckles, leaning against the truck and relishing in the feeling of it not being his last day before wasting not a second longer and hurrying to the locker room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This chapter took a whole day to write and I was rushing to get it published before 12 because after 12 my wifi shuts off and I was wayyyyy too excited to wait to post it.
> 
> My additional tags for this chapter; attempted suicide, drug abuse, minor death/suicide, trauma, dubious consent/rape, underage sex. That should cover it, if you feel like I left an important warning out, just let me know and I'll quickly fix that.
> 
> This chapter is a bit more emotional than I expected it to be, so I hope you enjoy it.

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"He won't_ _wake up!"_

_"Okay, calm down. May I ask whom I'm speaking to?"_

_"E-Evan. Evan Buckley."_

_"Okay, Evan, how old are you?"_

_"Fifteen."_

_"Who won't wake up, Evan?"_

_"Ty. . . Tyler Kennedy Strand. He's thirteen. He's my brother. He wouldn't talk to me. . ."_

_"Okay, Evan, I'm gonna need you to check for a pulse—"_

_"There's no pulse. He's not breathing. I don't know why he did it. He didn't tell me anything."_

_"Tell you what, Evan? What did Tyler do?"_

_"He took practically every pill he could find," the younger boy sniffles. "He's surrounded by every pill bottle in this house. I don't know what to do."_

_"Don't worry, Evan, help is on the way."_

_"I don't know why he did it. . . Why would he do it?"_

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"Oh my god. Some guy just got thrown off the roller coaster. He's just lying on the ground, he's not moving. Send an ambulance."_

///////

"Buck, we came in at the wrong angle. I'm gonna have you climb up there, harness him in, and hang tight while we move the truck. You think you can handle that?"

"Oh yeah," Buck says to Bobby, glancing back at the frame. "Daredevil hero stuff is what I signed up for, Bobby."

"Good."

Buck quickly climbs the ladder, holding on tightly as it moves higher towards the cart where a guy clings desperately, the ride having been stuck at the top of the loop. Behind him, the safely secured folks are frantic, some crying in fear.

"Everybody try to stay calm! We'll get you down, I promise, alright? I need you to relax. I need you to breathe. I need you to keep as still as possible." Buck climbs off the ladder and onto the frame of the roller coaster, ascending to the loop. "If you move less, you stay safe. We'll get everyone off this ride safe."

The guy hanging from the safety bar groans in agony and Buck glances up, quickening his pace.

"Hey, what's your name, man?"

"Devin."

"Devin? Alright, Devin, well hang on brother."

"Where's Chad?" The boy moves slightly, trying to get a better sight of the kid on the ground. "What happened to Chad?"

Buck presses his mouth in a grim line, reaching for his radio. "Hey, Bobby, he's asking about his friend."

Buck continues climbing the loop, making it to the top where the guy is still hanging on. "Hang in there, guys, I'm coming!"

"What happened to Chad?" Devin cries back. Buck glances back to the ground where Hen and Chim move to situate Chad on a gurney. He knows it's an act because nobody survives a fall like that. "He's dead, isn't he?"

"Hey, Devin," Buck's heart aches at the pain the guy will no doubt go through later when he realizes eventually that his friend truly is gone. "Look at me. Chad. . ." He can't lie to this guy. He doesn't want to break the news to him either while he's hanging more than fifty feet above the ground. "He's getting help. See?" Devin cranes his neck, seeing Buck's team members quickly move Chad out of view. "He's gonna be fine. Now, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, alright?"

Buck cringes at his words, _he's gonna be fine_. He grunts as he maneuvers himself on the side of the loop, moving closer to Devin's reach. "Is everyone okay?"

"No, we're not okay!" one of the girls call, and yeah, that's a reasonable response. But hey, dumb questions are just automatic in situations like these, for some odd reason. _Are you okay? Do you need help? Is something wrong?_ No shit sherlock. "Why is the firetruck going away?"

"It's just getting into a better position, that's all." Buck swings one leg inside the framework, so he can sit within the loop and more efficiently reach for Devin's hand. "Devin, how we doing?"

"It's gonna be everywhere," Devin replies and for a second, Buck has no clue what he's going on about until he looks in the same direction as Devin and he sees the growing crowd of people, all pointing their phones at the scene unfolding. Devin lets out a cry. "It's gonna be all over the place."

"Hey, forget about them. Don't look down, look up at me." Buck lowers the harness into Devin's reach. "Pay attention to this strap here. All you gotta do is reach up your arm and slide it through the loop."

"I can't!" Devin cries, eyes still scanning the people below.

"Yes, you can—"

"I can't!"

"You can do it. C'mon."

"Can you tell them to stop recording, please?" Devin scrunches his eyes shut, voice coming out in pants due to his sobbing. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Hey, Devin, I need you to concentrate." Buck maneuvers himself again, trying to angle the strap closer. "Slide your arm. . . through the loop. . . ah. . . and then we can deal with everything else."

Devin's sobs have calmed down. He breathes heavily, eyes still scrunched together, but Buck takes that as a good sign of him calming down. "Alright," Buck stretches his arm, extending his hand to Devin. "Reach up your hand. C'mon, it's like three inches. You can do this, I got you."

Devin opens his eyes. He's gone quiet now save for a few whimpers here and there. His eyes are red and tears are brimming but he doesn't blink them away. And just something about the way he looks up at Buck doesn't sit well with him. He makes no move to grab Buck's hand, not even a slight twitch of his finger.

"Devin. . . Devin, I need you to trust me. Give me your hand. I will not let you go."

Devin's completely silent, body swaying ominously. He looks up at Buck's hand, staring at it for a few seconds, before moving his eyes up to Buck's face. His breathing is calm, eyes sad yet calculated. "I can't."

He says it so calmly that the roles are reversed now. Buck is the scared one, scared and uncertain. He watches in agony as Devin moves his eyes to something off in the dark horizon, or maybe nothing at all, and relaxes his body, letting go of the safety bar.

The other riders scream in horror and Buck feels that painful spike people get in their hearts after having just witnessed a jump scare. The crowd of onlookers' gasp, scream, cry out. And Devin. . . Devin plummets, the sound of his body hitting the rails below echoing around the area.

Buck's mouth opens and closes, his throat tight and eyes stinging as he looks at Devin's lifeless body staring up at him soullessly. His limbs are at an awkward angle and Buck has already looked away, but the image is still clear in his mind.

_Why would he do it?_

///////

"Yikes," the dark-skinned man says as his lover comes from the bedroom pulling a dark blue tee over his toned chest.

"What is it?" he asks, grabbing his keys and moving over to the couch to wrap an arm around the darker man's chest, placing a sweet kiss on his head.

"Check it out, 'Terror at the fair: two men dead after roller coaster nightmare'." The brunette man furrows his eyebrows, grabbing the remote and turning up the volume on the tv.

"Terror and heroism at the state fair," the news anchor reports, a picture of roller coaster ride stuck at the top of a loop to the left of his face. "Passengers trapped on a carnival ride gone haywire. Our own Marcy Henderson got a few words with Evan 'Buck' Buckley, the hero firefighter who risked his life climbing the broken ride."

"Bucky. . ." the feed switches and there he is on his television screen looking so heartbroken.

"I reached out to pull him out the car. . ." he's not looking at the camera nor at Marcy. The angle of his head suggests that he's looking at the ground, but anyone with eyes can see that the ground is not what Buck sees. "He wouldn't give me his hand. I don't know what happened. . ." Buck finally looks up into the camera and his breath hitches at the feeling of Buck looking straight at him. "I- I don't know why he would do that."

"Seems like you know the guy," the darker man says on the couch, looking between his lover and the man on the screen.

"He's my brother," he replies, clearing his throat and pulling away, tearing his eyes away from the screen. "He doesn't. . . handle death well. Especially suicide."

His mouth stretches into a grim line.

_Why? Why, Ty?_

He clears his throat again, reaching for the door and looking back with a small smile. "Thanks for letting me stay over. Talk to you later?"

///////

The moment his eyes move, the setting changes. He's no longer looking at Devin from above but rather a plate of fresh food. Chimney quickly strides back over to the island before Buck can fully register the action.

"I'm not hungry," Buck says and Chim turns around with an eyebrow raised.

"It's America, Buckaroo. Eating has nothing to do with being hungry."

"I was right there, y'know?" Bobby and Chim glance at Buck with pity, but the younger man isn't looking at them. He isn't looking at anything in particular. "All he had to do was reach up and grab my hand."

"People do funny things at times like that," Chim responds as he sits down across from Buck with his own plate of food. "Sometimes, they just freeze up."

Buck looks down, into the bottomless mug. There lies Devin's body. Motionless. Soulless. Gone. "I've never lost anyone before. . . Does it get any easier?"

"No." Buck looks up at Bobby in surprise. It certainly wasn't the response he was expecting.

"Look, people die and that's part of the gig, right?" Chimney says. Buck's sad eyes move back to the paramedic. "See, your problem is that you're looking at every job like it's a long-term relationship. They're one-night stands, man. In that moment, they mean everything to you, but once the morning comes," Chimney snaps his fingers, eyebrows raising in a way of showing relaxing and resetting, "it's on to the next one."

"Hey!" Buck glances back, spotting a cheerful Hen followed by Athena. He rolls his eyes. He still isn't quite buddy-buddy with the officer. "You guys don't mind; I brought some company to family dinner. Athena's going through some um. . . some _stuff_ at home. So, she could use some TLC."

"Well," Bobby says with a smile. "We don't usually allow cops to secret firehouse meetings but uh, we'll make an exception."

Athena hums happily as Bobby gives her a side hug. Buck remains quiet, turning his head as she rounds the table and spots the only one in the room to not give her a warm welcome.

"Oh, well," she comes to the seat directly in front of Buck and he squares his shoulders, preparing for some bickering showdown like the last time the two spoke. "You know, I ain't sold on you yet, but. . . I think keeping me from getting shot deserves a second chance."

She extends her hand, and Buck looks up at her quietly. He's not mad, just defensive, which surprises the rest of his team members who've never seen him act so cold. But Buck, he's not mean and he has enough common sense to know when he's in the wrong as well. And the two of them, Athena and him, are both just working towards the same goal; keeping people safe.

Plus, there's something about Athena. The way she had talked to him before, there was only one other person like that who did. Condescending, but caring. Like a mother. Not his mother, but a motherlike figure.

So, he looks down at her hand and back up at her face which holds no animosity. And a smile works its way onto his face as he moves forward and grasps her hand. She smiles back just as warmly as they shake.

"There won't be a third, though."

Hen chuckles and Buck looks confused for a second. But the four older companions all have smiles on their faces so he takes it as a joke, softly smiling himself.

"Buck here is having a little trouble moving on from a call that didn't go his way," Bobby says in explanation for Buck's quietness. Athena sighs, looking at Buck not in pity but understandingly.

She sits down and Buck respectively scoots in his chair. "You know why they make us wear the uniforms, right? Cops, firefighters, paramedics?"

"Ah, sex appeal." Athena chuckles at Chim's response before turning back to Buck.

"So people can easily identify us."

Athena nods. "Both true, but it's also for our own good. Because when we take the uniform off at the end of the day, it symbolizes letting go of all the sad, crazy, inhumane things we've seen that day."

"I see his face every time I close my eyes," Buck leans forward, casting his eyes to all of them. "That happen to you guys?"

No one answers for a moment, but then Athena is nodding her head solemnly. "It'll pass."

And then the siren is going off and everyone's groaning as they stand. Bobby's eyes linger on Buck, who hasn't moved yet.

"You coming, kid?"

///////

_"One question." TK looks from the tv to Buck, who's snuggled up on the hospital bed with him. "Why? Why, Ty?"_

_TK opens his mouth and closes it, cheeks heating up. "I- I don't know if you'd want to hear—"_

_"No, not why did you do it."_

_TK furrows his eyebrows in both hurt and confusion. "You don't want to know why I tried to kill myself?"_

_"Because of hurt feelings deep down over something that you **are** gonna tell me, but in your own time." Buck looks deep into TK's eyes, making sure the younger boy understands that he cares. "What I want to know is why you chose to dive into a sea of pills instead of coming to me. Ty, I know I'm not with you all the time, but you're my brother through-through, none of that halfway nonsense. I love you and I will always be there for you when you need me."_

_Buck's eyes are brimming with tears. "It pains me, deep down, to realize you'd rather leave me here, **brother-less** , than tell me if something's wrongs. It hurts, because I love you, trust you, cherish you with everything I am and it's still not enough."_

_TK's crying too, reaching forward to pull Buck closer and bury his face in the crook of his neck. "I. . . I think. . . I **am** gay. And something happened. . . I just. . ."_

_"I don't care, Ty. People are bad. They're not gonna change and they certainly aren't gonna cry if you're gone," Buck hugs TK tighter, resting his chin on his shoulder. " **I'm** gonna cry, Ty. **I'm** gonna care if you're gone. They say anything that hurts you, you come to me. You do not get to leave me, Ty. That's not fair to those who truly care. They're the ones there for you at the end of the day. When all is bad, you come back to them. They can't help you if you just decide to one day swerve off the path on your way back."_

_"Please, don't ever do that to me, Ty."_

///////

The captain looks up immediately at the sound of a knock on his door. He nods at the younger man standing in the doorway, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

"Come in."

He enters the office, sitting in the chair and absentmindedly bounces his leg while focusing on everything but the captain.

"Wanna tell me what's going on? It seems like something's on your mind."

"Nah, nothing's on my mind."

"Not even that?"

He looks to the television and there he is yet again, the headline _County Fair Spider-Man: Hero Firefighter Saves the Day_ displayed over his interview.

_". . . Fireman, Evan 'Buck' Buckley, who people are calling the 'County Fair Spider-Man' for his daring rescue."_

_"Well, I- I was just doing my job. I'm happy we were able to help the people we helped and, um, I'm really sorry for those we couldn't save."_

_"Well, we're getting a lot of twitter questions from our audience, most just wanna know if you're single."_

TK scoffs, rolling his eyes in irritation. "Seriously? The guy just witnessed death and she wants to question his romantic life? He doesn't need sex, he needs comfort."

"How long has it been?" TK turns back to his dad, giving him a knowing look.

"You should talk to him. I think he'll be happy to hear from you after so long." TK swallows thickly, opening his mouth and closing it again. "Deep down he still cares, you know that. I think it's best for the both of you if you just talk to him."

The bell rings and both men stand. Before TK can leave, though, Owen's placing a hand on his shoulder. "Call him."

///////

_"No."_

_"What?" TK was expecting a "Hello!", a "What's Up?", maybe the usual "Ty, my guy!". "No" did not fit the category._

_"No. I'm done, Ty. I want you to talk to me. Not talk to me and then go behind my back and continue to abuse medication. You don't get to do that. You risk your life every time you do."_

_"I don't know—"_

_"Save it, Ty. You don't think I call to check up on you? I talk to your friends. I talk to dad. I talk to Alex. They tell me the truth. About the hospitalizations you refuse to tell me about. The failed attempts at rehab. You promised me! You broke your promise. It ends now."_

_"I'm sorry, Buck. I don't know what to do. I just. . . I can't stop. I can't."_

_"Choose."_

_"Choose? Between you and the pills?"_

_"Not just between the pills and I, between the pills and Alex, between the pills and dad, between the pills and being a firefighter. I'm asking you to choose between life and death, because every time you take those pills, you're one step closer than you were before. And you're not gonna take me with you. You don't get to play with my heart knowing I'll be a mess that one day I get the call and hear that they didn't get to you in time. My feelings are not a game."_

_"Buck. . ."_

_"Tyler. . . when you can come to me completely clean, you can call me back. When I can talk to you and know that you won't run right back to the pills, you can call me back. You don't need to call me if pills are evidently doing my job better than me."_

_"Buck. . ."_

_The phone hangs up. And TK is left standing with the phone in his hand, staring at the bottle of pills on his counter._

_Choose._

///////

Buck cuts off the hose the moment he feels his phone buzzing, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he fishes it out of his pocket. He doesn't really have much people in his life who call him, and those who do are normally working at this hour anyways.

"Yeah?" He says, as he removes his helmet, soot covering his face.

_"Um, hi! It- It's Abby Clark. We talked the other day after the home invasion. I was the 9-1-1 operator."_

A genuine smile spreads on Buck's face. "Oh yeah, yeah, you're a badass. How'd you get this number?"

_"Oh, um, it was in the report, um, but anyway, I just. . . I don't know. I wanted to check on you, I've been seeing you all over the news, and. . . seemed like maybe you were having a hard time."_

Buck looks out at the mountains, smile dropping off his face as he nods though she can't see it. "Yeah, um. . . how'd you know?"

_"Y'know, in my job, you kinda learn how to read people just based on the sound of their voice."_

Buck's chest fills with such relief to not be called a hero for one second. To not have gratitude thrown at him and for people to be celebrating his name. A hero saves the day. A hero saves people, saves everyone. Two men died. Buck is no hero. There are people out there in pain because he couldn't save everyone.

"Thank you for noticing. Everywhere I go now, people are patting me on the back and I just wanna scream back at them, y'know? People died. I had to watch them die."

_"I know. I had to listen to people die before. The silence after they stop talking is . . . like no other kind of quiet."_

"The guy who fell. . . all he had to do was grab my hand and. . . I couldn't get him to."

_"You know, believe it or not, there's some people who actually take those moments as opportunities to make that decision. I mean, there's some people who just. . . don't wanna be saved."_

"Um. . . thank you, for calling. Maybe I can call you again sometime?"

_"Yeah. That'd be great. You have my number now. Or you can just. . . dial 9-1-1."_

She laughs and Buck chuckles, a big genuine smile on his face now; something that hasn't been out for a few days. "Alright, uh, thanks and. . . let's talk soon."

_"Okay, bye!"_

///////

"My brother was a man of great potential. That's the hardest part for me. Thank you all for coming."

Everyone in the church stands, and so does Buck. He shuffles into the aisle and curses his luck for being so tall as the second he glances back at the podium he locks eyes with Devin's sister. She moves forward instantly, heading straight for the firefighter.

"Hi, um," Buck clears his throat again, nervousness and guilt filling him. "I'm Buck—uh, Evan. Look, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. It's only my fourth month on the job. I never lost anyone before this."

"What really happened up there?"

"It was like he just. . . He gave up."

"Are you saying it's my brother's fault he's dead?"

"No, that- that's not what I mean."

She swallows thickly, tears brimming once again in her eyes, and the guilt grows even more in Buck. "My brother was very happy to be alive. He was loved and he knew it. He wanted to live. And you failed him."

She turns and storms off, leaving Buck standing there with an even bigger hole in his heart than he had before.

///////

"Alright, try to catch some z's before the next call! That last one was a bit rough!"

"Amen!" TK responds, fishing his phone out of his pocket and hitting the answer button before bringing it to his ear. "Hello?"

_". . . . . . . . . Ty?"_

TK falters, causing the man behind him to bump into him.

"Woah, TK, you good, man?"

"Um, yeah, um. . . I gotta take this." TK heads off to the locker rooms as everyone else heads to the sleeping area. "Buck?"

 _"Um, hi. . ."_ He pauses a moment and then takes a deep breath. _"How has. . . things been?"_

"Well, I'm still with the 224. . . Alex and I are still together, we're thinking of spicing things up a bit."

Buck chuckles a little. _"Yeah?"_

"Yeah. . . um, I. . . I've been clean. Going on five years now."

_"I. . . I—"_

"I've seen the news. You don't have to say it if it hurts you."

Buck sighs, voice trembling slightly as if he's on the verge of crying. _"I failed him. I failed at doing the one thing I swore to do when I took this job."_

"Buck, these things happen. Yeah, when you take the job, you take an oath. You take an oath to protect and save those that you can. You hear me? Save those that you can. You have to be able to accept the fact that you won't be able to save everyone."

_"All he had to do was grab my hand, Ty. I was **right there**. I was able to save him and I didn't."_

"Just like all I had to do was not swallow the pills."

_"Ty—"_

"No, Buck, listen. You didn't fail. Yes, you were right there. You know that and he knew it. The fact remains that he didn't grab your hand. You know as well as I do that the truth is not that you couldn't save him, it's that he didn't want to be saved."

_"But he was so happy—"_

"His family say that?"

_"Yes."_

"Isn't that the same thing you thought about me?"

_"Ty—"_

"Buck, isn't that the same thing you thought about me?"

_". . . yes."_

"Then you know the truth. You cannot continue to beat yourself up about it."

_"Have you lost someone before?"_

"Yes, I have. More than I'd like."

_"How did you. . . cope?"_

"I took your advice, Buck. I talked. I have Alex to comfort me, my dad who knows what I go through, and my family here at the firehouse. You just need someone there, Buck, to help you get through it."

_"What if you don't have anybody?"_

"You have me. And Owen, who's just as much your dad as he is mine. Your firehouse, which is more than just a team, it's family. Reach out to those in your past, Buck. Think about those we met on those lovely trips. Knowing you, you'd probably still have their number. And find someone to connect with, Buck. Because, according to the news, you're still single."

_"Well, I. . . I met, um, not met, but I. . . I've met this 9-1-1 operator, through the phone. . . she seems to just get me, y'know? I- I don't know."_

"Connect, Buck. That's the one thing that helped me through it. Having someone to go home to. Having someone to hold and love me and take all the pain away at the end of the day. Someone that makes me feel safe."

_"When did you become the wise one?"_

TK can hear Buck's smile through the phone, and it feels as though an invisible weight is lifted off his shoulders. "I've always been the wise one."

_"Uh huh, sure. And I'm the richest man in the world."_

"Oh, and Buck?"

_"Yeah?"_

"You saved people before. Don't let it stop you from still doing that."

_"Okay."_

"Okay, well, I gotta go. Talk to you later?"

_"Anytime, bud. Call me anytime."_

TK heads to the sleeping area, and it warms Owen's heart to see his son sleeping peacefully with the biggest smile he's seen in a while.

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"He fell. . . Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening. He just, he fell!"_

_"Ok. . . take a breath. Who fell?"_

_"The. . . the pervy guy."_

_"I'm sorry, did you say pervy guy?"_

_"The. . . window washer. The thing snapped, his wires or whatever, and he's hanging from his foot."_

_"Tell me where you're calling from, ma'am."_

///////

The engine slows to a stop in front of the building and they hop out to find a man dangling upside down more than about fifty feet above the ground.

"Alright, Buck, that rig could go any second. I'm gonna go up to the roof and secure the cable, alright? You go up the ladder, let's go!"

Buck looks up at the man hanging. It's Devin craning his neck to meet Buck's gaze. He sees the calmness in him, his mouth moving to form two words.

_I can't._

He flinches, turning to follow the captain. "Bobby! Bobby. I'll go up to the roof, y'know, I can get there quicker, make sure the. . ." He looks back. For a second, he thinks he sees the body falling but it's just the man's shadow. "The cable is secure."

Bobby looks at him uncertainly but nods. "Alright, good idea."

Bobby mounts the truck, climbing the ladder while Buck grabs a bag of equipment and makes his way inside the building.

_Don't let it stop you from still doing that._

*****

Buck stares hard at his open locker. What did he open it for again? He shakes his head, sighing sadly. Did they save the man? Yes. Does Buck feel any better? No.

He turns his head at the sound of footsteps, catching Bobby enter, and he stands quickly.

"Don't. Alright, I- I know I let you down." He looks at Bobby. A serious face looks right back at him. Bobby says nothing back. Buck sighs, leaning back against the lockers. "A year ago, I put in to be a Navy SEAL."

"I didn't know you were in the Navy."

"I wasn't," he moves to sit back down. "I don't have to be in the Navy to try out for the SEALs. Didn't have any trouble with the physical part. Following orders wasn't my best quality but, hey, I was working on it."

Bobby nods, moving to sit down next to Buck. "Why didn't you stay?"

"They wanted machines. People who could, uh, flip a switch in their head and turn off every natural human instinctive emotion in their body and I cannot do that. I- I don't wanna do that." Buck looks back at Bobby, his face showing more emotion than it did earlier. "I love this job because I get to be the tough guy but I also get to help people."

Bobby nods in understanding.

"You remember the first person you lost?"

Bobby frowns, not looking at Buck now, sighing sadly. "Catherine Vans. Thirty-two years old, blonde hair, green eyes. She was wearing a blue University of Michigan t-shirt, white shorts, and she had on black converse high tops. She had painted smiley faces on the toes. Last thing she said to me was 'please', and then she was gone." He looks to Buck, sad and knowing and Buck looks at him, face contorted with grief and sadness and surprise about every feeling that can be mixed in with feeling bad overall. "Hit by a truck driver, couldn't extract her in time. I'm glad you can't flip that switch. I don't want you to. It's not gonna make you a better firefighter. And anybody that tells you that losing someone doesn't affect them is lying."

He holds out a card, and Buck looks at it but doesn't bother to try to comprehend the words on it. "Here's the name and number of a trauma counselor. We have people in the department who've helped us deal with this kind of stuff." Buck takes the card solemnly. "You don't have to talk to me but you do have to talk to someone."

///////

_"Evan." Buck jumps up quickly, eyeing Daniel in the doorway suspiciously. "I'm going on a business trip. I'll be back in a few days. I have a friend here to watch you. Don't make a fool of me."_

_Daniel doesn't wait for a response._

_*****_

_"Hello."_

_Buck looks up, finding a blonde woman standing in the doorway. He hasn't left his room. He refuses to trust any of Daniel's friends. Rightfully so, just from looking at the bottle of beer in her hand. And from the way she stumbles into the room, Buck can tell that it definitely isn't the first._

_"Um, hi?"_

_"Are you Eh-Van?"_

_"In the flesh."_

_"Goody!" she bounces over, plopping onto his bed without permission, taking the book he was reading out of his hand and setting it aside. "I'm Carli."_

_"Well, Carli, I hate to be rude, but this is my room and I like my privacy."_

_"Really? Don't worry, I'll get the door." She hops back up, stumbling over to the door and closing it before turning back around._

_"That's not what I—"_

_"You wanna know a secret?" Buck doesn't answer, looking at her in annoyance. "Your dad's not on a business trip."_

_Buck scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Figures."_

_"I'm a therapist."_

_Buck looks her up and down, giving her a deadpan look. "Really?"_

_"Yep. Your dad hired me to help you."_

_"One, I don't need help. Two, my father doesn't have the money to pay for a therapist."_

_"But you do need help. He says that—" Carli clears her throat, doing a horrible impression of Daniel. "—he has this disgusting obsession with Sam. Sam this. Sam that. Thinking I can't see what's going on—" She blinks, smiling brightly and jumping onto his bed, facing him and leaning forward. "I have a solution to the problem."_

_"I still don't see what the problem is."_

_"Pining after a devout Christian homophobic guy isn't a problem?" Buck doesn't say anything at first. He looks down and then out his window and back at Carli._

_"Sam's homophobic?"_

_"Of course he is dummy, haven't you met his parents?"_

_"No. . ."_

_"Well, I can help cure you of the pain."_

_"What pain?"_

_"The pain you feel deep down knowing all your crushes will hate you forever if you so much as breathe about your feelings."_

_Buck swallows thickly, looking back out the window. "Carli, you should leave. My room, at least."_

_"Come on, Eh-van. Let me help you. Let me make it better. I know a secret that will help make it go away."_

_Buck looks at her from out the corner of his eye as she smiles right by his cheek, tongue darting out and meeting his jawline. He recoils instantly, scooting back from her pouting figure._

_"What are you, like forty? That's wrong, that's so, so wrong."_

_"Age is just a number. Pretend I'm younger and I'll pretend you're older. Besides, number one rule in society is don't get caught." She moves closer, situating herself so she's straddling him, playing with the hem of his shirt. "This is a way to make you feel better. When you're sad or thinking about a guy or just desperately need comfort. Forget talking about your feelings. Just feel."_

_She takes his hands, guiding them around to her back. "Here." She moves them to her thighs. "Here." She moves them to cup her face. "And when you kiss, you close your eyes and it's not her, but him."_

_And she moves closer and he's not stopping her. She kisses him slowly, eyes open while his are closed. Because she doesn't need to feel, only him. And behind his lids, it's not Carli but Sam. Buck moves his hands down to the small of his back, to the tops of his thighs, and he can't stop the pleasure arising._

_Carli pulls back, and Buck's so lost that he actually follows, and then stops himself. "Open your eyes, Evan. But look only at my collar bone, my neck, my eyes. Focus on those."_

_Buck opens his eyes he looks at her collar bone, then her neck, finally focusing on her eyes._

_"Evan, focus only on my eyes. My name is not Carli. My name is Sam." Evan nods slowly. "Tell me, Evan, what color are my eyes?"_

_"Grey?"_

_"No, Evan. What color are my eyes?"_

_Buck watches intently, the eyes swirling before settling. "Hazel. A ring of yellow around the irises."_

_"Do you want me, Evan?"_

_"Yeah, Sam. . ." Buck swallows thickly. "I want you. So bad."_

_Sam leans forward, lips right by Buck's ear. "One more rule, Evan. Never say my name. Not out loud."_

_"Okay," Sam._

_Sam moves to Buck's lips and they're kissing again. By the next morning, Buck isn't a virgin anymore. And if anyone were to ask him who his first was, he'd remember it to be Sam._

///////

"You seem uncomfortable."

Buck looks up from twiddling his thumbs, shrugging. "Yeah, I am a little."

"Well, that's not unusual," Dr. Wells says, nodding understandingly though Buck doubts that she truly understands how he feels right now. "You've been through a trauma. That's why you're here, to deal with those feelings."

"Yeah, I'm, uh. . . I'm not really into feelings. I mean, I have feel in me I'm just not. . . y'know, talking about them."

"I treat a lot of first responders, people who run toward danger, but. . . maybe there's something you're running from as well." Buck sighs deeply. He doesn't like being analyzed, for people to dig down deep. "What is it about discussing your feelings that scares you?"

"I'm not scared." She looks at him with a disbelieving eyebrow raise and he grinds his teeth slightly from being under scrutiny. "Look, I'm only here cause my captain insisted."

"Yes, I understand you froze up at a scene the other day."

"Yeah, okay, I. . . I hesitated."

"Why?" Buck doesn't speak, he looks off to the side. "You lost somebody, that's hard."

"Yeah, but we lose people. 'Least that's what everyone keeps telling me."

"Was this your first time."

 _No._ "I mean, I've had calls where it was. . . too late, but, uh, I've only been doing this six months." He leans forward, renewed with the feeling deep down of guilt and confusion over Devin's death. "I just can't shake the feeling that this one didn't need to go down the way that it did."

"So, do you think there was something you could've done differently?"

Could he have done something differently?

If he'd reached a little farther, would Devin reach for his hand?

If he'd grabbed his hand, would Devin hold on?

Would it have ended differently?

"Do you blame him?"

And Buck hates himself for it, but deep down some small part of him is angry at Devin. Because, yeah, he does blame him. All the kid had to do was grab his hand. And he didn't even try. "He wouldn't take my hand."

"Maybe he couldn't." And Buck doesn't like this. His eyes hurt. His chest aches. He wants to cry, but he doesn't want to. That doesn't stop the tears from rolling. "Maybe he was too paralyzed with fear or confused or who knows. . ." She stands, moving forward and sitting on the ottoman, right by Buck's legs. "Look, I can't help you get inside his head, Mr. Buckley. We're here to talk about what's inside yours."

His head is dark. Clouded. Confused. Manipulated. Tainted. He doesn't want to think. He doesn't want to talk. He wants to ease the pain. The pain in his chest. The pain in his head. He's hurting. Therapy was supposed to make him feel better, it was supposed to help him cope. He sat, he talked, and now he's crying and hurting.

_Forget talking about your feelings. Just feel._

He looks up at her eyes. "It's um. . ." Had that yellow ring around her iris always been there? "It's actually just Buck."

H-She nods. "Okay."

He blinks. Her eyes aren't hazel. He closes his eyes, bowing his head. "Um. . ." He looks back up, staring deep into her eyes, her hazel eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Did you friend me on Facebook?"

"That was. . . before this was scheduled." He looks at him. . . _She_ looks at him worried, a blush rising on her cheeks. "You should delete that."

He eyes Sam sadly, not even noticing just how calm he feels versus when he did before. "I thought you looked familiar."

_Forget talking about your feelings. Just feel._

*****

"Oh god!" She breathes out, looking back down at a shirtless Buck. Her face contorts into one of horror, and she's quickly hopping off of him. "I can't believe I just did that. I'm so sorry."

Buck smiles happily, feeling better than ever. "Sorry? Why? You're fantastic."

"That was beyond unprofessional. I'm your therapist."

"Yeah, and I feel better."

"You need to go. Now."

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"Yo, you better get somebody down here quick, yo. This dude is gonna jump from, like, I don't even know how high."_

_"Ok, sir, where are you calling from?"_

_"How high you think that is man? What floor?"_

_"Sir."_

_"Twentieth floor?" "Twentieth? No way. He's higher than that!"_

_"Sir?"_

_"One, two, three. . . no wait."_

_"Sir!"_

_"You start with two, right?"_

_"Sir, please stop."_

_"So, two, three, four—"_

_"Please stop counting."_

_"—five, six—"_

_"Tell me where you're calling from."_

///////

"Seriously?" Buck says as he looks up at the man standing on the edge of his balcony. "It's gotta be a jumper? Couldn't've threatened himself with a gun?"

"Like that'll be practical," Hen responds.

Bobby looks over at Buck specifically. "We're gonna have to do the maneuver."

Buck's smile falls as Hen and Chim also look over at him expectantly. "Oh, Bobby, no—"

"Yes."

Chim looks sadly at Buck before turning back to Bobby. "I'll do it."

"No, Buck's got this."

He looks down. The ground is so far. There lies Devin at the bottom. What happened to therapy fixing things? He looks back to Bobby.

"You got this."

*****

"Hey," Buck looks to Chim as he sets up the harness. "You got this, okay Buck? You got this."

Buck presses his mouth in a line but nods, takes a deep breath, and begins to harness himself.

"Fine! You wanna jump? Go ahead and jump!"

What!? Buck cranes his neck, looking from the man still on the balcony to the woman arguing with him. He waits a beat, dread creeping into him, but when the man doesn't move, he begins climbing over the balcony railing to lower himself.

"Don't you dare do that! I swear to God!"

Buck looks down again, but the man is still holding onto the balcony.

"Lennard? I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what I was thinking! I love you and only you!"

Buck pauses, waiting to hear cheers of joy as the man steps down from the balcony and he doesn't have to worry about—

"You lying bitch!"

"UGH!"

Buck bites down hard on his lip, bowing his head for second. It's not a funny situation, but man did he really want to laugh. He exhales deeply, continuing to lower himself, feeling less nervous than before and thinking; if this man really wanted to jump, wouldn't he have done it by now?

"Hey, Lennard!" That's Bobby's voice and thank heavens because Miss No Name was doing quite the horrible job of de-escalating the situation. "Listen to me, we've all been there man. I had a girlfriend cheat on me and I thought she was the one, Lennard. I saw us going the whole way. Marriage, kids, all of it. So, I went out and I bought her a ring. A nice one. I mean, we were on top of the Eiffel Tower. I got down on one knee, I popped the question. . ."

Buck looks down seeing how close he is to the man. That's all. Definitely wasn't slightly intrigued by the obviously fake story.

". . .Everybody's staring at us. She has tears in her eyes. You know what she said to me? She says to me, 'Bobby—"

The crowd gasps as Buck pushes off and swings in, knocking the man off the balcony and back into the bedroom. He raises an eyebrow as the man shoots Buck a look that could kill.

"Y'know," Buck says with a smile as he begins to undo his harness. "One of these days I'm gonna pause and see what she says to him."

///////

Buck hops out the truck, facing Bobby gratefully. "Hey, Bobby. Um, thanks for pushing me back there. I- I don't know what happened. I guess I had a moment."

Bobby nods with a knowing smile. "You bounced back and saved a man's life. You did good, kid."

"Five bucks says that guy is getting laid tonight," Chim says as he strides over, causing the two to chuckle.

"A guy ready to kill himself and you think his girlfriend is turned on?" Hen looks at Chim incredulously as she jumps out of the ambulance.

"He's punishing her for cheating. Guilt sex. Help me out here, Buck."

But Buck isn't paying attention. His eyes are glued to the woman at the entrance of the firehouse. Her last words still ring in the back of his mind.

_And you failed him._

*****

"I need to apologize to you," she starts, both of them comfortably sat at one of the tables on the balcony. "I was completely out of line at the memorial. You didn't deserve that."

"You lost your brother. I get it. I would be too if I lost mine."

She nods sadly, sighing before looking at Buck with guilt. "Seven years ago, Devin tried to kill himself. We sent him to therapy and he got better. Then, two months ago, he started isolating himself again. Wouldn't leave the house. I got scared and called his friend, Chad—"

_Where's Chad? What happened to Chad?_

"—begged him to get Devin out of the house. Chad said he'd ask Devin to go to the state fair. When Devin said yes to the fair, I took it as a sign that he was getting better." She shakes her as a way to try to push back the sob coming up. "It's not your fault he's dead. . ."

Buck inhales deeply because it's the one thing he didn't know he needed to hear so badly. From everyone, it was _these things happen_ and _it'll pass_ and _it's hard_ but they didn't understand. Because Buck knows that these things will happen. He knows that he's gonna lose some. He knows that he can't save everyone.

But Devin could've been saved. And it had been eating at him ever since that night.

". . .It's mine."

Buck reaches forward, because he shouldn't have to live with guilt of Devin's death and neither should she. "There was nothing either one of us could've done for Devin. Some people just don't want to be saved. A friend said that to me recently and, um, it helped."

///////

Buck's doing pull ups when he hears his phone buzzing again. And he's anxious because there's two people in the world right now that could call him and either one is going to leave a smile on his face.

"Hello?"

_"Hey! Buck. It's Abby Clark."_

Winner dial and a million-dollar smile. "Hey."

_"Hey! How you doing?"_

"I'm good. Can I ask you a question?"

_"Sure?"_

"How old are you?"

_"Oh my god, why?"_

"Cause you keep calling me. People don't use their phones to make calls anymore, y'know. We text, we snap, or we marco-polo, or if it's really serious, then we facetime."

_"Yeah, I guess that's true. I know, I'm sorry I just, y'know, spend so much time on the phone. . . I guess it's my most comfortable form of communication."_

"Nah, don't be sorry. I like it, it's. . . um. . . it's old-fashioned."

_"Yeah, well, um. . . I have another old-fashioned idea which is I was thinking maybe we could. . . meet up in person over some old-fashioned margaritas."_

"See, where I'm from they call that a date."

_"Yeah, they call that a date where I'm from, too. I'm asking you out on a date."_

"Um, I mean that sounds really fine, you're super smart, funny, and obviously killer at your job but I'm realizing that I have some issues when it comes to women and intimacy and if I. . . if we went out on a date, I'm pretty sure we'd have sex."

_"Uh. . . okay? You think I would just sleep with you—I'm not sure what to make of that."_

"No! Look, it's. . . um. . . it's not you, it's. . . it's not you, it's me. . ." Buck is definitely cringing _extremely_ hard on the inside because he never saw himself _ever_ using that line. "Um. . . Look, I- I have issues. For example, I just slept with my therapist—" _who I imagined to be my childhood crush_ "—in our first session. It's kinda like I'm a magnet."

 _"Oh, so you think I'm not gonna be able to control myself around you?"_ And this conversation is definitely not going the way he expected at all. _"Because right now in this conversation, I'm extremely not interested in sleeping with you. So. . ."_

Buck smiles warmly. "I won't go out with you cause I like you. Cause I know we've only talked a couple times but talking to you makes me feel really good and safe and curious about life, cause I can tell that you're special. And I don't have anyone like you in my life and I don't wanna do anything to risk losing you. For now, I think it's best if we just talk on the phone. Like in the old days."

_"I'd be into that."_

"That would be great."

_"Alright, well, then I'll talk to you soon. Goodbye, Buck."_

"Goodbye, Abby."

He hangs up the phone, smiling brightly. The moment his phone begins buzzing again he instantly hits answer, bringing it up to his ear with excitement.

"TY, MY GUY!"

_"Wow wow wow, hello to you, too, Bucky."_

"I think I just became exclusive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I found interesting is how I totally forget basically everything that happened in this episode, and I opened the chapter up with drug overdose and the episode actually ends with a drug overdose and I just found it intriguing cause I totally forgot. But anyways, there was a lot more TK in this, and in a way, I not only dived into Buck's past but also TK's.
> 
> With the infamous therapist scene, I switched from the usual stories I've seen where Buck isn't really all into it but rather it's more dubious. It's just, as I said before I forgot all about this episode, so when people we're writing about it I truly thought he went to therapy for sex addiction. Seeing that he went for trauma, I found it out of character for him to not be in it. So instead, I built upon that idea by others and included that background scene not only to explain his ways behind having sex with so many girls but also why he slept with his therapist and that is was completely consensual (though still very unprofessional).
> 
> By the end, I cannot tell you how many times listened to that last 9-1-1 call. I'm sorry, but I have friends that are just as goofy and I found it hilarious, as well as the couple's bickering. I know that whole scene was supposed to be Buck overcoming his trauma but damn that shit was hilarious so I stuck with the comedic tone. You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine.
> 
> And so there you have it until Saturday, because I pushed aside three essays for this that are due tomorrow and seeing as it took me a whole day to write this, the next chapter probably will be postponed for a day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long, but I've been writing and rewriting this chapter because I was unimpressed with the first versions, until I have this. I hope it lives up to the first two chapters and that you guys continue enjoying the story!
> 
> Mentions of drug abuse/attempted suicide is my only tag for this chapter. Again, let me know if you feel other tags need to be included I will definitely change that.
> 
> Also, the chapters might come at a slower pace, and that's mainly because apparently 9-1-1 LS is coming back next Monday (that shit hit me by surprise) and I'll just be seeing if maybe there's stuff from the episodes I can use to build upon my story so, there may be longer suspense time between chapters. Thank you again for reading my story, and I hope you enjoy chapter three.

"Okay, okay, okay, so. . ." Buck gestures wildly with both hands, a big smile on his face. "He gets down on one knee, right? He pops the question- _everyone_ is staring at them. She says to him, 'Bobby. . .'"

_"Don't leave me hanging, Bucky."_

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to. We've never gone past that point in the story." Buck smiles wickedly at his phone. "I'll come back to you if we ever develop a definite ending."

 _". . . I hate you."_ Buck barks out a laugh as TK groans on the other side of the phone. _"I hate you for telling me this knowing there'd be no end. I hate your captain for not coming up with an end. I hate your whole team for not pressuring your captain to come up with an end. I'm so mad at you. You're lucky I'm not down there or I would've beat your ass."_

"Like you could."

_"Is that a challenge?"_

"Maybe it is. Come down here and find out for yourself."

 _"Alright, tough stuff. Don't be surprised when you find me at your door early in the morning."_ Buck continues laughing, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge before heading to his bedroom and laying back happily on his bed. _"So, has the week been as hectic for you as it has for me?"_

Buck sighs, dragging a hand down his face. "Where do I even start? I learned that you were right—"

_"No surprise there."_

"Shut up." TK chuckles on his end of the phone. "You were right though. About the firehouse being more than just a team, but family. I didn't realize how much I truly cared for them until now."

_"Tell me about them."_

"There's Henrietta. We all call her Hen. She's like a sister. She has a wife, Karen, and this amazing little boy named Denny." Buck smiles warmly at the thought before sighing sadly. "And then there's my brother, Chim. We almost lost him."

_"What happened to him?"_

Buck breathes out a laugh. "Man, you are not gonna believe this one. . ."

///////

"Right here. Right here. Right here! TURN LEFT!"

"I'm trying!" Buck responds, eyebrows furrowed and the tip of his tongue stuck out in concentration. The firetruck on the screen speeds haphazardly along the streets in the game. One wrong flick of the stick and Buck purses his lips and avoids glancing at Hen like a guilty child trying to lie about doing something they shouldn't have.

"Oh, oh." Hen smirks at Buck with both eyebrows raised. "So, you're fleeing the scene? You do realize that you lose points for murdering people on the way to a fire."

Buck shrugs casually, sticking his tongue back out as he struggles with the controls. "It should be fine. It's a flesh wound. Obama-care."

Hen shakes her head disappointingly as she reaches for the controller. Buck scrunches his face at first, annoyed at Hen for blocking the screen with her arm. He moves his head to try to see and his eyes go wide as saucers as Hen latches onto the remote and begins to tug. "Hen! Please!" From his viewpoint in the kitchen, Bobby chuckles quietly at the sight of Buck struggling while Hen looks like she's barely breaking a sweat. "No, Hen!"

Hen laughs as she rips the controller out of Buck's grasp and he rolls off the cushion and onto the floor dramatically. She spots Chim trudging up the stairs and waves the controller. "Chimney! Harry! You're up."

Chim continues past Hen and Buck silently, offering no greeting in return. Buck furrows his eyebrows, cutting a glance to Hen in confusion. He sighs as he pushes off the floor, following Hen towards the kitchen.

"Hey, what's. . . what's wrong?" Hen starts, Buck and her approaching Chim as he digs through the fridge. "You okay?"

"Uh, Chim, if there's something you wanna talk about. . ." Buck follows. The two stop just before the island and on the other side Chim sighs as he closes the fridge and turns.

"I'm a good-looking guy, right?" Buck cocks an eyebrow. He definitely wasn't expecting that kind of question. "I mean, like, you can do a lot worse than me?"

"Chimney, I've done a whole lot worse than you." Hen smiles reassuringly.

"Buck!" He glances at Bobby, taking the stack of plates from his hands and moving towards the table to set it. He sets the stack of plates down and moves back over besides Hen with a smile as Chimney announces:

"I asked Tatianna to marry me."

"You serious?" Buck says, ready to congratulate Chim, but Chim is not smiling. He's bowing his head, rubbing at his neck, and Buck can tell that it didn't go well.

"Well, what happened?"

"First, she said she cheated on a fiancé that I didn't even know about and that now we need to break up. Then she said she didn't know. I. . ."

Buck slides on an oven mitt, picking up the pan Bobby just pulled out of the oven. "Did you offer her the option of an open marriage? It's super modern—"

"Buck." He glances at Hen, who cuts him a glance that tells him to drop it. So he backs off, heading over to the table to set the food down. "Chim, I'm sorry. It may not have been the response you hoped for, but. . . it's not no."

"It might as well be."

"Probably for the best." Buck cuts a glance at Bobby who continues stirring at the pot of sauce as if he hadn't just said what he said. He purses his lips as Chim now turns his attention to Bobby and suddenly the atmosphere seems like it's gotten thicker. Hen's eyebrows raise comically and she grabs a stack of bowls and heads over by Buck, cutting looks out of the corner of her eye just as he does.

"What was that?"

Bobby looks up at Chim, realizing just how it came across at Chimney's defensive tone. "Nothing. I'm sorry. I. . . I didn't mean anything by that. You doing okay?"

"Of course you meant something by it. 'Probably for the best', there's a lot of meaning behind it. What? You don't. . . you don't like her?"

Bobby sighs, throwing glances here and there as if he's trying to avoid eye contact with Chim. "Never said I don't like her. I don't like her for you."

What? Buck can't remember one time where Bobby ever got involved with someone's life besides his sleeping habits of course, but that was effecting the work environment and a completely different scenario versus now.

"And what does that even mean?" Bobby opens his mouth and Chim shakes his head. "No, come on. Come on with it, wise man. Just say what you wanna say cause I'm getting real tired of you standing there just silently judging me with that- yep! Right there. With that smirk on your face."

Buck glances at Bobby and, yeah, Chim's right. Bobby's facing Chim, arms crossed and the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards, and it does look like Bobby is just silently judging from that stance. Of course, it falls the moment Chimney calls him out on it.

"Y'know you're always so quick to comment on everybody's life, but you completely shut down whenever we ask you about yours. Why is that? Huh? I mean, how long have we worked together, Bobby? I know nothing about you. I've never even met your wife and your kids!" Buck frowns because in the time he spent getting to know Bobby as a dad, he doesn't ever remember him mentioning any wife or kids. And he can't help but wonder, why is that? But then there's also another tiny voice in the back of his mind, taunting; _why don't you ever bring up Selina and Aimée?_ "You know why? Cause all you do is you sit there, brooding, staring in that little book of yours!"

Bobby's face has gone stoic, and he nods his head as he begins to turn away from Chimney, clearly growing angry. "You know what? Your upsell is dropping."

"Oh my god, Bobby, come on. Just say it! What is it!? Say it!"

Bobby turns back around, clearly fed up. "Alright! You're living a lie, man!" Buck fumbles with the plates slightly and his eyebrows are beyond his forehead as his eyes are wider than saucers. Talk about things escalating quickly. He cuts a glance at Hen, but she's just as surprised. "You let her manipulate you! You pretend to be somebody you're not when you're around here. Making up stories to satisfy some hero fetish of hers? What is that?"

"You know what? Maybe I wouldn't have to make up stories if every once in a while you let me take point on something! It's operate the winch, right? And the maneuver- I can do the maneuver!"

Buck snaps his head to Hen and Hen snaps her head to Buck because in all honesty, Chim can't do the maneuver.

"I know you can, that's not the point here. Chimney, this relationship that you're in is fueled by lies. C'mon, you ask me to make you two dinner so you can pass it off as your own."

Chim looks over to Buck and Hen. Hen quickly looks down and Buck sets a plate down, running his thumb over his eyebrow and glancing out of the corner of his eye to see Chim dejectedly look back at Bobby.

"She's not in love with you! She's in love with this fantasy version of you."

"You know what?" Chim nods sadly, moving back around the island and towards the steps. "I feel real bad for your wife. I really do. Must be tough living with someone who thinks he's right all the time."

"Chim!" Hen calls but Chim throws a hand up to cut her off.

"No, I'm getting some air."

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"Can you. . . I'm in my car. . ."_

_"Sir, I can't understand you. Could you speak louder please?"_

_"Send help. . . I was in a car accident."_

///////

Buck knows he has these tendencies to drift off into deep thought, especially when the firehouse is quiet and the bell hasn't gone off in a while. He'll be off by himself just thinking, but he won't be deep enough to the point where he's not aware of his surroundings.

Which is why he's so confused when Bobby's shouting from downstairs for everyone. And last he checked he most definitely was not deaf. So he leans over the railing, looking at Bobby with an eyebrow raised.

"For what? I didn't hear a bell."

"It's Chimney."

Buck doesn't need to be told twice.

*****

Buck was preparing himself for the worst and it didn't get any better when they arrived on the scene of a horrible wreckage. So he had one moment of short—very, very short—relief when Bobby informed them that Chim was still alive. Of course, it died the second Bobby continued with Chim's condition.

"He's alert and talking, doesn't appear to be in any pain."

Buck frowns incredulously. "He's got a piece of rebar through his skull. How is that even possible?"

"Oh, it's possible," Hen replies with a shake of her head. "Brain tissue has no known scepters. It can't feel pain."

"Okay, what about the rest of his head?" Can anyone really blame Buck? Last he checked, anyone who had something travel through their head was dead instantly. So, he's having just the slightest bit of difficulty believing that Chim is alive after having been impaled _in the head_ by a piece of rebar.

"He's in shock. It hasn't registered yet." Bobby gives Buck a more serious look. "He's knows he's pinned, but that's it. So we gotta be cool."

Buck frowns even more than he already has. "If this thing is right between his eyes, can't he see it?"

"I don't know what he can see."

Buck knows what he himself can see. Leaning on the hood of Chim's car—his windshield having been pulled completely out—Buck tries hard not to stare but he can't help it. There sits Chim, calm and collected, blood dripping down his face from the hole where a rebar has pierced his head. And Buck is cringing so hard on the inside and he does his best to remain cool but he's definitely gonna need a drink later to help him go to sleep tonight.

He can never look at unicorns the same. Ever. Again.

"What's your pain level?" Bobby asks calmly.

"Not much pain." Buck can't say the same. At this point, he thinks he has that synesthesia thing he read about online because he feels lots of pain. He's getting a headache just from looking at Chim; and Chim is saying he _doesn't_ have much pain? "Uh. . . I don't think there's any spinal damage. I can feel my legs, but. . . when I try and move my head—"

"NO!"

"Just. . . try and keep still," Bobby says as Chim frowns—or, at least, does his best to frown with the amount of restriction he has in the movement of his face.

"What's going on? W- w- w- w- why aren't you guys, like, cutting me out of here?"

"It's complicated."

"Why?!"

"You've been injured, Chim."

"Well, how bad is it?"

Buck grimaces. Bad is the understatement of the century. "It's not good."

And Hen can cut her glances all she wants but Buck is not going to sugar coat a damn rebar through the head. What is he supposed to tell Chim? _Oh, it's fine. No life-threatening injuries. You haven't just been unknowingly impaled._ Hell. No.

"Well, I wanna see it."

"No," Bobby looks pointedly at Chim—or, more accurately, the rebar in Chim's head. "No, you don't."

Chim cuts an aggravated glance at Bobby and Buck can still sense some tension from earlier. "Yeah, I do. Bobby, show me."

"Alright." Bobby reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone and opening the camera. He hits record, moving the camera up to Chim's face and pausing for a moment before stopping the recording and turning the phone to show Chim. "Are you ready?"

"Show it to me." Bobby hits the play button. "Holy s- crap. How come I'm not dead?"

Buck's been wondering the same thing for the past few minutes.

Bobby pats Chim's leg carefully and reassuringly. "Because you're the luckiest and the unluckiest son of a bitch on the face of the earth all at the same time."

"You guys, I can't even feel this."

"I know," Bobby's nodding and, honestly, Buck can tell that he's struggling to look Chim just in his eyes.

"Alright, well, please get me out of here before I start to—"

"Alright, we're working on it. Normally, I'd be consulting with my smartest EMT, but right now he's got a rebar stuck in his head."

They secure Chim tightly to his seat before having a tow truck lift his car, with Chim and Bobby inside, onto the platform. They escort it to the hospital, Hen driving the ambulance in front and Buck following suit in the fire engine.

They cut Chimney out once they're in front of the ER. Chim's already out on some heavy pain medication and they quickly wheel him towards the door where the doctors unsurprisingly stop.

"We'll take him from here." Buck can't believe it. Now the baby he can understand, but Chim is different. It's Chim. He's not a stranger and he's more than just a team member.

"What? No. We're not leaving his side."

"Are you family?"

The tone was so condescending that Buck was ready to go at it with the doctor right then and there. Buck doesn't have to share the same blood to be family because Chim is his brother and that's all that matters and if these doctors don't let him in he's going to—

"Buck." He turns to Bobby and he can't believe that he's just letting this go so easily. He should be arguing that yeah, they are Chim's family. But the moment he's distracted, the gurney is moving under his hands and he turns to see the doctors rushing Chim inside, the glass doors sliding closed and cutting him off from Chim. "Our job ends here at these doors like always."

///////

_"Hold up, so you're telling me that your friend was conscious not only after having been rammed into from behind, but having a rebar go through his head?"_

"Yeah, man. Straight through the head. Couldn't feel it, couldn't see it. Resembled a damn unicorn. Except the horn was angled down instead of up."

_"I'm gonna be sick."_

"You're gonna be sick just hearing about it? Imagine seeing it. Did you know how hard it was to go to sleep after that? He was on the table for about fourteen hours. Most stressful hours of my life. And then right after, he got put into a medically induced coma after hemorrhaging during the procedure."

_"Damn, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's not easy, almost losing someone close to you."_

"Yeah, it's not the best feeling. It makes me feel on edge. And I get this chest pain just from worrying so damn much and it just gets all hard to breathe—"

_"What you're describing to me is you panicking the moment you think you might lose someone important."_

"Of course I'm gonna panic, TK. You know how much I cherish my friends and family." Buck looks off in the distance, starting to rock a little bit and he can't remember when his chest started to hurt and when his eyes started burning. "There's so many people I want back in my life, but they're not here, TK. There's so many things I want to say to them that I didn't say back then and there's always that lingering feeling of what if I never get the chance to say it? This firehouse, this team, is the only family I have here. I'm not just gonna let that slip through my fingers like everything else."

 _"Buck, there's something else. I can hear it."_ Buck begins to deny, but TK is cutting him off. _"No, Buck, you're always telling me to talk to you, now I need you to talk to me. I'm your brother, I can hear your distress. You said this week has been hectic, and your friend is only one day. There are seven days in a week, Buck. What else is there that has you like this?"_

Buck inhales deeply and exhales shakily. He shakes his head, eyes closed and tears falling freely. "It was the flight. That damn flight."

_"The one with a hundred and seventy-six passengers?"_

"Do you just keep up with all the news that revolves around my area?"

_"Don't try to change the subject. Tell me what happened."_

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"I'm on a plane, and something happened to the engine and everything's. . . Oh my god! Everything's flying everywhere!"_

_"I'm sorry, you're on a train?"_

_"A plane! Oh my god, we're too close to those buildings! Oh my god, we're too close. . ."_

_"Hello? Ma'am?"_

///////

The one image that will probably haunt Buck the most is the floating bodies, some on fire, some still strapped in their seats. Then there's the scene of people still alive, panicking as flames dance along the surface of the water surrounding them. That's the one thing that amazes Buck the most. The fire.

 _The water_ is on fire.

The plane split in two on impact, and both halves contained people frantically trying to escape imminent death. They had cleared everyone out in a timely fashion, but two people still remained: a pinned mother, and Bobby. Hen was shouting for Buck to hop onto one of the rafts to take him back to shore, but Buck is not going to leave behind his captain. Because to him he's more than just his captain, he's family. And Buck refused to leave family behind.

He reaches for his radio, squinting through the haziness to see if he can spot Bobby still deep in the plane. "Bobby, it is time to go. Get out of there."

_"Buck, evacuate all rescue personnel. Everyone off the plane, now."_

Buck huffs indignantly. "Yeah, that means you too, Cap."

_"I need a minute!"_

"A minute? In a minute, you'll die."

There's no response. He glances to Hen who looks at Buck incredulously as he groans before heading back inside the plane. He moves through the water, spotting two heads poking out of it.

"Bobby!"

"I told you to leave, Buck!"

Buck does his best to keep his head above water as it rises to his chest the further he goes inside the plane. "No, I'm a terrible listener." He holds a rope up. "Take this rope, tie it to the seat. It works, trust me."

Bobby swims forward, but the plane begins sinking faster, and it seems as though Bobby is getting further and further away. "No, Bobby. Bobby!"

"Buck!"

And there's this pain in his chest, and he's panting heavily, something he really shouldn't do in the water. He's crying out, watching as the opening of the plane slowly makes its final descent below the waves.

"Bobby! BOBBY!" It's gone, and Buck struggles against the hands pulling him up and onto a boat. Hen quickly wraps him up, chastising him but he isn't paying attention. He runs his hand through his soaking hair, watching as a spotlight shines down on the last spot the plane was seen, and a man tied to a chopper reaches into the water.

He cries, tears mixing in with the salt water on his face, as they lift the coast guard man out of the water, holding tightly onto Bobby who grasps hands with the woman who was pinned in her chair. He throws his head back, using every curse word he knows on Bobby but at the same time being all the more grateful that he's still alive.

*****

"Abby. . ." Buck could not be more grateful for the distraction right about now.

 _"Hey, I'm so sorry. Hi, um. . . it's awful."_ Buck looks around at all the people walking about and sitting around covered in blankets, his eyes lingering on lumps hidden from the world by a white sheet.

"Yeah, it's grim."

_"Yeah, are you okay?"_

Buck takes a deep breath, nodding his head. "Yeah, I- I'm okay."

_"Okay. Well, I just. . . I wanted to, um. . . I don't know. This may be way out of line, but. . . I, um. . . I'm looking for a survivor."_

Buck frowns instantly, eyes traveling once again to the bodies hidden from view by a white sheet. "You knew someone on this flight?"

_"No. . . But a call came through a few hours ago. . . from the plane as it was going down."_

"Damn."

_"I just, I don't know. I wanna see if. . . like maybe. . . I hope, I hope the guy made it."_

"A lot of folks didn't."

_"I know. His name is Dale Marks. And he's got a pregnant wife waiting for him and. . . anyway."_

"Let me, uh. . . see what I can find out."

_"Okay, bye."_

*****

"I'm sorry, I. . ." Buck watches sadly as the coroners zip up the black bag, shielding the view of Dale Marks' body. "I know it's not what you wanted to hear."

For the first time, Abby hangs up the phone without one word being said. And Buck continues to stare at the bag long after the coroners have moved on to the next body.

_And he's got a pregnant wife waiting for him._

///////

Everything in his room has been rearranged, and he's definitely going to have to clean it up later, but now is not that time. He slumps against the wall, looking blankly at the many picture frames broken and strewn about the place. Potted plants are knocked over, soil spilt among the carpet. There are craters in his wall from him treating it as a punching bag. He takes another swig. Everyone stares at him blankly.

Minus TK. TK lies on the floor, pill bottles strewn around him.

"Could you quit staring at him, he'll be fine." Buck glances up at his bed and Selina shakes her head indignantly at his silence. "How about this; get off your sorry ass and do something around here for once."

Buck furrows his eyebrows in confusion and Selina nods in the direction of the tv where a little girl sits, staring at it even though it's not on. "She should've been put to bed hours ago. You know this."

He opens and closes his mouth, way beyond flabbergasted. There's a chuckle from the doorway and Maddie enters the room, applying a bag of ice to her face. "You guys argue like a married couple."

 _Argue?_ Buck hasn't said a single thing. Selina chuckles darkly, throwing a hateful look at Buck. "Yeah, we do. Don't we?"

An annoying alarm rings in his ears and he turns his head to his left. Sam kneels next to him, Buck's phone in his hand. The screen displays an incoming call, the word _Abby_ taunting him.

"Wow," Sam nods with a sadistic smirk. "When are you going to wake up, Evan?"

*****

Now, apparently. He wakes up in sweat, reaching over to slam—and he does slam—his alarm clock in annoyance. He grabs the bottle of vodka and groans as he rolls out of bed, slowly making his way to the kitchen to pour out the bottle. He opens the fridge door, pulling out the rest of the bottles, letting their contents go down the drain before tossing the empty bottles into a trash can.

He heads back to his room, quiet enough as to not wake the other occupants in the house. One quick look around his room shows that, in his drunken state, he had at least enough common sense to not put craters in his walls. However, plants still remain tipped over, and just about every picture that was up on his walls are thrown onto the ground. Except one. He moves to the only picture still on the wall, running a delicate thumb over the protective glass.

The blonde woman smiles brightly in the photo as she looks down at the little boy with whom she's holding hands. A smaller boy is on her shoulders. On the other side of the little boy is Maddie, also looking down at a young Buck. Buck is laughing without a care in the world as the two women swing him back and forth.

He sighs sadly as he steps away from the picture, moving back into the bedroom to grab his ringing phone.

"Hello?"

_"Hey, Buck? I. . . I need your help."_

///////

_Buck was only wandering around the hallway because he needed to use the bathroom. Of course, him being the nosy kid he is, he decides to linger by his mom and dad's door the moment he hears tension._

_"What else do you want me to say, Gwen?" They're both whisper shouting, and from looking through the crack, Buck can see that neither are happy. "I've said I'm sorry countless times, but you're still angry."_

_"Of course I'm angry!" His mom gestures to the door and, for a second, Buck tenses, prepared to quickly bolt back to the room, but it seems neither notice Buck through the crack of the door. "My son—"_

_"— **our** son—"_

_"—tried to kill himself, Owen! How the hell did he even get access to all those pills!?" She covers her mouth, shrugging helplessly as tears fall down her cheeks. "I don't know if I can trust you around my sons."_

_Owen scoffs, leaning back with an eye roll. "That's rich."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You heard me." Owen furrows his eyebrows at her, chuckling bitterly. "You can't trust me with TK because I slipped up and didn't hide the pill bottles well enough, but you have no problem sending Buck right along back to a guy who he doesn't need to go back to."_

_"Daniel has nothing to do with—"_

_"Like hell he does! You know I caught Buck putting on some makeup a few weeks back?"_

_"Evan can put on makeup if he wants to. There's no problem with—"_

_"Gwen, my son is gay and I love him same as I always have so don't even try." He points his finger at her accusingly. "This is about the bruises he's trying to hide. No, don't act all surprised—you'd have to be blind not to notice! I'm finding it baffling—no, appalling—that you can't trust me with my son who's just having a hard time right now—and I certainly am talking him through it—but you have no problem sending your boy back to a home where he's clearly being hit."_

_"Daniel is a good man—" Owen laughs once again. "—and there's nothing wrong with corporal punishment—"_

_"Oh my god—"_

_"—He's just showing a little tough love—"_

_"—I- I can't believe what I'm hearing—"_

_"—He only means the best for Evan."_

_"You're okay with it?! Perfectly fine." Owen shakes his head. "Hitting a child in anger is not considered reasonable and is against the law!"_

_"You need to keep your voice down."_

_"Why? Don't want anyone to hear the ugly truth?"_

_"Owen. . ."_

_"Which is that you—"_

_"Owen—"_

_"—Gwenyth Strand—"_

_"—Owen, stop—"_

_"—let your ex-husband—"_

_"—He's—"_

_"—abuse your own son!"_

_"—right behind you."_

_Owen freezes, turning to look at the door which is open wider than before, the boy in question standing there with hot tears running down his face and hands curled into fists. "Buck. . ."_

_Buck turns stalking back into the hallway and his mother quickly rushes forward, a hand reached out to tentatively touch his shoulder. Buck jerks immediately, looking at his mother straight in the eye._

_"Don't touch me." His eyes are red and his lip quivers as he breathes deeply. "I hate you."_

_And he leaves her there in the hallway as he heads back to sleep._

_*****_

_Buck bolts upright in bed when he doesn't feel TK next to him, eyes landing on him sitting at the foot of the bed, knees pulled up to his chest. Tears run down his face and Buck quickly hops up, moving to sit right next to him._

_"Hey, Ty. What happened? What's wrong?"_

_"She's gone, Buck." TK's sorrowful eyes move to Buck. "Mom left in the middle of the night, and I don't think she's coming back."_

///////

_"And you poured it all out?"_

"Yeah. I don't think I'm gonna be drinking vodka again for a _long_ time."

_"Can I ask you something?"_

"Yeah, sure."

_"You said you saw some past regrets?"_

"Yeah. Of sorts."

_"What. . . What did you see?"_

Buck swallows thickly, breathing deeply. "Not. . . maybe another time. It's just. . ."

_"No! I completely understand. I'm sorry I asked."_

"Don't be sorry, TK. You have nothing to be sorry for."

_"Well, did anything else happen?"_

Buck stares hard at the happy picture still hanging lonely on his wall. "No. . . nothing else."

///////

Buck breathes in deeply, shaking off his nerves and rapping his fist against the door. It swings open not a moment later, a young, dark woman dressed in nurse scrubs giving him a once over.

"Oh. . ."

Buck furrows his eyebrows. She sounds a bit different. "Abby?"

She stutters and another woman enters the doorway, dressed in overalls and long, ginger hair cascading past her shoulders. Her glasses reflect the light from the hallway, but Buck can still see the worry and recognition in her eyes. The tenseness she seems to have dissipates as her eyes land on Buck, and he smiles knowingly. "Abby."

"Hi, Buck." And that's her voice. A beautiful voice on a beautiful woman.

He clasps his hands together, eyes darting from somewhere in the apartment and back to Abby nervously. "So, what do we know so far?"

"Come on in," she says, glancing to the other woman who smiles slyly at her. "Yeah, come in."

He quickly steps in, following Abby to a room where a hospital bed is set up.

"I'm Carla, by the way!"

Buck smiles fondly at the tone and turns to give Carla a bright smile. "Evan. Buckley."

"Oh, I _know_."

"Um, anyway!" Abby says quickly, dragging Buck over to a table where she has a laptop and a map set up, Carla quickly joining the two. Abby points to a spot on the map. "So, we're here. I made assumptions based on her being on foot because if she's on a bus or in a taxi then. . . She could've gone much further."

"No, this is good," Buck studies the layout of the map, seeing a lot of area being covered. "This is really impressive. What do you figure? Like, two miles an hour walking?"

"Three," Buck looks up at Carla who rolls her eyes fondly. "Patricia is an annoyingly fast walker."

"Even if she's been gone for nine hours, she couldn't have been walking the entire time."

"I know, that's what I was thinking. So, I figured maybe fifteen to twenty-mile range, but then that seems too far so. . . brought it down to twelve, but in any direction." Buck looks in amazement because that is some damn calculations he would struggle with. Brains and beauty. That's something entirely new from the past "relationships" he's been having. "So, we would have just under five hundred and twenty-seven square miles to check. But I mean. . . literally, she could be anywhere!"

Abby looks up at Buck, stress written all over her face. She rubs at her temple gently. "I- I- I- I- I- I. . ." She sighs, resting her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do. It's so much better when it's somebody else's emergency."

"No one is good when it's personal," Buck looks at her reassuringly and he really just wants to wrap her up in a hug, promise her that they will find her mom. However, there are boundaries and Buck doesn't know if hugging is allowed right now. "We got this, okay? We're gonna find your mom. Promise."

"Okay," Abby nods solemnly, looking from the computer to the map. "How're we gonna do it?"

"One mile at a time." Abby smiles gratefully, tears welling in her eyes. "Let's go find her."

///////

 _"Yeah, I see your photo,"_ Athena says through the phone. _"Patricia Clarke, white female. They got me riding the desk right now, but I'll keep my ears open."_

"Thank you, Sergeant," Buck says as he ends the calls, looking to Abby with a reassuring smile. "She won't let us down. And we have this. . ." Buck turns the dial on the scanner up a little more. "So, if a call comes in about your mom, we'll be first on the scene."

"Kind of a bummer we had to meet under these circumstances," Abby says, glancing out the window and then to Buck with a sad smile. "I mean, especially with our 'only on the phone' plan."

Buck chuckles and he really wonders how he got so lucky meeting such a kind, beautiful woman. "Worst first date ever, right?"

Abby chuckles, looking out the window at the many people walking up and down the streets. "I've probably had worse."

Buck's intrigued, focusing on the road but still glancing over in interest. "Like what?"

"I mean, to be honest, it's a little fuzzy. It's been a while since I've been out on a date."

"How long, a few weeks?"

"Try more like. . . almost a year."

Buck's looking at her incredulously, not because of the time frame. Heck, Buck hasn't been on a proper date since. . . Well, it's been a long time. No, what surprises Buck is the fact that a woman as beautiful, smart, and outgoing as Abby hasn't been out on a date in about a year.

"What? I mean, that's not possible. Who do you have sex with?"

It's become his hard drive since he moved to LA. He rooms with some chill guys he met and he beds any girl while trying to ignore their resemblance to either his late, long-term girlfriend or his old crush that he seemingly never got over.

Abby looks at Buck incredulously, breathing out a laugh. Buck glances at her face which gives him his answer and he's blinking in surprise. "You've not had sex in almost a year?!"

"No," she shakes her head, gesturing to nothing in particular. "I haven't had sex in. . . in a year!"

Buck is smiling in astonishment and he furrows his eyebrows. "Not even with yourself?"

"Oh my god!" she chuckles nervously, wagging a finger at him. "I didn't say that. I am more, um. . . you know, human contact, y'know, touch of skin kind of person. It's just really hard to feel sexy with your mom dying in the dining room."

Buck's smile falls and he's looking back over at Abby, this time in concern. He nods understandingly and she smiles softly, as if she can hear the apology stuck in his throat.

 _"Respond to 800 Compton Ave."_ Both frown at the scanner. _"High voltage wires down in the pool. Three-year-old child trapped."_

"That's, like, two blocks from here." Buck looks at Abby in confusion, but somewhere deep down inside he's doing a slight flip. He's found this woman who he hasn't had sex with, enjoys talking to, and shares his affinity for saving people. And his liking for her just continues to grow.

"The truck's been dispatched, they got it."

"Yeah, but it'll take eight to twelve minutes to get there. This I know cause I do it every day." Buck frowns at her because if she does this the chances of her finding her mom grow slimmer. "We should go. Can't just pass it by."

And she's right, Buck really can't. And he's not about to add the death of a three-year-old to his guilty conscious. So, he's redirecting his route and soon they're pulling up to an accident. They both hop out his jeep, casting their eyes first to the motorcycle on its side, the cyclist thankfully not severely hurt, before focusing on the truck that swerved and hit a utility pole.

Buck quickly rushes over to the truck as the driver slowly climbs out, worryingly slow. "Alright, woah, woah, woah. Take it easy, take it easy."

Buck is reaching up his hand, instincts taking over as he glances over the man for any injuries needing attention. "Is anything hurt?"

"He came out of nowhere," the man replies, looking dejectedly at the wrecked vehicle.

When Buck deduces that the man is okay, he's calling for Abby as the two make their way into the backyard of a lovely home where the utility pole crashed upon.

"Oh my god," Buck says, eyes assessing the situation quickly as he's been trained to do. First thing he notices, of course, is the frantic woman crying and gesturing to the small child sitting on a float in the in-ground pool. Then, he takes notice of the wires, still live, submerged under the surface of the water. Finally, his gaze sets on the man floating in the water, already gone.

"Please help me!" The woman cries hysterically as she gestures to the little girl and the utility pole. "There's a power line, it fell into the water, and Alex jumped in to try to save the baby."

"Alex, he's your husband?" Buck asks as he guides the woman away from the edge of the pool.

"He's the nanny!"

"Momma!" Buck glances to the little girl sitting in the center of the pizza float, surprisingly calm—well, calmer than he expected for a three-year-old.

"Emma!" And then Buck's turning his head to see a man barreling towards the pool and he doesn't think, just acts. He's shouting at the man but when he doesn't stop, Buck tackles him to the ground. "What are you doing!?"

"No, hey!" Buck wrestles his arms out of the man's grasp, pinning him to the ground and gesturing to the pool. "Hey! I'm a firefighter, okay? You can't see it, but those power lines are sending five thousand volts through that water. Anyone touches it and they are dead."

The man is calmer now, slumping against the ground and breathing more controllably. "Okay, listen, I understand. It's okay." Buck cautiously climbs off the man, helping him to his feet. "I'm gonna help. I'm gonna help her, okay?" He brings the two parents into the little girl's view, just a few feet away from the edge. "You and your wife do everything you can to make sure she stays on that float."

Buck looks around, trying to think of a plan as the two comfort their daughter in the best way possible.

"Can we turn the power off ourselves?" Abby asks.

"No, um. . ." Buck continues looking around, eyes landing on an inflated orca. He quickly moves to it, Abby following behind.

"What are you doing?" She furrows her eyebrows in confusion as Buck picks up the pool float and tries to figure out how he can safely move across the water to the little girl.

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna ride this thing out and scoop her up."

"No, you're not!" Abby shakes her head at him incredulously because he has _definitely_ lost his mind. "Did you get that from the macho handbook? That's insane!"

"Yeah, there's no way that book actually exists," Buck quips, moving towards the pool when Abby stops him.

"Actually, just give me your knife." How did she. . ? "You have a knife, right? You're a fireman."

Huh. She's still surprising him with her smarts. "Yeah. Yeah, okay." Buck reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his pocketknife and handing it to Abby. "What are you. . ?"

She pulls out the green hose, cutting it and handing the end to Buck. "Here, take this."

Buck nods in complete understanding, grasping the hose. "It's rubber so it won't conduct static electricity. That's good—that's genius!"

Buck moves to the far side of the pool, Abby remaining on the same side as the parents. The hose hovers above the pool as the two slowly move towards the little girl. When the hose is right by her head, she reaches up, holding on tightly, and Buck and Abby begin to move back the way they came from, the little girl moving along with them. She reaches the edge and her parents happily scoop her off the float, holding her close just as LAFD shows up, his own team.

It's not Bobby or Hen or Chim. It's his friend Gerald, though everyone in the house usually refers to him by his last name, Oliver. Buck would sometimes call him "Olly Olly Oxen Free".

"DWP cut the power," Oliver says as he spots Buck moving from behind the family alongside Abby. "We're all clear."

"Great." Buck says, clasping his outstretched hand and bringing his other one to pat him on the arm. "Good to see you, man."

"Good job," he says, eyeing the little girl curled up in her mother's arms. The two men with Oliver kneel by the pool, assessing Alex. Buck nods at Oliver before he heads off to the family.

"Thanks man." Abby and Buck continue back to the street, breathing happily as the firefighters do their thing. He raises a hand, invitingly. "Good job."

"Thanks," Abby responds softly, clasping his hand, and giving it a little victory shake. She glances at Buck in confusion as his eyes remain on her hand, his other hand resting among her forearm. And he likes it, the feel of her hand in his. He's smiling at it, all warm inside and realizing just how happy and safe he feels with her. "What?"

He looks at her, taking in her bright smile, beautiful shining blue eyes, and he gets all nervous because, yeah, he's totally gushing over her and he didn't even realize. "Nothing."

"That was so exhilarating!" Abby sighs happily as they make their way back to Buck's jeep. "I mean, I'm usually miles away on the other end of a phone, but. . . you get to do that every day. It's such a high."

"Well, you were really good," he runs a thumb over his eyebrow before looking at her, giving her a warm smile.

"Thanks." And then she's sighing and her smile is falling as she looks back out at the street.

"I know," Buck says, nodding as she looks at him sadly. "Let's go find her."

///////

Abby and Buck quickly look around as they enter the hospital, having gotten a call from Athena earlier about the possibilities of her mom being there. He spots the cop down the hallway, getting Abby's attention as he makes his way towards her.

"Athena!" she turns, striding towards Buck. "Hey, she okay?"

"Doctor's looking at her now. You the daughter?"

"Yeah," Abby responds, glancing at the doorway Athena was just standing at. "I'm Abby Clarke."

"You guys have actually met," Buck adds, gesturing between Abby and Athena. "Abby was the 9-1-1 dispatch on that home invasion in Winnetka."

"Okay, well, I'm still trying to get the story on what happened to her, but, um, seems like your mother made it all the way to South Los Angeles." Athena looks to the woman standing politely by the door. "This woman brought her in."

Both Abby and Buck look to the beautiful brunette woman. Abby steps forward gratefully, Buck straggling behind with a strange look.

"Thank you, so much!" Abby throws her arms around her, startling the woman who returns the hug. "What happened? Was she hurt?"

"Oh no, she was confused, agitated," the woman looks to the door and back to Abby. "I could tell she didn't belong in the area. I brought her here because I do remember seeing her around these parts before." She rests a hand on Abby's shoulder. "I know how hard this must be, and I pray that you stay strong. I'm afraid it doesn't get any easier from here."

Abby nods, moving into the room when her mom calls, leaving Athena, Buck, and the woman. Athena smiles softly at the sight of Abby and her mother, turning and furrowing her eyebrows at the two behind her. They're both also watching the interaction, but they're tense, a good amount of space between them.

The woman catches Athena's gaze, breathing deeply and gesturing down the hallway. "Well, I better get going."

She starts off and Buck runs a thumb over his eyebrow before gesturing in the same direction. "I'mma go. . . get some water."

And Athena shakes her head because maybe Captain Nash is wrong, maybe Buck is still having trouble keeping it in his pants. And she knows this for a fact because the water fountain is in the other direction.

*****

He knew. He knew from the moment Athena introduced her. That's why he followed behind her, waiting until they were out of Athena's viewpoint before reaching for her arm.

"Wait!" She turns around. Her hair is more tame and a lot browner. Buck stands-- towers-- over her now, and she's looking up instead of just at him. "I, um. . . your hair."

She nods sadly, glancing down at the strands as she rubs them between her fingers. "Yes. I decided to go back to my natural roots. Blonde wasn't working for me."

He opens and closes his mouth, the words stuck deep within him. This was a mistake. He turns, moving to head back, and this time she's the one who reaches out, slipping a card into his hand.

"Maybe you can call me later?" she lets go, pulling back. "Goodbye, Evan."

And Buck watches as his mother walks out the hospital doors.

///////

Buck is still staring hard at the card when Abby opens the door, helping her mom move back towards the bed. He stands immediately, waiting in case his assistance is needed. Patricia looks up at him, pointing with a smile.

"Is this Tommy?" _Tommy?_ "Did you cut your hair differently?"

Buck gives Abby a goofy smirk and Abby shakes her head with an embarrassed smile. "Mom, that's not Tommy. Um, I broke up with Tommy. That's Buck, he was the one who helped me find you."

"Where did I go?"

Buck frowns, looking to Abby in concern. She doesn't answer as she pulls the blanket over her legs. "I'm just gonna walk him out, okay? I'll be right back."

He bends down next to Patricia, shaking her hand gently. "It was nice to meet you, Miss Clarke."

"Thank you," she says, beckoning Buck closer. He kneels down, looking at her fondly. She glances at Abby and then back to Buck. "Be kind to her."

"Okay!" Abby calls from the doorway and Buck can't help but smile as he rises to his feet, following Abby to the door. He chuckles as Abby closes the door to the dining room.

"So, that is the most amount of time I have ever spent with a woman I wanna have sex with, _without_ actually having sex with them."

Abby shakes her head with a laugh, gesturing to the door. "My mom?"

Buck didn't see it coming. Beautiful. Smart. Courageous. Funny. He's learned all of this from spending one day with her. He looks back at the door jokingly. "It's that night dress." The two burst out into laughter. "So hot."

And then he's doing it again, smiling fondly at Abby because he's laughing and he feels happy and warm and safe.

"Well," Abby says with a sigh. "I guess we should probably just go back to being phone buddies again."

"Why?" the smile is falling, because after the day he's had—with not a single negative thought all day—he can't imagine wanting to go back to not seeing her or only talking with her on the phone.

"Because I like hanging out with you, too. And I think that if we continue to hang out, we will. . . mistakes will be made." Buck nods understandingly because he, too, wants this to be something more than a quick lay. She's much more than someone to just have sex with. "I just wanna say thank you so much for today, and not just what you did for my mom and for me, which was amazing. . . But you really gave me back a piece of myself. You're the first person in a long time to show me that I exist outside of this house and away from this hospital bed and the frustration. So, thanks."

"Oh, then you're very welcome. Really." And she's pulling him by the hand, bringing him close and wrapping her arms around him and he's wrapping his arms around her. And for the first time, since Selina and Aimée, Buck feels truly happy. Calm. Like maybe things aren't all bad. Because Abby's here and she makes him feel happy. Safe. Whole.

She pulls back, still holding his hands. "And no matter what you're feeling right now. . . don't go have sex with some girl on Tinder." They're back to laughing, and she points at him jokingly. "You were thinking about it."

It's a joke, and he's looking at her fondly. She could say that she doesn't want to be with him and Buck wouldn't go running to the next girl. Abby is something more because she's the second girl he's met that made him feel like he doesn't need to have sex as long as he's with her. "I'll call you."

She walks him to the door and they say their final goodbyes before parting ways. It's when he's in his car that he remembers one more thing.

_But you really gave me back a piece of myself._

Abby gave him back a piece of himself, a piece he didn't realize he was missing. And he looks down at the card in his hand, his phone in the other.

_There's so many people I want back in my life, but they're not here._

He's dialing the numbers, thumb hovering above the call button.

_There's so many things I want to say to them that I didn't say back then and there's always that lingering feeling of what if I never get the chance to say it?_

He hits call, bringing the phone up to his ear and waiting patiently.

_"Hello?"_

"Mom. . ."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for. So much excitement is in me. The previews along have me all over the place. I feel kinda guilty though, it's Abby and Buck's moment and I was mainly focused on Eddie's reaction. Can you blame me though? The he does a double take when he sees Buck's reaction to seeing Abby, I kept replaying that. Anyways, it has been longer than I planned but I've been writing and rewriting and going over my story future wise and making changes. I really love that you guys are enjoying the story and I'm taking my time working on it to make sure it's a story you guys will keep enjoying.
> 
> Warnings: character death. Please let me know of any other warnings you feel should be listed and I will gladly add them in.

The air between them is heavy with awkwardness, both avoiding eye contact and tapping their fingers rhythmically against their cups of coffee. Gwenyth eventually sighs.

"I'm so, so sorry." Buck finally moves his eyes from the cars outside to his mother's sad gaze. "I have so many regrets in life and one of the biggest is letting Daniel ever put his hands on you."

"I'm sorry, too." Buck reaches forward, gently resting his hand over hers. He swallows thickly, shaking his head. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you." Buck is looking deep in her eyes. "You're my mom. You'll always be my mom."

"But I haven't been." She shakes her head, looking down for a moment before looking back up to Buck. "It's been ten years since I last saw you. Ten! That's ten years I have to make up because I never should have walked out."

"You were hurt, I never should've said those things."

"You were hurt!" She brings her other hand to cup his cheek, brushing her thumb along his cheekbone. "And I let it happen. You had every right to be mad. And I plan to make it up. To you, to Tyler, to Owen. I'm gonna make it up and hopefully we can restore our broken bonds."

Buck wants to disagree, but both of them would see right through that lie. He's happy his mom is here, and no, he doesn't really hate her. But his trust in her is severely low, and that's something that hurts him deep down.

_Invite her to the house. Invite her to the house. Invite her to the—_

"I hope we can restore those bonds, too." Buck doesn't miss the small flicker of hope diminish in her eyes as he stands with his cup of coffee, his other hand rubbing awkwardly on the front of his pants. "I, um. . . I have to go. Can't be late for the job, y'know." _Invite her to the house._ "Talk to you later?"

Gwen nods sadly as he rushes out the shop and to his Jeep. Her coffee isn't hot anymore, but she still sips at it anyway as he peels out of the parking lot and disappears from view.

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

_"My girlfriend passed out! I think she had a heart attack."_

_"Is she breathing normally, sir? Can you feel a pulse?"_

_"Yeah, yeah. I can feel her breathing, but her heart is racing like crazy."_

_"What is your location, sir. An ambulance will be on the way."_

_"No, it won't! I'm in a Cessna flying over Los Angeles."_

///////

Buck is already so done with today. He first woke up today already in a bad mood because one of his roommates—annoying (pardon his language) fuckers they can be sometimes—decided to finish off the coffee and not buy any more. So, he had to haul his ass to the nearest coffee shop where, low and behold, Gwenyth was also buying a cup.

Now, it's not like he didn't want to see his mom. He had talked to her that night he'd helped Abby find her mom, but he was hoping to get just a few days in to just. . . grasp the concept of the fact that his mom was here, in Los Angeles, after walking out on him, Ty, and Owen ten years ago. He didn't know what to say (besides the obvious _I'm sorry_ and _I don't hate you_ ), couldn't hold a long conversation, and he found himself using work as an excuse to leave (not that he doesn't love his job).

To put it simply, Buck was stressed. He _is_ stressed, and it's way too early for him to be stressed. He's stressed and annoyed, but fortunately no longer tired (that coffee did wonders, he'll have to go there more often) and on top of that, it's almost Valentine's Day. And if there's one thing many people would be surprised to learn about Buck, it's that he hates Valentine's Day. Despises it. He didn't even celebrate the dumb holiday with Selina, who was okay with that fact because, hell, they were dating. Every day is Valentine's Day when you're in a relationship. What's the need to go all out for one day?

When he gets to the firehouse, though, all that stress and annoyance melts away. Despite having a job of facing life or death situations and coming across sad incidences, Buck finds himself calm and happy when with the 118. So, for now, he can forget the dread creeping up inside him. He'll deal with it later.

And it most certainly will come back later.

*****

The fire engine is already rolling to a stop as the plane slows to a stop on the golf course. They're hopping out quickly, grabbing equipment and heading over to the man as he carefully carries his girlfriend out of the plane.

"Does she have any history of heart problems?" Bobby asks as he, Buck, and the man slowly lower her to the ground, Hen silently snatching the headset off of her.

"No, she's only thirty-two. How does this happen?"

"Blood pressure's eighty over forty," Hen says routinely, not bothering to answer the man. "Still dropping."

"Looks like a possible heart attack." Buck wouldn't really know, seeing as he doesn't have the complete list of symptoms or signs, but, from the circumstances, it seems most likely. Bobby looks up at an expectant Hen.

"Nitro sublingual."

Buck's phone rings as Hen turns and reaches into her bag. He grimaces slightly, catching Bobby's disapproving look before grabbing the phone, which he'll now remember to silence beforehand, and hitting answer.

"Hey, Abbs!" There's part of Buck that's worried and confused. Last he checked, Abby was working today unless something happened. Hopefully nothing's wrong, but if there is, and it'll pain him to say it, he would have to call her back. He makes a mental note to talk to her later about the right time to call. "I'm on a call."

 _"Ok, but don't hang up."_ He grabs the bag Hen passes to him, again slightly grimacing at Bobby's now astonished gaze. Now, Buck isn't a mind reader, but the look on Bobby's face is written on a big sign. **Are you kidding me?** _"I'm the one who took the call you're on."_

That's absolutely convenient. Buck is thanking the heavens because if Abby is calling about the current situation, then it's the perfect excuse that he can give Bobby later when he'll no doubt pull him to the side to discuss answering his phone in the middle of a call.

_"Listen, after he told me about the stunt that he pulled and he told me about her condition, I called her doctor."_

Hold up. Rewind. Did Buck miss something or is the guy not telling them everything? "Wait, what stunt?"

 _"Oh, he didn't tell you?"_ Buck's glancing at Bobby and Bobby is raising an eyebrow at the word "stunt". _"Romeo faked an air emergency."_

Buck strongly resists the urge to sigh in exasperation, roll his eyes, and message his forehead all at the same time. Because, really? Buck has his moments, but even he isn't that crazy or stupid. No, instead he's raising an eyebrow incredulously at the man. "You faked an emergency?"

And now Bobby is looking at the man as well. Even Hen casts a quick, judgmental glance at the man before returning to what she was doing. The man in question splutters, eyes casting off at the plane and the ground and his girlfriend in embarrassment and shame.

"I was proposing. I thought I was being romantic."

_"The doctor says she's on levothyroxine for her thyroid condition, which you know can cause heart palpitations."_

"Guys," Hen and Bobby look up questioningly, deciding at this point that anything Buck says is obviously concerning the woman. "She's on levothyroxine."

Bobby reaches out quickly, hand wrapping around Hen's and stopping her from injecting the nitro sublingual. Hen looks to Bobby understandingly.

"Not a heart attack," Bobby is stating. Hen nods, agreeing.

"Broken heart syndrome?"

"That's what I'm thinking."

"I'll get the adenosine."

"That's a real thing?" The guy is asking incredulously. Buck can't really blame him, it definitely sounded rubbish to him when he first heard about it as well.

"Mimics the symptoms of a heart attack," Bobby turns to look at him and Buck honestly feels a bit sorry. Being on the receiving end of Bobby's judgement is no fun. "It was probably brought on by her thyroid medication and you nearly scaring her half to death."

The guy slumps his shoulders. Bobby always has a way to multiply internal guilt by infinity.

"You don't treat it the same as a cardiac event," Hen says, focusing more on the small bottle and needle in her hands. "That nitro we almost gave her could've caused some real damage."

Hen injects it and instantly there's a change in the woman's stance. Her eyelids flutter before flying straight open, and she gasps audibly as her eyes widen and she shoots straight up, Buck leaning back to avoid being hit.

"Good call, Abby. She's conscious."

Bobby and Hen help her sit up, and she's locking eyes with her boyfriend.

"Can I see the ring again?"

The question definitely causes Buck to raise an eyebrow, maybe even roll his eyes a little. _"Wait, what's happening?"_

Buck watches as the man pulls out a nicely picked diamond ring. "Uh, I think she's actually considering his proposal."

He situates himself onto one knee, graciously sliding the ring onto her finger.

"Yes," she says so quietly that Buck almost didn't catch it.

"She said yes," and he's smiling. Yes, it's a sweet moment, proposals almost always are.

It doesn't change the fact that Buck still hates Valentine's Day.

Nor does it alleviate his ignored stress.

And he certainly hasn't forgotten about his dread.

Or maybe he can. Because a loud smack is ringing in the air and Buck is grimacing and subconsciously jerking his head slightly, blinking in confusion. He feels a ghost pain and for a second, it almost feels as if he were the one that just got smacked.

"And she smacked him."

///////

Everyone is gathered, firefighters and civilians alike, upstairs in the loft, talking happily and congratulating the man of honor as he maneuvers through the sea of people. He collapses against the island in relief, looking up dramatically at his favorite team.

"Bobby!"

"Chim!" Bobby retorts, big smile on his face as Chim gestures wildly to the crowd. "How're you doing?"

"Bobby, we have an intruder!"

"Intruder?" Hen mockingly furrows her eyebrows, bringing a hand up to Chim's forehead. "Chim, do we need to send you back for another check-up?"

Chimney bats Hen's hand away, pointing accusingly into the crowd. "There's a guy out there, dressed in the firefighter uniform and you know what he said to me? He said, 'I take it you're unicorn man.' Unicorn Man?!"

Buck laughs amusingly, patting Chim on the shoulder which Chim brushes off. "Uh, Chim, I don't know if you've realized but. . ." Buck gestures to everyone around the loft. "This is a firehouse and you did kind of resemble a unicorn."

"No, no, his uniform is black!" All three furrow their eyebrows in confusion, looking back up among the sea of blue uniforms. "No one here wears black. Plus the patch on his arm? New York. Correct me if I'm wrong, but no one here is from New York."

"Say what now?" Buck says, eyes moving from the bodies and back to Chim.

"Yeah, he's from New York—where are you going?" Chim watches in confusion as Buck moves abruptly from around the island, towards the sea of people. He's ignoring his teammates questions of confusion as he squeezes past people before reaching a group of coworkers.

And there, in the center of a little chatting circle, is the supposed intruder.

"Ty?!" TK turns instantly at the sound of his name, big bright goofy smile and puppy dog eyes sparkling.

"Buck! What a coincidence to see you here!"

*****

"Brother!?" Chim looks from Buck to TK to Buck and back to TK again. "I must still be on the table. It's all a nightmare. . ."

"A mini Buckaroo," Hen smiles kindly at the younger man. "I wasn't expecting this."

TK gives her his usual million-dollar smile, extending his hand politely. "I take it you're Henrietta."

"Oh, so _she_ has a name. I see you take after your brother's teasing habits." Chim crosses his arms, pouting like a small child. TK laughs in earnest, holding his hand out to the smaller man.

"Sorry. Chimney, is it?" TK nods to the welcome back cake, a large replica of the aforementioned man's head with a rebar sticking through it. "In my defense, you do resemble a unicorn."

"Fair point," Chimney says, shaking his head at the cake. "Never again!"

And finally, TK turns his attention to Bobby. "Captain Nash. . ." Bobby raises an eyebrow when TK makes no move to extend his hand. "Oh no, you don't get a handshake until you tell me what that girl said to you."

And Buck's barking out a laugh as Chim, Hen, and Bobby furrow their eyebrows in confusion, looking between a laughing Buck and a smiling TK. What a pair.

"He's. . . He's talking about. . . the maneuver." Bobby's mouth forms an 'o' in understanding, and Hen and Chim also join in with Buck in his laughter, attention now on Bobby. "He will forever hate you until you come up with an ending."

"You know," Hen says, resting a hand on Bobby's shoulder. "What did she say to you, Cap?"

Bobby chuckles, gesturing to TK. "I don't know. Tell you what, I'll come back to you if TK here helps me come up with an adequate ending."

"Deal!" TK is saying with a hand extended and a bright, goofy smile. "It is a pleasure meeting you, Captain."

"Call me Bobby, kid." Bobby shakes his hand, respectively. "So, what brings you all the way to LA?"

"Oh, you know. . ." TK throws Buck a look and, even after all these years, Buck can still spot the deeper meaning behind it. "When family calls, I'll come. I'm on my vacation anyway, and I wouldn't miss a chance to see my brother again."

_When family calls. . ._

And Buck certainly did not call TK. And he knows then that his mom is doing more than just trying to reconnect; she's trying to put the family back together.

"Well, I hope you can stay long enough for cake."

TK grins widely, almost maniacally, at the sound of sweets. "You don't have to ask me twice."

*****

"Welcome back, Chim!" Bobby says, carrying the large cake over as everyone cheers and claps.

"Aw, you guys," Chimney smiles cheekily as his main friends—Bobby, Hen, Buck (and his new favorite TK, don't tell Buck)—smile happily at him.

"How does it feel to be back?" Buck is asking , thumb tucked through a belt loop. One of his many 'teasing mode' stances.

"Um. . ." Chimney looks at Buck, a sparkle shining in his eyes. "Beats the alternative." How Buck missed the playful banter. Everyone around the two chuckle at Chim's answer. "Seriously though, everybody, one thing I realized while I was gone was that I really need you people." Chim nods and while everyone prepares the 'aww' to spill from their mouths, Chim grins teasingly. "Like I need a hole in the head!"

And the 'aww' still resonates, but now it's exasperated, accompanied by eye rolls and chuckles-- a big one especially from TK, who isn't used to the firehouse dynamic.

"I like this guy!" He's saying, much to Chim's amusement.

"Yes, I have also found Buck's replacement!" Chim pats TK on the back as the younger man tries to soothe a dramatic Buck as he guffaws at the exclamation. Everyone around them gives joking cheers, adding insult to Buck's injury.

Bobby smiles endearingly. "This place hasn't been the same without you, Chim." Everyone quiets down again, looking from Bobby to Chim as the Captain speaks. "You're the heart of this firehouse. Glad to have you back."

Chim rubs at his neck with an earnest smile. "Thanks, Bobby."

"You had a lot of people praying for you." Athena adds from her end of the table. Because this family extends more than just the house. "Not just this department either."

"Well, I think somebody was listening." Chim responds, once again glancing down at the cake. "Even doctors kept using the word 'miracle'. I guess if you're gonna have a piece of rebar that's sticking through your skull, that's the way to do it."

And Buck still can't let go of it because he's gesturing to Chim's forehead in earnest curiosity. "So, not even a headache?"

"Just you, Buck." And everyone's laughing again, including TK. Buck punches his brother in the arm and he raises his hands in surrender.

"He's not wrong!" Is his excuse.

"Ohhh!" Hen says with a smile, reaching to get a high five from the traitor. "Shade, shade, shade, shade, shade."

Buck shakes his head but has a small smile tugging at his lips as he points at Hen. "Oh, that's not funny."

"Shade, shade, shade." Buck sticks his tongue out. To Hen, to Chim. As for TK, he received a pretty bird, one which the younger returned. "Shade, shade."

"Alright," Bobby says, ending the light banter and pulling out a match box. "Let's light you up so you can make a wish."

"Alright!" Chimney says, rubbing his hands together as Bobby slowly opens the box and. . .

Nothing. Completely empty.

Bobby throws up his hands in exasperation. "Alright, who's got a match?" No one speaks up. Not a single person. "Really? Firehouse and nobody's got a match?"

"Ain't that a damn shame," TK says as everyone bursts into chuckles once more. Bobby shakes his head with a smile, moving to the stairs to go search for a match. The moment he disappears, TK is clapping his hands together mischievously. "Alright! Let's cut this cake."

Everyone cheers, to which TK shushes them profusely. They chuckle as he passes the knife to Chim, everyone too impatient to wait for a candle to be lit.

"Well, it ain't that hard to believe he's your brother, Buck," Athena is saying before taking a bite of her own slice of cake.

"The question remains," Chim says, eyeing Buck and TK who look on nervously. "Does he have the same amount of stupidity."

Both boys smile, but TK is beating Buck to speaking up. "Oh, not at all. He's taken all the stupid with him."

"You know what, I don't need this." Buck fakes being mad, storming off towards the stairs. "I'm gonna go find Bobby."

Of course by the time he's a few steps down, Bobby's already returning, accompanied by a red-haired beauty.

"Hey, Abby!" Buck calls, happily rushing down the rest of the steps to greet her.

She returns the smile, moving past Bobby. "Hi!"

"You showed! That's so cool!" He moves to wrap an arm around her back and she returns the hug, holding one arm out to keep her plate of cookies stable. Buck is immediately taking the plate off her hands, leading her up the steps. "And you brought cookies, wonderful!"

He smiles down happily, holding up the plate of cookies high as everyone turns their attention to the two of them. "So, everyone! This is Abby Clarke. She is LA's fiercest 9-1-1 operator and she brought cookies."

Everyone claps joyously at the sound of cookies because, hey, it's cookies. He leads her forward as Chim moves to intercept them.

"This is Chim, y'know, the guy."

Abby croons, looking at Chim with a bit of sympathy, "Hi, how are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm good. I can barely feel it."

"That's great."

"Oh, would you like some cake?"

Abby shakes her head, and Chim pulls the plate back only to have it snatched by TK. "Don't mind if I do."

"Didn't you already have some cake?"

"I'm on vacation, hop of Uni." TK shovels some into his mouth as Chim guffaws.

"And I called you my favorite Buckley."

"I can't be. There's only two and I'm. . ." TK pats the patch over his right pocket, displaying his name. "Not one of them."

Chim cocks his head to the left because how had he not noticed that before? "Strand?"

TK's already moved on before Chim has the time to question the fact about there still being another Buckley. "And how come I didn't get a grand introduction!?" However, he still turns to Abby with a charming smile. "Hello, Abby. I'm TK, the more attractive one of Buck's family."

"And also the one who's more full of himself," Buck adds while swiping his finger in TK's cake, bringing it up to his mouth. He smiles wickedly as TK frowns at the plate in disgust.

"You pig!" Buck laughs as he leads Abby towards the island, TK following suit. "You owe me another slice of cake."

"One is enough, fat ass." TK sticks his tongue out, watching as Abby moves around to eye the cake.

"Oh, god!"

Buck moves to her instantly, smiling down at the cake. "Yeah, it's gory,"

"Yeah, that's one thing to say about it." She glances up, finally picking up on TK's attire. "New York?"

"Ah, yes. Born and raised." He looks to Buck with, for the first time since he's showed up, an endearing smile. "Came to visit my older brother."

"Hey!" Athena comes moving around the three, smiling at Abby.

"Oh, hey!" Abby returns, greeting the off-duty officer with a shoulder pat. "Nice to see you."

"You too. How's your mom doing?"

"You know what? She's doing fine. Thank you. Thanks for asking."

"Hi!" Hen comes over with a mischievous smile thrown both at TK and Buck. "I'm Hen."

"Hi, Hen. I'm Abby."

"I work with your boy here. Glad to know you really exist. He takes about you all the time."

"You can say that again," TK mumbles to the amusement of the three ladies.

"Really?" Abby's looking to Buck and Buck is acting shy. Somebody check outside for flying pigs because TK's confident, cocky older brother is all flustered and actually seems a bit embarrassed.

"A little." Buck says, smiling at Abby. "A little bit."

"What about you, TK?" Hen looks at the younger one, also trying to get him flustered, but it seems today the roles are reversed. TK arches a cocky eyebrow at the paramedic. "Got any lucky ladies that you plan to bring around here the next time you visit?"

"Oh, my bat don't swing that way." Hen's eyebrows raise in surprise, turning back to Buck.

"I'm liking him more and more. Is there any possible way we can keep him and send you back to NY?"

"Oh, ha, ha." Buck rolls his eyes but, as usual, smiles fondly.

"So, uh, where is he taking you?" Hen asks, attention back on Abby. "For Valentine's Day tomorrow?"

The smile on TK's face falters and he instantly begins backing up, much to Buck's dismay. "Oh, well, look at that. The man of honor is missing, someone should go find him."

TK rushes off before the three ladies can question his actions and deep-down Buck is using every word ever known to curse that boy. He looks to Hen as she waits with an expecting gaze and Buck is back to being flustered again. "Oh, we, uh. . ."

"I don't know," Abby says with the shake of her head.

"We hadn't really, uh. . ."

"We don't have a plan."

"Yeah. You know, I mean, I have to work tomorrow and. . ."

"Your shift ends at two." Goddamn it, Hen. "So does mine. I'm going home to my wife."

Buck has no response as Hen gives him an expectant look before taking her plate of cake and walking away.

"Uh, well, we're just being casual." Abby offers, which Buck internally thanks her for. "It's no big deal. It's. . . It's just a day."

Yeah, to Buck, it is just a day. There's nothing special about Valentine's day. The one day to be all romantic doesn't mean everything bad in the world just stops for one day. Hell, the history of the day itself doesn't come without bloodshed.

"Yeah," Athena says, focusing on cutting into the cake but making it clear she's still paying attention to the conversation. "The only day he's obligated to show you a good time."

And why? Buck doesn't understand. Why is he obligated? Who made it a stupid rule to be obligated to show a loved one a good time on that one day? If you're in a relationship, you're already obligated to show your loved one a good time every day. It's the point of being in a relationship. It's literally what people vow to do when they get married. So, again, what's the point of one day?

"So, what are you doing for Valentine's Day?" Abby asks, moving the conversation off her and Buck. Buck studies her, and he's inwardly sighing. Abby isn't Selina and it's clear that Abby doesn't hold the same sentiment as she had. It's clear that if he wants to be with Abby, he might just have to. . . suck it up.

Athena scoffs like the question is absurd. "Me? Hell, I put in for an extra shift. I'm doing whatever I can to get my mind off romance for the night."

The audacity of her to hop on his case when she, too, is also avoiding the day. But Buck's also giving her his curious smile because, well, he's a nosy person and now he's intrigued to the reasoning behind that answer.

"So, where are you taking her?" Athena asks, attention back on Buck as Hen moves back over to his side. "And it better not be a salad bar."

"Whoa," Buck laughs nervously, mainly at the way Athena points the knife she's using to cut the cake. What a scary lady she can be sometimes. "You know, it'll be someplace, uh, really nice."

"Okay!" Abby says, a bigger smile on her face than there was before.

"Yeah?"

"Great, yeah."

"Cool." Damn, he's gonna have to make a few calls.

"It's getting kinda late for a rezzy." Hen gives him her usual eyebrow raise.

"Well, I know people." And he does. He gets around—not, like, sexually—but he does have likeable qualities and is very social. He was raised by a great man after all.

"Oh," Hen mockingly rolls her head, looking to Athena and Abby. Buck rolls his eyes at the action. "He _knows_ people. He knows people."

"Oh, yeah." Abby says in the same mocking gesture, with Athena humming along with them.

Where the hell is TK? He needs to come collect his new friend. "Goodbye, Hen. Goodbye, Hen."

And hallelujah.

Saved by his favorite bell.

Before leaving, he turns to Abby. "Um, tomorrow. How about 7?"

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Alright."

"Alright, see ya."

"Thanks, go."

Buck rushes off, and it's then that TK slinks back over to Athena and Abby. The two watch him in amusement as he leans on the counter, glancing back as if to make sure he wasn't being watched. He looks back to them, smiling suspiciously while looking like he's about to offer contraband.

"Alright, which one of you lovely ladies want to hear the embarrassing childhood stories?"

///////

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" Buck's nervous. Definitely nervous. Tremendously nervous. He hasn't done something like this in years. "I feel bad you and Chimney having to pull double shifts."

Bobby reaches from behind, helping to properly fix the tie around Buck's neck. "Aw, Chimney's so excited to be back, he'd work four shifts in a row if we asked him to. I already told Gardner I'd cover the first half of his day so he could spend it with his wife. So, I'm good. Alright, turn around."

Bobby moves his hands and Buck turns, facing the Captain anxiously. Bobby moves back to fixing his tie, Buck holding his head up expectantly. "What if I screw this up?"

"Screw it up? Well, my advice is don't."

"Uh, okay, what happens if we start having sex?" Buck's main problem. And he doesn't know how to stop. Hell, even his first long term relationship started out with having sex. How does he know now will be any different?

"Why would that happen?" You really wouldn't want to know, Bobby. You really wouldn't want to know.

"Cause that's what always happens, I'm a sex-addict."

"Self-diagnosed, yeah." In Buck's defense, it's a pretty reasonable diagnosis. "Listen, it's not uncommon for a guy to use quick, meaningless sex to avoid real intimacy." For a second, it seems as if Bobby can see right through Buck. That is, if by 'real intimacy' he means talking about things he's buried deep down. Or maybe that is intimacy. . .

"So, you're saying, you know, it might be okay to sleep with her just as long as I'm not a dick about it?"

"I didn't say that."

"No?"

"Is that what you think I said?" Buck smiles, scoffing as if he didn't do what Bobby is accusing him of, and Bobby is grinning right back in amusement. "That's not what I said. Why don't you try this? Why don't you try something new? Why don't you try, just once, getting to know her? Really getting to know her."

"Okay. . ." Buck croons, and Bobby watches skeptically as Buck mulls over it, opens his mouth, closes it, and then looks back at Bobby questioningly, to which Bobby sighs. "Okay, so I should. . . not sleep with her tonight?"

"Correct."

"Okay."

"You should not have sex with her tonight if you're really interested in her." And that's the one thing Buck has to figure out. Tonight. If he's really interested in her. If this isn't. . . a coping mechanism. "A woman like that deserves a little chivalry."

"Chivalry?" Buck nods. "Okay, I like that. You know, and. . . don't be a dick."

Bobby looks at him incredulously, trying to stop the smile from spreading on his face. "You know what, Buck, I think if you focus on the first part, the second part'll take care of itself. Geez."

Buck chuckles as he turns around once again, reaching for his dark blue jacket matching his suit. "Got it. I got it. Let me try on this jacket." He throws it around himself, putting his arms through the sleeves and eyeing himself in the mirror. Damn. . . he looks _good_. And then he's chuckling to himself again. He turns back to Bobby, big goofy smile on his face as he looks at the man he considers to be a father figure. "How do I look?"

"You look real handsome."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, good." Buck gives the jacket a nice tug, really feeling himself.

"Good luck."

"I don't want it," Buck says as he moves past Bobby.

"Good luck keeping it in your pants."

"No, I'm not. . ." Buck throws his head back in exasperation with a bright smile on his face. "Bobby!"

///////

"Think this'll work?" Buck's asking the waiter, pointing at the listed wine.

The man leans forward, pointing respectively to one lower down the list. "I'd actually recommend this one, sir. Full-bodied red. Pair nicely with both of your meals."

"Fantastic." Buck smiles gratefully because he doesn't know the first thing about wine. He's not a wine drinker, he's a beer drinker. "That's what we'll go with."

The man walks off, and Buck let's out a small chuckle-- more of a cough-- to clear his throat. He's looking at Abby, all dressed up and fancy, shoulders out, hair let loose in a way he hasn't seen before. She smiles cutely at him.

"HI." He clears his throat again because, really? Voice crack?

"You weren't kidding. You really do know people." She gazes around the fancy, quaint but quite expensive restaurant. Not exactly his taste, but hey, if it makes a girl happy. "I don't know how you got us in here."

"I, uh, I know the owner. Well, I-I met him, um. . ." Why is he so nervous? "We, uh. . . contained a noxious gas leak for them a couple weeks ago, so. . ."

Abby grimaces as she glances around once again. Wouldn't have guessed just from looking around. "Oh."

"Yeah, just try not to breathe much." He holds his nose and Abby smiles, bringing her hands up to cover her face, to which Buck smiles. "Yeah, do that." They both giggle, removing their hands as the waiter returns. "It's fine. Uh, he was really appreciative."

The waiter pours the wine into his glass and Buck smiles gratefully, for both the wine and the distraction. "Thank you very much." He brings the glass up to his lips, downing the liquid in one sitting. He glances at Abby with a small smile, then at—Oh. The waiter was still there, well, waiting expectantly. He holds the bottle, offering more. "Uh, yeah, sure." Buck laughs, feeling warm under the stares. "Tastes like wine to me."

Abby thanks him as he pours her glass and then continues to fill Buck's. And he needs a distraction because his stomach is knotting and he's feeling very uncomfortable and he can't figure out why. He rubs his hands along his pants—why is he so sweaty? He looks around and—bread! Yes, bread! He points at the food.

"Uh, you want some bread?"

"Oh, no thanks."

Fine by him. "Mind if I?"

"Oh, please. Go ahead."

There's a pang in his chest, making his eyes go wide for a second and his breath hitches slightly and his stomach furls and unfurls and he fumbles slightly with the knife as he grabs a slice and cuts a small piece of butter to spread on top of it.

 _Man, she's pretty. Her hair's amazing. Look like that before?_ One glance at her, and he's loving the way her striking orange hair brings out the hazel in her— _Buck, stop. Remember you're not sleeping with her._

He's tearing his eyes off of her, focusing more on the very serious task of spreading butter among the bread. Thoroughly spread, he sets down the knife in satisfaction, taking a large bite and swallowing after just a few chews.

There's that spike in his chest again, filling him with anxiety and a bit of pain, that has him coughing as he raises his glass with Abby.

"Cheers," she's saying as he turns to cough into his fist. "And thank you. And happy Valentine's Day."

Another cough. "Cheers."

And another.

Abby chuckles as he leans back with a pained smile, hand to his chest as if it'll soothe the growing discomfort. "Are you finished chewing?"

He hums, half as an answer and half as a way to keep the cough from coming out once again. But it's forcing its way through his lips, and he's frowning in annoyance, anger, and now mild pain.

_Be cool. We're not choking in front of her._

His stomach furls and unfurls. His torso spikes with increasing anxiety that has his eyes widening in fear and his breath hitching which leads him to the growing pain in his chest and soreness in his throat as the hacking becomes more frequent and louder.

"Are you okay?"

"Ye-ah." He reaches for his glass, downing some water.

"Oh, God. Oh, God. Wait. Don't drink, cause you could. . ." There a painful twist in his chest, that moves up in his throat and Abby's right with the wording. Oh, God. Why? That's repeating through his mind as the water comes back up, pooling over his lips and spilling into his lap as his hacking continues.

Abby's up with worry and concern, moving behind him to smack at his back and honestly? Not helping. Just adding to his list of discomfort and pain. Of course, he can't tell her that because he's clutching at his throat in agony and wondering what he did to deserve this.

"Do you know the Heimlich Maneuver?" Abby's asking, most likely whoever came over to Buck's aid. He could only catch a glance of the waiter's outfit.

"I do. Get him up." And now he's on his feet and hunched over because as if choking isn't enough, he feels like there's this invisible force reaching a hand into his stomach and twisting his insides.

"He's not breathing." Abby says and, huh, he really isn't. He didn't notice but now that it's been mentioned, his chest is constricting from the lack of oxygen and he feels so light and the voices are floating away.

He's sinking. Deep down. Everything's getting quieter and he feels so light, yet it feels like he's sinking under water. And he lets go because it's so calming.

No anxiety.

No noise.

No pain.

Peace.

And in his last thoughts, right before he lets unconsciousness drag him into the depths of darkness, he thinks about that feeling of stress and dread. He knew it would finally catch up to him.

And no surprise, it had to happen on Valentine's Day.

Fuck.

///////

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

///////

_"Daniel!" A twenty-year-old Maddy calls through the house, jumping in fright when he seemingly appears out of nowhere right next to her, though she should've noticed that he was in the room next to her._

_He brings a hand up to caress her cheek, and she stills, bringing the seven-year-old boy at her waist closer to her. "Now, Madeline. What have I told you about calling me by name?"_

_"My apologizes, dad." Maddy gives him a tight-lipped smile. "I'm taking Buck to the park."_

_Daniel looks down in disgust at the little boy and back up at his daughter. "Be back before midnight."_

_He moves off towards the kitchen, most likely to grab a beer. Maddie breathes a sigh of relief, looking down at the sweet little boy hiding by her thighs. She glances back once more before deciding to leave before Daniel can come back._

_"Come on, Buck," the boy in question smiles happily. "Let's go play."_

_*****_

_"Hello!"_

_Buck startles, eyes wide as he turns to look at the little boy in surprise. "Um, hi."_

_"Do you know what today is?"_

_Buck furrows his eyebrows, cocking his tiny head and thinking for a second. "Uh, Tuesday?"_

_"No, silly!" the boy holds out a little pink card, a lollipop attached to the end. "Happy Valentine's Day!"_

_Buck takes the card, looking down at the typing. **HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! -Sam**_

_"Uh. . . thanks?"_

_"In case you didn't know, I'm Sam." Sam sits down on the bench with Buck, scooting close. "I saw you were alone, and no one should be alone on Valentine's Day."_

_"Why?"_

_"Why!?" Sam guffaws, looking at Buck as if he'd grown a second head. "WHY!? Because it's a day you cherish those you love around you."_

_"Oh. . ." Buck looks down at his feet. "I don't really have love ones around that much."_

_"What do you mean you don't have loved ones?"_

_"Well," Buck sighs, looking back up at Sam's innocent, hazel eyes. "My mom doesn't live with us, she lives in New York with Owen and my brother, TK. And my sister, Maddie, she lives on her own because she's grown. And my father. . . he doesn't really like me. So, yeah, no love ones around that much."_

_"Well, um. . ." Sam looks at him expectantly, questioning with just his eyes without saying anything._

_"Buck. . . my name is Buck."_

_"Well, Buck," Sam scoots closer, bumping shoulders with him. "I'll be your loved one. I don't plan to go anywhere."_

_*****_

_One decade. Today is their decade anniversary of their friendship. And Buck feels nothing but guilt because that's all it should be. A friendship. But months ago, he slept with an older woman and envisioned her as his best friend._

_He's closing his locker, head resting against the cool surface as he breathes deeply._

_"Hello."_

_And Buck doesn't know what it is, but Sam takes pleasure in doing it every year because every time Buck is jumping in pure fright. One of these days, he's going to find out how the boy manages to be so quiet._

_"Sam, one of these days you're gonna get punched in the nose," Buck says, hand against his racing heart. "And that'll be the day you stop giving me a goddamn heart attack."_

_"Yeah, right." Sam smiles brightly, gesturing to his face. "This is a face too pretty to punch."_

_Buck nods mockingly. "Oh, of course. Keep telling yourself that."_

_"Jealous."_

_"Of the grumpy old troll that lives under the bridge? Never."_

_Sam shoves at his shoulder, rolling his eyes before grabbing Buck's wrist and leading him through the sea of students getting ready to leave school. "Let's go!"_

_"Go where?" Buck asks though he still lets Sam drag him through the hallway and towards the exit leading to student parking._

_"Got your license?"_

_"Yeah, why?"_

_Sam smiles brightly, continuing to drag Buck through rows of cars before stopping at Sam's usual parking space. However, instead of Sam's corvette, there's a jeep in the spot. Buck's eyes widen comically as Sam holds up the keys, spinning them on his finger._

_"Happy Valentine's Day, Buck!" Sam tosses the keys, which Buck catches with ease. He holds his phone up to his mouth, pretending to be a grand announcer. "Say hello to your brand new 2008 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited!"_

_Buck opens and closes his mouth, eyes moving from the jeep to the keys to Sam. "You're kidding."_

_"No sir, I am not." Sam is prepared when Buck tackles him into a hug, a few tears sliding down his cheek. He knew Buck's father would never get him one, and there's no need for Buck to continue riding the bus when he has his license. All he needed was a car. "Now, come on. We must celebrate!"_

_*****_

_"I came out to my dad this morning."_

_Buck splutters, looking at Sam with wide eyes. His hands grip the wheel tightly. "What?"_

_"I came out."_

_"You. . . came out?"_

_"To my dad."_

_"I. . . when. . ." Buck looks back and forth from the dark road illuminated by his headlights to Sam's calculating gaze._

_"It's just, I couldn't keep it in anymore." Sam nods, looking out at the road. "I think I've fallen in love with someone."_

_He looks back at Buck with the same calculating gaze. "I met him on Valentine's day in 1999. He can be quite an airhead, but it's actually quite endearing. I take much pleasure in scaring him half to death. Gave him a jeep."_

_Buck swallows, opening and closing his mouth. "I've had such a big crush on you for the past three years."_

_"So why didn't you say anything?"_

_"Because I didn't know you were gay! I wasn't about to risk the best thing that ever happened to me."_

_"What about now?" Sam rests his hand over the hand Buck has resting on the console in between them. "Willing to take a risk?"_

_Buck cuts another glance to Sam and—_

_"Don't look at me like that."_

_Sam smiles innocently. "Oh. Why?"_

_"Keep it up and we won't make it home on time."_

_Sam's smile grows impossibly wider and he looks out the window, pointing at another car up ahead. "Hey, slow down. Are they okay?"_

_Buck slows down and both look out the window to see a white SUV parked along the side of the road, two women out in front of it. He pulls the jeep to the side._

_"We will continue this conversation later," Buck states and Sam smiles as he climbs out._

_"I'm holding you to it, Buckley." They both make their way towards the women, friendly smiles on their faces. "Hey! Do you need any help?"_

_"The stupid car broke down!" One frantic girl speaks up, mascara staining her cheeks. She kicks at the wheel. "This is why I hate Valentine's Day. Nothing can ever go right!"_

_"That can't be true," Buck's trying, but she looks at him in exasperation._

_"But it is. All my Valentine's Day's have been absolute shit. This time is no different. First, my date stands me up and now we get stranded in the middle of nowhere! This day couldn't get any worse." She sighs, looking at her friend. "We're lucky these guys showed up. Barely anybody comes down these streets."_

_Buck looks down the road, spotting headlights in the distance getting larger. "That's not true, somebody else is heading this way. Maybe they'll stop to help us out, too."_

_Sam moves forward, gesturing towards the car. "Do you mind if I check out the engine? I take automotive classes, maybe I can help."_

_The girl nods gratefully. "Please? We'll take any help we can get."_

_Sam moves forward, glancing back at Buck. "Hey, can you get my bag of tools? It's in the backseat."_

_"Yeah," Buck jogs back the jeep, opening the door and moving inside because the bag is all the way on the other end and he doesn't feel like jogging around to the other side to grab it._

_He grabs the bag and he doesn't have time to fully register the sound of squealing tires before a force is ramming into the back of the jeep, sending it rolling across the street and colliding with a tree. His head is hitting the glass and he's slumping against the seat, thinking back to the girl's words._

_This day couldn't get any worse._

_It just did._

///////

When Buck opens his eyes, it's no longer dark and there's no plume of spoke from the Jeep colliding into the tree. There's this saying he's heard, that when one wakes up from a dream or nightmare that the feeling still lingers. That's how Buck feels; empty. He feels so much that he can't feel anything at all and his mind is blank as he processes that he's been in a car wreck, but he's not in a car wreck.

He's in a restaurant. And there's Abby hanging over him. Abby? Abby! And his eyes widen as it all comes back to him. The bread. The coughing. The pain. The unconsciousness. Now, it's all gone. Save the pain.

There's a discomfort in his neck the moment he swallows and it results in spikes of anxiety through him again. He's reaching up his hands, mainly to try to get a feel of his neck, but Abby's grabbing his hand and honestly, it's more comforting. He's smart enough to remain still, and after moments of thinking he's realizing she's cut his neck open to keep his airway clear.

Happy Valentine's Day to him.

*****

"This is not how I wanted things to go."

"Well, we're doing it now because he can't exactly go anywhere."

Buck opens his eyes to a hospital room, TK and his mom both deep in conversation. At the sound of his groan, both snap their attention to Buck, moving to his side.

"Hey, sweetie." Gwenyth takes a hold of his hand. "How are you?"

"As good as I can be after choking on my date—" TK snorts, to which Buck furrows his eyebrows in confusion before twisting it into disgust and hitting his shoulder. "Nasty."

"Hey, your words, not mine."

"Boys," they both look to Gwenyth. "I want us to be okay. If you'll let me, I just want to be part of your life again."

TK looks to Buck, and Buck sighs guiltily. "Mom, it's been ten years. That's ten years that I'm used to not having my mom around." She frowns but watches closely as Buck cups her hands with his. "That doesn't mean I don't want my mom around. I need my mom in my life. So, I'm willing if you are, to rebuild those ten years with you."

Gwenyth smiles, bending down to wrap her arms around him, TK doing the same. And they stay like that for a while, finding comfort in each other's embrace.

His mom is back.

///////

_Buck groans, stumbling a bit as he backs out of the car and rolls onto the grass. He stands on shaky legs, pressing his fingers gently to his tender head and removing them, catching a glimpse of crimson on his fingers._

_Smoke rises from the engine of his now totaled Jeep and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. What happened? Buck was reaching for the bag of tools and then something. . . oh._

_Buck looks and the tree on the other side of the road he had originally parked by had a new red truck wrapped around its base. The truck was turned over, looking worse than Buck's jeep. And then his eyes move to the white truck where people had been originally standing._

_The spot where no one stands now._

_"Sam?" Buck rushes to the side of the road looking and spotting. . . three, four. Why are there so many bodies? "Sam!" He's running towards the direction of the red truck when a person stands, wobbling for a second before beginning to walk down the road. "Sam?"_

_It's not Sam._

_"Hey, are you okay?"_

_Buck can't see his face, but the person turns giving Buck two thumbs up, something that doesn't sit well with the seventeen-year-old. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."_

_The boy, who appears to be no older than Buck, continues to mumble that as he continues his walk down the road. Buck continues his search, stopping cold when he comes to a ditch, finding a body laying eerily still, limbs turned in the wrong direction._

_"Sam?" Buck rushes forward, kneeling down and instantly beginning CPR. "Sam, stay with me. We still have a fucking conversation to finish."_

_Chest compression after chest compression after chest compression. Buck never stopped even though his efforts were futile. As he'll learn later, Sam was long gone before Buck found him, before Buck got out of his wrecked Jeep, before the red truck could ram into the rear of the Jeep. He'll learn that the boy who walked away from the wreck, found with three times the legal alcohol limit for adults three hours **after** the wreck, was going sixty-eight when he plowed through Sam and the two girls before his truck flipped, sending the passengers inside flying, which explain the numerous bodies._

_And the one thing he'll learn that will anger him the most. The boy will get away with it. Diagnosed with some bullshit disease, run away from the law before getting caught, only to be released after two years jail time._

_Buck will be alive._

_Sam will be dead._

_And his Valentine's Day will forever bring dread._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just straight angst. Before I wrote it out, just planning the overall theme of this chapter I knew it was gonna be angsty because I didn't like how the writers just breezed over Buck's hatred for valentine's day. No explanation. Just a "I hate Valentine's Day". And I just originally had Sam's death planned out but after remembering about Buck's hatred for the day I made a few tweaks in my overall story, something I realize I'm doing with every chapter I've written so far. It's part of the reason it took me so long to post because I stopped, and re-watched the entirety of both shows to make some changes.
> 
> I originally had Sam's death planned as a suicide, but then I thought, Sam wouldn't do that. I had Sam as this confident, friendly guy who loved life so instead of Buck being devastated by Sam taking his own life and him coming to the realization that Sam was gay, I decided to have it where Sam comes clean to Buck before being taken from the world too soon, leading to Buck's devastation. And I was just thinking so much about this chapter that I wanted to just have details here and there that explain more than just Buck's hatred for Valentine's Day. As for the car accident, I don't what made me think of Ethan, he just came to mind and the anger I felt just felt right for Buck's hatred. Cause now, he isn't just angry that Sam died on Valentine's Day, he's angry because Sam died and there wasn't any true justice for his death.
> 
> Just my little tidbit about the chapter. I hope everyone is enjoying the story and staying safe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a shorter chapter than usual (sorry!). But guys, first thing, that flipping finale. Loved it! It tickled me a little when Buck asked Abby the name of her fiancé and it turned out to be Sam (I mean, come on, of all the names. It just made me smile because great minds really do think alike, jk, Sam is a common name). And Eddie's frustration with Buck, I'm sooooooo using that as jealousy when I eventually get to those chapters because I can't see it any other way. And you know, I was most certainly scoffing at Abby's reasoning for not coming back but, I'm glad Buck finally got the closure he needed (so he can finally move on with Eddie!).
> 
> Reviewing the chapter, I didn't really see anything that I thought needed to be warned, I mean there's a somewhat death but no one actually dies in this chapter, the tone is really light for the most part. As usual, let me know if there's anything you think I should warn for and I will make the changes.
> 
> This chapter was originally going to be longer, with the combining of episodes, but with the last chapter I thought I'd give you guys a break on the heavy angst and just keep things light for this one. Hope you guys are still enjoying and staying safe!

He creeps quietly, heart thumping in his chest as he turns the corner. He’s so freaked out that when he turns all he registers is the eyes maniacally wide and the sinister smile before he’s bringing his fist around and connecting it to solid form.

“Ow, what—” TK stumbles back in surprise, gripping his cheek tenderly. “Buck, what the hell was that for!?”

“You were following me, you’re lucky I didn’t call Athena!”

“Mom! He hit me.”

Gwenyth shakes her head, cupping TK’s chin and pulling him closer to assess the damage. “I’m not the one who decided to feel the need to scare a sibling because quote, it’s the night of a full moon, unquote. Makes no sense anyways, the sun isn’t even close to setting yet.”

“That doesn’t matter,” TK guffaws, gesturing to his older brother. “Spend the day with him before he’s got to go to work and how does he repay me? By trying to rearrange my face!”

Buck rolls his eyes, gesturing to the firehouse just a few ways down the road. “You’ll live.” And more quietly under his breath, “Drama queen.”

“And then has the audacity to insult me!”

“Well, enjoy work, try to stay safe.” His mom loops her arm with TK. “I’ll take the little one for some ice cream.”

TK gives her puppy dog eyes. “Chunky monkey?”

“The chunkiest.” TK smiles, sticking a tongue out as Buck grimaces, muttering a “weirdo” before continuing to the firehouse. “Well, Buck, we’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”

_ Love you. _

It shouldn’t be a big deal. He loves her, too. But there’s some part deep down that seems scared to say it back, and he finds himself turning with a small smile. “You too, mom.”

///////

“Buckley to Captain Nash. Permission to point out how coincidental it is that I get sent to the same carnival I just spent half my day at?”

_ “Why ask permission if you were just going to point it out anyways? Hurry up and stop annoying me over the radio.” _

“You’re right, what was I thinking? Let me get this done so I can annoy you in person.”

_ “. . . You really are a headache.” _

“Love you too, Bobby.”

///////

Buck weaves his way through the crowd of people, power drill in hand as he approaches the claw machine games lined along the back wall. The people surrounding the machine, all staring at the one on the end of the line, part respectively as Buck makes his way through.

“Alright, folks, coming through! Excuse me, please!” He stops right next to the worried mother, dropping his bag and giving her a warm smile. “Hey.”

“Hi.” She says with a big smile and hip jutted outward, her actions—clearly that of a single mother because Buck isn’t as oblivious as people think he is—going unnoticed by the very handsome firefighter.

He’s too busy leaning his forehead against the glass, smile brighter for the little lady trapped inside the claw machine. She seems to range from four to six, and she clutches a small plush toy to her chest guiltily. And it’s the most adorable thing and Buck can honestly relate because he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been tempted to just screw all and climb inside the machine when he was younger as well. 

He gets this sparkle in his eyes and his personality just seems even more bubbly because he loves children. Always has, even when he was a kid himself. It’s half the reason why he’s close to TK.

“Hi,” Buck coos, earning a bright smile in return. “What you doing there? I’m gonna have to take you out if that’s okay with you.” She nods with a cheeky grin. “Alright. You’ll be fine.”

He moves to the side, making quick work on the screws. The little girl giggles away, and it’s almost like a disease the moment Buck looks over because he can’t stop the silly grin breaking out on his face. God, does he love children. Little bundles of joys. He’s sucking in a breath, setting the drill down to focus on the child in front of him rather than the one that got away.

He pulls open the door, arms open invitingly and friendly grin on his face. “Hi.” The little girl smiles, setting down the plush and moving right over to Buck and lord, what is it about children that just makes Buck the cheesiest, smiley person in the world? “You ready? Yeah?”

He lifts her up and out, careful of her head as the people around them clap. She wraps her tiny arms around his neck, and nobody has to know about the slight pain of giving someone’s child back to them that spreads throughout him.

Damn, he misses the one thing he never had.

“Thank you,” the woman says as she takes her daughter back gratefully. “I can’t believe they didn’t have the keys to this.”

“Don’t worry, it’s uh. . .” Buck reaches inside, grabbing the plush cow that was in her hands. “It’s one of those nights. Here.” She looks down at the cow and then at Buck with a shy smile. “Congratulations, you win a moo-moo.”

The little girl hugs it tightly, beady eyes saying everything that she doesn’t quite know how to say. She nods and Buck’s face might split if he tries to smile even wider than he already is. He closes the door, nodding to the mother and daughter one last time before leaving the arcade and walking along the pier, phone in hand because he’s just in the brightest of moods.

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”  _ Baby fever. A very, very strong case of baby fever. But Buck’s not saying that, instead he’s howling into the phone the moment Abby finishes her sentence. _“You are such a dork. A **cute** dork, but you’re a dork.”_

“A cute dork?” His macho manliness has taken a hit, but he’s still smiling either way. “Okay, I’ll take that.”

_ “How are you? How you feeling? How’s your first day back?” _

“I feel great. No pain, minor discomfort but, uh. . . don’t you worry. I have someone monitoring my bread intake.”

An annoying someone. A puppy dog eyed, thorn in his side. TK likes to joke about it whenever he can, but he still subconsciously steers Buck away from bread related foods. 

_ “That’s a relief. So, when are we gonna do this again? I mean, dinner not the. . . tracheotomy.” _

“I don’t know.” He honestly doesn’t know if he even wants to go on another date. Not that he doesn’t like Abby, but there’s something about dinner dates that he finds unnatural, unromantic. “I have a run of shifts but I will check the schedule. So, are you buckling in?”

_ “Am I buckling in?” _

“Yeah, full moon.” Him and TK have always had this thing about the nights of the full moon. Hell, one night with TK, not only was the moon full but yellow and seemed three times larger than its normal size. And so much crazy stuff went down that night. “It’s gonna get bumpy.”

_ “No. I do not buy into all that full moon bs.” _

“Buy into? No, no, no. It is science, y’know. Every full moon, the freaks come out. Crime increases, emergency rooms are packed, animals and kids go nuts.”

_ “In my experience, anyone who’s gonna be an idiot on the full moon is gonna be an idiot on the half moon. Or the quarter moon. Or the no moon. There is no such physical evidence that any crime or accidents or general freakiness increases during the full moon.” _

“Abby, I just pulled a kid out of one of those stuffed animal arcade games.”

_ “I know, but that would’ve happened whether it was a full moon or not.” _

Buck hums in disagreement. “You don’t know that.”

_ “I **do** know that. How many full moons have you worked?” _

“Um. . .” Buck smiles sheepishly, even if Abby can’t see it. “One.”

_ “Right. Bye, Buck.” _

“Wait, hold on! Hold on.” Buck laughs earnestly. “Freaks come out. Now you call me when the night’s over, okay?”

He lets out one more howl as Abby chuckles on her end, cooing into the phone. _“Bye, Buck. Bye.”_

///////

_ “The freaks come out at night. . . the freaks come out at niiiiiiight—” _

_ “What the hell are you doing?” _

_ “I’m singing, Buck. Is that so wrong?” _

_ “Does it look like I care about the singing? I’m talking about you gyrating on a goddamn light pole.” _

_ TK climbs down sheepishly, smoothing out his clothing. “I got a little carried away.” _

_ Buck scoffs. “A little.” The two were celebrating Buck’s birthday by exploring New York, not going past the limit Gwenyth gave them before they left. They were heading back home anyways, when Buck turns, bumping into a man in rags. He’s got stubble on his face and striking grey eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry.” _

_ “It’s fine,” the man says, looking to and fro suspiciously before leaning closer to him. “Know anywhere I can grab a bite to eat?” _

_ “There’s a McDonald’s just a few ways back,” TK says, pointing in the direction the two were just coming from. “Can’t miss it, it’s the brightest thing on that street.” _

_ The man smiles friendly. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” _

_ He hurries off and Buck pulls TK a little closer. “Are you crazy!?” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Aren’t you the one who was just singing about how the freaks come out at night?” _

_ “He looked friendly.” _

_ “And broke,” Buck shakes his head. “You’re supposed to direct him to a shelter home, not an establishment that will expect him to pay for his food.” _

_ TK grimaces but there’s nothing more the two can do. So, they continue their walk, going a little ways before blue and red begin to light up the night, growing brighter. The cruiser slows to a stop next to them and an officer steps out of the passenger side, holding up a photo. _

_ “Have either of you seen this man?” Buck’s eyes widen. The man may be clean shaven, and just a little bit thicker, but there’s no mistaking those striking grey eyes. “He’s a prison escapee, not armed but still considered to be highly dangerous.” _

_ TK grimaces, pointing down the street. “He may or may not be at the McDonald’s a few blocks down.” _

_ The officer nods, climbing back into his cruiser before it speeds off, leaving the two teens shaken. Buck raises an eyebrow at TK, and TK grinds his shoe against the ground. _

///////

“It’s a fact,” Buck is saying while grabbing the stretcher and following behind Bobby, who rolls his eyes in disbelief. “Gravity is heavier during the full moon. Scientists have proven it.”

“You read this in a peer reviewed scientific publication?”

Bobby gives Buck a smug look, and Buck shrugs. “Uh, I don’t know. Is the internet considered a scientific publication?”

“Buck, the idea that the moon causes odd behavior and happenings goes back to the first century. It’s folk lore, magical thinking.”

The two take the elevator to the top floor of the building, where a brunette woman is waiting anxiously. She jumps the moment she sees the two of them.

“Hey, she’s this way.” She leads them to the room at the end of the hall. “Jackie’s six months pregnant. She’s new. This class is only opened to moms who’re at least twenty-six weeks. I warn them about over-exerting themselves. . . and behold! The salabhasana.”

Buck follows Bobby inside the yoga studio, eyebrows raising at the sight of a pregnant woman stuck in a position with both her arms resting against the floor behind her, her calf resting against the floor and other leg raised in the air. The other women surround her in worry.

“Locust pose,” Buck states, remembering a very enthusiastic woman coaxing him into the position. It was quite the struggle but very relaxing once he got it. Bobby looks at him questioningly and he shrugs. “I dated, like, fifty yoga instructors.”

He follows behind Bobby as he waves his arms outward towards the other women. “Alright, could you guys please clear out so we can get in there?”

“Ladies, back to your mats!” the instructor is stating, and the women hobble—because that’s what it looks like to Buck—back to their respective spots around the room, eyes trained on the firemen.

“I can’t move,” Jackie says, her cheek resting against her mat. “Everything hurts. The baby. . . is he okay?”

“Okay, we’re gonna check your baby right now, okay?” Bobby reaches under, feeling along her stomach. “I’m gonna touch you right here on your stomach. . . Okay, there’s no trauma to the abdomen.”

“Vitals sound normal,” Buck responds as he moves the stethoscope along her back. “Fetal heartbeat’s normal.”

“Okay, good.”

“Is the baby okay!?”

“The baby is fine.”

“Oh, it’s not mine.” Oh. “I’m a surrogate.”

“Listen, can you tell me where you’re feeling your pain?” Bobby asks while Buck begins pulling on latex. “Is it your back? Your arm? Your legs?”

“Arms and legs, but it’s the worst in my butt and. . . in my thigh and calf.”

“Okay, I think you slipped a disk.” Bobby looks up to Buck expectantly. “We’re gonna need to get her on her side.” Bobby and Buck move into position. “Okay, very carefully, support her head. This way, towards you guys. Okay, very gently.”

Buck and the instructor are being as gentle as possible, but that doesn’t stop Jackie from crying out in—wait, no. Buck glances off to the side, where another woman is on her hands and knees, breathing out in pain. Bobby gestures to her.

“Alright, I’m gonna take care of that, you take care of this.”

Bobby rushes over, and Buck continues coaxing the woman, getting her completely on her side. The instructor rushes off when Bobby’s asking for a bottle of water, and Buck’s administering an anesthetic when he hears a splash of water.

When he looks up, though, it’s not at Bobby but a woman standing over a puddle of water tinted red. _Jesus. . ._

“Oh my God.” You got that right lady. Buck’s grimacing at her, the woman lying in front of him, and the one with Bobby. “My water broke.”

“Buck.”

“Yeah, I’m on it.” He’s grabbing his radio, moving to over to the woman. “Dispatch, requesting additional paramedics. 232 Hope. Possible spinal discarnation, need transport to hospital immediately.”

“It’s coming,” the woman says as she’s helped into a sitting position, kicking off her pants. “It’s coming now.”

“Yeah, you just started contractions, it’s okay.”

“No, this is my fourth kid. It’s coming.”

“Uh. . .” Buck is so not prepared for this. This is not his usual job. Where the hell is Chim and Hen when he needs them. “Okay! I need towels! I need towels!”

Buck’s stressing out now and growing anxious. So, he’s jumping in slight fright when yet _another_ woman is groaning in pain, clutching at her stomach. Oh god. . .

“Oh no, no, no, not now.” She’s saying, rolling off her knees and into a seated position. _Yes, please listen to your mother. Please._

Fuck. 

Shit.

For crying out—

“Serious!? Another—” he looks to Bobby incredulously. “Bobby, I’ve never done this before!”

“It’s okay,” like hell it is, “I will talk you through it.”

“They say when a full moon’s halfway between the eastern horizon at it’s highest point it can induce labor.” The instructor grimaces at the groaning women. “I knew I should’ve cancelled this class.”

And Buck’s gesturing dramatically and the many occupants. “Just saying, I did tell you.”

“Okay, we can discuss the moon later, Buck!”

///////

_ “Holy shit!” TK exclaims, bringing an arm up to cover his face as he and Buck stare in astonishment up at the run-down shed going up in flames. “Should we call 9-1-1?” _

_ Buck looks at TK incredulously. “Are you kidding? Look how big these flames are. This fire has been going on for a bit. If anything, we should go before they get here and suspect us of arson.” _

_ The two continue moving past the old shed at a running pace, not stopping until they were a good ways away. They slow down, and TK begins hitting Buck in the arm. _

_ “I think we should really call 9-1-1 now.” _

_ “Why? They’re probably already at the fire.” _

_ “No, I mean that!” Buck looks to where TK points, spotting the legs first and eyes travelling up to the rest of the body. _

_ “What the—” Buck moves quickly, fingers resting against the man’s neck. “No pulse.” He looks up at a worried TK. “Call 9-1-1.” _

_ ***** _

_ “What the actual fuck.” _

_ TK and Buck stare astonished as the firemen help the man to his feet and he dusts himself off, following the paramedics into the ambulance. Another firefighter approaches the two boys. _

_ “He was dead,” Buck rudely points as the ambulance doors close and it drives off. “He was **dead**.” _

_ “According to him, he just fell asleep.” The fireman replies, shaking his head. “We found it strange, too. Didn’t get a pulse either. But before we had the chance to use the defibrillator, he just. . . woke up.” _

_ TK rubs at his eyes, looking from the retreating ambulance to the spot the man was just at. “I understand what people mean when they say, ‘I need a drink’.” _

_ The fireman laughs, gesturing to the engine. “Aren’t you Owen’s kids? I can give you guys a lift home. You shouldn’t be out on the streets at this time. And with the moon full, crazy amplifies by one hundred.” _

_ “You can say that again,” Buck mumbles, pulling on TK’s arm. “Come on, I was getting tired of walking anyways.” _

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “Please send someone! There’s something inside of me!” _

_ “I’m sorry, did you say there’s something inside you!?” _

_ “. . . Connor? Connor open the door. Let me in.” “Absolutely not! Go away!” _

_ “Sir, are you in danger? Is there someone trying to get into your house?” _

_ “No, I- there’s something inside of me! I can feel it.” _

_ “Sir, what is your address please?” _

_ “Oh god. . . I can feel it moving! What is happening!?” _

_ “What is your address, sir? I need your address.” _

_ “What is happening? There’s a monster inside of me!” _

///////

“Oh, thank god.” The dark-haired man leaning against the door frame gives a look of relief when he sees Bobby and Buck enter the room, knocking on the door to the bathroom. “Connor? 9-1-1’s here. Open the door now.”

“Alright, step aside, sir.” Bobby moves forward. “Connor? Los Angeles Fire Department, we can’t help you if you don’t open the door.” They wait a second, the only response from Connor being a whimper. “Connor, I don’t wanna have to break this door down.”

The door clicks and Bobby and Buck move in quickly as Connor shuffles back against the tub, face contorted in pain.

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling?” Bobby asks as he stands in front of the brunette man, Buck moving to his side. 

“Something’s happening. It’s like. . . it’s like the worst cramping pressure that I’ve ever experienced. It’s like I’m gonna give birth or something.”

“Stop it.” Buck raises an eyebrow to Connor’s boyfriend in curiosity and confusion. “We had sushi tonight. He always orders the omakase, but he can’t handle anyone telling what to do so he orders more. You just have an upset stomach.”

“If you tell me I just have a stomachache one more time I’m gonna stab you with your toothbrush.” Wow. Aggressive much. “I swear, I felt it moving, ok? I felt something moving.”

“How long you’ve been having the cramps?”

“Uh, about a week. Yeah, I made a doctor’s appointment for Friday.”

“Any other symptoms?”

Connor shakes his head. “No.”

“He’s been having a _lot_ of gas.”

“Shut up!”

Buck decides then and there that these two are quite the entertainment. Comfortable around each other and among others, Buck wished that could be him. But. . . men aren’t his cup of tea, not anymore.

“You have. It kinda builds like an overture and then there’s a. . . little tuba solo.” Oh yes, definitely entertaining. He’ll have a good laugh about this later with TK. “It’s a tremendous amount of horrible flatulence.”

“Paul.” If looks could kill, Paul would three times over dead.

“Okay, just lean back, let me have a look.” Buck can hear in Bobby’s underlying tone a strong urge to laugh as Connor pulls back his robe so Bobby can feel along his abdomen. 

“You guys eat a lot of sushi?” Buck’s never been a sushi fan. Then again, he’s never eaten sushi before, no matter how much TK tries to force him to.

“He does,” Paul responds, grimacing at Connor’s glare. “Four or five times a week.”

“I try to go carbon fat-free as often as possible,” Connor explains, rolling his eyes at Paul and swallowing another groan of pain.

“Same here,” Buck says, leaning more towards the brunette. He’s got a friendly smile on his face, as if he were having a casual conversation with two new companions instead sitting in a bathroom and checking for problems with a guy’s intestines. “You guys ever try a brown rice pasta? Y’know, it’s not that bad.”

Connor nods thoughtfully, and for a second it seems as though he’s forgotten his pain. “Y’know, it’s a little gummy for my taste.”

“Yeah, I see that.” The two nod, oblivious to the judgmental looks of Bobby and Paul. 

“Hey, what’s your body fat percentage?”

“I swing between like fifteen and—”

“Okay, can we finish the most interesting conversation of all time later?” Bobby gives Buck a pointed look, and he nods solemnly like a chastised child.

Connor grunts and Bobby adds pressure. “Does this hurt? Does that feel tender?”

“No.”

“What about your bowel movements? Any diarrhea?”

“No.”

“Yes!” Buck looks back at Paul in confusion yet again. He honestly forgot the man was there for a second. “Why would you lie to him about that? He’s trying to help you.”

“Okay! Sorry.” Connor looks back at Bobby sheepishly and honestly Buck can’t blame him. “Yes.”

“He has poop shame.”

If laughing weren’t inappropriate in these situations, Buck would have been rolling at these two. Arguing like a married couple, that’s something he wishes he had.

“Okay,” Bobby says, pulling out the stethoscope. “Just take a deep breath, okay. Relax. Take a deep breath.”

“Oh my god, no no no!” Conner leans forward, clutching at his stomach and shaking his head. “I’m gonna burst! I’m gonna explode!”

Bobby nods at Buck, putting the stethoscope back. “Let’s get him in the ambulance, right now.”

*****

He doesn’t know why, but the universe is just playing one big cruel joke on him. For some reason, it wants to remind him that he is childless, utterly single (sort of), and living a lie. Connor and Paul are just a painful reminder of something Buck desperately wanted (and still subconsciously wants, no matter how hard he tries to denies his true feelings), the pregnant woman a painful reminder of the relationship he lost, and the little girl a sorrowing reminder of the daughter he can’t have.

So, really Buck has been shoving emotions back all night and like poor Connor, he’s going to eventually explode. Only difference is an emotional breakdown isn’t a wriggling creature.

“What the hell is that!?” Paul is frowning in disgust as the worm wiggles around from just under Connor’s shorts.

Buck’s smiling, partly in gratitude for the distraction and partly because he has this weird fascination with nature and all things earth. It’s part of the reason he moved to South America, to explore the wonders of the rainforest. “That is a tapeworm.”

“Tapeworm! I have a tapeworm!?” Connor looks down incredulously as Buck gently but firmly holds the worm between his index and middle finger.

“It’s coming out of his. . .” Paul doesn’t have to finish for the men to know where it’s coming from. His ass. “Ugh, I’m gonna be sick.”

“Get it out! GET IT OUT!”

“Ugh, I can see the mouth!”

Buck’s the only one smiling now, mainly out of amusement of the other three’s reactions. “I mean, we could pull it out.”

Bobby scrunches his face, shaking his head in disgust. “Absolutely not. We’re almost to the hospital. They’re gonna remove that with the proper instruments. Put him on some mebendazole and then we call it a night.”

“No, please no. I can’t take those drugs, they’re toxic. They put me on flagyl for diverticulitis once and it. . . it gave me severe heartburn and turned my pee burnt sienna.”

Buck blinks. What? “Burnt sienna?”

“It was brown! Okay?! It was dark brown! Now just please, I’m begging you, get it out!”

Bobby leans back, shaking his head and hands up in surrender. “It’s all you, Buck.”

Buck smiles at Bobby’s antics, turning to look at the worm. “Really? So, you have no problem delivering a baby but this creeps you out?”

“Seniority has its advantages.”

“Okay,” Buck croons, gently tugging and slowly pulling it out.

“What are you waiting for? Get it out!” Bobby says, and Buck chuckles a bit.

“I have to be careful.” Slowly, more and more of the worm reveals itself. “Alright? If it breaks, it’ll crawl back inside and regenerate.”

The other three groan in disgust.

“I’m gonna puke. I knew you didn’t go from a thirty-four to a thirty-one waist with sit-ups.” Paul leans more to Bobby. “Tapeworms are an old-fashioned trick for losing weight.”

“You know these things can live inside you for, like, twenty years.” The men grimace at Buck, who is still pulling out the tapeworm. From a glance, it looks to be more than ten inches now.

“This is insane,” Paul says, face scrunched. “It’s like a magician’s hanker chief.”

“Actually, it kinda makes perfect sense.” Bobby, Connor, and Paul frown in confusion. “All the sushi you guys eat. It’s like playing Russian roulette with parasites and with the moon parasitic breeding cycles rise and fall with the. . .” Buck looks up at Bobby’s irritated and disgusted expression. “. . . full moon.”

“Would you shut up about the moon? I honestly don’t know how you’re so calm about this.”

Buck shrugs. “It’s nature, y’know? Circle of life.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s what Elton John had in mind when he wrote that.”

Buck is honestly astonished, because he’s still pulling and the front half is starting to wrap around his fingers. “This has gotta be, like, six or seven feet.” Another chorus of disgusted (and painful) groans. 

“How do you know so much about tapeworms?”

“I tended a bar at a surf beach in South America.” He twists, pulls and the end of it pulls free with a pop. Connor lets out an agonized cry of pain, Paul comforts Connor as best he can while turning to gag, and Bobby scrunches his face in disgust as he holds up a bag for Buck to drop the worm into. “Congratulations, Connor. It’s a boy.”

///////

_ “So, get this.” TK scoots closer to Buck at the table, scrolling through his tablet. “Escaped prisoner caught at local McDonald’s.” _

_ “And who’s fault was that?” _

_ “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” TK scrolls down. “The shed that caught on fire? No signs of foul play, not a single flammable product found in or near the shed.” _

_ “So, it just decided ‘fuck it, I’mma burn’?” _

_ “Right? Weird stuff.” TK scrolls further down. “The man we found dead who claims he was just sleeping? He was sleeping. People saw him lie down on the ground a while back and just left him be. Doctors are still trying to figure out what the problem is, but for some reason he flat lines every time he turns his head.” _

_ Buck blinks in confusion, shaking his head. “The full moon. All this crazy stuff happens on a full moon.” _

///////

Baby fever. Baby fever and loneliness. The two things this night has shown him is that he desperately wants his own kid and that he’s lonely. And maybe in a little bit of denial of what he really wants.

And it’s not like he’s scared. The team is so accepting of Hen, so it’s not like they wouldn’t accept him. But something deep down is keeping him from coming to those terms and shoving his feelings back down. It’s fine, anyways. He’s got no man to tempt those feelings, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need a person to drown those feelings out.

So, his feelings, coupled with his loneliness and his want for a child—his desire for a family of his own—is what prompts him to drive to the store and purchase a bottle of wine (still not a wine drinker) and end up knocking on Abby’s door.

“Hi,” Abby says with a confused smile as she opens the door wide.

_ Back out. Back out now.  _ He should really listen to that voice. But. . . “So, I was driving home and I had a red light. . .”

Abby gestures him inside, and he moves forward with a smile, setting the wine down on the counter and facing Abby as she closes the door and turns to him.

“. . . and I looked up at the moon. Um. . . and before I knew it. . . I was pulling into a liquor store to buy us this bottle of wine. And then I drove straight here.”

“The moon cast a spell on you?” Abby gives him a sly smirk, something that sets well deep in lower regions. 

“It’s real. It’s gravity. And it pulls people together.” He moves forward, right into her space, waiting for her to push him away but she’s not. She’s humming in disagreement, looking off as though she were thinking.

“Actually—you know this, right?—the phases of the moon are caused by its positioning relative to the sun and the sun’s shadow? Like, it doesn’t actually get bigger or smaller.”

“I don’t think that’s actually true,” Buck says with an amused smile.

“It’s definitely true.”

“. . . Really?”

Abby chuckles, placing a hand on Buck’s chest tenderly. “Really.”

“Um. . .” He runs his thumb over his eyebrow, trying to tell his dumb brain that her eyes are brown and not hazel. And that there is definitely no yellow ring around her irises. “Well, even better. Y’know, cause science got nothing to do with it. It’s magic.”

Abby hums, shaking her head. “Nope. Not magic either. Maybe it’s not science or magic. . . maybe you just really wanted to see me.”

She reaches up, hands around his neck to pull him closer and press her lips to his. He’s just as enthusiastic, arms snaking around her lower back

And for once, it isn’t Sam.

Sam’s not kissing Buck earnest.

Sam’s not leading Buck to his bedroom.

Sam’s not tugging at the hem of his shirt.

It’s Abby. 

For the first time in what feels like forever, Buck’s sleeping with a person and recognizing that person for who they are.

But for some reason, all the feelings bottled up inside him from the night. . .

They still linger come the morning time.

And it’s Abby that Buck kissed.

It’s Abby that Buck slept with.

It’s Abby that Buck wakes up to.

But deep down. . . it’s not Abby Buck wants.

__

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, short chapter, very light tone, mainly comedic. If you wanna know some cool tidbits about this chapter, I mainly based the little background clips on my personal experiences (of sorts).
> 
> The first one with the escaped prisoner, I based off my experience in elementary school where we had to go into an actually lockdown because there was an escaped prisoner and he did in fact stop at McDonald's that would take no more than two to three minutes to walk to from my school (it would take less than a minute to drive). Then the shed on fire was actually right next to my school parking lot. I'll see if I can find a layout of my school grounds show you just where that shed was but my dad came home from the store one night and happened to be passing my school and the shed was ablaze. And then the guy, that's sort of half true. The flatlining from turning his head I saw on a television show that I cannot remember. But, when I was younger, I was in the car with my mom and dad and happened to be looking out the window when I saw a guy lying in on the ground, and I live in Georgia so it's wooded area so it wasn't easy to just spot him if you weren't looking in that direction. My parents called the fire department, they were right across the street so it wasn't long of a wait. Turns out the guy was just sleeping, I don't know if he was drunk or homeless but he was just sleeping in the woods.
> 
> And that's the little tidbit about the chapter. Until next time. . .


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited because this chapter covered the last three episodes of season 1. You know what that means? All of the chapters from here on out is will Eddie! Yay!
> 
> This chapter does have a death in it but other than that it's mainly angst.
> 
> I may or may not have chapter seven up today, depends on how busy I am but I will definitely try to get it posted today because that's just how flipping excited I am.
> 
> Stay safe you guys and enjoy!

“So, I want to thank everybody for donating today,” Chimney announces, walking up and down the aisle with stations set on each side for blood donations. Buck squeezes the little ball in his hand, grinding his teeth slightly at the discomfort and counting in his head to take his mind off the slight pain. “I don’t know if you know this or not, but ninety percent of all the blood given to patients in the Los Angeles area comes from volunteers. I know that we all put our asses on the line in the field everyday to save people, but today, you’re saving people and all it’s taking is a tiny prick of a needle.” Chimney smiles at Buck’s scrunched up face and constant squeezing of the stress ball. “So simple, even Mr. Buckley can’t mess that up.”

Buck smiles back charmingly, throwing Chimney a mock salute.

“See, it’s not that bad.” Chimney strides up to TK, who rubs at his arm with a slight frown. “Tiny little prick and it’s over.”

“I’m not afraid of getting a shot or something like that,” TK continues squeezing the stress ball, despite already getting his blood drawn. “It’s just, me and needles don’t exactly have the best track record. . . if you know what I mean.”

Chimney raises an eyebrow at TK’s pointed look, glancing back to Buck who gives him a sad smile. “Oh, why didn’t you just say that? I wouldn’t have bugged you about it if I—”

“No, no. It’s fine.” TK gives Chim a reassuring smile as he pats the paramedic on the shoulder. “Nothing is gonna stop me from helping my friend out by giving a little blood.”

“That’s the spirit!” Chim exclaims, throwing an arm over TK’s shoulder as Bobby strides in wearing civilian clothes.

“Still at it, huh? How’d you do?”

“Incredible! Everyone donated. Some people even came in on their day off.”

“That’s great!” Bobby gives Chim a warm smile, moving past to get changed for his shift. “Alright, well, let’s wrap it up. We got to start our shift.”

TK’s glancing at Bobby and then down at the paper. He taps Chimney, pointing at the list and then back at Bobby with a sly grin. Chim gets the gist, turning to face Bobby.

“Uh, hold up.” Bobby turns back, looking at Chim questioningly. “Looks like I am two pints shy of my goal for the day.”

Bobby blinks at Chimney, glaring slightly at TK who whistles as though he doesn’t notice the direction of the conversation. He smiles at Bobby, though, sidling up to Chimney’s side. “Well, that’ll give you something to work towards next time.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Chim shakes his head incredulously at Bobby. “You’re the captain of this house, and you’re the only one who didn’t participate.”

“I don’t like needles, end of story.”

“Neither does TK, but he shouldered through it like a boss.” TK waves with a smile, squeezing the stress ball once more.

“Still kinda hurts, but in compensation, the lady let me keep the stress ball.”

“Wimp.” TK turns to glare at Buck as he and Hen approach the three.

“You’re one to talk.” TK glances at the ball still in Buck’s hand, and Buck swings his hand behind his back, obscuring the ball from view and whistling as if he has no clue what TK is on about.

“Come on. Captain, come on.” Hen raises a condescending eyebrow at Bobby. “You gotta donate.”

Bobby sighs. “I don’t give blood. Alright? I never give blood. When I was a kid, they tried to take blood and I bit the doctor.” Buck’s letting out the laugh before he can stop it. “It’s not funny. And the one time someone tried to take my blood as an adult. . . didn’t go well.”

Buck turns because he really cannot hold it in, and he keeps his mouth closed but it doesn’t stop his shoulders from shaking with laughter. Hen chuckles a little as well, and Chim composes himself before chasing after Bobby as he continues to the locker room.

“When Buck was a kid,” TK starts, big smile on his face as he glances from Buck to Hen. “The doctor tried to take his blood and he kicked him. Right in the bullseye,” TK wiggles his eyebrows as Hen laughs even more. “If you know what I mean.”

“It was a reflex!”

“You’re supposed to do that when they tap you on the knee, not when they’re taking blood. Your reflexes are wonky.”

“Now you and everybody else here,” Chim speaks up from where he’s talking with Bobby, pointing back at the three who glance at each other before moving forward towards them, “asked me how they could help with my recovery. Well, this is how.”

Bobby crosses his arms, looking from TK’s smirk to Buck’s raised eyebrow to Hen’s knowing look to Chim’s smug face. He sighs. They’ve ganged up on him. “I hate all of you.”

All four smile cheekily. “Thank you. Thank you.” Chim struts back down the aisle.

Hen shrugs her shoulders. “You love us.”

“Here, you’re gonna need this.” Buck tosses the ball with a giggle to Bobby who shakes his head as it bounces off his arm and onto the floor. “Just squeeze it.”

“If you need two, just let me know.” TK says, though he hugs the ball close to him. “Please stick with one though, cause I really don’t want to give this up.”

“Alright! Let’s stick him!”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Jesus, you gotta send somebody down here now! There’s bodies everywhere!”_

_“Okay, sir, bodies where? What’s happened?”_

_“It’s a horrible accident and. . . oh my god. Is that who I think it is? Dan, look who it is!” “No fucking way, man!”_

_“Sir?”_

///////

“Buck, you okay?”

It’s Hen’s voice, pulling him from out of the darkness. He’s blinking back the tears, eyes once again roaming over the many bodies spread across the road, cars flipped and totaled. Chim’s already kneeling over a body still moving and he’s waving Hen and Buck over.

“Yeah, I. . . I’m fine.” Buck follows Hen, feet skidding to a halt just behind Chim as Hen drops down next to him.

The man before them breathes out labored breaths, face scrunched in pain and limbs twisted at odd angles. That’s not what stops Buck in his place, it’s his face. A face Buck can never forget.

_Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it._

“Isn’t he the. . ?” Hen furrows her eyebrow as Chim swears, the man coughing one more time before going still.

“Buck!”

“On it, Chim.” Buck kneels quickly, beginning chest compressions but it’s useless. He’s already gone.

Hen is right.

Karma is a bitch.

*****

“They’re out there looking for you.” Buck throws one last punch to the punching bag, catching it and resting his head against it. He breathes deeply, looking to TK with wary eyes.

“I miss him.”

“Sam?” TK moves forward, sitting down on a bench and patting the spot next to him. Buck sighs, moving to sit down next to his brother. “They told me about who was at the scene. I figured you would be thinking about him. It’s okay to miss your friend.”

“He was more than a friend.” TK raises his eyebrows in surprise and Buck shakes his head. “We both admitted to each other that night that we had feelings for each other. And then the one good thing in my life is taken just like that.”

“Buck—”

“I have an unhealthy obsession over him.” Buck weaves his fingers through his hair, pulling hard. “I missed him so much that I envisioned him with every girl I slept with. And it came to a point where I realized that a, it’s messed up, and b, almost cost me my job.”

“So, you’re gay?”

“I don’t know, TK, I. . .” Buck sighs in frustration. “I don’t have a label for it because I didn’t decide whether I prefer one or the other. I was heavily infatuated with the one boy who gave me a gift on Valentine’s Day because he didn’t want me to be alone. I spent ten years focused solely on my friend and no one else. And maybe that’s why he’s gone.” Buck is looking at TK again, desperately trying to hold in the tears. “He’s gone because it’s wrong. Not wrong to be gay, but wrong for me to be gay. Because Daniel was hellbent on making sure of that, and the moment I’m close to getting a relationship with a guy some unforeseen force comes along and just takes it away from me.”

TK’s frowning, pulling Buck in and running a hand over his head. “You can’t believe that, Buck. There was no unforeseen force, it was a rich asshole who ruined so many lives. But the world is not against you. It’s not wrong for you to like a man.”

“I slept with Abby, last night.” TK frowns even further but doesn’t comment on it. “It was different. I usually slept with girls because I was missing Sam and I used them to satisfy that desperate want. But with Abby. . . I forced myself to forget him because it’s such a fucked-up thing, what I was doing. And I thought if I move on, maybe it’ll get better. I didn’t think about or imagine Sam at all, and I still feel as crappy as I did before.”

“Maybe that’s because Sam isn’t your desire, he’s only a symbol of your desire.”

“Yeah, but. . . I think I can make things work with Abby. I just need a sign to tell me what I need to do.”

TK nods, pulling back to look Buck in the eyes. “I told Bobby about the connection between you and the victim. He’s letting you off for the rest of the day and—hear me out—it’s for the best. No, trust me, there are other conversations you need to have right now and I know you’re not gonna like it but they’ve gotta happen now.”

“Why?”

*****

“You’re leaving? Again?”

“It’s part of my job, Buck. I have to travel. I will come back—”

“Yeah, you’re right. Let me calm down. I’ll see in the next ten years.”

“Why are you so mad? TK is leaving—”

“TK is on a vacation, lives in New York, and has a job to get back to. I knew TK wasn’t gonna be here forever. I’m mad because you didn’t tell me. Just like last time, you were gonna leave without saying anything and leave TK to deal with the aftermath!”

“Buck, I will come back and visit—”

“Visits are short. Mom, you told me you had ten years to make up. Why would you give me this false hope that you’d be here if you have a travelling job!?”

At this point, both Gwenyth and Buck have tears in their eyes. Buck’s not truly mad, but he’s volcano building up to a horrible eruption. The stress of relapsing Sam’s death, on top of his relationship crisis, and now both his brother and mother leaving, his world is just crumbling.

“Buck. . . Buck where are you going?”

“I can learn from my mistakes.” Buck looks back sadly, no animosity just sorrow. He knows his mom will be back, and right now, he needs to calm down. “I’m leaving before I say or do something I will regret. . . Bye, mom.”

Buck moves out the front door, striding quickly up to TK to hug him goodbye. And while he’s in the embrace, TK leans to whisper in his ear.

“Look at it this way, Buck. This is that unforeseen force trying to get you to realize that this next step in your life is something you have to figure out on your own. You’ve got to figure out what Abby really is to you, and what you really want and need deep down. Maybe that unforeseen force is pushing us away because you need time to figure yourself out.”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Help me! I’m stuck in a garbage truck.”_

_“You’re locked in a garbage truck?”_

_“I can’t move my legs! I can’t get out! It’s gonna crush me! Please hurry!”_

_“I’m sending the nearest police car.”_

//////

There’s two things Buck is grateful for at the moment: sleep and his job. He was able to sleep off his sadness and show up to the station in his usual good mood, despite the lingering feelings. Then, there’s his job, the perfect thing needed to take his mind off anything bothering him.

Like now, instead of happiness with an underlying tone of sadness, he’s feeling growing irritation, especially as he honks the horn yet again at the garbage truck and it still has yet to pull over.

“What’s this dude’s problem?” Hen is asking in irritation over the radio, driving in the ambulance behind Buck and Bobby.

Buck gives Bobby an incredulous look. “Seriously? He doesn’t hear us?”

“We’re gonna have to get in front of him.”

“Okay.” Buck speeds up, shifting into the left lane and moving past the garbage truck before turning into its path and stopping. Bobby and Buck quickly hop out, followed by the garbage truck driver.

Bobby’s already talking to the man when Buck makes his way around the engine from the driver’s side. “He dialed 9-1-1 from inside.”

“No, I mean that’s not possible. We haven’t picked any garbage up yet.”

Buck frowns, pausing from sliding on heavy duty gloves. “Wait, what?”

“You got the wrong truck, man. She’s empty.”

“What’s going on?” Hen asks as she and Chim stride up in confusion.

Buck gives her a grimace. “It’s the wrong truck.” Buck’s already shuffling back around to the driver’s side quickly. “Um, thank you. Carry on. You’re doing a great job.”

“Dispatch, this is T-118,” Bobby calls into the radio as he climbs back into the engine. “We are at Chandler and Allot. We have the wrong garbage truck. Do you have a location for the garbage truck?”

“This is 727-L-30,” A voice calls through the radio. It’s Athena. “I got eyes on your garbage truck. Corner of Ventura and Stern. Search and rescue on the way?”

Buck raises a questioning eyebrow, putting his headset back on. “That’s, like, two blocks from away.”

“Let’s go.”

“Alright.”

*****

“You’re not in any trouble,” Athena’s telling the man when Buck hops out of the truck.

“Did you run the compactor?” Bobby asks as Hen moves forward, pulling at the ladder attached to the green truck.

“Yeah.”

“What kind of pressure does it operate under?”

“I don’t know. Two thousand psi? Maybe more?”

“That would crush a car.” Buck says worryingly, slipping on his heavy-duty gloves before following Hen. He reaches the top and—goddamn, that is foul. “Woo, it stinks. People call us heroes?” Hen’s already hopping down into the pile of bags when Buck is throwing his leg over. “Oh, Hen. Hold up. It’s gonna take forever by hand. “Hey, Chim, can you grab shovels?”

Hen’s already tossing bags, however. “Come on. What? Are you scared to get your hands dirty, Buck? Come on, let’s go.”

She aggressively tosses the bags and he follows suit, Chim showing up a second later to help in trash tossing. A second later, Bobby’s in, too.

“Wait, so he was, uh. . .” Jesus, what are these people throwing away? And why the hell does it smell so bad? “. . .he was sleeping in a dumpster but he has a cellphone?”

“They give them to the homeless.” Chim passes another heavy bag to Buck, which he passes to Bobby. “It’s part of the Lifeline program. Keeps them connected to family if they have any.”

“I got him! I see a foot!” Buck drops the bag instantly, moving to where Hen moves and finding a man lying in an uncomfortable position. Hen reaches down, fingers against his neck. “I got a pulse.”

“Stay still, sir. Do not move your neck.” For a second, he thinks Bobby’s talking to an unconscious man, but then he groans in pain, eyes fluttering open. “Chim, get me a neck brace and a board in here. We got to get him out of here.”

“I don’t understand. How did he survive that kind of pressure?” Buck frowns, glancing at the surrounding smushed bags.

“Probably fell into this pocket here, got protected by the chair. Sir, can you hear me?” He blinks and then moves his eyes slowly to Bobby. “Can you hear me? Does it hurt when you breathe?”

“It hurts. I can’t feel my legs.”

“Well, don’t worry, okay?” Buck always has a soft spot for people in trouble and always has this need to comfort those around him. It’s the reason why is voice is now three times softer than before. “We’re gonna get you out of there.”

Hen pockets the flashlight she was shining in his eyes. “You’re gonna be alright, okay? What’s your name?”

“Sam.”

Buck frowns instantly.

_Goddamn you, unforeseen force._

“You’re gonna be alright, Sam.”

///////

Unforeseen force be damned. Buck is determined to make this work. The moment he sees the silver car climbing up the dirt road, he stands with the bouquet in hand. He has this cheeky smile on his face as Abby climbs out the car.

“Hi!” She exclaims with a chuckle.

“Hi.”

“What the heck is this?”

“It’s our date. Come on.”

“Oh my gosh!” She strides up happily, and he’s leaning down to give her a tender kiss. Short, but sweet.

“These are for you.” He holds up the bouquet, and Abby flutters her eyelashes before gladly taking them off his hands.

“Oh my gosh, thank you.

“Oh my gosh, thank you. So beautiful.” She loops her arms through his, and he keeps his attention on her as he leads her up the hill and—yep, there it is. The moment she spots the hot air balloon. “Whoa!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No.”

“Oh my. . .”

“You ever been up in one?”

“Uh, no, but I’ve answered a few calls from ones that have crashed.” Say less. Buck is furrowing his eyebrows, though he still has a smile on his face, and is already turning around. Abby laughs, pulling him back. “I’m just kidding. It’s amazing.”

“And, uh, there is champagne and truffles on board.” Seriously, Buck needs to hang out with Chim again soon because he’s drinking a lot more wine than he cares for and he’s gonna need a beer.

“You’re surprising me.”

“Well, you’re amazing. I want to make sure I make you feel that way. So, today, we fly.”

“Awesome. Awesome.” Buck laughs as Abby’s phone begins to ring and she pauses. “Oh shoot. Hold on one second. Sorry. My mom.”

Buck is moving instantly, taking back the flowers. “Here, let me take these for you.”

“Oh, yes. Hold on. Thank you.” Abby brings the phone to her ear. “Hey, Carla, what’s up? Car. . . Carla. Carla? Maybe put her on the phone with me? Mom. Mom. Mom? It’s Abby. Can you hear me? Mom? Alright. Carla, I’ll. . .” she looks at Buck regretfully. “I’ll just be there as fast as I can, okay? Okay.”

Buck sighs. “Everything okay?”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I have to go.”

Buck is frowning, blinking at her and then gesturing to the very expensive date he planned. “Uh, hot air balloon.”

“I know, I know. It’s my mom. Sh—”

“But it’s a hot air balloon, y’know? You can’t just. . . reschedule that like a dinner reservation.”

“I know.” Abby frowns. “We had a really bad night, and she’s just. . . just in a terrible place right now.”

“Okay.” Abby opens her mouth to say more, but Buck is shaking his head. “No, it’s fine.”

“Thank you.” She’s pressing another kiss to his lips, one that he doesn’t quite return with the same enthusiasm. “Thanks. I’m sorry.”

She walks off, flowers in hand, and Buck nods his head with a frown.

_Unforeseen force strikes again._

///////

“Thought you had the morning off,” Bobby says when he spots Buck entering the locker room. “Weren’t you supposed to be up in a blimp or something?”

“Hot air balloon. And, uh, she bailed on me.” So bailed might be an exaggeration but that’s how Buck feels right about now. He’s annoyed (and he’s damned for feeling this way) at Abby’s mother’s Alzheimer’s and annoyed at Abby for taking care of her mom twenty-four seven and annoyed at the world for toying with Buck’s possible shot at a relationship. So far, his dates with Abby have been nothing but failure. “Her mom wasn’t doing well.”

“That’s a bummer. Happens.”

“Yeah, I don’t know.” He’s considering TK’s words. First the choking, now her mother. It seems the world really doesn’t want the two of them together. “I’m-I’m super into her.” It’s a stretch. It seems like he’s trying to convince himself more than Bobby. “Y’know, she is. . . she’s really smart. And when she makes fun of me, it doesn’t make me feel bad. She has her own money. The sex is. . .” He swallows at Bobby’s deadpanned look. “. . .insane.”

“Oh, here I thought she just had great hair.”

“She’s the perfect woman.” So, why does it feel so wrong? “But this is the second week in a row that my day off has been screwed up because she has to go and deal with her mom.”

And maybe Buck just can’t understand because he doesn’t understand that mother-child relationship.

“Well, people who are great tend to have full lives with people who depend on them.”

“Yeah. And-and I really like her mom, y’know? I-I do. And I respect the way that Abby takes care of her. I-I’m starting to think maybe. . .” He leans forward, and for a second he’s ready to just flat out say it. But then he’s looking from the trucks back to Bobby and. . . he doesn’t think he can say it yet. Bobby’s furrowing his eyebrows and for a second, Buck thinks Bobby might already see it. “. . . maybe this kind of relationship isn’t for me.”

He doesn’t fully say what he wants to, which is that maybe girls aren’t his cup of tea, but in a way, he still feels a slight weight lifted off his chest. Because a small part of him is accepting TK’s words, though that part is still small.

“You mean a real one?” _No, Bobby._ He wants Bobby to understand, but he isn’t ready to say it.

“I. . .” No. He can’t do it. “I mean, I’m twenty-six, right? Y’know, I-I wanna have fun. Y’know, and I’m not saying that I should go and start jumping back into bed with every girl I meet. I-I’m not trying to be that guy anymore. But maybe I should find something that is a little less. . . adult.”

“Look, all those things that you feel when you’re with Abby—the closeness, intimacy and trust—those things don’t come for free. Any woman of substance and experience has lived a life and she’s gonna come with some baggage. I think your problem is you’re hoping to pull her out of this trap she’s in with her mom. That’s not gonna happen. What she needs is for you to step inside with her, keep her company in there.”

Maybe that’ll work.

///////

“Is this cool?” Buck asks, looking around the quaint café as Abby takes a sip of her tea. “Like, I figured we try someplace completely not special, so-so if you had to cancel it. . . you wouldn’t feel bad.”

Abby smiles guiltily, running her hands through her hair. “I’m sorry. This place is great. This is great.”

“Um, so how is your mom doing?”

“Same.” Abby sighs. “I mean, worse. Y’know, she’s having a hard time walking and eating is getting tougher. But the worst part, y’know, is, like, it’s just the memory and the personality. This disease. . . it doesn’t just eat away at it like cancer does. It almost just pushes it away.”

“Yeah, and um. . . it sounds. . . it sounds awful.”

Abby chuckles, once again with guilt. “Sorry. I know, it sounds awful. And I’m sure you don’t want to hear it cause I don’t want to hear it cause I don’t even want to be going through it.”

“I-I do want to hear it.”

“Well. . .”

“Alright, y-you’re living it and I want—”

“I know but—”

“—I want you to talk to me.”

“—it’s just, I think there’s a reason I’ve been doing this. . . alone, y’know? It’s hard to drag somebody through it. I don’t want. . . y’know. I don’t want that for you.”

“You’re breaking up with me, right?” Buck hasn’t actually been through a breakup before, and he’s growing agitated because he’s trying his hardest to be with her so, why are things so complicated?

“I think I just. . . I’m letting you off the hook.”

“See, I feel like anyone else—most people—if they were dealing with the stuff you have to deal with every single day they would see it as a cage. But you don’t. You find a way to break free. You find a way to be yourself. You find. . . life. And if the price I have to pay for being close to a woman like you is—yeah, whatever—a couple of canceled dates, then you know what? Then that is one heck of a good deal, and I am in.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

_Better luck next time, unforeseen force._

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Mom. . .”_

///////

Buck hates funerals. Maybe it’s because the first one he ever attended was for his best friend, but he just can’t take the sorrow and anger that builds within him every second the memorial goes on. He knows that’s how Abby feels. The moment they get back to her apartment, she’s distant and cold. She tosses flowers into the trashcan with force, glares at the room where her mother withered away, and then disappeared for the night.

The next day, she and Buck and hired help rearrange the dining room to look as though there was never an ill person staying there.

“Looks good.” And he really doesn’t know what to say, because he couldn’t possibly be feeling what she’s feeling. He does know he would be just as heartbroken if his mother died, though.

“Looks like a dining room again.” Her face is scrunching and she brings a hand to her face before her shoulders begin to shake with uncontrollable sobbing. Buck is quick to rush over, wrapping her up in a hug.

“Hey, hey, hey. Hey, I’m here.” She turns into him, arms wrapping around him. “I got you, I got you, I got you.”

///////

Buck really loves the distraction of being at the firehouse. It always manages to take his mind off of the sad things happening outside. Such as, the entertaining showdown about to go down the second Chim calls Bobby out for shutting his laptop the moment they approach as if he were doing something scandalous.

“No, I didn’t.” Bobby denies quickly, eyes going from Chim and Hen to Buck suspiciously.

“Yeah, you did.”

“I just took a sip of tea.” Chim snatches the laptop before Bobby can even register what he’s doing. “Chim!”

“Ah, ah, ah.” Chim smiles deviously opening the laptop and taking a look. Bobby sighs at Chim and Hen’s eyebrow raise. “Romancing the Uniform dot com?”

“No way,” Buck says with a gleeful smile, moving behind Chim and Hen to get a look at the profile pic Bobby has set up.

“That’s my dating site. That’s where I met Tatianna.” They look at Bobby with smiles. “Holy crap. Are you actually putting yourself back out on the scene?”

“My sponsor said maybe it’s time.” Buck is looking incredulously from the computer and back to Bobby, grin growing wider and wider. “I spend too much time in my work, in my head and. . . dating and having a girlfriend will help get me out in the world.”

“I think it’s great you’ve taken the leap,” Hen smiles as Buck takes the laptop off Chim’s hands, smiling like a madman. He sits down, eyes roaming the page with pure glee because he gets to practically harass his pops about his dating life. “It’s brave. While at the moment I think that dating or sleeping with someone is not worth the trouble, but I’m happy for you.”

“Look, this just isn’t me,” Bobby cuts a glance to Buck, who’s finger is starting to hurt from biting down on it to contain his laughter. “I feel like a probie stretching his first job.”

“Not a rookie,” Hen says. “You’re just. . . rusty.”

“Last time I had a date I was in my twenties.”

“Yeah,” Buck is shaking his head because this certainly will not do. “This is terrible. This picture looks like you’re trying to sell real estate from a bus stop bench and you know what?” Chim is barking out a laugh and Hen is leaning over to get a better look. “I will not be buying. Alright? You cannot describe yourself as ‘I am a lifesaver not a heartbreaker’.”

“What? That’s solid. It’s sweet.”

“No, it is cheese.” It hurts deep down, resisting the urge to laugh. “Sweet, sweet cheese.”

Nope, can’t do it anymore. He’s held it in for so long that when the laugh does burst out of him, he’s jumping back in his chair from the force, head thrown back hard, eyes squeezed shut, stomaching tightening from lack of air.

“You like flan?” Chim is asking through his laughter.

“Fruit flan is the bomb!” Bobby is arguing as Buck opens his eyes, landing on an area of the profile and he’s jumping back again in another burst of laughter, slapping at Chimney. “You don’t?”

“Oh he. . !” Buck takes a second to suck in some air. “You have an AOL email account still!? It is _literally_ like you are frozen in ember in 1995.”

Bobby furrows his eyebrows indignantly. “It’s amber, not ember you idiot.”

“Who cares? You can never show this to a girl.”

“Why not?”

“Okay, this profile is a joke profile for a guy no one ever wants to go out with.”

Chim clears his throat, leaning down towards Buck. “You know what? Maybe you are not the right person he should be taking dating advice from, Buckaroo.”

“And why is that?” Buck gives them all a smug look. “Because last time I checked, I’m in a stable monogamous relationship with an amazing woman.” And with Bobby being single, Chimney having gone through a breakup, and Hen having marriage issues. . . “Hell, I’m the healthiest dater at this whole table.”

Chimney glances at Hen, furrows his eyebrows, and then. . . “Oh my god, he’s right.”

Bobby laughs as Hen shakes her head. “The world has turned upside down.”

“Oh, yeah, okay, laugh.” Buck smiles indignantly. “I am proof that real change is possible.”

He’s getting up from the table when a brunette comes striding towards the table.

“What the hell, Evan Buckley?” First off, ew. He hates when people use his first name like that, as a weapon. Secondly, does he know this woman?

“Can we help you?” Bobby is asking while the smile falls from Buck’s face.

“You lead me on for six weeks,” Woah. Hold on. He would’ve remembered that. “The sexiest, deepest, most romantic, most intimate relationship I have ever had with a man. I told you everything. You told me everything—I am not an easy nut to crack! Is this your sick game? Make a girl reveal every fear and secret and turn on and disappear? Is ghosting girls your thing?”

What. The actual. Hell. He’s speechless, mainly because he doesn’t know what’s happening but also he’s trying to figure out; _did I sleep with her?_

“I’m sorry,” and Buck is extremely grateful for Bobby having his back, “are you sure you have the right Evan Buckley?”

“You mean the Evan Buckley who’s a firefighter?” She’s trying to look deep in his eyes but he can’t. . . he doesn’t know her. He swears on Sam’s grave that he’s never seen her before. Not that he remembers. “Who works here and was on the news and climbed a roller coaster and looks exactly like you?”

“Listen, yeah,” Buck sighs, trying to wrack his memory of her while at the same time trying to deescalate the situation. Maybe he did sleep with her and forgot. But he would remember any relationship lasting more than a night, and six weeks with this woman is not ringing a bell. “Sure, that is definitely me but the. . . the me that I am and the him. . . him you’re describing, that is not the same person.”

He can see the moment her arm moves, but it’s so fast that he doesn’t have the time to act. Her palm connects with his cheek, and it hurts so bad and there’s just this problem he has with being hit; he doesn’t like it. But he’s not about to go at it with a girl, because she’s not Daniel, she’s a woman scorned. The slap leaves him dazed slightly, and when he looks back she’s storming off. And he’s chuckling darkly because unforeseen force is really coming for his neck now. When he turns, the team is giving him judgmental looks, the same he got from borrowing the engine without permission.

And he’s not having that.

All he’s become.

Everything he’s built with Abby.

He’s not about to let it all crumble from a simple misunderstanding.

“No, no, I swear I have **_never_** seen her before.”

“If you say so. . .” Bobby is nodding and he can’t take that judgement again. Bobby should know, he literally got him ready for his date and he’s been seeing the effort that Buck is putting into this relationship.

“No, I **_do_** say so. Okay? I swear I-I don’t know who that was. I have—I have found real intimacy, right? You know this! Come on! I haven’t even flirted with anyone else.”

“Yep,” Hen nods mockingly as she sits down with the other two. “You’re proof that real change is possible.”

For once, he isn’t glad the bell begins to ring.

///////

“So, with your brother. Did he, y’know, like me?” It was the first time Buck had actually met any of Abby’s family, unfortunately.

“I think he did. It was really funny when he thought you moved in with me.”

Did he move in? Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t been back at his house as of lately. He’s been staying with Abby to help her with her mom, but he also saw this big opportunity to not have to go back there. That place is a pig stein.

“I guess I kinda did, right? Is that okay? My stuff being in your place?”

“Yeah. I mean, I hadn’t really thought about it like that, but you’ve been so amazing through this.”

“I got your back. You know that.”

“Hello, Evan.” Ew. There it is again. His first name being used as a weapon. When he turns, there’s a mocha-skinned woman standing there, a smile on her face even though Buck can clearly see she isn’t happy. And if anyone were to ask, no, he definitely did not sleep with her and he most certainly knows that for a fact. He’s not racist, but he knows that all the girls he’s slept with always had aspects that reminded him of Sam. This girl’s brown skin would clash significantly with Sam’s olive tone. That’s how he knows something is amiss.

“Um, hi?”

“You seriously don’t recognize me?” _Please, not again. Not now._ “I look exactly like my profile pic. Daphne B. The girl that you’ve been DMing for the past three months—” Abby’s raising her eyebrows at him in surprise and no, it’s one thing when his friends are skeptical, it’s another when it’s clearly effecting his relationship. “—well, until you fell off the face of the earth. You think it’s cool to just blow people off?”

“No, no, no, no. Hold on.” He’s laughing out of pure astonishment because when he asked for a goddamn sign, he didn’t mean in the form of girls who claim to have been sleeping with him that will in turn definitely cause a rift between him and Abby. “This cannot be happening again.”

“What do you mean again?” Abby’s asking quietly, eyebrows furrowed.

“You said that I had the prettiest eyes you’d ever seen.” He’s dragging a hand down his face. Now he knows something is definitely wrong. If there’s one thing he _never_ did while sleeping with a girl, it was making a comment on her eyes, for obvious reasons. “They’re real, unlike your profile status. You said you’re single.”

“Did you say that recently?” Buck’s looking at Abby in panic because he hasn’t said it at all.

“No, no, Abby, this is—” He glances at the girl giving him a smug smirk. “—this is just a big misunderstanding.”

“No, no, no, no. There’s no misunderstanding.” Buck really wishes this chick would shut up right about now, as mean as that may be. “I’ve been communicating with this jerk wad for three months and now he doesn’t know who I am.”

And now he’s fed up and he wants to know why the hell the world is so against him. “You’re the second girl in two days to say that I’ve ghosted them.”

And now her arm is moving, too. At least this time it’s a cup of cold water and not a slap to the face. Not that he’s okay with having the contents of her cup all over his shirt and face. “Whoa! Hey, come on!”

“I just did you a huge favor, lady. You’re welcome.” She turns and leaves as Buck grabs the napkins, drying off his face before moving to dab at his shirt. He stutters gesturing from the girl to himself as Abby looks at him, speechless.

“No, no, I swear I don’t know who that was.”

“I thought you weren’t doing that anymore.”

“Hey, I’m not. You know me! Come on!”

“I don’t know—I don’t even know who I am right now.” Abby shakes her head, standing and collecting her things before leaving as well. “But I definitely don’t feel like I know who you are right now.”

“Abby!” She doesn’t look back and Buck throws his hands up in exasperation. “Abby, come on!”

And that’s it. He’s worked too hard, and he refuses to believe that this is his sign.

Someone’s playing a goddamn joke on him.

And he’s gonna find out who.

///////

When Buck comes storming through the station, he’s beyond mad. He’s furious.

“Hey, yo, Rebar!” Chim raises an eyebrow at the name, taking in Buck’s mad expression. Which is strange as Buck isn’t usually the type to get mad. “Come clean, this is you, right? Putting girls up to this? You think you’re funny?”

“You know what, Buck? I really wish it was—”

“Okay! You wish! You _wish_! Let’s see—”

“—But it’s not!” Chim sighs, glancing at the laptop in his lap. “I bet if you updated your relationship status on your MySpace page it might clear up all of this confusion.”

MySpace? Buck wouldn’t be caught dead. “Who even uses MySpace?”

“Oh, evidently _you_ do.” Chim holds up the laptop for Buck to see with a smile. His eyes roam the page, lingering over the photo of him in confusion.

“The hell? That’s my Facebook picture.”

“Yet another disappointed young lady came into the firehouse today. After I convinced her to stop shouting and throwing rocks, she showed me this.” Buck is sitting down slowly, still trying to work out why the hell he’s on MySpace. “Don’t you get it? Some weirdo saw your B-movie star looks in the news and thought pretending to be you would be a good lure to catfish the woman of LA.”

“So, I’m a Yankees fan who loves Star Wars?” Buck hasn’t seen a single Star Wars movie.

“Ah, Star Wars _prequels_ ,” Chim corrects with a laugh. Good to see somebody sees this as funny. Not Buck.

“It’s not funny. This is really messed up.”

“Yeah, it is. But, come on. Some dude doing the boring leg work, having hotties coming to your door, I mean, what? Is that really that awful?”

 _Yes, Chim. It is._ “Abby is freaking out. This cannot keep happening. Who is he?”

“Okay, your imposter is not that bright. He’s already started exchanging emails with Brandi.”

“Who’s Brandi?”

“The angry girl throwing the rocks who’s actually very smart and very cool and who may or may not come to my place next week to watch the game with us so, please don’t come.” He gives Chimney a deadpanned look. Glad to see he finds it funny _and_ is benefitting from it. Again, not Buck. “The point is if you know what you’re looking for, you can find the ip address in the header of the messages.”

“This looks like a bunch of random numbers.”

“Yeah, Buck. Random numbers that we can trace to his actual address.”

Well why didn’t he just say that to begin with?

///////

“Hey, Catfish!” Buck’s banging against the door in anger as Chim rolls his eyes. “The jig is up!”

“Easy, guy. Keep a cool head now.”

Keep a co—keep a cool head!? “This guy’s a criminal. Come on, freak, we got your number! Open up!”

“Maybe he’s not home.”

“LAFD! Come to the door!” Okay, so maybe he’s not on official LAFD business, but it’s technically not a lie. He and Chim are part of the LAFD, even though they’re off duty right now.

“Must be a recluse or a meth addict. He’s blacked out all the windows—oh, jeez!” Buck looks to Chim as he jumps away from the window in surprise. And he takes a peek at the window that’s not blacked out, it’s covered with flies. So many flies. Goddamn it. . . “Oh this is not gonna be pretty.”

*****

The smell is even worse than the garbage truck. So bad that Buck and Chim cover their faces with masks and he can still smell it. The guy’s body is pale and possible two times the size it was before he died.

“How does this happen?” And now Buck’s voice is softer than before. He wanted a confrontation. A little shouting argument. To tell the guy to take down the profile and not use his face again.

Death is not one of those.

“I guess heart attack.”

“It’s kinda sad.” With this many flies and his body that size, he’s been sitting here for days. No one’s checked on him. He died alone. “Coroner said he’s probably been lying there for ten days but no one notices?”

“That guy was a shut in. The park manager says no one’s seen him for, like, two years.”

“Well, it’s. . .” Buck really wishes that the guy in the hazmat would stop pressing against the man’s stomach, the sound is vile and he thinks he might be sick. “. . . tragic.”

“Let’s not forget this was an online predator.”

“Was he though?” And Chim is looking at Buck incredulously now, because the switch from angry to concerned is amazing. He was just furious with him twenty minutes ago, calling him a freak, and now he feels sorry for the guy. “It’s not like he was tricking women into hooking up. He never went out.”

“If he could even get out. . . Why are you defending him?”

“Just saying. . . it’s kind of a bummer, y’know?” He frowns because maybe this whole mess was a goddamn sign for him. “Hated himself so much he had to pretend to be someone else.”

_Ironic, ain’t it._

“Don’t get a lot of cases that bloat this much,” the man in the hazmat suit says. “Body’s probably double the size it was the time of death. Bloat set in after rigor mortis, filled him with methane and CO2 along with decomposition fluids probably cause it’s. . . so hot in here. And. . . expire the full stomach. I just don’t know how to get him out of here. Maybe gotta knock down this wall and roll this whole thing down in the morning.”

Buck looks around, glancing out the window and spotting a crowd of people holding their phones up. And he can’t help but think back to Dennis, his fright of hanging from a roller coaster being everywhere. No one wants their worst moments aired for everyone to see. Dead or alive.

“No.” the men in the room turn to him in confusion. “No, okay? Look, this guy may not have lived with much dignity but maybe he can still die with some. These people are already treating him like he’s a circus side show. Let’s not make it any more of a spectacle. I know a way we can get him out of here in a body bag.”

“That’s a great speech,” Buck glances back at the man who grimaces, “but that would take hours.”

“Why? You just gotta drain all the gas and gunk and stuff.”

“We would have to use large bore needles and start the embalming process here.”

“Okay, so let’s do that.”

The man sighs, standing to look at Buck skeptically. “He’s dead. He doesn’t care if people are gawking at him. Alright? He doesn’t have any feelings to hurt anymore.”

The thing about Buck is he hates people who just treat others like dirt. And he understands that the guy is gone, but the way the man said it didn’t sit right with him. His tone was mocking not just to the dead man but to Buck as well. He moves slowly towards the guy, looking down because he’s about five inches taller.

“You are not about to beat up a coroner, now are you, Buck?” Chim deadpans, watching Buck’s movements in exasperation.

He picks up a knife from the sink, taking satisfaction in the man’s fear before moving fast and jamming the utensil into the bloated man’s stomach. And he really didn’t think that through, too caught up in the moment. He’s heavily, severely— _tremendously_ —disgusted by the gunk the bursts from the puncture and the god-awful smell emanating from it. It’s all over the sleeve of his jacket and his hand, and he makes a mental note to burn the clothing and soak his hand in bleach when this is all over.

“Hmm, nice work,” the coroner deadpans, fear gone the moment he realized Buck wasn’t going to hurt him.

“Yeah, I thought he was gonna pop.” Like a balloon.

“I told you. Draining him is going to take time.”

“What? Do you got dinner reservations? Let’s get to work, ok?”

*****

The process was. . . disgusting. He won’t sugarcoat it. He was completely and utterly vile. Especially when instead of going through the tubes, the gunk began to burst from him in streams of yellowish-brown ooze. And the smell. . . Buck would rather sleep in the garbage truck.

He did find humor in Chim’s squeamish attempts to move as far away from the body as possible, ‘oh god!’ continually spewing from his lips the entire time. The entire thing was worth it in the end, when the man was eventually about the same size as Chim, and they could fit him into a body bag and roll him to the van.

///////

“He was, like, a three-hundred-and-fifty-pound man that’s been dead for a whole week.” Abby looks at Buck unbelieving. “These girls are getting blown off because the dude died. That- That is all there is to it. Okay? I-I need you. . . I need you to know that.” She doesn’t say anything, just nods quietly. And Buck’s afraid, because TK’s gone, his mom is gone, and he needs Abby because he doesn’t want to face the inevitable alone. “I need. . . Abby. . . do you believe me?”

“Yeah, I believe you. I believe you.” And it’s such a relief because maybe his relationship isn’t completely tarnished. “I’m kinda relieved cause I was feeling a little crazy there for a minute.”

“No, hey, you’re so not crazy.” He’s reaching forward, leaving a sweet kiss on her lips with a relieved smile. “You’re so not crazy. Okay?”

“It’s a crazy story.” He moves to sit next to her on the couch now, smiling like a happy puppy.

“No, yeah. We got there and it was just. . .” From his new position he has a clear view of her room and the luggage on her bed before looking back at—luggage? He frowns. Her suitcase is open but filled with clothing. “Um. . .” She looks back at her room, and then to Buck sadly. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Um. . .” Abby sighs sadly. “I bought a plane ticket to go to Dublin.”

“Dublin as in. . . Dublin, Ireland?”

“Yeah. Dublin, Ireland. I’m gonna go.” She’s leaving. And she’s going further than his mom, who’s in Baltimore for a case. She’s going further than TK, who’s back in his home state of New York. No, she’s not only traveling across the entire country, she’s going across the Atlantic. Without him. “For a while, probably. I don’t know. . . I don’t know how long. Few months, maybe.”

“Why?”

“For mom. She always wanted to go to Ireland. She never went. So, I need to go. . . Also, because. . . I’m kinda lost, Buck. And I just lost my mom but I realize I also kinda lost myself a long time ago and. . . I don’t- I don’t know. I think somewhere along the way I just started caring so much for everybody else that I stopped caring for myself.”

He doesn’t know how he looks, maybe just as broken as he feels right now. He’s mad that she’s leaving and didn’t tell him. By the looks of it, she probably wasn’t gonna tell him until the very last second. And he’s sad because he actually liked what he and Abby have—had. He may not have known what it truly was, but he found it comforting.

“I mean, I used to be a person who traveled the world, swimming in competitions, and I. . . demanded so much from myself. . . and I feel like I need to find that again. Because I feel like I need to have something to give to my job and to the people who are counting on me and to the people that I care about.” Buck is nodding, but it’s absentmindedly. “I care about you so much.” _Then why are you leaving me?_ “You’re amazing and these last few months I think you’ve gotten me at least halfway to the person I want to be. But I’ve got to do this, so I know I have something to give.”

It takes a second for Buck to find his voice, because for a minute he’s not there. He’s back with TK and Owen, trying to figure out what’s gonna happen if mom doesn’t come back. And he’s at the door crack, watching himself eavesdrop on a conversation and begging his younger self to just go back to bed before he hears things he doesn’t want to hear. And he’s further back, tugging on Maddie’s sleeve, her fiancé waiting by the car with a smile Buck always hated.

“I am excited for you. . . almost as much as I am sad for me.” And he’s not selfish, he wants Abby to do this for herself. He wants her to go out there and find herself but he doesn’t want her to go.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you, too.”

And she’s reaching forward, pulling Buck in for a hug, and he does, falling against her and letting the tears roll. He feels like a kid again. So sad and watching those he loves move further away and just dreading that he’ll never see them again.

And he hugs Abby tightly because who knows when he’ll get the chance to again. And he realizes that TK was right. His mom leaving, TK leaving, and Abby leaving is a sign. Just like Abby needs to find herself, Buck needs to do the same.

Without his brother.

Without his mom.

Without Abby.

*****

“You’re not gonna come with me?” Abby’s asking when Buck pauses just before the entrance to the airport. And no, he can’t. It hurt when he saw her luggage. It hurt when she explained that she was leaving for a while. It hurt driving her to the airport. And if he’s gonna find himself, he needs to let her go. And it’ll hurt more if he feels as though he’s watching her go when she eventually disappears through the gate versus actually letting her go right here, at the entrance.

“I learned a while ago, you never go beyond the glass doors.”

“I must be crazy to be leaving you behind.”

“You’re not leaving anything behind. You’re moving towards something. I’m gonna be right here when you come back, okay?” She nods sadly, and Buck lets go of her hand, smiling sadly at the sliding doors. “Go on. You got this, okay?”

“Take care of yourself, Evan.”

“You too, Abby.”

They have one last kiss, short but sweet and filled with sadness. And then she’s turning, and he watches her walk until he can no longer see her from behind the glass doors.

_Goodbye, Abby._

And now Buck’s gotta start a new chapter.

It’s time to make some changes.

He’s gonna figure out who he is.

And he’s excited to see where that road may lead.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first thing. Guys, re-watching this episode, I realized there was a little cameo. Rosewater, the male paramedic for T-126 on 9-1-1 LS, played our guilty groom who left his bride at the alter and got arrested for speeding. I can't believe I didn't realize that before. Secondly, I am very nervous because I had to really sit and ponder on how I was gonna have this Eddie introduction play out, so I really really really hope you guys enjoy this chapter (it's the longest chapter of this story so far).
> 
> My warnings for this chapter are hints of past/present domestic abuse, and a very slight hint of child abuse (I mean very very slight). If there's anything else you guys feel that I need to add let me know.
> 
> And without further ado, let's get on with the start of a beautiful relationship.

Abby’s been gone a while, still figuring herself out Buck would guess. As for him, he took the world’s (and TK’s) advice. He reflected on his life in LA and decided to change things.

First, he wasn’t going to ghost his mother. He called her, apologizing for his words and actions before promising to talk to her on the phone, because her being there for him (even if it’s on the phone) is enough to make up for the ten years. He just needs to know he has his mom and she needs to know that she has him.

Secondly, he needed to grow bonds. The days following Abby’s departure had been an eye opener for Buck, starting with the fact that the departure of the three most important people in his life were the only people he really interacted with outside of work. Sure, he hangs out with Chim and Hen and Bobby, but that’s just like hanging out with TK and his mom. They’re family. It’s just. . . different. So, counting all of them out, the only person outside his family that he enjoyed the company of was Abby.

That lead to the realization that a, he has a serious shortage of friends, and b, he craves a relationship. He misses what he had with Selina. He misses the feeling of having someone to go home to. Most of his family has that; Hen has Karen, Athena has her family, Chim—though single—befriended way more of the firehouse than Buck has, so even he has people to look forward to seeing outside the job. And with Bobby getting back on the dating scene, he’ll be up there with them.

And so, it lead him to the final look: who he desires. He waited for a sign. A skip in his heart. Being left breathless and speechless. Any person to make him weak in the knees the way he was for Sam and Selina and Abby. No luck. And maybe that was his sign, that he was meant to be with Abby. Nobody could affect him the way she could.

And so, he would wait for her, taking care of her apartment by living in it—something he’s grateful for because he really could not stand his roommates.

His life is looking brighter and the stress is lifting off him tremendously (he’ll have to _agonizingly_ thank TK later for his actually really great advice). Just like Bobby, he’s got a pep in his step, and as far as he could see, nothing was gonna make him trip and fall.

“I got another DXA scan and guess who dropped another half percent!” Buck’s an excited puppy as he strides into the house confidently towards Hen and Bobby.

Hen frowns in confusion. “What?”

“A DXA scan measures your body fat.” Buck holds up the phone for her to see the diagram. “You can see your percentage in every part of your body.”

“Oh yeah?” Chim strides up with a mocking smile. “They measure the fat in your head?”

“Ah, see, that would be funny—” It’s a little funny, because Buck always finds bickering with Chim funny. “—but we’re about a week away from submissions being due for the Hot Days, Smoldering Nights: Men of the LAFD wall calendar, and I’m already at my goal weight, so it seems like my head is clearly working perfectly.”

The calendar wasn’t actually a big deal to Buck, but when he overheard others discussing it he couldn’t help but get a little. . . competitive. It’s in his nature, really. It’s one big competition that Buck is determined to come out of on top.

“Do you really need to use that whole title?” Buck looks back to Hen’s deadpanned look. “You could just say ‘that idiotic, reductive, sexist calendar that insults the dignity of this organization and furthers the myth that all firefighters are male’.”

Buck can admit that it scared him when Hen made the drastic change from smile to looking blank. But he knows when she’s truly angry, and so, with a smile, “Yeah, that’s not any less words.”

She shakes her head but he can still see the small smile tugging at her lips.

“Hen, come on. It’s for charity.”

“No—Bobby, you too?” Hen looks betrayed and also very surprised.

“Well, why not?” And Buck thought Bobby was joking, but no. Dead serious. It’s gonna pain him when Buck wins Hot Days. “They say a man is at his sexiest when he reaches fifty.”

“Is that what they say?” Hen grimaces as Bobby nods enthusiastically. “That’s what they say?”

“Okay, you’re both wrong.” Chim squares his feet, something he does when he’s preparing to blow someone’s mind. “Alright? You see, I think sorority houses all across this great nation are ready for a new Asian sex symbol. It’s our time.”

Buck and Hen are smiling with amusement, both for slightly different reasons. “I think it’s great. Y’know, I like that you’re both going up for it.”

“Ohhhh. . .” Buck can really enjoy how they pretty much make fun of each other but it’s pretty much all fun and jokes. They’re all taken lightly. Bobby nods with an understanding smirk. “Because you don’t think that we have a chance.”

“Whoa, did I say that? I mean, sure, let’s be real. They are only picking one candidate from each station.”

“Okay _that_ is a beautiful man.”

. . .

. . .

. . .

_What?_

He’s frowning because Chim isn’t pointing at him. And now he realizes Bobby and Hen are also looking off at someone behind him.

“Where is the lie? And I like girls.”

And Buck’s going to pretend like that one definitely didn’t take a shot at his ego as he turns, eyes catching on the shirtless man in the changing room. From what he can see, his dark hair is just a bit longer than his, a little fluff at the front. He’s got dark stubble across his face. And. . . that’s about as far as Buck’s mind will let his eyes roam because there’s three things he doesn’t like about this guy.

He’s caused Buck’s heart to skip a beat.

He’s rendered him speechless.

He’s rendered him breathless.

Shit.

When he finds his voice—“Who the hell is that?”

He’s looking back at Bobby halfway because he’s looking for an answer and halfway to stop himself from staring ashamedly at the guy’s show of rolling his shirt over his pale toned—

“It’s Eddie Diaz. New Recruit.” No. No. No. No. Buck’s enough. The team doesn’t need more. It’s a perfect balance; Hen and Chim are the paramedics and Bobby and Buck are the heavy lifters. There’s no need for anyone else. “Graduated top of his class just this week. Guys over at Station Six were dying to have him, but I convinced him to join us.”

“What do we need him for?”

Bobby finds it hilarious how clammed up Buck’s getting. Sure, let them think he’s jealous—which he partly is—but he’s not about to tell his team that he wants the guy gone because this guy is about to mess up the sexual identity crisis Buck had all figured out.

“He served multiple tours in Afghanistan—” _He served multiple tours in Afghanistan, meh. MEH, Bobby!_ “—as an Army medic. Guy’s got a silver star. It’s not like he’s wet behind the ears. Come on, I’ll introduce you to him. He likes to be called Eight Pack.”

_Don’t tempt me, old man._

“Wow, silver star,” Hen purrs to Buck before striding over to the locker room.

Chim pats Buck on the stomach. “Better drop some more body fat there, butch.”

And they all head inside to make their friendly introductions, but Buck? Buck’s mad.

Little Buck was skipping happily inside his head alongside his friends and family down on road where Abby awaits at the end. Now all his friends are skipping without him because an Eddie Diaz has stuck out his foot.

And now Buck is tripping and falling.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Yeah, you gotta send someone to Hector’s Rim and Tire Shop. My boss fell on the nozzle of the compressor and he’s blowing up.”_

///////

Next time, Buck is sitting on the other side because Eddie being right in front of him is _way_ too close for comfort.

So, Buck might be acting just a little bit irrational, but he’s got good reasoning. . . so far.

All Eddie had to do was put on a freaking shirt and the team is over him like a bunch of mindless groupies. And he is _not_ jealous. He just finds it unfair how he had to work to build these friendships and Eddie rolls in like the new All-American boy next door and every just flocks right to him.

“So, Silver Star, huh?” Buck hates Chimney so much in this moment because he rather the ride just be silent all the way to the destination. He’s enjoyed watching buildings and trees go by versus making eye contact with Eddie (because he could definitely feel—and see out of the corner of his eye—the man studying him through glances before turning back to Hen and Chim).

“Yeah.”

“You save a platoon or something?” Buck only looks at Eddie because curiosity has a giant hold on him. Besides, Eddie’s looking out the window when Chim asks the question, so he doesn’t worry about—the buttons in the engine, so fascinating.

 _Wimp._ Because the moment Eddie turns to face Chim, his eyes glance back to Buck, and they have just a millisecond of eye contact before Buck abruptly focuses more on the front of the engine.

“No, no, nothing like that.” Buck’s not a wimp, and he looks back. One. . . two. . . three. . . seconds. See, he’s capable of being friendly. _Step Two: make conversation._ Eh. . . “Just a convoy.”

“Eddie, uh. . .” Hen smirks teasingly at Buck, and he’s doing his best to keep the frown off his face. _That. . . she’s lucky I love her._ “. . . you heard about the hot firefighter calendar?”

When Buck glares at her, she smiles big much to Eddie’s confusion.

“Sorry, the what?”

“It’s for charity.”

_Oh, really, Hen? I will remember this._

And now he looks like a jackass because everyone’s all smiles and happy and Eddie’s all happy and why is Buck being all petty? He’s not the jealous type and he can prove it.

“So, is your full name Eduardo?”

Eddie’s smile falls instantly and annoyance makes his way onto his face. _Wow, so much for being friendly. It was just a simple question._ “No.”

“Do people ever call you Diaz?”

“Not if they want me to respond.”

“Something’s gotta give. We got. . . We got Cap, Hen, Chimney, Buck. We can’t just call you Eddie.” Nicknames are Buck’s thing. He only gives nicknames to those he truly cared about. Ty, Mads, Abs, Chim, Hen, Pops, Dad (that one’s technically not a nickname but Owen earned his right to be called just that).

“Can’t tell if he’s being serious or not,” Eddie says, but it’s not to him. He’s looking between Chim and Hen and both are rolling their eyes at Buck. And it hurts. What’s wrong with a simple nickname. Now, not only is Eddie wrongfully annoyed at him, so is Hen and Chim.

“I like to always operate under the assumption that nothing he says is serious.”

And now it’s not even banter, it’s just plain mean. Chim was his banter buddy, but now he’s talking about him as if he’s not sitting right next to him.

Strike two for _Eduardo_. First, showing up and having people just flock to him like he’s been there forever. Now, turning his friends against him and making him feel like he’s inevitably being replaced.

One good thing came out of this, though. He knows that little Buck is getting back up in his head. He’s dusting himself off and continuing to skip because he just had a little mishap. Turns out the feeling from earlier was just jealousy.

And now he’s angry and jealous. And perfectly content with looking out the window for the rest of the ride.

*****

“Okay, Hector, can you hear me?” Bobby asks as they surrounded the man blown up like a balloon. His eyes are closed but he moves his head as best he can in a nod. “Alright, hang in there, buddy. Alright, let’s get him on his side. Maintain pressure on the wound.” They all move to Hector’s side, gripping a part of his side. “On three. One. . . two. . . three!”

Hector groans in pain as they lift him off the nozzle, laying him on the ground. “Okay. Easy, easy.”

Buck jumps up, fingers skimming along the sticker on the pole. “It’s a hundred pounds per square inch of air pumped through his entire body.”

“Breathing’s shallow,” Hen moves the stethoscope along Hector’s chest. “Heart’s racing. Air’s filled his stomach, his chest, even behind his eyelids. I’m more concerned about the space around his heart and lungs.”

“Okay, Eddie, start a nasal cannula. Chimney, get him some morphine.”

Buck watches as Chim and Eddie move into action. However, Chim struggles to inject the needle, and it looks like Eddie’s physically struggling to fit the tube into Hector’s nose.

“It’s like trying to inject a needle into stone.”

“The pressure’s pushing everything out. I can’t even get air through the nostril.”

Hen gazes over Hector in calculation. “Jugular venous distention, tachycardia, hypotension, diminished breath. . . we’re looking at tension pneumothorax.”

Bobby looks up to Buck. “The air pressure is collapsing his organs. We need to get in there and drain the fluid. Buck, I need you to get a fourteen-gage angiocath. We need to start decompressing the plural cavity.”

“Alright,” Buck kneels, grabbing the gage and moving to Hector.

“Want me to help?”

“I got it,” Buck answers a little sharply, not even glancing completely towards Eddie. He doesn’t notice the slight frown as he moves to unbutton Hector’s shirt, preparing to inject the gage.

“I’d go lower.”

This time he does look up at Eddie in confusion. “What? Um, no. Second intercostal space. Midclavicular line.”

He doesn’t like the look in Eddie’s eyes. They’re saying, ‘trust me’, and Buck sure as hell does not trust Eddie. “The chest wall is thinner at the fifth intercostal at the anterior axillary line. There’s a decreased chance of injuring any vital organs.” He looks to Bobby, as if asking for permission. “I’ve treated guys with collapsed lungs in combat.”

“Do it.”

_What!?_

Eddie looks back to Buck, glancing at the gage. “Please.” Buck hands it over with a frown. “Thank you.” And then to make matters worse. . . “Can you help me out with the shirt?”

Couldn’t get Hen or Chim—the _paramedics_ —to help him out. No. He had to rub it in that he can come in here, replace him, take over his job, and order him around.

He really doesn’t like this Eduardo guy.

///////

_“Um, TK?” the boy instantly shushes Buck as he approaches, and Buck frowns. He crouches next his brother, peeping over the banister to look down at Maddie’s new boyfriend. “Why are we spying on Doug?”_

_“I don’t trust him, Buck.” TK shakes his head, glaring at the man. “He started going through Maddie’s phone the moment she left to go to the bathroom.”_

_“I bet you she’ll do the same—”_

_“Um, Doug? What are doing—”_

_“Who the hell is Ev, Maddie?” Buck frowns along with TK as they look back at the two, seeing Doug gripping the phone in one hand and the back of Maddie’s neck. “Are you cheating on me!?”_

_“No! It’s just Evan! Doug, let go!”_

_“Who the hell is Evan?”_

_“Buck, okay!? He doesn’t go by Evan, but I have him in my phone as Ev.”_

_“So, if I call, Buck will answer?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Buck’s eyes widen, and he and TK bolt back to the room in time to catch Buck’s ringing phone. “Um, Mads? We’re in the same house, you could’ve just. . . y’know, shouted from downstairs.”_

_TK and Buck frown, shaking their heads._

_Doug has got to go._

_*****_

_“Yo! Yo! Yo!” Buck eyes go wide and then narrow as he zeros in on Doug standing over TK. TK’s sporting a busted lip and as for Doug. . . well, Buck would take a busted lip over that black eye. “What the hell are you doing!?”_

_And he moves fast, shoving Doug hard. He pulls TK up to his feet, inspecting his lip. “Are you okay?”_

_“Please, I know you saw the other guy.” TK snarls as Doug rises to his feet. “He was asking for it, the way he talks about Maddie like he owns her. He’s lucky you came in here before I could kick his pretty face in.” Buck turns, frowning at TK. “What? I’m angry, not blind.”_

_“What is going on here?” All three turn to face Maddy, who frowns in concern at TK and Doug._

_TK and Buck open their mouths to explain everything when Doug is moving forward, throwing his arms around the two with a very tight grip on their shoulders and a sweet smile. “Oh, you know. Rough housing with the boys got a little. . . rough.”_

_Maddie shakes her head fondly. “Glad to see you guys are getting . . along.”_

_“Yep.” Doug gives Buck and TK a sinister smile. “The best of friends.”_

_*****_

_“Seriously, I’m telling you, Maddy, this guy is not cool.”_

_“Buck, you’re being irrational. Doug is a great guy.”_

_“You don’t know Doug.”_

_“No, Buck, **you** don’t know Doug.”_

_“But when will you come back?”_

_“I promise I will visit when I can.”_

_*****_

_“Buck—”_

_“You’re gonna love this news Maddie! Selina and I—”_

_“Buck, I called to say that I love you.”_

_“I love you, too, Maddy. What is this about?”_

_“Nothing, I just love you.”_

_“Okay—Maddie? Hello? Maddie?”_

///////

Buck’s still so worked up about the day that when he enters the apartment, he doesn’t register the sound of running water. He’s tossing the keys onto the counter, setting his bag down and craving a bottle of—wine? An open bottle of wine. Next to a half-empty glass. Half-full? That’s beside the point.

He’s confused when he finally registers the sound of the shower running. When he looks to the bedroom, there’s clothes on the bed, woman clothes. Abby. Maybe this day isn’t gonna be a complete bust.

He begins to strip with a giant smile, his clothes leading a trail to the bathroom. He needs to get his mind off today, and a hot, sexy shower with his girlfriend is exactly what he needs.

The air is steamy.

Lust is rising (ahem, literally).

He’s pulling back the curtain with a lustful smile.

And it takes a second for him to register that the hair is brown and not bright orange.

The shriek is what brings him into reality as his hands fly to his crotch and she grabs the shower curtain to cover herself.

“Maddie!?”

“Damn it, Evan! Did you knock!?” Did he—In his own—what?

“Me!? What- what are you even doing here?”

“Well, I was in town and I wanted to see my little brother.”

He smirks, glancing down to his hands and back to her horrified expression. “Well, you did.”

“Yeah. . .”

And he can’t help but smile at her. She looks just as she had all those years ago. Beautiful, and here. She’s really here. . . and naked. . . and so is he. He gestures to the door. “I should probably. . .”

“Okay.”

“Okay, I’m gonna. . .”

“Uh-huh. Yep. Yep. Yeah.”

*****

“You think there is any way we can unsee that?” Because what he saw. . . he can still see it so clearly. Unfortunately.

Maddie rolls her eyes, chuckling softly. “Oh, come on. I used to give you baths.”

“Yeah, when I was two.” He hands her a plate of eggs and pancakes. Bobby’s been teaching him cooking since Abby left (because he really only relied on Bobby’s leftovers or fast food) but they’re only on breakfast. “Hey, how did you even get in here?”

“I told the building manager I was your sister.”

“And he just believed you?”

“Well, having boobs doesn’t hurt.” Yeah. . . he’d rather not picture that. And also, he makes a mental note to have a discussion with Frank the next time he sees him.

“How’d you know where I live?”

“Well, first, I went to the address the Christmas cards keep coming from and the guy said you were here.”

“Wait, so you _did_ get those Christmas cards?” That hurts. He didn’t get anything in return.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch much lately.”

“Three years, Maddie.” His voice is quieter, the underlying tone of hurt very evident. “I haven’t heard from you in three years.”

“Yeah, I know. . . and it’s not what I wanted.”

“Where is Doug?” That’s his real problem. Where Maddie goes, that demon follows.

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

. . . That’s an honest surprise. “You left him?”

“Finally.”

“Geez, Mads,” he smiles happily, just soaking in the fact that she’s back. “Come on, what took you so long?”

“What can I say? Mom was right?”

“Do they know?”

“No one knows. And please don’t tell them if they call.” Buck furrows his eyebrows because he can physically see the spike of panic within her. “I don’t want anyone to know that I’m here.”

That doesn’t sound like a person who’s free. That sounds like a person who’s on the run.

“Kind of sounds like you’re hiding out.”

“No. More like laying low.” She grabs the plate and her glass of wine, face changing from worry to happy in the blink of an eye. “So, what happened to you? Because this place is nice, and clean, and you just cooked me food, actual food. Is there a shallot in here?”

He laughs at her mocking tone, picking up a glass of wine—not because he’s a wine drinker. . . fine, he’s gotten into drinking wine. Doesn’t mean it trumps beer. “Yeah. My, uh, my boss at work is like Guy Fieri. He’s been teaching me. We have not made it past breakfast, though.”

“Well, it looks delicious.” Maddie gasps, giving Buck a sly smirk and glancing to his finger occasionally. “Is this place yours and Selina’s? Did you finally tie that knot?”

“Um, no. . .” Buck frowns slightly, hand rubbing against the front of his pants. “Things. . . didn’t work out between me and Selina.”

“But last I heard from you, you said you had news about the two of you.”

Buck nods, doing his best to keep his face neutral. “I. . . honestly can’t remember what that news could have been now. She’s. . . doing great and. . .” Buck reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his phone and turning it on. “. . .this is, uh. . . let me show you. . . This is my girlfriend’s place. I’m, uh. . . I’m looking after it while she’s out of town for a couple months, but, uh, she- she should be back soon.” Buck holds up a picture of him and Abby smiling happily. “This is her.”

“Aw. . .” Maddie smiles sweetly. “How soon?”

“Uh, I’m not really sure.” Buck sighs, sitting down. He wish Abby would just come home already. “Um, she was in Ireland, and now she’s in Italy. Said she’s looking to have an Eat, Pray, Love experience. Uh, to be honest, I don’t really know what that means.”

“But you’re still together?”

“Yeah. I mean, I mean, she said I should, y’know, do whatever I wanted while she was away, but. . .” He needs her now more than ever. Especially with Eduardo—he refuses to call him Eddie because that would imply that he considers him a friend (though he won’t say it to his face because he’s not about to start a fight at work)—around. “. . . what I want is for her to come back. I like the me that I am with her.”

Maddy smiles sadly, blinking a few times before shaking her head. “She’s banging other guys.” Buck’s eyes grow comically wide because of all things she could have said, that hit him like train. “I mean, that’s the ‘love’ part of her trip.”

“WHOA!” He throws his head back and laughs genuinely because he was _so_ not ready for the bluntness (or the sentence entirely) and it’s just so funny how honest Maddie can be sometimes. “Come on. So, you did come all the way from Pennsylvania to just crap on my life? That’s a thing?”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m just being protective.”

He nods skeptically. “Okay. Better be because I had enough of that from TK.”

“Wait. . . Tyler? He’s here? You’re talking to him again?”

“Yeah. And you missed him. He was here a few months back on a vacation. He’s back in New York, but I bet he would love to hear from you.”

“I’ll make sure to give him a call. Tell him to come down again so we can gang up on you.”

“Wow. . . I see how it is.” Maddie and Buck laugh again, and he’s dwelling over the fact of how easy it was to just. . . fall right back into the same motion with her. “Anyway, uh, this is your first time here in LA. Gonna see the sights, hang around for a little bit?”

Maddie’s smile falls because they both know what Buck is really trying to ask. _Are you leaving me again?_ “I’m just passing through.”

Buck nods, trying to compose himself because he felt the same with his mom. Why come to him, give him this sense of happiness, and then leave again and make the hole they made the first time bigger than before? But he’s learning that it’s much better than never seeing them again. “Listen, even if you are just here for a few days, uh. . . Welcome to LA. It was getting pretty lonely around here.”

///////

Buck is lifting weights when he glances back, catching Eduardo striding into the gym and giving Buck a look before focusing on the punching bag. He hears him throw a few punches, and when he looks back, the man is twisting fast with a rear kick and Buck blinks once. . . twice. . . and determines that feeling deep down is the need to show off as well.

He makes his way over to the weights, grabbing another seventy pounds to add to the ends of the bar as Chim strides in as well. And the smirk the Asian man gives him when he glances from Eddie to Buck. . . is not okay. So, by the time he’s put the weights on the bar, Buck’s grown this confidence to prove that Eddie doesn’t affect him. He’s not worried, jealous, or attracted. . . not that anyone would think he is attracted to Eddie because he’s one hundred percent straight.

He picks up the selfie stick he set on the floor and turns on his camera, holding up an arm to flex his biceps and smiling as he snaps the photo. The angle of the phone is right enough to where he can see Eddie stop pounding the bag to full on watch Buck snap his selfie.

“You’re in the wrong light, man.”

 _Did I ask?_ “Some of us don’t need lighting to look good.”

“Hey Eddie,” Chim says, approaching the man. “What did you mean by ‘the wrong light’?”

“The light in this room is flat and blue. Makes you look soft.” Buck scowls. Is Eddie insulting him now? Adding more insult on top of injury to insult? “If you want to look lean and muscles to pop, you need warm side light. I’ll show you.”

Buck doesn’t know what compels him to set down his selfie stick and move over to the two, but that’s exactly what he does as Eddie reaches down to pick up his phone.

“These are the ones I sent in for the calendar.” The trip and fall this time is different because Eddie isn’t sticking out his foot this time. No, this time Buck is skating down the sidewalk and Eddie is the skates, constantly making Buck fumble as he tries to keep from going down. Because the first picture? A simple black and white of Eddie in a white tee holding a pup. That’s not so bad. But then he swipes, and this time he’s sporting the uniform, shears in one hand that he holds up over his shoulder. The last one, Buck loathes it. It’s in color, and Eddie’s still got the uniform— _half_ the uniform on, handle of the ax held across his shoulders. Buck has the perfect view of the hair on his chest, and he thinks if Eddie just leans a little bit more back, exposing more of the happy trail he can spot. . .

And that’s his cue to leave. He moves back over to the bench and away from _Eduardo_. “It’s, uh, kind of cheating. . . submitting pictures by a professional photographer.”

He chuckles lightly, and when he looks up from sitting down on the bench, it seems as though Eddie’s smile is pure amusement. “The photographer’s twelve. She’s my niece. She’s a master at the iPhone filters.”

“Your niece did this?” Chim asks, marveling at the photos.

“Yeah.”

“You think she’d be willing to take my submission pics for me? I’m told I photograph like an Asian Fabio.”

“Sure, she would, yeah. Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Ah, y’know,” Buck says, lifting smaller weights. “You really shouldn’t get his hopes up like that. No offense, Chim.”

It’s the usual bantering that they do, constantly insulting each other. But it’s all usually taken lightly and Chim would respond with something just as insulting but it would be all in good fun. However, Chim’s smile falls and his gaze hardens.

“No offense taken, Evan.” Buck falters, frowning slightly because Chim _knows_ how that makes him feel. And he doesn’t know why this is so different from when he was basically implying the same thing the other day ago. Then again, that was before Eduardo showed up. And now everything he says is wrong.

He pretends not to notice when Eduardo strides over, calculating and judgmental gaze solely on himself.

“What’s your problem, man?”

He looks up at him. There’s that saying, “I got 99 problems, but you ain’t one”. Buck wishes he could say that, but the truth is Eddie is the root of all his problems at the moment. Striding in here so easy, getting everyone to like him, slotting himself so easily into the team. . . Buck worked hard to build everyone relationship he has within the firehouse. Sure, he wasn’t exactly the warmest, but it’s not like everyone was flocking to him the way they did Eddie when he first arrived. Hell, even Hen admitted choosing a dog over him. And though he doesn’t want to admit it, he hates that Eduardo’s face is so fucking pretty. He wants the man out of his personal space. Right. Now.

“Okay. You.” He’s standing, looking down because he’s a good few inches taller than him. “You’re my problem. Your comfort level. Y- you’re not supposed to just walk in here like you’ve been here for years. It’s meant. . .” Jesus, Eddie needs to back up a few good feet. Just out of the sunlight where the sweat among his collar bone glistens and he struggles to not look at the man’s chest. “. . . meant to be a getting-to-know-you period. You’re meant to respect your elders.”

“You’re not his elder, Buck.”

 _Shut up, **Howard**. _It was so tempting to just jab at the man like Chim did to him.

“Look, I—in no way—meant to, uh, be too familiar or step on anybody’s toes. I know you’re going through some personal stuff right now.”

His nostrils flare because what could he possibly know about his life. “What personal stuff?”

“I know your girlfriend recently broke up with you and you’re coming to terms with that.” No. Abby’s on a trip. She’s coming back, and he’s here waiting for her when she does. They never broke up.

“No, I’m not.” He wishes he could go back and pretend like he never asked the world for a damn sign of what to do. Because it resulted in TK leaving and his mom leaving and Abby leaving. Now Abby’s still gone, and just when he figured he knew what it was he wanted along came Eddie, making him question everything. _Death. Death, now please. I’d like to die._ “And she didn’t break up with me. Who told you that?”

He looks to Chim in betrayal, and he quickly averts his gaze, going back to pull ups. “Twenty-one. . .”

“I’m just saying, I hear you’re a good guy, and. . . I’m sorry you’re going through pain, but. . . you don’t need to take it out on me /or- or be threatened by me. We’re on the same team.”

“Why would I be threatened by you?”

Eddie smiles, a nice wide smile that is nothing but warm and kind. And Buck, he needs to have a chat with whatever unforeseen force is directing his life. When he demanded death, he did not mean death by neck bite from the sharpest canines he’s seen which he never knew could be sexy until now and he _really_ needs Eddie to back up.

“Exactly. There’s no need to be. We do the same thing. I’ve just done it while people are shooting at me is all.”

He wants to clock him. One good five fingered knuckle sandwich to the face. He can shoulder past Chim and Hen’s newfound interest in the guy, that’ll die down. He can eventually stomach his jealousy. He can ignore his far from appropriate thoughts. But downplaying his service of saving lives _every day_? It doesn’t matter if people are shooting at him or not, what he does is important and if Eddie wants to measure dicks on saving lives, then so be it.

And he can take that stupid damn star and shove it up his ass.

Buck’s grateful that Eddie walks away.

He’s grateful that Bobby is standing at the base of the steps, eyes watching the interaction.

He’s grateful for the bell signaling another call.

When they all move to climb into the engine, he climbs into the driver’s seat because he needs something to keep him from going through on his urge to see what that pretty face would look like with a black eye.

And Bobby can give him all the pointed glances he wants, he’s going to avoid Eddie the best he can.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Help. It went off. I don’t know what happened.”_

_“What went off, sir?”_

_“Grenade.”_

///////

“Fire and Rescue. Hello?”

“I’m back here.” The voice is strained and muffled, and Buck can’t tell where it’s coming from. “Help me.

He’s looking at all the war artifacts strangely. “Some kind of militia nut?”

“I’m back. . .”

“Can’t tell where that voice is coming from,” Bobby says, peeking into room after room.

“Back here. . .”

Bobby opens the door and enters the room as the man sighs in relief. “Hey.”

“Oh, thank God.”

“What’s your name, sir?”

“Charlie.”

“Alright, tell us what happened, Charlie.”

“Damn grenade went off while I was taking it apart.”

“Why are you taking apart a grenade?” Seriously. There are some things Buck doesn’t do. Stupidly risk his life is one of those.

“I was cleaning it. I’m a collector.”

“No kidding.”

“You pulled the pin?”

“Oh, it ain’t that kind of grenade. It’s a forty-mike-mike. A practice round for an M203 grenade launcher. I picked it up at a flea market in Brea, part of my ‘Nam collection. My screwdriver must have touched the propelling charge. I—”

“Alright, I see metal. A lot of shrapnel. Femoral artery has been nicked. We got to get him transported now.”

*****

“I’ve got an adult male, age sixty-five, with a large piece of shrapnel in his right thigh. Femoral artery damage with profuse bleeding, ten minutes out.” Bobby lets the paramedics take over the gurney, Eddie inside the ambulance helping. “Buck, I want you to travel with him to the hospital, keep him stable.”

Him? He’s got Eddie in there, what does Bobby need him for? He’s looking from Eddie to Bobby’s gaze that leaves no room for arguing. He’s rolling his eyes, sighing. “Copy that, Cap.”

“Hey. You got to learn how to play nice. It’s one team, Buck.”

“Hey, Nash, am I gonna be alright?”

“My boys have got you. But you might want to consider switching to collective baseball cards after this.”

The doors to the ambulance close, and Buck makes an obvious effort to not look at Eddie.

“Hey.” He can feel Eddie pause in his shifting to look down at Buck.

“Hey.” Buck’s reply is sharp and short and he makes no move to look at the older man. Instead, he smiles, genuinely, at Charlie. “You’re gonna be alright, Charlie Brown.”

Charlie chuckles lightly. “My brother would call me that a lot. You got any siblings?”

“Older brother, younger sister,” Buck says before frowning, shaking his head with a laugh. “No, _younger_ brother, _older_ sister.”

“They got any nicknames for you?”

“Well, my sister calls me Ev and my brother calls me Bucky. I call my sister Mads, and I call my brother Ty. Everyone calls him TK because his name is Tyler Kennedy. I tried to call him Ken-doll once, he kicked me where it hurts.”

Charlie and Buck laugh once more before he moves to help Eddie. Charlie’s fallen quiet, and now Buck’s finally focusing on Eddie as he dresses Charlie’s wound.

“I guess you’ve seen a lot of shrapnel wounds.”

“My share.”

“You ever seen a guy with a length of rebar stuck through his skull?”

“What are we measuring here, Buck?” _You tell me, you started it. Eddie._ “Need to change those dressings. They’re soaking through. Hang in there, Charlie. Almost there.”

“I’m just saying, working the streets of LA is not exactly stress-free. May not be the same kind of pressure you have in a war zone, but. . .” Eddie’s moving fast, slapping Buck away and he’s leaning back with a frustrated frown. He honestly doesn’t want to hate Eddie. He’s not much of the angry type. But it’s gonna be hard to play nice if the guy continues to just cut in when he’s trying to do his job.

“I thought you said this was a practice round.”

He doesn’t like the way Eddie looks now though, panicked and scared. He follows Eddie’s gaze to Charlie’s leg, up at Charlie’s confused expression, and then back at Eddie.

“It is.”

“Uh, w- w- what’s going on?” Because he sure as hell would like to know why Eddie’s all of a sudden so tense.

“You see that cap?” Buck looks back at the gold cap. “Practice rounds have blue caps. Gold caps are live.” Well. . . shit. Eddie turns, banging against the wall separating them from the drivers. “Pull over!”

*****

“Yup. There she is.”

“He’s got a live round embedded in his thigh.”

Buck’s confused entirely. “Uh, I thought this thing already went off.”

“The launch grenade has two components,” he glances at Eddie, who seems to lean closer to him as he gestures at the x-ray and glances occasionally at Buck. “Gunpowder which makes it travel and an explosive charge that makes it go boom.”

“Okay, so why didn’t this one go boom?”

“It’s fitted with a proximity fuse.” Buck just looks at him blankly. If Eddie had to explain the grenade to him, then he’s gonna have to explain a proximity fuse. Does he look like an expert in bomb ordnance? “It’s a little smart sensor that tells the cap it’s traveled a safe enough distance from the shooter to explode. From his hand to his leg probably wasn’t far enough.”

“Well, we can’t bring him inside a hospital full of people, not with that still stuck inside him.”

“We called the military for help.” Buck raises his eyebrows in surprise. The Bomb Squad called in military aid for a bomb?

“The military? Uh, can’t you do it? You’re the bomb squad.”

“You can’t diffuse a grenade. We need to find someone who knows how to pull that thing out of him without setting it off. They’re sending someone up from Pendleton. Should be here within the hour. He doesn’t have an hour.”

“I can do it.” Buck looks to Eddie’s determined gaze and for crying out loud, could he stop with the eye contact. It’s getting hard to hate him at this point. His reasonings have dropped, and now he’s down to pure attraction. And he can’t hate him for that because it’s not even his damn fault. “If he doesn’t go to surgery soon, he’ll die.”

“You’ve done this before?”

“Well, none of the guys I served with were dumb enough to shoot a live round in themselves, but I’m familiar with the ordnance.”

“I’m in.” Bobby looks at Buck in surprise. Just a few minutes ago the young man was less than willing to ride along with Eddie, now he’s following behind him. Because everyone was right. Buck does need to play nice. All his tenseness stemmed from his own fear of attraction, and honestly, Eddie’s been nothing but kind despite the way Buck’s been treating him.

And he doesn’t want to fight with Eddie. Besides, he needs more friends in his life.

*****

When his shift is up, the first thing Buck is going to do is figure out how to not overthink the many facial expressions and postures of Eddie Diaz. Like now, he needs a plan for when his mind starts to dwell on the fact that Eddie makes the vest look oh so good.

“See you inside,” Eddie says, holding Buck’s gaze for a hot second and patting him on the shoulder before moving over to the ambulance and waiting for him.

“Alright, listen, Buck,” Bobby begins as Buck follows Eddie. “You don’t have to do this.”

“You think I’m gonna let the new guy have all the fun?” He smiles, tightening his vest. “Besides, you wanted us to bond. We might end up real close.”

He grabs the box Eddie holds up, climbing into the ambulance first before Eddie follows.

“How you feeling there, Charlie?”

“Like a world-class idiot.” Charlie shakes his head in shame. “My wife, if she was still alive, she’d be here now saying ‘I told you so’. Well, maybe she’ll be able to tell me in person in about a minute.”

“Well,” Buck gives Charlie a reassuring smile. “That conversation’s gonna have to wait. Nobody’s leaving this life tonight.”

“Start the drip. What branch did you say you were in, Charlie?”

“I didn’t. I always wanted to be a Marine. I tried to enlist during ‘Nam, but I was 4F, an enlarged heart. So instead, I spent the last forty years teaching seventh grade.”

“See there, Charlie? Not all heroes serve on the battlefield.”

“That’s very kind of you to say that.” Charlie’s head lolls, and then his eyes close. And Buck looks to Eddie as Eddie looks back at Buck, eyebrow raised.

“You ready?”

He takes a second to calm his nerves before nodding. “Yeah.” He pulls back the gaze, giving access to the wound. “He’s losing a lot of blood.”

“Keep pressure on it.” Buck presses his hands on both sides of the wound and Eddie hisses. “Not- not too much pressure. There it is.”

“Alright, so pull it out. Come on.”

“I gotta. . . be careful. . . The sensor measures. . . the distance traveled. . . based on. . . how many rotations the shell. . . made. . . after the launch.” Buck grimaces as Eddie carefully pulls at the cap. “The key is. . . not to turn the shell while we pull it out.”

“Okay, yeah, so don’t turn it.”

“Gonna have to. . . just. . . a. . . bit. . .” Eddie groans as he lifts the cap out of Charlie’s leg and Buck quickly moves. “Get the box.”

He’s already holding the box out when Eddie turns, carefully setting it along the bottom. He smiles in relief, and Eddie smiles right back, eyes twinkling and canines showing. A big, genuine smile—shit. Both their smiles fall as the cap rattles from within the box, and Buck stabilizes it, setting it down gently so he doesn’t end up accidentally moving it yet again. Then they’re grabbing Charlie and wheeling him to the glass doors, where the doctors take it from there.

“You’re badass under pressure, brother.” Eddie turns back to him, giving him a respectable nod. And he doesn’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the compliment. Maybe it’s Eddie’s calculating gaze which seems to roam Buck’s face the moment a smile spreads upon it. Maybe it’s the way the vest looks on him topped of with strands from his fluff sticking out of place. Either way, Buck’s flustered and smiling like an idiot.

“Me?” _No genius. He’s talking to the guys standing outside the ambulance just waiting. Yes you!_

“Hell yeah.” He takes a strange pleasure in the way Eddie’s eyes flick down and back up to his face. “You can have my back any day.”

“Yeah. Or, y’know, you could. . .” _S- nope. M- stop it. L- absolutely not._ Buck clears his throat, ignoring the whisper at the back of his mind. “You could have mine.”

New list for Buck, because he’s thrown away his “All the Things I Hate About You” list. Now he’s got the “All the Things I Like About You” list.

Number one, that damn genuine smile. Eyes practically closed and teeth showing, especially those goddamn canines. New goal, make Eddie smile as much as possible. He may be afraid of what he feels for Eddie, but he won’t let it stop him from making a friend.

And maybe secretly taking pleasure in seeing said friend’s smile.

“Deal.”

“Nice work, fellas.” Bobby nods to the both of them, smirking at their clasped hands as they shake on their deal. “I’m glad you both made it out of there.”

“The guy’s a professional, Cap. I was never really worried.”

Buck sees the explosion before hearing and feeling it. Bobby is the first to duck, followed by Buck and Eddie just jumps back slightly. All three furrow their eyebrows at the now destroyed ambulance, and Buck turns back to Eddie questioningly.

Eddie gestures behind him, a small smile on his face and voice softer than before, portraying that of an innocent child. “You guys hungry?”

And he smiles at Buck’s scrunched face before striding off to remove the vest.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Yeah. We need help. My friend got a microwave stuck to his head.”_

_“His head is stuck in a microwave?”_

_“No. It’s cemented on.”_

///////

“And here I was thinking that faking an air emergency was the dumbest thing a person would do.”

“Faking an air emergency?” Eddie looks at Buck in confusion, the one where he smiles and his eyes ask the person to go on.

“For Valentine’s Day,” Buck shakes his head as they follow Bobby up the path to the pool. “Guy was proposing. Nothing as romantic as giving a person a heart attack.”

“What’s his name?” Bobby asks as they jog up to the boy with a microwave on his head.

“Jesse.”

“Jesse, this is Captain Nash, LAFD. Can you hear me?” Jesse remains motionless, sitting patiently. “Alright, he is totally cut off in this thing. Let’s get some screwdrivers, try to get this frame off.”

Buck holds the boy steady and Eddie holds up the screwdriver, starting at the top of the microwave.

“What do you got, Hen?”

“Pulse 120, BP 150/110.”

Jesse’s legs bounce up and down quickly, and he reaches up to claw at his neck. Buck frowns, heart aching because who’s friends shoves their head in a microwave? “He’s panicking.”

“Alright, he’s starting to choke.”

“Saliva’s probably aspirated through the breathing tube.”

Everyone protests as Jesse stands, moving around frantically, but in his panic he loses his footing and falls right into the pool. Buck doesn’t hesitate just jumps in right behind Jesse because that’s the part he’s good at. It surprises him and relieves him when he sees Eddie appear on the other side of Jesse.

They both grab the microwave, pulling Jesse upright and to the surface, laying his limp body on the ground.

“Alright, watch his neck.”

“His pulse is weak.”

“I have no respiration.”

“Is there a plastic bag in there or something?”

“Yeah, we put it on his head before we poured the concrete.” And the award the most monumental idiots ever goes to. . . two men that Buck is growing a strong distaste for by the second. “Please don’t let him die. He’s my best friend since kindergarten.”

“I can’t get in there.”

“Yeah, we had thirty minutes to get him out of there. Now we got thirty seconds.”

“No response to sternal rub.”

“Pulse is fading. Still no respiration.”

“Alright, Buck, once we get this frame off, you and I are gonna go hammer and chisel on that block.”

Buck nods as Chimney leans forward, starting compressions. Eddie finishes the last screw and they quickly take apart the microwave, Bobby reaching for the hammer and chisel.

“Alright, Buck, I’m hammer, you’re chisel. Let’s go.” Bobby holds out the chisel, but Buck tentatively reaches for the hammer. He needs to blow off a little steam.

“I can do this.” Bobby fixates the chisel, and Buck swings the hammer. _Jesse. . . you need. . . new friends._ The cement cracks after the third strike, and they waste no time move the cement away. Seconds later, Jesse’s up and coughing, and Buck’s breathing a sigh of relief, giving Eddie a fist bump.

“Shay Reed here, fans.” _You’ve got to be fucking kidding me._ Buck frowns tremendously as the boy crying earlier about his friend dying turns his camera on, smiling and joking as if Jesse weren’t about to die at their hands. “And today’s Shay-nanigan is maybe our most intense yet.”

Bobby turns around to with incredulous annoyance and anger. “Are you filming this!?”

“Yeah, bro. If we didn’t film it, it didn’t happen.”

Buck shakes his head, frowning. “You were just crying, like, two minutes ago.”

“Yeah, two minutes ago, he was gonna die. Now he’s gonna live and be a legend. Say hello, Shay’s Army!”

“Hello, Shay’s Army.” Bobby snatches the phone out of Shay’s hand, much to the confusion of Shay and his African American friend.

“Wait, what the—what the hell man? What are you do—”

Bobby drops the phone to the ground, rears back his foot, and kicks it into the pool, all while Buck watches with a satisfied smile. “Goodbye, Shay Army!”

“Dude!”

“Hey,” Buck says, rubbing along Jesse’s back. The boy looks up, still focusing on controlling his breathing. “Get some new friends.”

///////

“Okay, what about GI?” Buck smiles as if he just came up with the best thing since sliced bread. “Like GI Joe. Hey, GI. You know that’s a great nickname.”

“Sounds like gastrointestinal.” _Thank you, Hen, for that lovely positivity._

Eddie chuckles, looking up from the game. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Alright everybody, listen up!” Bobby strides into the loft with a smile. “I’ve got an announcement to make. I just got off the phone with the people from the calendar, and they have made their choice.”

“Well, no hard feelings, no matter who won.” Buck smiles brightly, bumping fists with Eddie.

“That’s good, Buck, cause they didn’t pick you.”

“Well, it’s obviously a fix. No, congratulations anyways, GI!” There goes Eddie’s damn chuckle again, face full of brightness.

“They didn’t pick him either.”

Wow. Bobby’s smiling slyly at Buck. “No? You?”

“No.”

He turns his gaze at the sound of a crunch, landing on Chim. He freezes, eyes widening before turning to look behind him, as if anyone could be behind him besides the fridge and cabinets.

“No way. You got to be kidding me.”

“No. Congratulations, Chim. Or should I say Mr. April?”

“No way. Are you serious?”

“Chimney!” Buck shouts, heading over with Eddie towards the new calendar model.

“You’re a calendar boy now.”

“You serious?”

“Mr. April, buddy.”

Eddie holds up a hand for a high five. “Thirty days of Chimney.”

“Congratulations!” Chim smiles, high fiving Buck happily.

“You did it.”

“Thank you.”

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” They all turn, catching Athena strolling in clad in her uniform. Bobby moves up to her, and Buck really doesn’t like where this is going. She reaches up, pulling the Captain in for a kiss.

God-damnit. The bastard cost Buck a hundred-dollar bill. Bobby turns back around, raising an eyebrow. “What are you all looking at?”

A traitor.

A fiend.

“There’s no more announcements.”

Hen turns around cockily. “Pay up.”

Chim and Buck groan, fishing for their wallets while Eddie just watches in amusement and Bobby turns around in surprise.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. You knew?”

“Sir, first you two were happy at the same time, then you were both pissed off at the same time. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“And, uh, you good with this?”

“Girl, I’m just mad at myself for not fixing you up in the first place.”

Hen snatches the bill, and Buck shakes his head, glancing at Eddie’s twinkling eyes.

“NO!” Buck moves away from the island while Eddie just shimmies behind him with a little dance. He can see the ‘I told you so’ on the tip of the man’s tongue.

“Come on, let me say it.”

“No.”

Eddie chuckles continuing to dance around and only stopping to let Bobby officially introduce him to Athena. He chats shortly before moving to where Buck sits, bumping shoulders with him as he scoots right into his personal bubble and giving him a sly smile.

Buck groans, tossing his head back. “Fine.”

“I toooooold you so.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’mma punch you in that pretty face.”

“Aw, you think my face is pretty.”

“Don’t test me, Eddie.”

“Yessir, Buckaroo.”

///////

_“It’s a sign.”_

“That this is the start of a great friendship? Absolutely.”

_“You know good and well that’s not what I mean, Buck.”_

“No, not really.”

_“Really. Alright, recall every moment you’ve had with Eddie. When did you think about Abby?”_

“. . .”

_“Or Sam?”_

“. . .”

_“Right. I bet you that you were so focused on Eddie that you didn’t give a second thought about either of them. Which means it’s a sign that a, it’s time to move on from both Sam and Abby, and b, your line’s a little curvy.”_

“Eddie is just a _friend_.”

_“Mhm, that’s what they all say. . . Found it! I’m calling it. Lemme just write it down for future reference.”_

“Calling what?”

 _“Buck and Eddie. . . Beddie—wait no, Buddie. The grand old ship Buddie shall forever sail because even if they won’t be together romantically, they will always be Buddies.”_ TK chuckles to himself. _“I humor myself.”_

“Yeah, Ty, I’mma have to call you back.”

_“Wait! No. Okay, I’ll drop the ship talk. . . for now. Bu—”_

Buck hangs up and pockets his phone, smile falling as his eyes move from the packed suitcase to Maddie sitting quietly on the couch. He nods, trying to contain the frustration rising within him.

“Leaving already?”

“Road ahead awaits.” Maddie nods, but he can hear her nervousness in her dry laugh, can see the nervousness in the way she rubs her hands together and avoids looking at Buck.

“I’m more concerned with the road behind you.” She frowns, still not looking at Buck, and now he’s full on worried. It’s so easy to feel like her older brother sometimes, especially when it comes to protecting her. “Maddie, what really happened with Doug? Why are you running away from him?”

She shakes her head, finally glancing at him with sad eyes. “No. I’m not gonna bring my little brother into this.”

“Standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I want to be standing. There’s nothing you can do to stop your family from trying to protect you. You know if I were to call right now Ty would drop everything and be here within a heartbeat.” She nods with a sniffle, casting her eyes down to the floor. He sighs, moving to sit on the ottoman in front of her. “Maddie, are you in some kind of danger?”

“The stuff that mom and Owen hated about him, that dad even hated about him, that you and Ty picked up on even as teenagers, it all got worse.” He knows what she’s talking about. Mom and Owen had picked up on hints of rudeness, snippy remarks he would say that didn’t always sit right. Buck and Ty had picked up on his use of force, tending to catch him manhandling their sister when he thought no one was looking. Hell, even Daniel had caught onto Doug’s over-possessiveness, though Buck still hates the man. “Much worse over the last year or so. And when I threatened to leave, he threatened to kill me.”

Buck’s looking back up at her, a spike of fear and anxiety flowing through him. And now, he might just go on forever dwelling over the fact that _I could’ve lost my sister and never would have known._

It hurts him to see those he loves get hurt. And his heart breaks as he looks into Maddie’s tearful eyes, her voice wavering. “And he meant it.” She scoffs darkly, shaking her head in shame. “Y’know, when women in abusive relationships used to come into the hospital, I got to be honest, I would pass judgement. Like, why don’t you just leave him? Now I get it. It’s, like, you can’t even believe it’s happening.”

“But you broke free. . . and I’m proud of you.” She looks at him, broken down and hurt, and he keeps her gaze locked with his, wants her to feel that sense of safety of having not to run because he’s right here. Doug and anyone else intending to hurt his sister will have to do it over his dead body. “But now is not the time to be alone, alright? So- so- so you. . . you should stay here. Alright? I- I got. . . I got plenty of room, and- and, hey, if Doug comes looking, then. . . I know a lot of cops. Very scary, very intimidating cops.”

“He won’t.” Maddie wipes away some of the tears, a small smile on her lips. “He doesn’t know you live here. He doesn’t know what you do.”

“Okay, well that’s perfect. You can start over.” He wants her to stay. He doesn’t want Maddie to go. “I can help you. I can help you get a great nursing job at one of the hospitals.”

“No.” Buck is afraid because for a minute, he thinks she’s refusing to stay. “I really miss helping people, but I can’t do that job every day, looking over my shoulder wondering who’s walking in the front door.”

“Okay, so you wanna help people. . . but not deal with them face-to-face.”

“Yeah.”

And Buck smiles because he knows the perfect job. “I think I might have an idea.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I think this is the fastest I've ever written a chapter but staying true to the season 2 premiere, Eddie's introduction gets a two day premiere. Back to back, Eddie and Buck. Yay. Shout out to my boy, Probie, and shame on Captain Strand for sticking him on the sidelines when homeboy got some sweet parkour moves.
> 
> There is a death in this chapter. Other than that, everything's good (but still let me know if you think otherwise).
> 
> Enjoy and stay safe y'all!

“Alright, Buckaroo.” Buck raises an eyebrow at Chim as he snatches up a tomato. “If you were not a member of the LAFD, what would you be doing?”

“Uh. . .” Buck honestly doesn’t give it much thought. He came here to save lives, and if he weren’t doing that, he’d probably still be reeling over Selina and Aimée’s deaths. “I don’t know.” And then he frowns because why is he being asked this? “I’m not getting fired, am I?”

He looks at Bobby in slight fear as Bobby cocks his head in confusion. So, no?

“That’s inevitable,” Chim mumbles, and Buck rolls his eyes. Yeah, his job is fine. . . for now.

“He’d be a golden retriever,” Hen states with a smirk as he moves around her to also sit on a stool by the island.

“Or a bartender,” Chim guesses, which Buck nods to. He probably would go back to his old job if he weren’t part of the LAFD. “No, no, no—bouncer at a bar!”

Hen chuckles as Buck rolls his eyes. “Bouncer at a strip club.”

The two high five each other, but Buck’s too preoccupied. He’s worried about Maddie’s situation along with stressed over trying to figure out his feelings for Abby and Eddie.

“What’s going on with you, kid?”

“Traffic sucks in this town unless you’re driving ten tons of engine with sirens.” Yeah, Buck isn’t about to just spill his guts about his familial issues. And besides, traffic was a bitch, too. “It took me almost two hours to get from Abby’s place to the call center downtown then back over here. I’ll just tell Maddie she needs to start Ubering.”

“How’s your sister settling in down there?”

“Y’know, she’s a Buckley. Practically running the place.” He smiles brightly because he loves his sister and thinks the world of her. In no way shape or form did he mean to imply that he somehow runs things around here. Hen and Chim are giving him deadpanned looks and carrying their food over to the table before Buck can correct himself, however. “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”

“They know,” Bobby says with a laugh, shaking his head as Eddie groans, plopping into the seat next to him as Bobby cooks up another omelet. Eddie gives Buck a grimacing smile of confusion, glancing at the tomato in his hand.

“Tell me you’re not about to eat that like a damn apple.” In response, Buck raises the tomato to his mouth, taking a large, slow bite out of it. Bobby chuckles as Eddie cringes and gags. “Disgusting.”

“I mean, everyone eats their fruits like that—”

“Tell me you’re not one of those people who thinks a tomato is a fruit.”

And much to the amusement of the Captain—and despite both having shown being tired the moment they arrived—they dive into a heated argument over the classification of a tomato.

*****

“Edmundo.” Buck smiles, crooning the name and dancing around the man in question in the locker room. Eddie finally gave into Buck’s pestering, spilling that Eddie was short for Edmundo, not Eduardo. “Edmundo. Edmundo. Edmundo.”

“Evan. Evan. Evan.” Eddie retorts, and there’s something he likes about the way his name—his actual first name—rolls off Eddies tongue. He normally doesn’t like people saying his name at all, and usually when it’s used it’s spat out like a weapon. Eddie, though, says his name the same way Maddie does, with warmth and kindness and he doesn’t mind hearing it when it comes out like that.

“Howard. Howard. Howard.” The two turn to Chim, eyebrows raised. Chim throws his hands up. “Oh, my bad. Am I intruding on a private moment? I was feeling a bit left out of the loop.” He turns to Eddie, nodding towards the engines. “Could you help us out?”

“Sure.” Eddie nods, and he pats Buck on the shoulder. “Coming?”

“I’ll be there in a minute, let me just change.”

~~

Buck has finished changing when he feels the trembles. Everyone looks around in confusion as it grows and grows until the ground is rumbling. He hears someone yell “earthquake!” and sees carts begin to roll around. Through the glass he can see Eddie roll out from under the engine, head whipping around in confusion because all around is chaos as everything falls and slides.

Buck ushers the people in the locker rooms out quickly, diving to the floor just in time as the window shatters, the spray of glass just missing him. He tries to climb to his feet, but it’s kind of hard to when the ground is shaking so bad. He slips, knocking his head against the hard floor before groaning and hopping to his feet again, shaking off the haziness and moving out of the locker room.

“Is anybody else back there?” It’s Bobby, but it’s hard to see because a cloud of white is obscuring the view slightly.

“No!” Buck shouts, covering his eyes as he moves through the cloud.

“Let’s go, Buck!”

Bobby reaches forward and he grabs Bobby’s forearm tightly, rushing outside with the rest of the 118.

///////

Buck always picks the spot by Eddie or Eddie always picks the spot by Buck. It all depends on who climbs into the engine first. Either way, Buck’s close enough that he can see the worry etched on Eddie’s face as his fingers move across his phone.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, there’s no service.” Eddie frowns, finally looking up from his phone. “Text won’t even get through.”

Buck didn’t bother trying. He doesn’t have to worry at all about TK. And Maddy, she’s safe as can be. He knows the call centers are structured like the stations, meant to withstand anything thrown its way. Everyone else he needs to worry about are around him, all accounted for and doing A-Okay.

“Who’re you trying to get a hold of?”

Eddie looks up, calculating eyes studying Buck as if debating whether or not he trusts him. And then after a moment of thought, “My son.” His eyes stay glued to Buck, as if gauging his reaction to the surprising revelation. “I’m trying to reach my son.”

Vulnerability. That’s what he sees. And he doesn’t know why Eddie was so reluctant to share, but he does know that his view of Eddie just gets better and better. For some reason, Eddie’s gotten ten times hotter with the revelation of being a dad.

“Woah, you got a kid?”

“Christopher. . .” Eddie holds out his phone, showing a picture of a little boy with hair lighter than Eddie’s. He has forearm crutches used to help him walk, and Eddie squats next to him in the photo. Both of them sport that bright smile with their eyes practically closed, and the absolute adoration and swell of happiness is contagious as a smile spreads across Buck’s face at the sight. “He’s seven.”

“Man, super adorable!” Buck doesn’t miss the way the corner of Eddie’s mouth turns upwards, barely noticeable if he hadn’t been paying attention. “I, uh, I love kids!”

Eddie nods his head, pulling his phone back and looking at the picture fondly. “Well, you’ll love this one. I’m all he’s got. His mother’s not in the picture.” Buck pretends that he doesn’t feel guilty pleasure at hearing the statement. And if Eddie weren’t looking at him, he might have even smiled a bit. Just a bit. But then comes the realization that Buck’s fantasizing over a straight man. It was different with Sam because Sam hadn’t dated anyone. But Eddie, he’s got a kid, conceived through sexual intercourse with a woman. Long story short, Eddie’s straight unless he says otherwise.

“He’s at school?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I’m sure he’s fine.” He lets his knee rest against Eddie’s versus reaching out and patting him on the knee. And Eddie holds Buck’s gaze for a little longer before nodding sadly and gazing out the window at the destruction.

///////

“You guys ever dealt with anything like this before?” Eddie asks as the team crane their necks to look up at the high rise that begin to fall but stopped, looking more like the leaning tower of Pisa than the leaning tower of Pisa.

“No,” Bobby responds.

Buck stares in astonishment at the building, heart breaking as other responders guide a family away from the building kicking and screaming about their missing daughter. His eyes move to others dressed in red, setting up poles in a way to keep the building in its current position.

“They seriously think that’s gonna hold it up?”

“Let’s find the incident commander.” He follows behind Bobby as Eddie leans more towards him.

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Are you a father?”

Buck frowns, eyes glancing to Eddie’s. Eddie’s eyes search his and Buck tears his gaze away, though says quieter than before. “Not exactly.”

Eddie frowns, but the team has already stumbled upon the incident commander before he can ask anything else.

“Captain,” Bobby shakes the woman’s hand, respectively. “Chief Williams. Incident commander.”

“Bobby Nash. How can we help you?”

“Hotel manager said they were between check out and check in when the quake hit, so they were light on guests.” Buck takes a glance around. He and the hotel manager have a different definition of ‘light’. “We’ve made contact with most of those, multiple evac operations in progress, all but twelve of the sixty-eight staff have been accounted for. It’s been pretty chaotic—”

“The family back there said their little girl was still missing,” Hen cuts in, glancing back at the people in concern.

“As long as it’s still safe to do so, we’ll be looking for any survivors.”

“What do your engineers have to say?”

“Looks like we had a brittle failure in the prestress concrete section of the building, underground parking garage, causing it to pancake at an angle. Right now, the reinforced steel is the only thing keeping it from completely collapsing. One good aftershock. . .”

“And the whole thing could come down.”

Buck frowns. “A high rise is supposed to be the safest place to be when an earthquake hits.”

“Not when you’re built right on top of a fault line. This quake was a seven point one.”

“Northridge was just a six point seven.”

“Seven point one? That makes it the largest in So Cal in twenty years and the last one was in Joshua Tree.”

“How many crews you have in there?”

“Not enough. We’ve put in a request for Heavy Rescue 3, but they’re on the way to a freeway collapse. We can use every hand we can get.”

“Thank you.”

Chief Williams nods before taking off in another direction, and Bobby turns to the team with a calculating gaze.

“Okay, listen up. Here’s how you make it to the end of the day. You don’t worry about the things that you can’t do anything about, you focus on one task at a time. I can’t order you guys to go inside that building and I’m not gonna judge you if decide not to.”

“Hen, you got a kid,” Chimney says, and Hen shakes her head in disagreement. “So. . .”

“Yeah, and I’d hope if someone whose job it was to save him had the chance they’d do it. No matter what.”

Buck looks to Eddie, and Eddie’s silent gaze is on Buck’s. Buck doesn’t say it, but he knows Eddie understands. _Choose carefully, cause you’re all Christopher’s got._ He nods, looking back to Bobby. “Where do you want us?”

As if on cue, an officer comes up from behind the two, eyes on Bobby. “Hey, you guys’ll want to see this.”

*****

“We should set up a bag street side in case that window gives,” Chim says, looking from the window where a man is pressed up against to Bobby.

“Nobody works under that side of the building. Somebody’s gonna have to get him from the inside.”

“Buck,” Eddie says, eyes still trained on the man. “Would you say that’s the eleventh floor?”

“I would.” He leans closer, surveying the building still. “I bet we could take the ladder to that fourth floor, cut the distance in half.”

He looks down at Eddie, and Eddie nods, glancing up at Buck and having a silent agreement with him before they both turn to Bobby questioningly.

“Go on up.”

They both head off, leaving Bobby, Chim, and Hen behind to grab their equipment as the ladder truck moves into place. When they reach the building, Eddie’s smashing the window, working to clear all the glass before they go inside.

“After Northridge,” Buck says, watching Eddie’s back in concern. “FEMA spent two hundred million dollars retrofitting every school in the LA USD. Ceiling tiles, lighting fixtures. . . Eddie, your kid is in the safest place he can be.”

Eddie turns back, eyebrows raised. “I thought that was a high rise.”

///////

Buck hates stairs. He remembers at one point always racing people up the stairs, but this. . . this is torture. He knows he said going to the fourth floor would cut the distance in half, but damn, that distance still feels long when they’ve got to take the stairs, especially at an angle.

“It’s only six flights,” Eddie says, shining a light up at the many stairs above them. _Six flights, my ass._ “It’s not Mount Everest.”

“Yeah, except Mount Everest might not tip over and crush you like a bug.”

The lights flicker, and he sees the rumbling before he feels the tremble. The building sliding just slightly, but it’s enough to send Buck stumbling forward, hitting the exit door.

Eddie looks back immediately. “You good, Buck?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s keep going.”

_Ugh._

~~

Eddie grunts as he pulls the door open wide enough for him and Buck to fit in the frame and look down the hallway. “You ready?”

“Yeah, on three. One. . . two. . . three!” Buck lets go of the frame, sliding down and catching himself on the wall due to gravity, Eddie following suit. They take a second to shake off the pain from the force of hitting the wall before continuing down the hallway.

“Hello! Hello! LAFD!”

“This one here,” Buck says, falling against the door from where the cries for help originate. Eddie pulls out the saw, cutting at the lock on the door before hooking it back up, swinging a ram at the door. It swings open from the force, and the two take their time to move into the room, careful not to slide and end up like the man pressed against the glass windows.

“Hello! LAFD!”

“In here!”

“In here!”

There’s two voices, one belonging to the man and the other a female that neither can see until they’re farther in the room. Buck slides, gripping the bathroom door frame tightly, Eddie giving him a tight glare as his body swings around, hitting the wall roughly.

He looks back up at Eddie’s sharp gaze. _I know, I know. Be careful._ He moves again, catching himself on the bar, noticing a lady gripping tightly to a pillar rooted in the center of the room to keep from falling towards the windows.

“Oh god! Thank god! Please, get me out!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ma’am!” Buck reaches out a hand, craning his neck a bit to get a better view of her from over the counter. “I need you to just sit tight. I will come and I will get you. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Um, no offense, but I think this might be a situation where woman and children first does not apply.”

“Did you just say no offense!? Everything about you is offensive.”

“First date?” Buck is asking, cutting into the pair’s bickering.

“Yeah, God, he wishes. Amazingly, that sweaty, fat pig is married with five kids. Didn’t stop him from asking me to shower with him.”

Buck shakes his head in disgust, concentrating on hooking Eddie securely with the rope. “Man, do you not watch the news at all over the past year?” He tightens the rope, lowering his voice for Eddie. “Alright, you’re good.”

Eddie moves forward, supported by a rope that Buck feeds slowly. He, too, is also shaking his head disappointingly. “Seriously, catch up with the times.”

“Alright, fine, so I’m a dinosaur, a forgotten relic of a forgotten age. For God’s sake, just get me the hell out of here!”

 _Not with that attitude, Mister._ He’s glad he’s not the one having to deal with him, focusing on the woman.

“I’m gonna throw you a rope, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna need you to try to secure yourself, okay?”

“Okay?”

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Buck tosses the rope and she wastes no time tying it around her waist.

“Don’t move!” He glances to Eddie gesturing at the man. “Don’t breathe.”

“Hurry! Hurry, it’s starting to crack!”

“Alright,” Eddie says as Buck feeds him more rope. “I’mma come around to you. You need to stay totally still, sir. Don’t even talk.”

“Oh, God. Please don’t let this be the end.”

“Alright, I’m gonna tie this webbing around you and we’re gonna get you away from the glass.”

And everything seems fine. Eddie’s right there with the man, the woman is standing now, her back against the pillar as she holds on tightly to the rope. But then the building starts to shake with the aftershock, and the panic arises once more.

The woman’s eyes grow wide as she cries out, holding on with both hands. The man begins to shout as well, with Eddie trying to shout over him to remain calm. There’s too much shouting from the woman, the man, Eddie, and himself. He’s struggling to hold onto both Eddie and the woman’s weight.

“NO, DON’T!” Eddie shouts before Buck hears the shatter of glass and the man disappears over the edge, followed by the couch and the TV stand and everything else pinning him against it. “NO!”

And then the woman shouts as her rope loosens, and she goes falling, having moved from pressing her back against the wall.

“EDDIE! EDDIE! EDDIE!” Eddie turns back, moving quickly and reaching out the open space where the glass used to be. The woman continues to cry out, but from the way her voice doesn’t drift he can guess that Eddie caught her before she could fall.

At least they saved one life.

*****

“That’s it, you’re doing great,” Buck says as Ali slowly follows behind Eddie, Buck trailing behind her. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, it was, uh, my major at the Rhode Island School of Design.” Ouch. Hasn’t she ever heard of small talk? “Sorry. Sarcasm is my fallback for pretty much everything.”

“Totally get it.”

“I got you,” Eddie says, reaching out his hand to help her move down the steps.

She stops, looking down and breathing deeply. “You think he’ll still be on the sidewalk when we get back down there?”

She looks back at Buck and he shakes his head reassuringly. “No. And we’re not going out that side, anyway.”

“Let’s hustle up, you two.” He glances up at Eddie, who gives Buck a pointed look. “We don’t wanna be here for the next aftershock.”

“Wait, what do you mean the _next_ aftershock?”

Eddie sighs, beckoning her forward. “Come on.” She gasps in panic as Eddie guides her along the railing, some of the stairs having been turned to rubble in the aftershock. “You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine. He’s right behind you.”

“Okay.”

Buck steadies her by the waist, moving to look down and swearing—oh, who is he kidding. The stairwell is fucked. The rubble blocks the rest of the way down, and Buck groans in frustration.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me.”

“We’re not getting out this way.”

“Now what?”

“We go back up.”

“Back _up_!?”

_“Ladder 118, respond. This is Captain Nash. I need a head count.”_

“Ladder 118, responding. Diaz, Buckley. We’re good, Cap.”

_“Nathaniel and Jackson responding.”_

_“Carson, Markus, O’Reilly, responding.”_

_“This is Chimney, responding.”_

Eddie and Buck seem to pause at the same time. They’re missing a voice, a very familiar voice.

_“Hen, do you copy? Hen?”_

Eddie looks back up at Buck, and he doesn’t say anything, but Buck can see it in his eyes. The worry, the doubt.

_“This is Captain Nash for Henrietta Wilson. Do you copy?”_

“Friend of yours?”

Eddie’s face goes blank, looking back to Buck. “Let’s keep moving.”

*****

Buck grunts as he pulls her up into the hallway, Eddie following behind. He mentions something about the north stairwell as Buck unclips Ali from himself.

“What if it’s blocked, too? Can’t you guys get a ladder to one of the windows?”

“It’s too risky. The building shifted too much.”

Buck focuses on coiling the rope, hooking it back up to his side. “We got this, Abby. We’ll get you out of here.”

“Ali.”

Buck looks back in confusion. “What?”

“You called me Abby. My name is Ali.”

It honestly hadn’t even registered to him. It had just slipped out, part of his subconscious focused on the one across the ocean. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, um. . . Abby is my. . .” He glances to Ali’s curious eyes and he can read her gaze like an open book. Two words, though a bit rude: not interested. He looks around, catching Eddie’s glance with a raised eyebrow, and sighs, leading Ali forward. “It’s complicated.”

“Isn’t it always.”

“She’s in Europe. She’s travelling. For the first time, I’m glad she’s not around. Don’t need to worry.”

“Well, having someone to worry about sounds nice, actually.” Yeah, that’s why he needs Abby back. He wants to go home and have a person to hold, to kiss, to make him feel safe while he does the same for them. Both Eddie and Buck raise their eyebrows as Ali stops, grabbing a small bottle off a destroyed wine cart and twisting it open, downing the contents. “All I do is work.” She looks over when neither of them answer, glancing from them to the bottle and back to them. “What? It’s after five. It’s not like it’s slowing us down.”

 _Hasn’t set in yet._ He bites his tongue, ready to tell her to leave the drinks alone when he hears a mumbled voice. Eddie and Ali, however, continue to move. “Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.” Ali stops, followed by Eddie. He raises an eyebrow before furrowing it. “You guys hear that?”

“Help! Is anyone there?”

They all look at the door, Eddie and Buck nodding to each other before Eddie forces the door open. Eddie moves in, Buck following after informing Ali to stay put. Eddie holds onto the wall, sliding forward and knocking debris out of the way to reveal an older man.

“I knew help would come,” the man groans, sighing in relief.

“Right,” Eddie says, throwing a glance to Buck. If that stairwell had been clear, nobody would’ve come for this man, and he would’ve died. “We’re here. We got you, buddy.”

“Alright, don’t move, just relax, okay? I need you to stay as still as possible.” The man grimaces, whimpering in pain as Buck and Eddie look him over.

“Okay, we gotta roll him over. On three.”

“Okay.”

“One. . . two. . . three.” Buck stables the man’s head as Eddie rolls him off of his back, the man letting out a shout of agony. Eddie begins looking the man over, nodding to Buck as a cue for him to move and find something to transport him on since they don’t have a stretcher with them.

He allows himself to slide further into the room, landing against the bed. Unlike the other room, this one isn’t as glamorous, which means the windows don’t take up the whole height or width of the back wall. He’s searching, climbing onto the bed, off the bed and shimmying as best he can at the unbalanced angle. A moment later, Eddie slides right in front of him.

“Numbness in his legs, loss of bladder control.” Buck looks to Eddie in worry. The man couldn’t move at all and had peed himself when Buck and Eddie had moved him onto his side.

“Spinal injury. We gotta move him out, now.”

“On what? We don’t have a backboard and every millimeter counts.”

Eddie frowns, looking around and Buck does the same. “You see anything?”

“No.”

“Guys,” they both look up where Ali supports herself in the closet doorframe. “What about this?” She smiles. “Ironing board.”

Eddie nods, looking to Buck. “It’d work. How’re we gonna get him down the stairwell?”

Buck furrows his eyebrows, looking back to Eddie in all seriousness. “Maybe we don’t use the stairwell.

*****

Buck helps Eddie pry the elevator doors open, and Eddie looks inside, shaking his head. “At least we’re not blocked by any debris.”

“Or an elevator,” Ali adds with a pointed look. Eddie blinks, rolling onto his back to look above them, where the elevator sits just a few floors up from where they are. “Um, how much do you think that weighs?”

“Twenty-five hundred. . . three thousand pounds.”

Buck moves to stand above the two, studying the shaft with a shrug. “I like our chances.”

He backs up as Eddie looks back with a grimace at Buck and then back to the elevator shaft. “Yeah.”

~~

“How you doing, Botari?” Eddie asks, to which the man gives a thumbs up. He’s safely secured to the ironing board, Buck and Ali sitting at the opening in the elevator doorway as Eddie and the man descend the elevator shaft.

“How’re you feeling?” Buck asks Ali, glancing up from slowly feeding the rope.

“Not dead yet.”

“Yeah. . . You guys are doing great. You’re almost there.”

“Eight more feet, Buck!” Buck feeds the rope a little faster and then Eddie’s holding up a fist, motioning for Buck to stop. He clamps down on the rope, stopping them from going any further. “Get down here, Buck!”

“Alright, I’m on my way.” He looks to Ali as she rubs her hands along her pants nervously. “You ready?”

She looks to him with wide eyes, grimacing before sighing. “Okay.”

“Alright.” He stands, hoisting Ali onto his waist. She wraps her arms around his neck, legs around his hips. Below them, he can hear Eddie prying the elevator doors open. “You’re okay.”

“Okay!” She says quietly, eyes squeezed shut and her hold tightening just a bit as Buck descends as well.

“You’re okay.”

“Okay!”

“Is the building vibrating?” the man asks, his voice seeming to echo a lot more as the shaking begins to grow. _Not again, not now._ He moves faster, the elevator above them creaking ominously.

Ali shouts out of fear, and Buck glances up as a few sparks light up from the elevator shaft dropping an inch. Fear spikes up in him and he moves even faster. “Eddie, keep that door open!”

More and more sparks light up as it slowly drops further and closer.

“LET’S GO, BUCK! MOVE YOUR ASS!”

“Alright, here we come! Here we come!” _Fuck it._ Buck tightens his grip on Ali as the elevator moves more fluidly and closer. He let’s his feet hang, the rope dropping them closer to the open door. Just before they reach it he moves his feet back to the wall, planting them firmly and pushing off, swinging back and flying forward, right into the open doors.

He and Ali fly into the hallway, and he unclips his rope at the last second, and it snaps back to the open doors, disappearing over its edge as the cart speeds past and disappears. He hears it crash a second later, smoke billowing. He smiles in relief, breathing heavily from the adrenaline rush as he lies on the ground, letting his beating heart slow a bit.

Eddie is hovering over Ali, wide eyes on Buck as he props himself onto his forearms.

“I told you I liked our chances.”

///////

“Ow, Eddie! What was that for?” They had finally got out of the building, passing of Ali and Botari to the paramedics before moving to lean against the engine and collect themselves. OF course, Buck was doing fine until Eddie decided to drive his fist into Buck’s arm.

“Moving like a goddamn turtle! You’re gonna cause my hair to grey way earlier than it needs to.”

“Glad to know you care.”

“Oh, no, I just didn’t want to have to save your ass on top of Botari’s and Ali’s.”

Buck sticks his tongue out before frowning and pushing off the engine. “You think we should join the rest of the team? Knowing Bobby, he’s probably doing everything in his power to find Hen.”

Eddie nods, pushing off the engine as well. “Where do you think he is?”

_“This is Captain Nash. We are on the move. I need jackhammers, diamond saws, jaws, every heavy-duty piece of equipment you have and available pair of hands. We are going down to the southern corner of the garage, level B3.”_

Buck nods with a satisfied smile. “Right on cue.”

“Let’s go.” The two turn, opening the compartments to reach for the equipment.

_“Negative, Captain. Engineers have warned of a possible complete collapse. We need to begin evacuation.”_

_“No can do. We still have a firefighter trapped down here.”_

_“I’m sorry. I understand. This a direct order.”_

Eddie sighs, letting go of the equipment and turning to Buck. “Well, what now? They’re evacuating.”

“Would you evacuate if Christopher were still trapped in that building?”

“Fuck no.”

“Exactly.” Buck nods in the direction of the tents. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“To inform the Chief that Bobby Nash holds that same sentiment.”

///////

“We have any more chain?”

“No. I think it’s far enough out that we can get back behind it and push it out the rest of the way.”

“Looks like we got here just in time then.” Bobby turns as Buck and Eddie round the corner, both sporting smiles. Buck takes in the pickup truck, the broken chair, the hole made in the wall of rubble and cars, and Bobby and Chim looking back in surprise.

“Yeah,” Eddie shakes his head. “Seems like they were planning on having all the fun without us.”

“Heard over the radio you needed some equipment and available hands down here.”

“You know you guys are disobeying a direct order?” Buck smirks along with Eddie as they set down the tools.

“And they’ll be duly reprimanded.” Bobby and Chim’s eyes widen even more as the chief and every other firefighter not taking care of victims round the corner. “Soon as we’re done here.”

“Looks like you’re gonna have to reprimand yourself as well.”

“I’m seriously considering it. You’re people are very persuasive. . .” She moves her eyes from Eddie to Buck. “. . . and persistent. One shot, Captain. Either way, no one’s coming to rescue us.”

They get to work quickly, hooking a stronger winch to the truck and the slab of rubble. Chim goes back to easing the truck forward, the slab of rubble easing along as well.

“Keep going, Chim. We gotta get it clear.” Chim moves a little bit more. “It’s clear. Now we need some support beams.”

They shimmy the beams between the floor and the rock above the hole, hammering it into place. Then Bobby, Chim, Buck, Eddie, and a few others move in, making an assembly line to quickly move more rubble out of the way. They all grab onto a large slab of rock, pulling hard and backing up as it falls to the ground, revealing a hole large enough to crawl through.

For a few seconds, it’s silent. And then they hear the bark of a small dog. A small Maltese bounds from the hole and into the arms of a firefighter, but Buck’s eyes remain glued to the opening.

“Hen?” He waits for an answer. He doesn’t get one. “Hen, are you there?”

He hears a scuffle, and everyone is quiet, waiting anxiously. But then Hen’s face is appearing from the darkness, and everyone is breathing sighs of relief, smiling, and cheering as Hen crawls out, a little girl hugging tightly to her back.

She coughs as she climbs to her feet, shooting her team a smile. “Worried, fellas?”

She moves, stumbling a bit and coughing but otherwise fine. And she climbs off the large rock laying at the base of the opening, falling right against Buck and wrapping her arms around his waist with a laugh. He laughs too, one arm wrapping around her, just below the little girl’s legs, and the other pulling her head to rest against his heart.

_Good to see you, too, sis._

///////

Buck reaches into his pocket when he feels his phone buzz, pulling it out to see a text from a new group chat created by TK, him and Maddie being the other members. Before he unlocks his phone, he looks up to Eddie with a smile.

“Hey,” Eddie turns, eyebrow raised. Buck waves his phone. “Service.”

Eddie nods quickly, turning and reaching to pull his own phone out as Buck opens up his messages.

*****

 **Ty  
** Are you guys ok?  
I saw there was an earthquake on the news.  
Dad and I are worried.

 **Maddie  
** I’m fine. Tell Owen I said hi.  
Buck?  
Please text us as soon as you get this.  
I just need to know you’re okay.

 **Ty  
** Where’s Buck?

 **Maddie  
** He’s at the hotel that’s close to collapsing.  
They said that someone’s been reported  
missing but I don’t know who.

 **Ty  
** I’m sure he’s fine Maddie.

 **Maddie  
** I just got word back.  
Everyone from the 118 has been  
accounted for.  
You okay? **  
  
**

 **Buck  
** All good. You?

 **Maddie  
** Yeah, made it through.

 **Buck  
** Proud of you sis.  
Hey, Ty. Let the old man know I’m ok.

 **Ty**  
He says he may be old, but he’s not old to  
where he can’t still beat your ass.

///////

“Shit!” Buck looks over to where Eddie is swearing at his truck, a tree crushing the hood.

“Eddie!” The man looks over, eyes torn with worry. “Get in.”

He rushes over, quickly climbing into the passenger seat. “Thank you! Thank you so much! I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Eddie.” Buck peels out of the parking lot and onto the road. “I’d be a jackass if I expected something from giving you a ride to get your son after the day we just had.”

“I mean. . .” Eddie fights to smile, mumbling under his breath. “Are you sure you aren’t already a jackass?”

Buck guffaws, turning where Eddie tells him to. “I will pull over! I will pull this Jeep over!”

Eddie laughs as Buck feigns hurt, smiling gratefully. “Seriously, though. Thank you, Buck.”

“Hey, I have your back.”

They’re pulling up to the school within minutes, and Eddie opening the door right as Buck shifts the car into park. He watches with mixed emotions as Eddie jogs up the steps and into the school, scooping Christopher up in his arms and spinning with the biggest smile.

It pains him, watching the happiness Eddie has with his son and just wishing he could have that. And then he’s smiling because it swells his heart with adoration, just seeing the amount of love Eddie has for Christopher. And Buck knows he’s got it. He’s got it bad. At some point, he’s gonna have to come to terms with the inevitable. He’s falling for his friend. And he’s gonna fall hard.

Eddie thanks the man inside before coming back out, opening the back door and helping Christopher inside. “Chris, this is my friend, Buck.”

“Hello, Christopher.” Buck smiles as the little boy shimmies in his seat, helping Eddie with the seatbelt.

“Hi, Buck.” The seatbelt snaps into place and Eddie turns back to grab Christopher’s crutches. “Are you a firefighter like my dad?”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I’m a firefighter just like Eddie.”

“I like you. Can I be your friend?”

“Absolutely.” Buck’s heart practically melts. “You and I, bud, we’re gonna be the best of friends.”

Christopher smiles brightly, and Buck’s smile just grows. It’s like Christopher’s secret power is the ability to make anyone smile just by smiling himself. He catches Eddie smiling softly in the doorway before closing it and making his way back to the passenger’s side.

When Eddie straps himself back in, he’s looking at Buck, eyes silently thanking him once again before he turns around with a bright smile.

“Alright, Chris. Ready to go home!”

“Yeah!” He points to Buck with a smile that hasn’t dropped since Eddie ran inside to get him. “Dad, I made a new friend.”

“Me too, mijo.” Eddie turns back around, nodding to Buck as he shifts the car into drive. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm all of a sudden sad that they didn't make a scene of Eddie introducing Buck and Christopher cause I really feel like that would have been the sweetest thing. That's all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reread my entire chapter, and I just gotta say it resembles those 5+1 stories. 5 times Buck did something for Eddie and the 1 time Eddie did something for Buck back. I mean, it's not actually five times, but you know what I mean. 
> 
> Any who, I don't really have much warnings besides the obvious don't stick your head in a tailpipe and don't go dosing people with brownies. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter cause I really did.

“Who are you talking to?” Eddie frowns along with Hen and Chim in confusion as Buck narrows his eyes at Bobby, who holds his phone up to his ear, discussing personalities and rings. The others hadn’t thought much of it, though glancing at Bobby every once in a while and thinking maybe he’s considering proposing to Athena. Of course, it’s way too soon for that.

“Um, Athena?”

“Cap, are you lying?” Hen guffaws, and Chim eyes widen, and Eddie, Eddie’s just plain confused as his eyes move from Hen and Chim to Buck and Bobby. He hasn’t been here long enough to really understand what is going on.

“No. No, I’m not.”

“Come on, Bobby. We’re not dumb enough to believe you’re actually have a conversation about proposing to Athena.” Chim rolls his eyes. “Clearly, you’re talking to a person who wishes to propose to his. . . boyfriend.”

Chim furrows his eyebrows at the same time a lightbulb goes off in Hen’s head at why Buck had made the outburst in the first place.

“Put my boo on speaker, Bobby. Don’t hog!” Hen says, Bobby sighing as he informs the person on the other line that he’s being put on speaker phone before setting the phone on the counter. Before Hen or Chim can call out a greet, Buck’s letting out a mock gasp as Bobby and Eddie watch the scene unfold in amusement.

“You’re cheating on me!”

_“It isn’t what it looks like! I swear!”_

“Then why did I catch you conversing on the phone with another man!?”

_“Because Bobby isn’t as slick as the others—”_

“Others!? Who else have you been talking to?”

 _“Oh, y’know, Chim. Hen.”_ The two shout out their greetings. _“Oh hey! They’re there, too? Bobby, Hen, Chim, you. . . Ten bucks says Eddie is there too!”_

Eddie furrows his eyebrows, glancing at the phone then to Bobby then to Hen, Chim, and Buck. “Uh. . . do I know this person? He doesn’t sound familiar.”

 _“Oh, we haven’t formally met yet. Buck likes to talk about his days, though.”_ Buck’s cheeks warm up as they all look to him. _“Yeah, got an earful of colorful words about some new recruit Buck seemed to loathe a few days back. It took a **lot** of convincing to get him to get his head out of his ass.”_

“I’m guessing it worked,” Eddie laughs, eyes twinkling as Buck grumbles, sitting down on the stool between Eddie and Hen.

_“Not completely. There’s only so much I can do.”_

Chim barks out a laugh, clapping his hands together. “And that is why you’re my favorite Buckley sibling.”

_“Still not a Buckley.”_

“No, but you are Buckley’s sibling. And my favorite.”

_“So, I take it you guys haven’t met Maddie yet?”_

“No, why?”

_“She’s the angel out of the three of us. Buck’s the devil child—”_

“I am not!”

 _“—and I am somewhere in between.”_ He chuckles, and then louder. _“Oh! Where are my manners, allow me to introduce myself, Eddie—because my brother never does. I am TK.”_

“Tyler Kennedy?”

_“How. . . Does Buck actually talk about me?”_

“Not to us.” Hen raises both eyebrows, looking at Buck offended. “TK has to show up unannounced for us to hear about him, but Eddie gets background information. Mmm, I see how it is.”

“Oh, no, Buck doesn’t talk that much about you—”

_“How thoughtful.”_

“—but he did mention a kick in the darkest of regions for the name ‘Ken-doll’.”

_“HA! Yeah, I remember that. . . great times.”_

“Alright, guys, we need to wrap this up,” Bobby says as he cuts off the stove. “We got work to do.”

“It can wait till later, Bobby,” Chim groans, pulling the phone just out of the Captain’s reach. “We’re spending quality time with Buck’s replacement—speaking of which, when are we gonna hire him.”

Buck scrunches his face, shaking his head in betrayal at Chimney.

 _“Actually, I gotta go. Bell’s ringing.”_ In the background, the five can hear the bell going off. _“I’ll talk to you guys later.”_

“Bye, TK!”

Buck shakes his head as Hen and Chim coo into the phone. Even Eddie says it, smiling slyly at Buck. He shakes his head, standing and turning with a huff.

“You all, disgust me!”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Who wants mimosas!?” “Shut up! Shup up! I’m talking to 9-1-1 right now. Hi, 9-1-1. This is Tanya.”_

_“Hi, Tanya. This is Maddie and this line is reserved for emergencies.”_

_“No, I totally have an emergency. . . I’m sorry. My friend is just laughing and it’s making me laugh, and. . . okay. I’m fine now, for real. So, anyway, we’re at Saddle Ranch on Sunset, and my friend just got her head stuck in a pipe.”_

_“What kind of pipe?”_

_“It’s, like, metal, I think.”_

_“Is it a drainpipe or a sewer?”_

_“A sewer? God, no. It’s attached to this guy’s truck.”_

_“You mean a tailpipe?”_

_“Yeah! That.”_

///////

“Grab a creeper and some blocks,” Bobby says as Eddie hops out of the engine, followed by Buck.

“She’s over here.” A woman says, and Buck turns, raising an eyebrow as she gapes at him as he passes by her.

“Holy crap, you are hot.”

Yeah. . . no. He can already feel the tension in his shoulders. A compliment’s a compliment, but these girls. . . not anymore. If he’s gonna date, he wants a girl like E- Abby. A girl like Abby. He follows the dark-haired girl leading them to the back.

“Okay, guys, the strippers are here.” She says, not so quietly, to a group of girls in their path. They giggle, eyeing Buck with a look he knows all too well. He rolls his eyes. He doesn’t have a stripper’s body. . . Eddie, though. . .

“Excuse me, coming through, just give us some space.” He puts an arm up, moving through the crowd of girls with a slight jump—someone’s getting a little handsy in a very low region. He grits his teeth because he wants to blame them but the amount of glasses on their table suggests they aren’t completely the ones to blame. He moves to the back, through a curtain leading outside where a crowd has grown. “Excuse me! Clear a path! Coming through, thank you. . . thank you. . .”

His voice dies down as he takes in the girl on her hands and knees, head inside the tailpipe all the way to her shoulders. _And this is why I’ll never get piss drunk._

“Hi,” Chim says to the man leaning against the red truck. “What’s her name?”

“Betty.”

“Jennifer,” the girl mumbles.

“Sorry, I thought you meant my truck?” Buck suddenly dislikes the guy to a very large degree.

“This is your truck?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I backed into her. She did this out of her own free will.”

Buck sets down the creeper and lowers himself onto it, eyes raking over Jennifer for injuries while the girl from earlier speaks up. “You dared her to!”

“We were flirting.”

Buck cringes while Eddie shakes his head. “Your idea of flirting with a girl is daring her to stick her head in your tailpipe?”

Buck laughs dryly as he rolls under the truck. “Oh, man.”

“Hi, Jennifer. LAFD, how you feeling?” Chim asks, as Buck turns, getting a good look at the tailpipe and determining just where Jennifer’s head stops.

“Uh, pretty good, actually. Except for this whole, y’know, ginormous tail pipe on my head.”

Eddie shakes his head as he kneels in front of Buck, passing the tape measure.

“Hey, Jennifer, you’re gonna feel me poking around, we’re just checking you, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Why is this tailpipe so large?”

“It’s custom.”

“Where’d she get these bruises on her arm?” Buck glances down, squinting to see a dark splotch on her forearm.

“That wasn’t me.”

“It’s from the bull. She rode it, like, five times.”

“There’s no way we’re gonna get a collar on her”

“I got it.”

“Get me out of this thing!”

Buck rolls back out from under the truck, sitting up to turn towards Bobby. “These things are meant to increase the power to the engine.”

“Yup.”

“TSA 230 saw should do the job.”

“Oh, yeah,” Buck says with a surprising amount of pleasure. He’s glancing up through his eyelashes at the truck driver. “Like a knife through butter.”

“Chim?”

“Excuse me.” Chim is moving through the crowd again, coming back from grabbing stuff from the engine. “Way ahead of you, Cap.”

He hands Bobby a helmet and the saw.

“What!? No, I spent twelve hundred bucks on that tailpipe.”

“You might want to close your eyes during this part.” Buck takes extreme pleasure in the man’s reaction as Bobby leans down to situate himself on the creeper.

He turns at the tap on his shoulder, looking down at the girl holding out her phone. He’s almost tempted to just ignore her. “Just type your number in my phone and I’ll text you so you have mine.”

“Thanks, but I actually have a girlfriend. . .” Not a complete lie. He’s not exactly sure where he and Abby stand, but they never actually, officially broke up. So, technically, he does have a girlfriend. . . even if she’s not here right now. “. . . and I need to focus right now so my captain doesn’t cut your friend’s head off.”

He turns from the brunette, noticing the dark-haired girl sidle up to Eddie out of the corner of his eye. If anyone questions why he’s frowning, he’ll say it’s because he’s growing annoyed at the pestering girls. Actually, that isn’t even a lie at all. He _is_ growing very annoyed with the pestering girls.

“Hi.” Eddie doesn’t even turn to face her as Buck had with the other one. “Do you have Snapchat?”

“No. And, uh, I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. I have. . . I have a son.” He raises an eyebrow at Eddie. Is he really using Christopher as an excuse to not date? Sure, Eddie’s got this amazing commitment to the seven-year-old, but he’s got to be at least missing someone to love romantically.

“That’s great! So do I.” And yet here she is. . . at a bar. . . piss drunk and hitting on firemen.

“I think I’m gonna puke.”

“You better not!”

He glances up at Buck and he jerks his head in a way the beckons Eddie over, and he nods, grateful for the excuse to move away. He finds satisfaction in the way Eddie’s shoulder grazes his, giving Buck a perfectly clear idea of how close Eddie is to his side as he watches Bobby roll under the truck, situating the saw.

“These fire guys are totally hot.”

“Alright, what say we move the peanut gallery a few steps over this way. Thank you.” _Yes, thank you, Chim._ He makes a mental note to remember that he owes the man. “Everybody back a little bit, thank you!”

“Alright, Jennifer, keep your head completely still. You’re gonna hear a lot of noise, but everything is fine.”

And yet, Jennifer still shrieks the moment the saw turns on and makes contact with the pipe. “What are you doing!?”

“Alright, almost there.”

“Okay.” Hen and Eddie slowly guide Jennifer into a sitting position after Bobby cuts through the pipe. “Easy.”

“We need lube,” Buck says, because one does need lube to get their head out of really tight places. Also, he was saying it to Chim.

So, he does a little eye roll when brunette is waving her hand enthusiastically and reaching into her purse to grab the item. “I have some!”

Of course, she does.

She passes it to Chim, who tosses it to Buck. He catches it swiftly, moving over to Jennifer and squeezing the contents around her head. He moves back as Eddie and Hen carefully remove the pipe and Jennifer’s head is free, revealing her soot covered face. She fixes her hair, eyes moving from her friends to land on Eddie who kneels in front of her and then up at Buck.

“Wow, you really are hot.”

Eddie quickly stands, smirking at Buck as Buck bites his lip. Honestly? That time it was just pure funny.

“Would you like us to transport you to the hospital, get checked out?”

“She just needs another drink!” Buck scoffs at the outburst and Bobby shakes his head.

“No, what she needs to do is go home. All three of you do. In a cab.” He turns back to Jennifer who stares up at him wide-eyed. Honestly, he thinks she might be the worst out of the three, not personality wise but. . . unlike her friends, she looks—how does the saying go? Drunk and high at the same time. “Listen to me. When you sober up, you feel like you have a headache or blurry vision or you feel confused, you got to get yourself to a hospital. Do you understand?”

It honestly scares Buck a little, the way she nods as the smile grows bigger and bigger until she’s a giggling mess. And there it is. He can finally see that’s she’s clearly had just as much to drink as her friends. They all shake their heads as they collect the equipment, beginning to head back to the engines.

Eddie turns and Buck follows him as they move through the crowd, Buck resting a hand on Eddie’s arm before letting it fall. Instead, he focuses on moving the straps off his shoulders, leaning closer to Eddie.

“Hey, so is your son really the reason you don’t date?”

“That and. . . they weren’t my type.” The only reason Buck notices Eddie’s eyes lingering on him is because he’s glancing back at the two pestering girls in question.

“Not mine either.” At one point he may have slept with either, both sharing key components that remind him of Sam and Selina. But now, he doesn’t want to revert back to that. Deep down, none of it helped his pain really go away. He lets his shoulder bump Eddies, takes pleasure in the Eddie chuckles softly. “Not anymore. But I’m talking in general.”

“It’s complicated when you have a kid.”

“Come on, that’s a weak excuse.”

“You live in your invisible girlfriend’s house, and you’re telling me about weak excuses?” Oh. Touché, Edmundo. Touché. What’s that thing Hen always likes to say? Shade, shade, shade, shade, shade. Eddie smiles moving forward a bit and pulling out his phone to answer the call coming in.

“Hello.” He’s smiling at the back of Eddie’s head. He’s gonna get him back, it’s gonna happen. “What? Which one?” Eddie’s happy tone from before is gone, laced with a strong hint of worry and concern that has Buck looking up from taking his gloves off with a frown. He breaks into a jog and Buck furrows his eyebrows, following behind him.

By the time he’s caught up to Eddie, he’s already hung up the phone. “Eddie? What’s happening? Everything okay?”

“I gotta go to the hospital.” Eddie turns, running a hand through his hair with stress. “Abuela and Chris.”

“Well,” Buck lays a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, catching his gaze with his own. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Come with me. I need someone to have my back.”

“You know I will.”

*****

Eddie’s striding fast the moment the doors of the elevator open. He turns the corner, spotting a woman and glancing back at Buck. “My aunt.” He approaches a woman sitting in the waiting area, arms up in concern. “Tía? Qué pasó? Is Christopher okay?”

The woman stands immediately, embracing Eddie in a hug. “Yes. You mean Prince Charming, hmm? He’s peachy.” She gestures past Eddie, and he and Buck turn to look in the direction, where Chris is gracing a nurse with his adorable personality. “It’s your abuela. She broke her hip.”

Buck and Eddie frown, Eddie out of deep concern for his abuela, and Buck out of deep concern for Eddie and Eddie’s abuela. “What? How?”

“She was out back on the steps and calling him to come inside. She lost her balance. Christopher called 9-1-1. The rescue got there really quick.”

“I want to see her.”

“No, she’s sleeping now.” She turns to Buck and he looks at her with wide eyes as she raises her eyebrows at him. “And, uh, who is this?”

“This is Buck. We work together.”

He moves his hand to maybe wave, maybe offer a handshake, but he honestly doesn’t want to be overstepping. It isn’t exactly the best circumstance to be meeting Eddie’s family. “Hm. I thought you dressed alike.”

Eddie smirks, looking back at Buck with a nod. “This is my Aunt Josephina. Pepa.”

“Hi.” He smiles kindly and she offers one right back before turning back to Eddie with a frown,

“You can’t keep doing this, Eddie. You cannot keep leaving him with her. She’s not up to it.”

“I know. I know, and I’m sorry.” Buck frowns again, watching as Eddie shakes his head sadly. “I. . . I’m trying to find some permanent help, it’s just. . . too many forms to fill out. It’s worse than the VA.”

“I can’t believe your gringa ex stuck you with all of this.” Buck raises an eyebrow slightly at the mention of Eddie’s ex. He’s also pockets ‘gringa’ as a term he’ll later look up. If Pepa’s throwing shots, Buck at least wants to know what’s being said.

“I’m not stuck, Tía.”

“Do you have to go back to work?” Eddie draws his mouth into a thin line. “Ah. And you’re not stuck. I’ll keep him tonight, but you need to get this figured out.”

“Daddy!” Eddie turns at the sound of Christopher’s voice, a small smile bracing his face for a second as he moves over to help the boy. And the adoration Buck felt last time watching Eddie smile brightly as he hoists his son up into his arms is still there, but the feeling of concern is larger. Looking at Eddie now, Buck can see the strain in his smile, the stress in his eyes.

“Must be rough.”

“Raising any child alone is rough. My nephew is a saint. But I pray for him anyway.”

///////

“I do this too much?” Chim makes a motion with his hands, suggesting that he talks to much. Hen, Eddie, and Buck all laugh loudly.

“We all agree, believe me.” Buck smiles brightly at Christopher’s scrunched face, and then he’s leaning forward, head practically touching his knees, and let’s out the most adorable contagious laugh Buck has ever heard.

Chim guffaws. “Christopher, I thought we were buddies! What happened?”

“What’s this?” They all look up as Bobby strolls towards the couches, a big smile on his face when he sees Christopher. Buck can see Eddie’s smile fall almost immediately. “I don’t remember asking the chief for reinforcements. You any good with a hose, kid?”

“I can try.” Christopher responds, and honestly, Buck can’t remember a moment where he isn’t smiling.

“Alright.”

Eddie glances from Chris to Bobby, standing nervously with a look of guilt. “So sorry, Cap. My aunt’s trying to get off work early, but until then, I. . . I didn’t know where to take him.”

“Yeah, you did. Right here.” Eddie furrows his eyebrows in confusion as Bobby nods. “Buck gave me a heads-up. I already cleared it with the chief.” Eddie’s head turns, looking to Buck. Buck gives him that knowing look with a nod. _I have your back, Eddie._ The corner of Eddie’s mouth is turning upwards when the alarm rings. “Alright, let’s go, let’s go!”

“Hey. . .” Buck turns back to look at Eddie. He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Buck can see the message he’s conveying through his gaze. _Thank you._

///////

“These are great, see, cause we can talk to each other.” Chimney glances to the front seat where Buck sits (he gave up his usual seat so the little man could ride next to his dad) before leaning closer to Chris as if Buck wouldn’t be able to hear everything he says with the headphones on. “Though sometimes I wish I had a mute button for Buck—”

He frowns, turning to Chim in concern as the horn blares. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you saying something?”

And he smiles as Chim rolls his eyes in annoyance. Brotherly love.

“You have a scar on your head.”

“That’s very observant, kid. I had an accident. Got a big metal rod stuck in my head, but the doctor took care of it. You ever have surgery?”

“Two times.”

“Actually, three times.”

“Well, you got me beat. Now I feel kind of lame.”

“Because you are.” They all chuckle at Christopher’s burst of laughter. “Your dad ever tell you why we call him Chimney?”

Chim frowns, shaking his head, glancing to a smirking Buck and back to Hen. “No. NO. No. No, no, no, no.”

“I’ll tell you the story later.”

*****

“Hey.” Buck turns around right in time to catch Eddie before he can knock him to the ground. The shorter man is wrapping his arms around Buck, face pressed into his shoulder and Buck is quick to return the hug. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know you’ll definitely say I don’t owe you, but I didn’t even ask you to do this and you did and. . . until I can figure out how to repay you, you’re getting hugs of death.”

Buck laughs, patting Eddie on the back. “Well, that is completely fine. Though I’m not feeling much death. What? Do you have chicken noodle arms? I know you can squeeze tighter than that.”

“Are you making fun of me when I’m showing you gratitude. See if you ever get a hug again.”

“Okay, okay!” Buck and Eddie chuckle while still embraced in the hug. “The hug is perfect! Keep ‘em, coming, Edmundo.”

~~

“Come down, bud!” Eddie’s saying with a smile as he and Buck hold up their arms, ready to help Chris slide the rest of the way down the pole. They all cheer as he goes down, Buck catching him first with a smile.

He smiles happily as Buck and Eddie smile down at him. And yeah. . . Buck loves this. This moment will be kept safe in his memories to look back on whenever he wanted. Chris a bright, smiling being of happiness, Eddie holding Chris’ hand as he smiles down at his son happily, and Buck watching the two in adoration with a big smile and wishing ‘if only. . .’

“Alright, fun’s over,” Eddie says, his tone drooping a bit as Pepa rounds the corner of the engine, smiling when she sees Eddie and Chris.

“Awww. . .” Buck groans as Eddie guides Chris over to Pepa. “Bye, Christopher.”

“Bye.”

“Good job today, kiddo.”

“You, too, Cap.”

Eddie turns once Pepa has Chris, giving Bobby a hug and looking as though he is going to cry. He pulls back, nodding at him before looking to Buck, who’s still smiling naturally from Chris’ aura of positivity. He blinks, beckoning Eddie forward, and Eddie shakes his head with a small smile as he trudges up to Buck with mock reluctance, hugging him genuinely before taking off behind Pepa and Chris.

///////

“I just feel bad for him, y’know—Eddie, I mean. Not Christopher.” Buck reaches into the fridge, pulling out Tupperware as Maddie opens a bottle of wine. “Christopher’s great. He’s smart, adorable, funny, in a kid way. He just. . . needs a little extra help.”

“Cerebral palsy, right?”

“Aunt Pepa said he got stuck in the birth canal. There were some complications, and then. . .”

“Well, did Aunt Pepa explain what’s happening with the childcare situation? Because there are programs.”

“Eddie’s working on it. He’s got insurance.” And it pains Buck, to see Eddie so down and yet trying to hide the stress of it all from everyone around him, plastering on a smile that Buck notices isn’t always as big as can be from time to time. “And there’s other stuff through the city, state and county, but the requirements are all different. You can apply for one, and it can disqualify you from another. It’s a whole, giant bureaucratic mess. I- I can’t get my head around it.”

“I was a nurse, remember? The only people who truly navigate a bureaucracy are the people who work inside it.”

“It shouldn’t be that way, though—Eddie, always wondering how to take care of Christopher, and Christopher feeling like a burden on his dad.”

“Eddie doesn’t feel that way, does he?”

“Not even a little.” Buck smiles just thinking about the two. Moving to sit down on the couch with leftovers from Bobby’s cooking. “He, uh, loves that kid like crazy. He’s a really great dad.”

“So, does this boy crush on Eddie mean that you’re finally ready to, uh, move on from Abby?” The question spiked a fear in Buck that he wasn’t prepared for. _Is it that obvious?_ He doesn’t want to deny it, but he’s not going to flat out accept it. He does that, it’ll hurt that one-day Eddie will eventually decide to start dating again. Dating _girls_ again. He swallows his pasta, faking a smile at Abby.

“That’s cute.” See? No denial, no acceptance. Maddie doesn’t even try to question it further.

“I have some news. I found an apartment. It’s not far from work. Two bedrooms, secure building. Parking included.”

“So, you’re really moving out?” He understands that she can’t really stay here forever, but he isn’t ready to let her go, even if it’s a few miles away.

“I told you that I wasn’t gonna be able to live here forever.” He knows she isn’t going far, but the kid within him. . . he still feels the pain of watching Maddie go. He wants to hold onto Maddie, make sure she doesn’t disappear again. “Look, when I left Doug, I didn’t have a plan. I just grabbed up all my stuff and ran as fast and as far as I possibly could. But then you convinced me to start over, make a brand-new life in LA.”

“I was right about that.”

“You were.” She nods, sighing sadly. “But it’s just not gonna feel like mine unless I’m standing on my own two feet. That’s the only way I’m gonna know it’s real.”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Hi, I’m at the CalAm atm on the corner of Francisco and Olympic, and the atm is refusing to give me my money.”_

_“Okay, ma’am, it sounds like you should be calling your bank.”_

_“It told me to call 9-1-1.”_

_“I’m sorry?”_

_“A note came out of the thingy. It says someone’s stuck inside. I know it sounds crazy, but I think I can hear someone yelling from in there.”_

_“Inside the machine? Are you sure?”_

_“I’m sure I don’t have my money.”_

///////

“The only way she knows it’s real is for her to live in a two-bedroom apartment in Eagle Rock. What does that even mean?” Buck shuts the door hard, turning to Bobby with a look of confusion.

“I think it means she’s not comfortable squatting in some stranger’s condo.”

“Abby’s not a stranger.” They stride up to the officer on the scene, shaking her hand politely. “Hi.”

She leads them over to the atm, bringing them around back to where a door is. Buck and Bobby instantly begin inspecting the door, trying to get it to budge with no luck.

“Welded hinges.”

“Yup.”

“Bank said they sent a technician out this morning to replace the lock on the vault.” They follow the officer back around to the front. “Found his van in the lot. Cell phone was in the passenger seat. Best guess is he got locked inside the vault with no way to call out.”

Buck can definitely hear someone crying for help as they fit a camera through the dispenser to see into the other side.

“Sir, we’re gonna get you out of there.” He taps Bobby as the view on the screen catches a man close to passing out inside the atm.

“Oh. There he is.” He looks up at Buck, nodding back to the engines. “Let’s go.”

“I just feel like it’s all happening too fast.” Bobby raises an eyebrow at Buck as they move back to grab the equipment needed to get through the door. “I mean, how many years did it take her before she was ready to leave Doug?”

“That hardly feels like the same thing.”

“My point is, she just got here and now she’s leaving again.”

“Buck, she’s moving to Eagle Rock, not Alaska. It’s ten minutes from your place— _Abby’s_ place.” Buck pauses at the implication but continues to move forward with a shake of his head. Abby’s place is his place. Sort of. “Your sister’s building a new life for herself. Be proud of her.”

And he is proud of her. He’s happy that she’s not letting her fear of Doug control her life, that she’s finally deciding to live happy. But. . . he needs to let her go. He’s realizing all of a sudden how backwards he’s moving from when Abby left. He was supposed to find himself, but with the arrival of Maddie he’s been holding on and refusing to let go. Because he’s desperate for that person to go home to, but he can’t force his sister to be that someone.

He sighs as Bobby saws at the hinges. “You think it’s weird I still live in Abby’s place?” Because honestly, it is just Abby’s place. And honestly, it doesn’t feel like home to Buck. There’s too much of a ghost of Abby and Patricia for it to really feel like his home.

“Yes.”

“Me, too. Don’t tell anyone.” He shakes his head. “It was fine at first, y’know? She was just gonna be gone for a few months and I wanted to be supportive, but she still hasn’t come back and I don’t know what to do. I’m just. . . stuck I guess. We never really broke up, y’know? I told her I’d be right here when she comes back, because she made it very clear that she wasn’t going to be gone forever. But everyone’s convinced that we’re broken up. My mom says she didn’t really think she was right for me. My dad says that she clearly isn’t the one if she left without me. TK’s insistent that I move on and open my eyes to what I really want—which I’m not sure what that is yet. Maddie’s convinced she’s over there screwing other guys. I honestly don’t know what to feel. I’m starting to think. . . maybe, maybe everyone’s right.” He takes the tool from Bobby, wedging it into the door. “We hardly ever even talk, y’know? It’s always time zone issues or cell phone problems.” He honestly finds it hard to believe at this point, and for the last few weeks, Buck hasn’t really tried contacting her as much as he first had. “Did you know she’s been in Morocco over a week?”

“No, I did not know that.”

“No, me neither. Found out yesterday on Instagram.” He shakes his head again, blinking back tears of hurt and confusion. “I still love Abby, and I want her to be happy. How long do I have to wait before I get to be happy, too?” And it’s pent up confusion, anger, hurt, pain. . . all these bottled up emotions that Buck puts into prying the door open. Something snaps at the movement, and Buck and Bobby move back as the door falls to the ground, revealing the trapped man. He looks up at Buck in relief.

“I don’t know this Abby person, but I’ve never been happier to see anyone in my life.”

///////

He needed to get his mind off Abby and off Maddie. And what better way to do it than focusing on his new friend and his favorite kid.

When Eddie strolls into the apartment, he’s glancing around in confusion, missing the excited grin on Buck’s face.

“Thought you said we were helping your sister move. Doesn’t look like she’s packed anything.”

“Oh, this stuff is Abby’s.” He looks at Buck in confusion, eyebrows turning downward in slight worry. “I lied about the whole moving thing. I mean, my sister is moving, it’s just. . . she doesn’t really have that much stuff.”

Buck still can’t help the excited smile spreading across his face, much to Eddie’s confusion. Honestly, it looks like the man is genuinely worried for Buck’s welfare or debating sending him to the nearest mental institute.

“What’s going on, Buck?”

“I asked you here cause there’s someone I want you to meet.” He takes pleasure in the way Eddie’s face changes as though he knows what Buck’s doing. He thinks Buck’s setting him up, and it’ll be even more adoring to see the look of surprise on the man’s face when he introduces him.

“You didn’t set me up, did you?”

“No, just- just trust me.” The more and more Eddie looks at Buck with disinterest, the more the smile on his face grows. “This woman is. . . exactly what you need.”

There’s a knock at the door, and Buck could practically skip away from Eddie with glee.

_The only people who truly navigate a bureaucracy are the people who work inside it._

“She’s here.” Buck all but bounds to the door, opening the door with a large genuine smile at seeing her lovely face once again.

“Buckaroo!”

“Carla!” They both smile and laugh, embracing each other in a well-needed hug. The only other person Buck can consider a friend outside of work and is very happy to see again.

“Baby! Ah. . . Goodness, I missed your face.”

“Oh, I missed you, too!” Buck moves to shut the door behind her, smiling as Eddie peeks around the corner from the living room in confusion at the sight of Carla. “Uh, Eddie! This is my friend, Carla.”

“Nice to meet you, Eddie,” Carla says kindly, shaking Eddie’s hand, respectively.

“Likewise.”

“Carla is LA’s finest home health care aid.” Boom. Worth it. He loves the moment he sees the gears turn, Eddie tilting his head up slightly as if he were silently saying ‘oh. . .’. “She has years of experience navigating giant bureaucracies and I thought she could help you figure out how to get Christopher what he needs.”

Eddie’s face is heartwarming. His smile isn’t the teeth showing, smiling out of amusement smile. No, this one might tie with that smile, though. He shows no teeth, but that doesn’t stop his smile from still being wide and his eyes have a watery layer to them. This. . . this is Eddie’s I’m gonna cry and hug you, thank you so much, how can I repay you, what did I do to deserve a person like you smile. That may seem like a reach but Buck gets all of that from the way Eddie gratefully looks in Buck’s eyes.

“I’m red tapes worst nightmare. I’ll get you through this in no time.” She smiles brightly, moving past Eddie to head into the living room. “Now let’s go sit down and let’s see what you’re working with. Besides that perfect bone structure.”

And when Eddie turns back around, he’s sporting his smiling out of amusement smile, flashing Buck those pearly whites and very sharp canines. He quickly pulls Buck into yet another hug, pulling back quickly after rubbing his eyes. He moves to follow Carla, but then stops, turning back around to Buck with a pointed finger.

“I’m not crying.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re eyes are just sweaty.” Buck smiles heartwarmingly, nodding his head. “I have your back, Eddie.”

“Thank you so much!” He nods his head back. “Te amo. I swear I’m gonna find someway to give to you what you’ve given to me.”

///////

 **Buck  
** Do you happen to know Spanish?

 **Ty  
** This wouldn’t have anything to do with  
Eddie, would it?

 **Buck  
** No.  
. . .  
Maybe.  
What does te amo mean?

 **Ty  
** I love you

 **Buck  
** I love you too  
Now what does te amo mean?

 **Ty  
**. . .  
smh

 **Buck  
** Ty  
Ty  
Tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
Oh, it means I love you.  
Good to know.

///////

“Maybe we pop the hinges off the door,” Eddie suggests, tilting his head at the doorframe as Maddie moves into view.

“Or we use the Jaws of Life.” Eddie nods, throwing Buck a finger gun.

“No, no, no!” Maddie looks between the two as if they’ve lost their minds. “It has to fit. I measured it twice. Can’t you guys just, y’know, turn it around the other way?”

Buck looks at her in all seriousness, nodding to the boxes stacked on top. “And then the pizza will slide off.”

“You have pizza on my new sofa!?”

“It’s on the plastic!” She guffaws, shaking her head at her brother before storming back inside with the box of pizza’s in hand.

“Okay!” Buck moves back to the front of the couch, catching Eddie’s amused smirk from a glance. “What?”

“It’s entertaining watching you and Maddie just. . . act like siblings.”

“If you think that’s entertaining just wait until TK comes back around.”

Eddie chuckles, the two lifting the couch turning it this time since they don’t have to worry about the pizza on top. “Alright, pivot!”

“Lift with your legs!”

“Lift with your legs,” Buck repeats in a mocking tone, voice quiet so Chim won’t hear. “No, I was gonna lift with my—back! Oh my back!”

Eddie raises both eyebrows, shaking his head at Buck. “Are you done drama queen?”

“You youngins don’t know what it’s like,” Buck croons, continuing to help Eddie move the couch through the door. “When you get to be my age, your body doesn’t work like it used to.”

“I’m older than you, Buck.”

“Oh, I know. It’s worse for you senior citizens.” Buck wiggles his eyebrows at Eddie as the man rolls his eyes, still sporting his amused smirk. “Tell me, Eddie, is it true you old hags have performance issues? Hmm?”

“Keep it up, Buck.”

“Oh, I do keep it up. You on the other hand. . .”

“I will drop this couch on you.” Buck barks out a laugh as Eddie makes it through the doorframe. “I _will_ drop this couch on you.”

“Hey, thank you guys for helping me on your day off,” Maddie says as Buck and Eddie set the couch down. Eddie moves towards Maddie, excitedly taking the boxes of pizza off her hands.

“Don’t worry about it. Plates?”

“Countertop. Kitchen.”

“Beer?” Chimney asks, handing Maddie a tablet.

“Uh, also kitchen, fridge.”

“Clever.” Chim heads into the kitchen behind Eddie. When Buck moves over to his sister, eyes furrowed at her eyes lingering on the men in the kitchen, she turns to him, pointing towards the room.

“He is so cute.”

Oh, so that’s what she was staring for. “Yeah, he gets that a lot.” Buck can definitely see why. He’s fantasized from time to time. Running his hands up and down Eddie’s chest, kissing Eddie earnestly while feeling out the man’s sharp canines with his own tongue, hands curling in Eddie’s fluff as he would bring the man back down into a very risqué position. And that was just Buck’s shower fantasies. He also had the fantasies of waking up next to a sleepy Eddie, the man wrapping his arms around him from behind as Buck would cook for them (because surprisingly, the father cannot cook for shit and has a worrying liking for pizza), just being able to call the man his. And then the cherry on top, him, Eddie, and Chris. The family he always wanted. It’d be the three of them having fun, growing old together, making cherishing memories. Yeah, he can agree with his sister’s sentiment, though ‘cute’ would not be the word Buck would use, and Buck wouldn’t just use one word. “Uh, you should meet his kid, though.”

“Wait, Chimney has a kid?”

Blankness. Maddie has successfully broken Buck’s brain. “No, I- I thought you meant. . .” Chimney? Chimney!? Maddie walks off, a sly smile on her face. “Chimney?”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“This is Taylor Kelly with your morning traffic update. . . and we are going down!”_

///////

It’s very loud, wind aggressively slapping at Buck do to the rotor blades still spinning with great speeds. They’re all crouched low, and he sees Bobby reach out, pulling Athena around the truck to crouch with them.

“When the pilot radioed, they were having mechanical trouble!” Athena has to shout to be heard over the roar of the helicopter. “Looks like he tried to put it down in the field over there!”

Bobby peeks around to study the helicopter, moving back to look at the team. “Yeah, it got close!”

“Yeah, not close enough!” Athena glances to the people crouched by the concession building, phones in hand and pointed at the helicopter stuck in the bleachers. “Get down, people, move! Move! Go!”

“Alright,” Athena rushes off to help move civilians away and Eddie, Buck, Hen, and Chim move forward to hear Bobby better. “We’re gonna fan out, go behind those bleachers! Eddie, after we get the people out, you think you can kill that engine?”

“Think so! I’m just worried about the dynamic rollover!”

Buck furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “The dynamic what?”

Eddie looks between the helicopter and Buck. “We change the weight ratio by pulling people out, whole thing could tip over, rotors could snap off!”

Buck nods in understanding. “And then flying rocks are gonna be the least of our problems.”

“Alright! Visors down! Let’s go!”

Buck runs behind Bobby and Eddie behind the bleachers, climbing up and keeping his head low as they peek inside, catching a glimpse of an orange-haired girl inside.

“Buck, get her out of there!”

“On it, Cap!” He opens the door, smiling reassuringly as she unbuckles her seat belt and Buck grabs her bridal style. “Put your arms around me!” She wraps her arms tightly around his neck, breathing quickly. “Yes. Alright, here we go!”

The helicopter groans and slides slightly, causing the woman to slide out of Buck’s arms. She cries out and Buck quickly grabs her leg, keeping her from falling to the other side. She shimmies back up and he grabs her once more, holding on tightly this time and turning. The moment he’s told, he hops of the helicopter, rushing her to the safety of the ambulance as Eddie quickly gets in and shuts off the engine.

*****

“Pulse, ox is good.” Hen reaches to pull the oxygen mask off of the woman’s face. “We can get rid of this.”

“How’re you doing?” Athena asks, flashing her charming, motherly smile.

“I’m not sure. How’s Trent? Is he okay?”

“Your pilot’s gonna be just fine.”

“Hey, do me a favor.” Because leave it to Buck to always get sidetracked. But when he hears a voice that he’s heard before, he’s gonna get a little sidetracked. “Uh, say, ‘And on the 405 speeds are under five miles an hours, making your morning commute a rough one’.”

“Seriously?” Hen and Athena shake their heads at Buck as the woman smiles softly.

“I- I- I know that voice. It’s, uh, it’s Taylor Kelly reporting, right? Right.” Buck gestures back at the helicopter excitedly. “Skywitness News Eight.”

“That’s me.”

“Wow, um. . .” Just imagine if Buck met a real celebrity, he’d be a bumbling mess. “. . . it’s, uh, it’s weird to hear that voice come out of a face.” It’s almost scary how similar she is to Abby. Only hearing her from her voice and suddenly he’s face to face with her. It doesn’t help that she holds the same striking orange hair that Abby had. And at first, it was just his excitement of meeting someone who’s been on his television before, but then it turned into the world playing a very fucked up game on him. As if to rub in his face how bad he misses Abby by shoving Abby 2.0 into his life.

“Thank you?”

“Um, you have helped me beat traffic in this city more times than you will ever know.”

“Oh, you might want to Uber tomorrow.”

He chuckles, and he’s got to stop himself from doing this. He’s looking at her the way he did Abby, but it’s not okay because he’s doing her like he did the rest of those girls. He’s not seeing Taylor Kelly, he’s seeing Abby.

He’s got to get away from Taylor Kelly.

///////

_To whoever is directing the flow of my life. . . fuck you. From the bottom of my heart, a great big fuck you._

Buck’s definitely screwed. He can’t help but be all smiles and laughs around Taylor because she just reminds him so much of his girlfriend. . . ex-girlfriend? Either way, there’s a part of him, an ugly part that Buck’s been working hard to bury, that claws itself to the surface as he turns off the hose from spraying car and he strides towards Taylor in surprise as she watches Bobby walk off to his office.

“Uh, Taylor Kelly?” _Houston, we have a problem._ “W- what are you doing here?”

“You can just call me Taylor.” She smiles suggestively at Buck, or was that his imagination? “Uh, how was your drive in? Did you miss me?”

“My morning definitely wasn’t the same without you. I—”

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Buck moves his eyes from Taylor to Eddie. A war of the drugs. Taylor’s strong, got Buck wanting to give in so bad. But then there’s Eddie. Eddie can make everything around Buck just disappear to where he’s only seeing them. He honestly considers maybe seeing a therapist. . . but he doubts that’ll end up better than last time. “Any side effects after the crash?”

The effects of Eddie work perfectly, and the painful smile Buck couldn’t seem to drop was finally gone. There’s no lure of Taylor Kelly when Eddie’s around.

“I’m great. Thanks to all of you, which is why I’m here. You guys were so amazing, I want to do a story on this firehouse and on the heroes who work here.”

“Yeah, but you do traffic.” And once glance around at his team has Buck wondering, _am I the only person who seems to be happy with her presence?_ Eddie was nice, and Buck honestly thought at first that the man was flirting, but upon Eddie being closer, Buck can see the almost imperceptible tick in his jaw, as if he were grinding his teeth.

“I’m not quite ready to go back in the sky, so I thought I’d try my hand at telling a story from the ground.”

Hen chuckles dryly, jumping down from the ambulance with a smile that was far from genuine. “And use your newfound fame to put your face in front of the camera.”

“That too.”

“Smart girl.” The smile falls and Buck blinks, taking in Chim’s eye roll at Taylor and. . . oh. His Abby 2.0 is his Tatiana 2.0. He can definitely see it, though Tatiana’s hair was not as bright as Taylor’s. But that’s beside the point. The point is. . . Buck really _is_ the only one who seems to be happy with her presence. Now that is something he finds interesting.

“I can’t wait to interview all of you. I want to know why you chose this job, the crazy things you’ve seen, what it’s like to face death.” Honestly, she lost him at ‘interview’. One thing he learned to dislike were interviewers. He’d rather not have a repeat of the whole thing with Dennis. “I mean, Howie, you almost died, right?”

“Actually, nobody calls me that. It’s Chimney.”

“I bet there’s a story there.”

Hen’s smile is more genuine this time. “Not one you can tell on TV.”

“Well, you must’ve really impressed the chief.” _Oh, Bobby, not you too._ The captain comes strolling over to the group, but Buck can see the strain in his smile. Now he’s really confused. Is he missing something? Why does it seem like no one really likes her? “He said to give you whatever access you need.”

“Don’t worry, Captain Nash, your story’s in good hands. I’m gonna make you all famous.”

*****

“So, have you done it yet?”

Buck looks up at Eddie in confusion, face stuffed with a cupcake. He may have snuck a few downstairs to avoid Bobby’s pass of judgement. Who can blame him? He loves carbs. “Do what?”

“Chew and swallow, Buck. Chew,” Buck mushes the sugar treat in his mouth. “Now swallow.”

He really regrets shoving the entire thing in his mouth. Now he needs something to wash down the—wow. He looks up at Eddie in surprise, gratefully taking the bottle of water off his hands. He chugs half the bottle before putting the top back on.

“So, did you do the—”

“Interview!” Taylor and her camera man come waltzing into the locker room, and Buck internally groans. “Buck, for a guy so keen on hearing my voice and seeing my face, you sure have been hard to catch around here.” She stands in front of the two, though she disregards Eddie. “So, tell me. What made you decide to become a firefighter.”

Buck sighs. “To be honest, I kinda just fell into it. I. . . before this job there was just so many times where I’ve seen people in trouble or helpless and some lived but so many others died. And I guess there was always just this strong need in me to help people, y’know?”

“What did you see? How did it make you feel? What compelled you to develop that need?”

“I. . .” And this is what he wanted to avoid. The memories. He’d rather not spill his guts on television. And luckily, he won’t have to. The bell is ringing before he can say anything else. “. . . have to go.”

///////

“Buck, what the hell are you doing?” Buck immediately freezes, looking like a deer caught in headlights as Eddie and Hen make their way over to the table.

“Nough-fing.”

Eddie shakes his head, eyes narrowing. “Alright, big guy, move away from the table. Leave some for the rest of us.” Eddie ushers Buck away, snatching a brownie from out of his hand. “And what did I tell you before? Chew and swall—ohh.”

Buck practically chokes as he moves away from Eddie. He felt that moan deep within his soul, and that is most definitely not okay. He holds up a hand as some look at him in concern, also eating the oh so delicious brownies. “I’m good, I’m good.”

“So is this,” Eddie takes another slow bite, and moves back with Hen for yet another brownie. “Were you guys just gonna eat all the brownies and not tell anybody? I’m hurt.”

“Well, luckily there were some left.” Buck holds up his last brownie—he will never admit to the unnecessary amount he’d had before Eddie had dragged him away from the table—taking a small slow bite out of it.

He’s sees Chim bound towards the table with a smile and cringes. Hen, Eddie, and Buck had grabbed the last ones. He watches as he opens the container, groaning loudly.

“Serious, you guys? You couldn’t even leave me any crumbs?”

And Buck. . . Buck definitely has to take advantage of the moment. So, he’s approaching Chim while audibly enjoying his last brownie, Eddie following close behind. “Ooh, Chim, you missed out.”

“Is that chocolate?” Chim asks in a small, jealous tone and Buck smiles at him with a twinkle in his eyes, shoving the last of the brownie into his mouth.

“Mmm.” Eddie mumbles taking a slow bite of his right in front of Chimney. Now that’s cruel. “Fudge. With nuts.”

“I love fudge with nuts.”

“Oh, damn,” And he has to bite his lip from barking out a laugh at Hen’s mocking apologetic tone. “You would’ve loved these because. . . scrumptious.”

He sets the empty container down in defeat shaking his head. He looks up at Taylor and Trent, the two having caught everything on camera. “I’m sorry you had to see this, this dark underbelly of hour twenty-one in a twenty-four-hour shift. Gets pretty mercenary around here.”

They all head to the engines when the bell is ringing, Buck sliding in right beside Eddie with a frown.

“You good?”

He looks at Eddie with furrowed eyebrows, then to Hen. “I swear I hear a choir singing.”

Yep, he can hear it. It’s pretty low, but very harmonic.

“Um, okay, Buck. If you say so.” And then Chim hops in as well, saying something to Taylor and Trent before shutting the door.

_To infinity. . . and beyond!_

///////

It’s so surreal. Everything is so yellow. It’s like he’s looking through one of those color filtered magnifying glasses. Chim is yellow. Eddie’s yellow. Hen is. . . honey mustard. Buck giggles a little, and when he looks to Chim, the man raises an eyebrow which slowly begins to do the worm across his face.

_Cool. I wonder if he’ll teach me that._

“Man!” He turns to Eddie. . . Freddie. . . Eddie-Freddie. . . Freddie-Eddie. “Allergies are going crazy today.”

Well maybe that’s why it’s so yellow outside. “You too, huh? The index wasn’t elevated this morning. Think it’s a new kind?”

“New kind of what?”

“Of pollen.” Duh. He wonders if the sirens can blare any louder, because somehow he can still hear the choir—and over the flipping siren. Whatever this pollen is, it’s messing with his head.

“A new kind of pollen?” He jumps a little. Chim needs to dial it back on the volume and bass. His ear is ringing from it. The whole right side of his face is ringing from it.

“You’re not feeling this, Chim?”

“No, I do not.”

“I can see the pollen.”

He wish he could understand what the freaking choir was going on about. “I can hear it.”

*****

Pink. . . yellow. . . pink. . . yellow. . . Happy birthday! _Wait, who’s birthday is it?_ Holy shit. Is that Princess Cinderella? Why the hell is she so small?

He leans more towards Eddie in slight concern. “Did these beauty queens shrink, or are we suddenly giants?”

He sees Eddie’s ‘oh shit’ moment as he backs up, eyes wide. He’s always wondered what it was like to be a giant. It’s like looking down at a bunch of ants.

Blue. . . Red. . . Feathers. . . Yell—oh shit! It’s Belle. Does that mean there’s a miniature beast running about? Or are only the princesses cursed?

“I think he means you, guys.” Huh. Whoa. . . Gun. Taser. Badge. Athena! She’s a giant too?

“Hey, Athena.” The one. The only. The all-knowing. . . looks like a bumble bee in all this yellow. Black and yellow. . . black and yellow, black and yellow. “They’re, like, the tiniest ladies I’ve ever seen. Teeny-tiny.”

“Excuse me?”

“So tiny,” Freddie breathes out next to him. At least someone around here gets it.

“Henrietta!”

Where is Hen? There is Hen. Lost a Hen. Found a Hen.

He can see himself and he glides towards himself. Mind blown.

“Yo man.” The blonde man in front of him smiles brightly. “This is crazy. You look just like me.”

“Guys! Look at me!” The world is spinning. Spinning annnnnnd. . . Chim. It’s Chim. “Do you know where you are?”

Daisyland. Maybe that’s why it’s so yellow. Like the balloon.

Yellow. . . pink. . . yellow. . . pink. . . Happy birthday!

_Wait, who’s birthday is it?_

~~

Eddie dances like a chicken. Wait, no. He’s resisting arrest. _Ooh, somebody’s in trouble._

“What’s going on?” He frowns, stomping his feet. “I don’t like this.”

“Ooh, you made him cry. . .”

Athena! Why is her head throbbing?

“Alright, just breathe, okay? You’re gonna be okay?” Maybe he should kiss it better. He’s looking at Eddie’s face. . . he’s just gotta plant one right on the forehead. “Alright? Somebody dosed you with a hallucinogen. We don’t want you to hurt yourself or anyone else.”

Athena’s whole body is throbbing. . . wavy. . . is she the car dealership alien? He likes those. . . they always dance so invitingly.

“Buck, quit wiggling around. Sit him down. I’m worried about that one.”

“’Thena, your head is beating like your heart.”

“Is it?”

Poof. She’s gone. Magician style. He hops up. . . hop. . . hop. . . hop, hop, hop.

“Hey, Buck.” It’s mumbled right against his neck because Eddie’s on the floor. . . and Buck’s on top of Eddie. . . and his lips are on his forehead. Mission accomplished.

And then he can fly, right off of Eddie and back to his time out corner.

~~

“He’s still out of it?”

“He did have the most brownies.” Eddie’s in his view, wiping a thumb along his cheek. “Hey, why are you crying?”

“Why can’t I leave time out?”

“You’re not in timeout, Buck. You’re just here for your safety.”

“I want my hands back. I want to hold her.”

“Hold who, Buck?”

“Aimée.” He looks down at the three-year-old next to him, moving to rest his head against hers. Eddie’s catching him before he can. “She’s so pretty. Just like her mom.”

“Who’s Aimée, Buck?”

“She’s my daughter, duh.” Eddie looks back at Hen in concern. “What? Don’t act like you haven’t heard about the birds and the bees.”

“I think he’s still out of it. He doesn’t have any kids.”

“No, maybe not now.”

“Not now?”

“He had said something about not exactly being a father. . . Buck, what happened to Aimée?”

Buck’s eyes widen, looking back to the spot next to him. “She’s gone.” He tries to stand, but Eddie’s shoving him back down. “You’ve gotta help me find her, Eddie!”

“She was never there, Buck.” He stills, blinks. Again. And again. The haziness gets a little bit clearer.

“Yeah. . . yeah, she’s gone. She was never here.”

“What happened to Aimée, Buck?”

“She never got to live.”

///////

“Hey.” Buck doesn’t look up, but he knows it’s Bobby entering the room. And by the sound of feet, Chim, Hen, and Eddie are in tow. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like I really, really hate drugs.”

“That’s understandable.” Bobby kneels in front of him, catching his gaze. “You know we’re right here for you, Buck. Kid. . . you can’t keep that pain bottled up in you.”

Bobby’s hand is on his shoulder, and Buck’s finally looking at him through tears. “I was so excited to finally have my own buddle of joy. . . and she was right there. And then she was gone the next. I moved here after her death.”

And he can’t stop the sob wracking his body, and he let’s himself fall into Bobby’s embrace, and seconds later, more arms are embracing him, engulfing him in a cocoon of love.

*****

He frowns at the house Eddie pulls into. He had been quiet the entire drive, but when Eddie pulled into the driveway he had spun to the man in confusion.

“Um. . . Eddie? This is Abby’s apartment.”

“No, it’s my house.” Eddie shuts off the engine, raising an eyebrow at Buck as though challenging him to object. “You have my back, Buck. I have yours. I can’t bring Aimée back, but if there’s one person I know can cheer anybody up, it’s Chris.” Buck smiles genuinely, trying to hold back the heartwarming tears. “I told you I owe you, well, I’m giving you the gift of parenting. Chris is excited to spend the rest of the day and night with you. You think you can handle a night at casa de Diaz?”

Buck moves forward, hugging Eddie tightly. He pulls back, smirking. “Bring it on, Edmundo.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news guys, if the relationship isn't in the tags, don't fret about seeing it in the story (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge). I'm glad to be back, and I hope you guys are staying safe and enjoying the story.
> 
> Just a few warnings for this chapter. Mentions of being shot, references to 9/11, mentions of vehicular manslaughter, and character deaths. If there's anything else you feel I need to add, let me know.
> 
> Alright, without further ado, Chapter ten.

“How are you feeling?”

The small smile Buck sports is a nervous one as he glances from Trent to Taylor. He’s ready to be done with the two and never see them again, but some things still need to be done.

“Y’know, like I have a clear head again.” He settles on keeping his hands in between his thighs and leaning forward instead of twiddling his thumbs, offering a joking shoulder shrug. “Well, as clear as my head can get anyway.”

Taylor offers up her own small smile, but there’s a twistedness to it that Buck can’t seem to unsee. “So, Buck, did you come here to catch up or. . ?”

“Um, I was. . . I was hoping that all that footage with the, y’know, the brownies. Could you not include that in the exclusive?” He leans back into a less tense position, sighing deeply. “In return. . . I’ll finish the interview from earlier. I know I never got to explain why I developed a deep need to help people.”

Taylor nods thoughtfully, jamming an elbow into Trent’s side. He scuffles out of the booth and Buck and Taylor wait in awkward silence for him to return with camera in hand. Taylor sits up straighter, showing more teeth and unintentionally making her smile seem even more twisted.

“So, Evan Buckley, last time we were sadly interrupted before you could explain to us what it was that made you decide to become a firefighter. You said you had developed a deep need to help people. What was it that prompted you to feel such a way?”

///////

When the time for Taylor’s special arrives, the whole station is up in the lobby, converging around the tv. Buck and Eddie sit side by side on the couch, and Hen is on the arm next to Buck while Chim strides up behind them, setting a bowl of popcorn in between the two youngest members of their team.

_“We see them everyday on the streets of Los Angeles running into burning buildings, pulling people from wrecked cars and collapsing high-rises, and even saving this reporter from a helicopter that spun out of control.”_

“Where’s Cap?” Buck glances around at Eddie’s question, just now noticing the absence of Bobby.

“Not watching with us?”

“No.” Chim reaches forward, grabbing a handful of popcorn with his eyes on the screen. “Said he had other things to do.”

Hen chuckles lightly. “I think his words were he’d rather do anything other than this.”

_“They are the brave men and women of the Los Angeles Fire Department. And it was my own brush with death that inspired me to share their story, so you can all see what it takes and what it means to be one of them.”_

The scene changes, and face after face pops up on the screen as Taylor begins with the interviews of why the members of this station chose to do what they do now.

 _“What made me want to become a firefighter?”_ Chim is the first one of the group to appear on the screen, popping a chip in his mouth as he stares off thoughtfully. _“That’s a great question. I mean, what little kid doesn’t want to be a firefighter? Especially. . . a hot firefighter.”_

Chim turns a shade of pink as everyone turns to him with big, playful smirks. “Give me a break, guys, it was my first time being a calendar boy.”

 _“What I missed most after leaving the Army is the camaraderie, working shoulder-to-shoulder with a great team.”_ Eddie leans a little more into Buck’s space, his shoulder bumping with Buck’s. _“And there’s none better than the one I found here.”_

 _“Short answer: I got shot.”_ Buck doesn’t move from Eddie’s space, but he does reach up his hand, holding onto Hen’s in comfort. _“The bullet wasn’t meant for me, um. . . I was sixteen years old, walking home from school, and I hear this pop, pop, pop. And next thing, I feel this penetrating pain just throw me to the ground. The stray bullet had entered my back, ruptured a kidney, and, uh, grazed my aorta.”_

Buck places the bowl into Eddie’s lap, scooting closer to him to allow Hen room to slide next to him and lay her head down on his shoulder. Her eyes are watering just as they do on the screen, and Buck, Chim, and Eddie are quick to soothe her as she watches herself tell her story.

_“I was dying. And then someone yelled, ‘Call 9-1-1’. And I guess someone did because the next thing you know , I was in the back of an ambulance, and these two paramedics were working on me and just telling me to stay with them. Y’know, their skill kept me from dying, but the way they cared for me. . . that’s what kept me alive.”_

_“To be honest, I kinda just fell into it. I. . .”_ Buck shifts, slightly nervous as his face comes onto the screen and it’s all eyes on him. The real him. The vulnerable Buck deep down that he rarely shows. _“Before this job, there was just so many times where I’ve seen people in trouble or helpless and some lived but so many others died. And I guess there was always just this strong need in me to help people, y’know?”_

He catches the way Eddie and Hen glance to him out of the corner of his eye as the scene changes to him seated at a booth in a little coffee shop, Taylor explaining having been cut short before he could finish his interview.

 _“That need within me. . . it blossomed when I was a kid and it just continued to grow the more I grew up and the more I saw. I was ten when it first came to me. I was with my mom, my sister, and my brother. My dad—step-dad—was working. He was a firefighter, too, and I always looked up to him.”_ Everyone watches with curious eyes as Buck clears his throat, glancing out the window out of nervousness before looking back at Taylor. _“That day really made me feel helpless.”_

_“What day?”_

_“The eleventh of September. 2001.”_ It seems as though the air grows three times thicker after he says it, and Buck pointed continues to stare at the screen even though he can feel a lot of eyes on him. _“I saw. . . everything. The planes crashing into the towers. People jumping to their deaths. The collapse. It was all so horrifying. And the worst part is knowing there’s nothing you can do. It’s a traumatic thing, watching the deaths of thousands.”_

_“You had said this need grew. Did something else happen later on?”_

_“Yes. I was seventeen. And it was Valentine’s Day. I was with my friend Samuel, and he had bought me a Jeep Wrangler that day. Y’know, my friend Sam was my best friend. He was there for me, helped me with nightmares from 9/11, he was a true ride or die friend. He was this great guy completely, so of course when he sees someone pulled over on the side of the road, he’s gonna want to stop to see if everything’s alright.”_

“Is this. . ?” Buck looks over to Hen as she sits up more, eyebrows furrowed as she looks from the tv to Buck. “Is this what I think it is?”

Buck doesn’t say anything, but his eyes convey enough of an answer for her.

_“This kind of sounds familiar.”_

_“I’m sure it does, it was on the news.”_

_“A case of affluenza?”_

On the screen, Buck nods sadly. _“I chose to stay anonymous; I really didn’t want to talk about it. The thing about that night was I saw that truck coming from the distance. And I never stopped to think that maybe that truck was approaching awfully fast. Sam, he loved cars, was good with engines and he had asked me to grab a bag of tools from the jeep so he could help with the car on the side of the road. That’s why I survived. I was in the Jeep when the truck had come barreling through them and slamming into the rear.”_

_“And the worst part of that was coming to and looking for him and seeing body after body after body. That’s what really drove home that need. All I could do was nothing. No one was moving. Practically everyone one of them was dead. Of course, some did make it, but that’s not what I saw. I saw so many people lying in ditches, Sam included. And I tried so hard to bring him back, and I couldn’t.”_

_“And, y’know, I really didn’t want to see anymore deaths. I always have hope that with this job, I can keep people from facing that inevitable fate.”_

*****

“You missed a hell of a show.” The tone has eventually gotten lighter after Buck’s interview and the team decided not to press any further about his interview after the conclusion. He’s grateful for it because he just wanted to go about the way he normally did.

Besides, he needed to find Bobby.

The captain sighs, sitting up from bench presses with a look of resignation. “Alright, how bad was it.”

“No, not bad at all. You were barely in it.” True to her word, the most he saw of Bobby were the clips of the team out on a call. Not a single clip included the mishap with the brownies. “Um, it was nice, y’know, kind- kind of like a puff piece. She didn’t use any of your interview or mention the LSD.”

“Why would she leave that stuff out?”

It’s the one-time Buck feels great about meeting Taylor outside of the station. “I, uh. . . I think she likes me.”

“Hm.”

///////

“Doesn’t look like you’ll have to worry about traffic anymore.” Buck was highly reluctant to see her again, but he’d be a jackass if he didn’t at least thank her for what she did for him—well, more for Bobby.

“Hey, there. I guess so.” He stops a foot or so away from her, hands in his pocket as a tiny voice in his head tells him to speed up the process. “Our department piece was pretty well received, so they’re letting me do more. Nothing major yet, just mosquitoes and neighbors fighting about bamboo. But it’s a start.”

“Well, I will miss hearing your voice every day.” Yeah, time to speed it along, he’s along reverting to his flirtatious smile. “I’m happy for you and. . . and I wanted to thank you for what you did for Bobby, not using any of that stuff he said.”

“Oh, that wasn’t my call.” Wasn’t her call? What’s that supposed to mean? “I wanted to use all of it, I got overruled.”

“Uh, wait. . .” He furrows his eyebrows out of confusion and a bit of anger. He knew there was something twisted about her smile. “You were gonna use it?”

“Hell yeah.” He’s finally starting to see why the rest of the team didn’t like her at all. “The only reason we didn’t is because apparently your lawyers are scarier than ours. Look, your job is saving lives. Mine is telling their stories, even the ones they might not want me to.”

Yeah, nothing like Abby. And he’s glad this is the last he’ll see of her. “That’s some stupid job. It’s all you really care about.”

He walks off with nothing else to say to her. And she can shout at his back all she wants, no one treats his family that way. No one.

_This is Evan Buckley reporting. . . goodbye Taylor Kelly._

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Uh, I was hiking, fell off. . . the cliff gave out. Can- can you hear me?”_

_“Uh, I- I can hear you, sir. I’m here. Do you know where you fell?”_

_“I w—I was on the San Ramon Trail. I think. . . Oh, God. I broke my leg, for sure. I can see the bone in. . .”_

_“I can barely hear you, sir. Can you tell me precisely where on the trail?”_

_“Vista Point. Abalone Cove. I’m bleeding. Please, God, help me. Please. . .”_

_“Hello?”_

///////

“Buck?” Buck jostles awake when someone places their hand on his shoulder and begins to shake him erratically. When he opens his eyes, Eddie’s waving a granola bar and bottle of water in his face. “Wake up, bud. We’re gonna be there soon.”

Buck silently takes the items, scarfing down the granola bar and downing three-quarters of the bottle before blinking rapidly, seemingly more awake than before. “Thanks.”

“Why are you so tired?”

“Hen may or may not have. . . spooked me a little with upset spirits.” The previous night involved digging up many graves in order to save a man who unfortunately ended up being buried alive. Walking away from the grave site, the paramedic had mentioned hoping that the spirits understood why. Buck thought she was playing around, but after looking back and catching the front loader Hen had operated sink into the large hole of disturbed graves, Buck hadn’t been able to sleep well. “I thought there was a ghost in the apartment.”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts.”

“Actually. . .” The engine rolls to a stop, and Eddie smirks as he hops up, Buck following with a shake of his head. “I’m telling you, Eds, they’re real.”

“Eds?”

“It just came out.” His cheeks tint slightly as he turns to grab his equipment, following behind Eddie to meet up with Bobby, Chim, and Hen.

“The old trail should be right up there. Park warden said they closed it down a few years back. Guess every once in a while they still get a thrill-seeker who ignores the signs.”

Captain and Eddie lead the way up the trail to the edge of the cliff. “They haven’t been able to ping the phone?”

“No contact since the call was dropped.”

“Cap!” Eddie rushes to the left, having spotted something the others didn’t.

“Yeah.”

Buck glances as well, following behind Eddie towards the selfie stick lying near the edge down a trail slightly below the cliff they’re on. “Guess this is where he went over.”

“Alright, everybody, gear up. Hen, Chimney, get the winch and the guidelines. Prep a basket just in case. I’m gonna radio Aerial Recon, have ‘em on standby.”

“Copy that.”

“This is Captain Bobby Nash, T-118. Aerial Recon to Abalone Cove in Palos Verdes.”

_“Copy that, T-118.”_

~~

“Ladies first.” Buck turns his head to look up at Eddie, an eyebrow cocked.

“Oh, well, then by all means, go ahead.” Eddie and Buck both smirk before Buck descends first, Eddie’s watchful gaze on him to make sure he doesn’t slip.

“Alright, big jump, Eddie.” Buck’s completely under the older man now, and Eddie moves to follow Buck down. “Come on.”

Eddie reaches the ground a few seconds after Buck does, unclipping himself and following behind Buck as they search for their missing hiker.

_“Buck! Eddie! You guys see anything down there?”_

“Nah.” Buck looks out at the crystal-clear water, enjoying the way the water glimmers from the sunlight. “Just a million-dollar view.”

He looks over to Eddie, who cocks his head at something under the large rock Buck stands on. He kneels with eyebrows furrowed, pulling back the dry brush. “Cap, found something.”

_“Is it our hiker?”_

“A hiker.” Buck jumps off the rock, kneeling down next to Eddie to also study the remains of a previous hiker. He pulls out a bag that seems to still be intact after what seems to be quite a bit of years. “Don’t think it’s the one we came looking for. It’s human remains, Cap. Skeletal remains.”

_“Alright. Well, flag it but don’t disturb it. We’ll call it in.”_

“Unless. . .” Buck holds up an iPhone, waving it at Eddie with raised eyebrows.

Eddie shakes his head, laughing incredulously at Buck. “What? You think a ghost called 9-1-1?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Help!” Buck and Eddie looks up in sync at the sound of a man’s voice.

“Okay. So, no ghost.”

_“What’s going on down there, guys?”_

“Yeah, I think we heard something, Cap.”

Buck and Eddie walk a bit further away from the skeleton, stumbling along a man laying on his back, bruised and groaning in pain.

“Easy, buddy.” Eddie is the first one to kneel by the man, Buck scrambling right behind him. “We’re here.”

“Hey, Cap, we’ve got a live one.”

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Ian.”

“Ian? Okay. We’re gonna get you out of here. Okay?”

“My le—my leg is broken.” Oh, that bit was fairly obvious. Buck can see clearly—because Ian’s dressed in shorts—that among his purple and black leg is a protruding bone, sticking at almost a disgusting ninety-degree angle.

_“Alright, guys, we’re gonna send a basket down to you.”_

“How’d you find me?”

“It wasn’t easy. You weren’t on long enough for them to ping your phone.”

“On with who?”

Buck furrows his eyes in confusion. Does he have a possible head injury? “With, uh, with 9-1-1.”

“I dropped my phone when I went over. I didn’t call 9-1-1.”

Buck and Eddie turn their heads slowly, looking at each other incredulously

_Who looks foolish now, Eddie?_

///////

_“Hey, how’s it going?”_

“I hate the world.”

_“What did I miss?”_

“Ty, I’m beginning to think the signs of the world are trying to tell me that I’m meant to forever be alone.”

_“What makes you say that?”_

“Abby left—”

_“Eddie showed up. With a beautiful kid and a mother—”_

“Who he’s still married to.”

_“. . . Come again?”_

“So, I got Carla to help Eddie through his situation with Christopher, right? Well, he’s trying to get Chris enrolled into a new school, a real fancy school. But this school, they need to have a family interview. And he can’t tell them to not talk to Chris’ mom because they’re technically still married.”

_“Dang. That means—”_

“He’s gonna have to reach out to her again. And by the way he talks about her, as if he’s hurt but still misses her, I bet you they marriage is going to be rekindled.”

_“Okay, yeah, that’s. . . I got nothing.”_

“Thank you so much for that helpful advice, TK.”

_“Alright, tell you what, Buck. I will help you work through this, but I have important dinner plans tonight—”_

“Let me know how the proposal goes. And when the wedding is.”

TK chuckles softly. _“Will do, Bucky. Wish me luck.”_

“You don’t need luck. Go get ‘em, tiger.”

///////

“So, it was a ghost?” Maddie shakes her head, but Buck is thoroughly convinced. Seven years ago, a man called 9-1-1 saying the same thing the man who called Maddie had said. But when going back to Maddie’s call, apparently no voice having been recorded.

“Why are you whispering and what did I just say?”

“Yes, but your tech guy says it was some kind of glitch in the system.”

Maddie sighs with a shake of her head, clearly having a hard time believing it. “Turns out a bunch of the calls had weird static.”

“Okay, so how do you explain that it was the exact same call?”

“I said it sounded like the same call. A lot of these calls sound the same.”

“Tell yourself that if it makes you feel better, but we both know a ghost call 9-1-1.”

Maddie rolls her eyes as she moves to the table, bottle of wine in hand. “Okay. Y’know, I keep thinking about the wedding ring. I mean, you saw it, right? How many nights someone was just waiting for news.”

Buck follows Maddie to the table with the Chinese takeout they had ordered, sitting down across from her. “I heard somewhere a person is declared legally dead after they’ve been gone for seven years.”

“Yeah. I think you have to sign, like, a petition or something. God, that is so awful. Having to admit to the world that you’ve lost hope.”

“Well, seven years is a long time. Probably lost hope way before that.” Maddie’s words hit way too close to home, more than she may realize. Buck glances solemnly around Abby’s kitchen before raising a piece of beef to his mouth with the chopsticks. “No one can wait forever.”

“Yeah, hope is a tricky thing.” Or maybe Maddie does know how hard her words are hitting. She’s looking at him pointedly, and he wishes she wouldn’t. He knows that it’s sad, how he stays here like a broken puppy waiting obediently for Abby to return, but he wants her. He told her that. He wishes she would just come back already. “Yeah, it keeps you going for a while, but. . . at some point, if what you’re hoping for is never gonna happen. . . then it’s just holding you back from your life.”

But Buck doesn’t have a life. That’s his problem. Abby was his life, but if she’s not coming back what’s he gonna do now? Eddie and Chris are the only one’s since Abby to make his heart flip, but if he’s getting back in touch with his wife. . . he can’t get in the way of that. So, he doesn’t want to lose hope, but he doesn’t want to be alone forever waiting for Abby to return.

“Yeah, but it’s hard to know, though, right? If you’re hanging on too long or. . . if you’re giving up too soon.”

“I think you do know. It just may take you some time to admit it to yourself.”

///////

“Everyone in my life. . . my sister, the team. . . they’re on my side. Now, what I really need right now is to talk to someone on Abby’s side.”

Carla shakes her head quickly. “Okay, Buck, you know I don’t do sides.”

“But y—”

“I love both of you.”

“Yeah, but you know her.” Carla seats herself on the couch as Buck stands in front of her. “Alright, honestly, maybe even better than I do right now. I, uh, haven’t spoken to her in weeks. The gap between talks keeps getting longer, and the conversations shorter. There’s this. . . this voice in my head keeps on saying. . . Move on, Buck. She’s never gonna come back.”

“She still cares about you. She’s just not ready to come home yet. At least not to this one.”

This one? Buck thought this was the only one. “Wait, what does that mean?”

“Her brother’s been after her, y’know, to come stay with them for a bit. And truthfully, I think it’ll be good for her. I mean, she needs to go and dip her toe in the real world. So, y’know, she doesn’t have a fear of being pulled under by all of these memories.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” He looks up at all the furniture. Furniture that’s not his. Memories that aren’t his. “Everything in this place is hers. She feels less and less a part of it every day. See, this- this whole time, I- I felt like I was being haunted by this memory of her, but. . . but maybe I’m the ghost. Lingering here when. . . when I should’ve moved on a long time ago.”

And he’s ready to admit it. It’s time to move on.

And it’s not just Abby he needs to let go of.

He needs to let go of Aimée.

He needs to let go of Selina.

He needs to let go of Sam.

He’s being haunted by their memories, holding on to them selfishly because he didn’t want to move on. It’s time to let go.

He needs to find himself, truly.

*****

_We are all haunted. By the ones we’ve loved and the ones we’ve lost. By the choices we’ve made and the ones we still struggle with. Our lives are like a series of ghost stories. Sometimes all we can do is turn the page. Let go. That’s what I need to do now. I’m not sure if you’ll ever come back or how I’ll feel if you do, but I am sure that I cannot wait anymore. You are my ghost story, Abby. You are the amazing spirit that blew into my life, turned it upside down, and then vanished into the night. Being with you made me a better man, and for that I will always love you. Now it’s time for me to figure out who I am without you._

Buck slides the letter into his jacket pocket with a sigh. He takes one last look around the apartment he was growing to love. And with a heavy heart, he switches the lights off and closes the door behind him for the last time.

It’s his goodbye.

To Abby.

To Aimée.

To Selina.

To Sam.

He’s going to make some real changes. And it’s going to start now.

///////

_“If you’re just joining us, the morning commute has gotten a little more dramatic over on the 5.”_

_“Let’s check in with Channel 8’s Taylor Kelly who is on the ground. Taylor?”_

_“Ann. Dwight. Traffic at this exit came to a screeching halt about ten minutes ago. But CHP is telling me backup is already a mile long. Why the sudden stop? This woman. We don’t know her name, but we do know she is desperately trying to get the attention of somebody named Norman. First responders are just arriving to the scene and hopefully executing a plan to get this woman back down to Earth and traffic back on the move. Reporting live, this is Taylor Kelly, Channel 8 Morning News.”_

///////

“Hell no!” the woman paces back and forth on the freeway sign in frustration. “I won’t come down until Norman sees me! And don’t you try to force me down!”

“It is too early for this.” Eddie shakes his head in exasperation as he hooks Buck into his harness. “I’m not awake enough for this.”

“Wanna get coffee after this? I know a great place to stop.”

“God, yes. I really need some caffeine.”

“Nobody’s gonna force you to do anything! We’re just gonna talk! What’s your name?”

“Lola!”

“Lola, my name’s Athena! What’s the problem?”

“The problem!? The problem is, after thirty years of marriage, I can’t get thirty seconds of attention from my husband! It’s like I’m invisible! But I- I- I’m not invisible! I am here, damn it! See me, Norman!”

“Oh, Jesus,” Buck groans, cringing as Lola lets the tie of her robe loose, pulling back the flaps for the whole world to see her.

“What?” Eddie looks up from his phone, pocketing the device and leaning over to also look at the woman flashing all of Los Angeles. “Dios mío.”

“See me, now!?”

The onlookers below, having climbed out their cars to film the event, give out cheers and cat calls. Ridiculous. So damn ridiculous.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Yeah. It’s my wife. She’s lost her mind. She’s—she’s on a freeway sign.”_

_“Norman!? Is that you?”_

_“Yes, this is Norman. This is Norman!”_

_“Norman, where are you?”_

_“Stuck in the backup. One exit south.”_

_“I’m sending someone to you.”_

///////

“Lola, good news! We found your man! He’s on his way!”

“I won’t come down until he sees me!”

“Ma’am, you’re the most famous face in the city right now! There ain’t exactly a way to miss you!”

“I don’t care!”

_“Okay, move Buck into position.”_

He glances at Eddie with a cringe. At least she’s closed her robe back up. Eddie shakes his head with a small smile as he helps Buck over the sign so he can drop down next to Lola. Below them, Chim, Hen, and a few others pull out the bag from underneath the bridge, on the off-chance things go south.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Lola shouts as Buck slowly lowers himself onto the platform. “What are you doing? I- I told you! I told you!”

“It’s just there for your safety, Lola!”

“I- I told you!”

Buck’s already on the platform when he hears the first shot. He hears the cries of terror, feels his heart rate pick up. He doesn’t duck until the second shot. The third shot has him looking up in distress at Eddie, who glares wide eyed, mouth drawn in a thin line.

Lola whirls around to face Buck, gun in hand and pointed right at him. He’s fully alert, wide eyes looking from the barrel to Lola’s maniac expression. He desperately wants to look up at Eddie—at anyone—and silently convey to them to get him out of this. But he’s stuck in fear, wondering is this how he’s gonna go? Shot by a woman scorned? Didn’t they say her husband was on the way?

Where the ever-loving hell is Norman?

“Hey!” Yeah, he’s got nothing else to say. There’s so many things Buck does want to say, but he deems it not quite smart to. . . well, get smart with the woman aiming a gun at him. “Hey, hey, hey.”

“Lola, listen to me very carefully!” _Yes, please listen to Athena._ When this is all said and done, he might just kiss the officer. Lola turns at the sound of her voice, though still keeps the gun trained on Buck. He doesn’t dare move. “You now have every firearm in the Greater Los Angeles area pointed at you. If you continue to threaten that man, they will fire. Do you understand?” Lola turns her wide eyes back onto Buck, full of fear. “Do you?”

She turns back to Athena, hand shaking. And then, _halle-fucking-lujah_ , Lola lowers the gun, shaking her head with tears streaming. “I don’t wanna hurt anybody. I just can’t handle being ignored anymore.”

She slumps, and he finally glances back up at Eddie. The man is tense, wide eyed glare looking from Lola to Buck, finally noticing the blonde looking up at him. He shakes his head, trying to shoot down whatever crazy stunt he thinks Buck is about to pull. Please, he’s not suicidal. He still has his arms up as he looks back at Lola. She may have lowered the weapon, but she’s still armed. . . and that means anything could set her off again.

“I know exactly what you mean.”

“Oh, come on.” Lola shakes her head unbelievingly, rolling her eyes at Buck’s statement. He flinches at the way she gestures to him with the hand she has wrapped around her gun. “Yes, I- I’m sure you get ignored all the time.”

“You have a Norman. I had an Abby.” Had. Past tense. Because he can’t have something that isn’t here. “You think that you have something. . . something special, y’know? She’s the _one_. So, you wait. And then, at some point, it hits you. You’re alone. Sh- She’s not coming back. You’re just there to collect the mail, an- and it is piling up, right? And then—and then you realize. . . you know what? It’s over. You just need to face it and move on.”

Buck’s so caught up in his rant that he forgets for a moment that he’s standing on a freeway sign with half the LAPD having their guns trained on them. At that point, he was just a hurt lover confessing what he refused to believe for months to a woman who felt the same pain. Hell, he almost moved to hug her in comfort as she nods with a sad sigh.

But then a voice above is clearing their throat at Buck’s movement, and Eddie’s got a cocked eyebrow when Buck looks up, wide glare telling him to stay put. Yeah, don’t go hugging the armed woman. And luckily, he doesn’t have to do anything else.

“Uh, L- Lola.” Norman has arrived. Took him long enough. “Lola, honey, it’s me. I’m here. And I see you, just like the sign says.”

“Liar!” Buck jumps a little. Lola’s tone has an edge to it that wasn’t there a few seconds ago. She’s getting worked up again. _This Norman guy better work this out because I really don’t wanna end up in the crosshairs of bullets._ “You look right through me! Y- you don’t even notice me! I- I’m just around to. . . collect the mail!”

There’s a beat of silence. Buck understands that. He honestly doesn’t really know who collects the mail, but judging by Norman’s confusion, it certainly isn’t Lola. “Lola, honey. Honey, now, listen to me. I- I’m here, and I see you. And I need you to put down the gun, okay?”

_Yes, please! Quit waving it around like a goddamn baton._

“Put the. . . put down the gun and let them bring you to me. And then we can spend the rest of our lives together, and I can show you how much I love you.”

“I don’t believe you, Norman!” He wants to groan. He wants to bang his head against the exit sign in frustration. He wants away from Lola at this point. “You don’t even know who I am anymore. I mean. . . I don’t even know. I’ve been a mother for eighteen years. And now that Zack’s gone, I don’t remember who I was before that. Back when you used to look at me.” She nods sadly, quietly speaking for only Buck to hear. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is over.”

She moves forward and Buck’s eyes grow wider than before as he reaches out, pulling her back away from the edge. “Uh, n- no, no, no, no, no.” _Do something, Norman!_ “Uh, okay, m- maybe I wasn’t being super clear on the point I was trying to make. . .” Which was most definitely _NOT_ throw yourself off a bridge. Those were not his words. He’s ready to explain further when music begins to play loudly, and the two look back to Norman.

“Oh, my god.” _You got that right. If he was gonna do this, he could’ve at least gotten a boombox stereo on the way over. Not important._ “That song. He remembered. It was our first date. We went to see S- Say Anything.”

“I see you!” Norman shouts over the music, a smile on his face. “I see you! Lola, I see you! I see the girl who used to sneak out to the beach bonfires and listen to The Psychedelic Furs and the Cure! Lola! Lola, I see you! I see the girl who once drank nine shots of Jager and woke up without a hangover!” _Damn. Respect._ “Lola, I see you! I see the girl I love!”

The crowd around cheers as Lola smiles brightly. She stumbles a bit, and he catches her quickly, keeping her from falling.

“I think I want to get down now.” She doesn’t resist as Buck slides the gun out of her hands with a very strong sense of relief, passing it up to Eddie.

~~

“What’d you say to her?”

Buck looks at Bobby with a smile. “Oh, y’know, that everything’s gonna be okay.”

He strides up to Eddie once he’s finished checking out Lola. Eddie peels off his gloves with a shake of his head, eyes roaming Buck from head to toe as if checking for any injuries. “I need a drink after that.”

Buck scoffs, both eyebrows raised. “ _You_ need a drink? How do you think I feel?” He laughs, moving around the engine with Eddie to put away the equipment. “Since neither of us need coffee, and drinking while on the job is a big no-no, how about we stop for pizza instead?”

“You don’t gotta ask me twice.”

///////

 _“Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.”_ Buck frowns as the robotic woman repeats TK’s phone number to him. TK always answers his phone. _“. . . is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you’ve finished recording you may hang up or press one for more options.”_

“Hey, Ty. Haven’t heard from you in a minute. Y’know, usually you call when something crazy has happened in the LA area and I now you were bound to have seen the Lola and Norman incident on the news. I haven’t heard from you since the date you were going on. . . Is everything okay? Call me back when you can.”

Buck hangs up, shaking his head. _I’m overthinking it. Nothing’s wrong._ He dials again, a different number this time. He waits as the phone rings, and then. . . _“Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.”_ Now it’s really worrying. Neither Owen nor TK answering their phone? _“. . . is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you’ve finished recording you may hang up or press one for more options.”_

“Uh, Dad. Hey. I’m not trying to panic but I haven’t heard from TK in a while and neither of you are answering your phone. Just. . . give me a call back when you get this. I just need to know everything’s okay.”

Something’s not right.

///////

“No, I haven’t heard from either of them.” Maddie moves around Chim as the two move fluidly through his kitchen. “But last I talked to mom, TK was planning to propose and Owen was still on duty.”

“That’s what I’m saying, Maddie. They haven’t called since.”

“I’m sure you’re overthinking this, Buck. They’re probably on a very rough twenty-four shift. If something happened, we would know.” Maddie rushes to the door, opening it and thanking the delivery man as she carries the food back into the apartment. Maybe she’s right, maybe he’s overthinking it. They have forty-eight hours to call him back before he starts calling friends and coworkers. “Damn it! They didn’t put it in here again.”

“Oh, uh. . .” Buck watches with a raised eyebrow as Chimney sets a bowl on the counter, causing Maddie’s face to light up with joy. “Ta-da!”

“You made me hot mustard.”

 _Hold on._ And Buck’s thoroughly distracted by Chim and Maddie’s interactions, watching as the two embrace in a short hug before grabbing the food and beginning to head to the living room.

“I just can’t anymore, with the whole sad face every time they forget it, so. . .”

“Anyway.” That was awkward to watch. So, so awkward to watch. “Why so much food?”

Maddie rolls her eyes with a shake of her head as Buck follows the two into the living room. “Uh, it’s Buff-Friday.”

She says it as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Buffet Fridays,” Chimney follows up for clarity. “It’s the one day we indulge your sister’s complete inability to choose what she’s in the mood for.”

“Yeah, so we order everything.”

“And, because of your sister’s hatred for leftovers, I don’t have to buy groceries. It’s a win-win situation.”

Buck sits down with a frown across from Chimney, eyebrows furrowed as he looks between both a smiling Chim and Maddie. “Dating.”

Maddie and Chim freeze, furrowing their eyebrows in confusion as well. “Huh?”

“You guys are. . . dating each other.” How funny. Buck’s the only single one on the team, yet again. Bobby has Athena. Chim has Maddie—gag! Hen has Karen. Even Eddie is working things out with Shannon. Buck has nothing. Not even his own space, which is why he has to sit here, rooming with Chim, and watch Chim and Maddie sickeningly laugh off the accusation as if it isn’t true.

“That’s crazy. We’re. . .”

“Friends who hang out.”

“Yeah. Just hanging out.”

“No. Y- you’re always talking or texting each other. You sing karaoke together. You do Buff-Friday’s, you finish each other’s sentences.” It’s gross, but if Buck has to be honest, he’s glad Maddie’s found something with Chim. It is a tremendous improvement from the last guy. Definitely a tremendous improvement. They’ve both gone quiet, taking in Buck’s observations thoughtfully. “Guys, come on. You’re a couple. W- when did. . .”

Buck drops the sentence immediately the moment his phone begins to buzz, but it’s neither TK nor Owen. Or anyone for that matter. _Unknown_ flashes on the screen, and his curiosity gets the better of him as he picks up his phone, moving away from the table.

“Yeah, this is Buck.”

_“Hey. . . It’s nice to hear your voice again.”_

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“I need an ambulance at 2237 Westbrook Avenue! It’s my husband, please it’s—dear God, send somebody!”_

///////

Maybe he’s gay. Maybe he’s straight. Buck doesn’t really know what to call himself, but he knows he feels pain sitting beside Thomas as Bobby and Eddie slowly lower his husband to the ground on the backboard. And he’s hurting deep down, heart aching for both Thomas and Mitchell.

“When we got married. . . we thought, what the hell, we have so little life left, we might as well live. That was Mitchell, always. . . daring the clock.” Buck doesn’t want to watch as Bobby and Eddie bring out the white sheet, beginning to cover Mitchell’s body. “And me, I always followed along. All those foolish things we did. We only ever wanted to. . . to go together. That’s love.”

_That’s love._

Buck wants that love. He’d thought he’d get it with Sam. He never got the chance. He was ecstatic with Selina and the birth of Aimée. It was short lived. He didn’t really know what he wanted with Abby, too busy focused on not using her as a way to remind him of his past loves.

He knows what it’s like to love someone so much and watch them leave.

“I’m sorry. I really am.” He’s subconsciously watching Eddie move. He’s thinking about that night, when Eddie had brought Buck over to his house for the first time to spend the night with him and Chris. And he remembered how good it felt to have that dynamic. To have a family of his own. If only it was. . . “I guess I can only hope to find something that good.”

The man is looking at him with a small smirk, eyes moving from Buck to Eddie and back to Buck. “You don’t find it, son. You make it.” Buck wants to pretend he doesn’t understand the pointed look he gives him before turning to look at the white sheet covering his late husband. “Son, you mind if I have just a few moments alone with him?”

“Of course. It’s no problem. Here.” He helps the man onto his feet, guiding him over to Mitchell and helping him kneel beside him before turning to busy himself with the discarded scrapbook, giving him his moment alone. When he looks back, Thomas is laid over Mitchell, and it breaks Buck’s heart with every step as he moves to inform Thomas that he’s got to let Mitchell go. “Thomas?”

Thomas’ eyes are closed, mouth open but no breath coming out. Buck’s heart spikes immediately, moving the man onto his back and calling out for Bobby and Eddie who rush over immediately. “I- I don’t know what happened. He was just talking, he was responsive, and then. . .”

“Alright, start compressions.” Bobby doesn’t have to tell Buck twice. He was already starting them when Bobby spoke up, leaning back for Eddie to get air into Thomas’ lungs. When the older man doesn’t respond, Buck moves right back to compressions, anxiously.

“Buck. . .” Bobby’s hands are over his, and it’s his way of saying it without saying the words. Thomas is gone. And Buck leans back with a swallow. He wants to cry, but then his eyes catch the conjoined hands of Thomas and Mitchell.

_We only ever wanted to go together._

He doesn’t need to be sad. Thomas was never gonna stay here without his husband. It brings an almost imperceptible smile to Buck’s face. “That’s love.”

///////

Buck wants love, but he can’t just expect it to show up at his door. He’s got to make it for himself. A deep part of him wants Eddie, but there’s always that saying. . . if you love someone, you let them go. Eddie and Chris, it’s something he wants so bad, but they’re not his family to take. And he may not know Shannon, but he knows she’s one lucky woman to have those two in her life. He can’t take that love away from her.

He’s going to find his own love, no matter how long it takes. And it’ll start with him striding in through the café door, eyes searching the people for a head of blonde hair.

“You made it!” Ali moves to Buck with a large smile on her face at the sight of him. As for Buck, he’s reeling back in surprise. Her hair is not blonde, not like the last time he saw. Her entire bob is dark brown now.

“Uh. . . wh. . . you changed your hair?”

“Yeah. Well, after the earthquake and almost dying twice. . . it makes you re-evaluate a few things. So, back to my roots.”

“That looks great.”

“Thanks. I- I wasn’t sure if you were gonna show. You seemed a little hesitant on the phone.”

“Yeah. Um. . . Buck 1.0. . . wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Buck 2.0 has to ask: you. . . you didn’t call me ‘cause you felt some kind of weird debt, right? Me saving your life and all.”

“Oh, is that the way you remember it? ‘Cause I- I seem to remember Eddie catching me as I was falling out the window.”

“Ha, um, I told him to do that.”

“Wow, maybe I should’ve called him.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Come on. I, um, I already got us a table.”

It starts here. He’s not jumping straight into a relationship. He’s not comparing her to his past loves, using her as a way to satisfy his desire for someone else. It’s about Ali. Because Buck wants to find love. And he can grow to love Ali as more than a friend, and love Eddie as just a friend.

Buck wants love, so he’s going to make it for himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been too long, I know. Guys, I'm so sorry for such a long pause but things have been hectic. If you're wondering what I've been up to, for starters I'm officially a senior (yay!). So, I've been focused on a few things, college being one of those. I would've waited, but I got a letter from Harvard (biggest surprise of my life), not an acceptance but a you got what it takes to make it letter. So now, I've been applying for Harvard, setting up test dates. Then on top of that I've been working on getting my license because they changed it back to where I have to take the test so, I've been out working on my driving. And then, I've been working out for my Raider team. If you don't know what that is, we do things such as 5k's, rope bridge, CCR, tire flip, things like that. So I've been working to get in shape. As of recently, we had to call the doctor. They believe I have some sort of infection in my fingers that's causing discoloration and thickness in the nail (don't worry guys, for the most part I'm fine. Nothing too drastic.) And I've been trying to get back to work, so it's just been hectic and I've been writing with the free time I have.
> 
> Only warning I have for this chapter is mention of drug overdose. Other than that, I tried to keep the tone light because it's Christmas (not really but you know what I mean).
> 
> Anyway, on with the chapter!

In hindsight, Buck really should have been more considerate before he decided to throw his belongings across Chim’s apartment. Still, it surprised him when the paramedic kicked him out of the apartment. It surprised him more when Maddie opened the door to her apartment expectantly waiting with a new air mattress for him.

“You saw this coming?”

“You didn’t?”

Ouch.

///////

_“What are you gonna ask Santa for?”_

_“Nothing. He’s not real.” TK proceeds to ram his elbow into Buck. Very, very hard. “Ow! Ty! MMMMMMMMMM!”_

_“Yeah, that’s right. Bite your tongue. Wouldn’t want Santa to hear what colorful words you use.”_

_“Revenge.” Buck breathes out heavily, doubling over as he clutches his side. “I am so getting revenge on you!”_

_“Uh-huh. And how do you suppose you’re gonna do that?” Buck doesn’t answer, stumbling a bit. It’s enough to worry TK. He drops his façade as Buck leans, falling towards the Christmas tree. “Buck? Buck!”_

_TK reaches out, latching onto Buck’s outstretched arm. He gasps in surprise as his brother smiles devilishly, using the momentum to spin them around before letting go of TK and watching as he crashes into the tree. As for the tree, it seems to be on Buck’s side as instead of falling back, it tips forward and crashes right on top of the boy._

_“Maddie!”_

_“Buck!” Their sister rushes back in, looking at the fallen tree, TK squirming under the tree, and Buck smiling triumphantly over the tree. “What is happening?”_

_She rushes over, moving the tree into an upright position before helping TK to his feet and dusting him off. TK glares heatedly at his brother, getting a bright smile in return._

_“Revenge!”_

///////

Buck doesn’t want to make any wishes this year. He knows the one wish he’d make won’t come true at all. Prime example, Christmas in the station. He finds it wonderful to be surrounded by so many adorable children. It’s even more wonderful that Chim and Eddie—mainly Eddie, all offense to Chim for kicking him out—are assigned to his station along with him. His one wish would be to have a family, one family in particular.

And he’s been glancing at Eddie constantly because that’s what someone does when they really like a person. So, of course, he notices the smile fall from Eddie’s face when he looks up from the toy truck being handed to him to the brunette woman who handed the toy to him.

“Shannon.” Ah. The infamous “gringa ex” that Pepa had spoken of. Eddie’s wife. Christopher’s mother. Shannon. Buck does his best to focus on the children to keep his frown at bay. “What are you doing here?”

“You won’t answer my texts or return my calls.”

“This is not the place.”

“Maybe it’s the perfect place. So we can actually have a conversation that doesn’t end up with us in bed.” And Buck did say he would do his best. But in circumstances such as this one, his best is not enough. He does more than frown, he snaps his head to the two in surprise. Big mistake. The moment it slips from Shannon’s mouth, Eddie glances at Chim and Buck, more specifically Buck. Buck immediately looks away before Eddie leads Shannon to the locker room to talk.

As for Buck, he knew it would come to this. Eddie is straight. Eddie has a wife, Shannon. Eddie and Shannon have a kid, Christopher. Eddie, Shannon, and Christopher are a family, no matter how much Buck would love to take Shannon’s place. He knew this would happen, which is why he accepted coffee with Ali. He needed to let go of these feelings before he got too invested.

Well, too little, too late.

And it hurts more to actually know the truth rather than just guessing the truth.

///////

“I offered to wait in line with him, but he said this is, uh, private.” Because Shannon dropping a bomb shell wasn’t bad enough, Buck’s torturing himself by tagging along with Eddie and Chris to see Santa when he should be working on looking at Eddie as nothing but a friend. Nope, instead he watches with a smile as Eddie holds up his phone, camera aimed at his son. “Christopher!”

Chris looks over from his spot in line, Buck smiling wider at the sight of Chris’ pearly whites. “I really admire that kid. I love the way he always wants to do everything on his own.”

“Yeah.” Eddie pockets his phone, shifting on the fountain the two are sitting on. “So. . . not gonna say anything?”

 _Absolutely not. Rather just forget it ever happened._ “About what?”

“You know what about.” _Please don’t do this to me._

“I figured it was none of my business.”

“It’s not.” _Exactly. Glad we’re on the same page._

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“It just kinda happened, okay?” _Edmundo, please stop._ “It’s not like I planned it.” _For the love of God._

“I never said you did.”

“I only even reached out to her because I needed her help getting Christopher into his new school.” _What did I do to deserve such torture?_

“Totally understandable.”

“We just kind of. . .” _SHUT. UP. PLEASE._ “. . . ended up in bed.” _And I’m kinda. . . tempted to drown myself in this fountain._

“These things happen. It’s not like you’re breaking any commandments. You guys are still married.” _Punch to the gut. That one hurt. Can this conversation be over already?_

“Yeah.” Eddie’s gaze moves away from Buck, fortunately, and back to Christopher with a small shake of his head. “I’m sneaking around behind my kid’s back with his mother.”

“Christopher doesn’t know?” And here he thought Eddie was trying to put his family back together.

“I don’t know what he knows. These kids sense things, right?” He turns yet again, locking his gaze with Buck’s. “The other day, I made her sneak out so he wouldn’t see her there.”

“Trying to protect your kid. I mean, she ran out on him, right?” Honestly, Buck would feel the same, based on his own experience. It took him a while a come to terms with seeing his mother again after she left. Eddie isn’t a bad guy for trying to keep Chris from hurting or the confusion.

“I ran out first. I ran out on both of them.” Yeah. . . Buck didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t even know this tidbit of information. And now he doesn’t know how to feel. He’s always had this dislike for people just abandoning their kids, but. . . it’s Eddie. He’s seen the care and love he has for Chris. There’s has to be more to it than that. “See, when Christopher was first diagnosed I was in Afghanistan. Right at the end of my tour. Instead of going back home. . . I reenlisted. I told myself it was to pay the bills.”

Fear. That’s what it was. Eddie was scared, of what, Buck can’t certainly say. But he knows what Eddie is saying. “But you were running away, too.”

“Yeah. But I got to pretend like it was for a noble cause. Serving my country.” And now, Buck doesn’t know how to feel. He can’t judge Shannon and not judge Eddie for doing the exact same thing. It’s not about Shannon and Eddie, though. It’s about Christopher. And those two may have made the same mistake, but like Buck’s mom, those two came back for their son. People learn from their mistakes. So, maybe Eddie is being a bit harsh. . . Shannon deserves to see her son. “But when Shannon broke, nobody thought she was a hero. She just got called evil.”

“And now she wants back in his life.”

“Yeah.”

“So, why don’t you let her?” Sure, Buck was hurt at seeing his mom again, but he’s so happy to have her back in his life. It’ll only hurt Chris more if Eddie continues to keep her away from him. “Seems like she’s already back in yours.”

“That’s. . . that’s what’s got me confused. Would I be doing it for Christopher or for me?” Buck wishes he could answer that question for Eddie, no matter how selfish that answer may be. But he can’t decide that for him. It’s Eddie’s family, and the most he can do is be there to help him through it. “Sex complicates everything.”

 _Ain’t that the truth._ “You said it, brother.” He smiles brightly as the cute little boy that makes his heart melt walks over with the help of one of the lady elves. He taps Eddie on the shoulder, gesturing to the angel. “Uh, hey.”

Buck and Eddie stand simultaneously with Eddie moving to kneel by Chris. “How’d it go, pal?”

“It went great.”

“So, what’d you ask for?”

“Can’t tell. Santa said he’d work on it.”

And Buck really can’t help but smile adoringly as Eddie shakes his head with a chuckle, lifting the boy up in his arms and walking off towards Eddie’s truck. He’s chuckling at Christopher’s secret wink in his direction when the lady elf moves closer, smiling sweetly at Buck.

“You two have an adorable son.”

 _You two._ Him and Eddie. And Christopher. And he’s ready to correct her, but he wants to just soak in that moment. At that moment he’s not Eddie’s friend, tagging along on Chris’ visit to Santa. No. He’s with Eddie, happily watching their son enjoy his visit to Santa. And he knows it isn’t reality, but he’s happy for just that one moment where he can feel as though he has a family of his own again.

And so, he smiles back just as sweetly.

“Um. . . thank you.”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“A truck just ran a red light and smashed into the side of a bus!”_

_“Where is this, sir?”_

_“Wilshire near Macarthur Park.”_

///////

Buck knew. He knew from the moment he saw the man in uniform hovered over the bleeding man on the ground that he was on the way to surprise someone special. That’s why he couldn’t help but break into a big grin when Eddie had guided the man back over to the engine while Chim and Hen wheeled the injured man into the ambulance to transport him to the nearest hospital.

The excitement kept building up as they all climbed into the engine, watching as the man stripped out of his bloodied uniform and into his clean acu, Buck and Eddie both sporting matching grins.

“Better hurry up and get dressed. . .” Buck can see in Eddie’s smile that he knows the feeling. It’s the best thing in the world, watching loved ones be reunited. “We’re gonna be there before you know it.”

“I’m gonna cry.” Eddie smiles in amusement at Buck’s exclamation. It’s the truth. Buck always gets teary-eyed, watching the hugging and the smiles and the kisses and the tears of joy. It’s all heartwarming. “I- I know I’m gonna cry. Those soldier reunion videos on YouTube always get me.”

Hell, Buck knows he’s not the only one excited to witness the moment. The second the engine rolls to a stop, they all hop out the building and run up the stairs. Even Bobby. The same man who wouldn’t race him up the stairs and would rather take the elevator was running _ahead_ of Buck, following the man inside the building where the show has already started, and a beautiful young girl resembling him sings like an angel.

When exactly do the water works start? The moment the little girl misses her cue for the next line of the song, instead choosing to gasp audibly as her eyes land on the group of firefighters standing with broad smiles behind her father.

The tears are rolling hot and heavy as someone in the front row stands slowly, a hand coming up to her mouth before both she and the little girl rush forward. The man moves forward, a spotlight shining on him as he picks up speed before meeting them at the end of the aisle to engulf them in a hug.

And the cherry on top that makes him almost want to sob is when the chorus starts back up again and he finally catches on to the song they’re singing.

I’ll Be Home for Christmas. It’s got him crying like a baby.

And he wipes at his tears with a sniffle.

“Yep. Every time.”

///////

He’s still wiping at his eyes by the time the engine backs into the station, to the amusement of Bobby and Eddie. Hen and Chim are already there, waiting with suspicious smiles on their faces.

“You guys missed it,” Buck exclaims as he follows Eddie out of the engine, smiling happily. “We just got to witness a soldier reunion in person.”

Hen nods with a smirk. “I’m sure it was special.”

“Okay, Buck, I can’t be the only one seeing something odd about this scenario.” Buck raises an eyebrow at Eddie as he gestures between the two paramedics. “Come on, they’re hiding something.”

“And whatever would that be, Diaz?” Chim also smirks along with Hen, and now Buck’s furrowing his eyebrows too, catching on to the suspicious actions.

“How would I know, Han? You’re hiding it.”

“Because they are going to enjoy a good moment of surprise.”

Buck’s thoroughly confused now as Maddie rounds the ambulance, moving to stand next to Chim. Buck looks to Bobby and Eddie, but no, they’re as confused as he is. _What is happening?_

“Uh, Mads, what are you doing here?”

She smiles warmly. “I’m here to watch you get your Christmas gift.”

“What Christmas gift?”

“My Christmas gift.” Buck spins so fast that Eddie has to keep him from falling over as black dots swim in his vision. When it clears, though, TK is standing in front of him, giving him the slyest of smiles. Buck blinks once. . twice. . . and proceeds to drive his fist into his arm.

“Ow! Abuse! And I came here bearing gifts!”

“That’s for not answering my calls.” Buck shakes his head, pulling TK in tightly, the younger boy returning the hug. “Thank you for my gift.”

“I haven’t even given you the gift yet.”

“Then what is the gift?”

“Turn around, Buck.” Buck freezes. The statement hadn’t come from TK’s mouth. This time, he turns slowly, and the first thing he notices is that Bobby and Eddie have been moved to stand by Maddie, Chim, and Hen. Maddie, Chim, and Hen all sport those sly smiles while Bobby looks surprised and Eddie just glances from person to person with his smile of confusion. But that’s not what Buck’s focused on. He’s focused on the man smiling warmly at him, arms outstretched for a hug.

And he doesn’t hear any other words said—if there were any other words said—because he’s flying forward and throwing his arms around him to bring him close. Years of longing is poured into the hug. He may not be Buck’s father, but he raised Buck since he was a baby. Owen is Buck’s dad, through and through. And he may have kept in contact, but it felt great after almost eleven years to be able to throw his arms around the man and hold him close once again.

And he can feel when TK and Maddie join in on the hug. He can feel the warm smiles of Bobby, Chim, Hen, Eddie, and more gathering firefighters to witness the reunion. He can still hear the ghost of the children’s choir, singing I’ll Be Home for Christmas. And the tears are rolling yet again, salty against his tongue and he laughs happily.

He’s experiencing his own little soldier reunion.

And it gets him.

Every. Damn. Time.

///////

“Eddie’s sleeping with her, but he’s lying about it. It’s like he’s having an affair with his own wife. You don’t think that’s weird?” Buck shakes his head with a sigh. He’s been itching to talk about it with his brother, but TK’s giving him a pointed look, glancing at Chim and Buck understands. Does he really want to have _that_ conversation in front of Chim? Hell no.

Chim is so focused on finding the right Christmas tree, however, that Buck’s underlying tone flies right over his head as he turns to the two with an eye roll. “I think it’s none of our business. Now can we please focus on the trees?”

“Absolutely, Chimney. Stop being so self-absorbed, Buck.” Buck rolls his eyes at TK’s smile.

“Now, exactly how pissed off is Maddie? Should I be shopping for a six-foot apology or a twelve?”

“Why would Maddie be pissed off?” TK furrows his eyebrows in confusion, glancing from Buck to Chim. “She seemed fine earlier.”

“Chimney over here kicked me out of his apartment so now I’m staying with Mads until I find a place of my own.”

“Ha.” TK barks out, reaching to give Chim a high five. “Sucks to suck.”

Buck glances around for any young eyes before flipping TK a slightly concealed bird. “She’s fine, actually. She had an air mattress for me. If anything, I should be the one holding a grudge—which I will if you don’t hurry up and pick a tree already.”

“Oh, Buck, that doesn’t sound like the Christmas spirit.”

“Shut up, Ty.” He furrows his eyebrows as he looks back to Chim, observing as he glances around at the trees then down at his phone and back up at the trees. “Wait. Are you seriously googling Christmas trees?”

“I want to buy Maddie a gift and I want it to be perfect.”

“I’m gonna go find someone to help us. You stop overthinking and just pick one.” Buck moves quickly through the trees, TK in tow. “So, wanna tell me what’s really going on?”

“What do you mean?”

Buck sighs, moving to stand in front of his younger brother with concern. “Neither you nor Owen were answering your phones. I was worried, and you’d have to be crazy to think that I believe you’re only here for a surprise visit.”

TK sighs, nodding his head to move out the walkway where they can talk more privately. “I ODed. . .” TK looks up through his eyelashes, gauging Buck’s response to the confession. Buck flares his nostrils first because, yeah, he’s mad. Ty had done it again, but he’s also mad that no one called him. The silence was killing him and he had no idea whether or not Tyler or Owen were alright.

But then he’s sighing because TK and Owen are here with him. They’re both alright, and that’s the most important part.

“What happened?”

“He didn’t love me. . .” TK shakes his head, looking off as he fights back his own tears. “You know, he’s had my back all these years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve pushed through them. He was my biggest supporter going through rehab. I could trust him with any and everything. And he threw it all away. . . for some damn homewrecker.”

No matter how hard TK tries, the tears still fall free, and Buck pulls him close, letting the younger man stain his shirt with his tears. “It hurt that someone I trusted so much could just stab me in the back like that. And I was so hurt. . . that all I wanted to do was forget and make the pain go away.” TK pulls back, earnest eyes staring right into Buck’s. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I would never do that to you or Dad ever again, but I just. . . I needed to forget the pain.”

He wipes away his tears before Buck pulls him in once again. Maybe Buck’s being a little overbearing, but he almost lost his brother without knowing. Sue him if he wants to hold on to his brother for dear life.

“Dad had found me the next morning when I failed to show up for my shift. He was disappointed and surprised because I was doing so well. He knew I needed a break, so we packed our bags and flew out to Los Angeles. Sorry for not answering any calls, we’ve been busy non-stop from the moment he suggested the trip to the moment we were at the airport. Besides, we wanted to surprise you.” Buck can feel TK smile sheepishly into his shoulder. “Dad just got a new request to start up a firehouse down in Austin after a horrible explosion killed the entire team save for one. So, we’re both moving to Texas for a fresh start. Though, he’s taking his vacation first.”

Buck pulls back with a bright smile. “Well, look on the bright side, you have the time of your vacation to spend with Maddie, me, and Dad. As well as your—” Buck rolls his eyes with a scoff. “—best friends.”

TK chuckles at Buck’s pettiness, the tension in his body washing away instantly at seeing Buck not angry with him. His eyes twinkle with mischief. “Yeah. But heads up, I’m not on vacation.” And before Buck can question TK on what he means, the younger boy is bouncing on his feet, dragging Buck along with him. “Come on, Chim’s probably waiting for us and the help we promised. Besides, there are problematic things we need to discuss. Two words: Eddie. Diaz.”

///////

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Buck calls excitedly as Owen holds open the door for Chim, TK, and Buck to come parading through with Christmas decorations. When he rounds the corner, he sees Maddie hugging TK tightly as Chim sets the Christmas tree down gently.

“Surprise!” Chim says with a bright smile as Maddie turns her attention to him with an equally bright smile.

“Oh!” Buck’s too caught up in his excitement for Christmas to notice the falter in Maddie’s smile. “Wow. A Christmas tree.

“Yeah. Buck said you didn’t have one yet.” Owen was already frowning, having been the first to notice the drastic change in Maddie’s mood from the drop in her smile. TK had been next, noticing the lack of enthusiasm in her voice as she eyes the tree warily. When Chim turns to face Maddie, his smile drops as well, noticing a sudden tension in her body language. “Uh. . . is this okay? Is this the wrong kind of surprise?”

“No, no, no.” Maddie shakes her head quickly, trying to smile reassuringly but not quite convincing Chim. “No. It’s so sweet. Really, I- I love that you did this.”

Maddie is no actress. She can’t fool Chim. She can’t fool TK. She certainly can’t fool Owen. And if Buck hadn’t stepped out to grab more decorations, even he would’ve seen her obvious discomfort, and he’s known to be the most oblivious one of their entire group of friends.

“You just didn’t want it. That’s okay.” Chim’s already regretfully picking up the tree, ready to haul it back outside. “I mean, we shouldn’t have assumed.”

“I just really wasn’t gonna do much Christmas this year cause all of my decorations and stuff are back in Pennsylvania—”

“And that is why we bought everything you need!” Buck chimes in cheerfully, catching the last part of Maddie’s sentence as he strolls through the door with more bags. He’s so caught up in the spirit that he doesn’t notice Maddie’s tenseness, or the somber faces of his dad, his brother, and his friend. He’s setting the bags down with a bright smile, completely oblivious to the thickness in the air. “We have lights. We have ornaments. We even have. . .” Buck pulls out the beautiful woman to show to Maddie happily. “An angel high for on top of the tree.”

It’s not until Maddie moves forward and snatches the angel out of his hands, tossing it back into the bag roughly, that Buck notices the tenseness of everyone else.

“No! Angels are creepy!”

 _Creepy?_ This is coming from the same woman who held Buck and TK up with a smile as they would place the angel on top of the tree. This is coming from the same woman who baked delicious snickerdoodles for them to snack on during their Christmas movie marathon. This is coming from the same woman who—very rudely, Buck might add—woke the entire family up at the ungodly hour of six A.M. every year to manage decorations of the entire house. This is coming from the same woman who would _hand-sew_ pajama sets for the family of five to wear on the day of Christmas. This is coming from the woman who adores Christmas. So, of course, Buck is frowning intensely with glances to the other three men in the room with confusion. When did this woman start hating Christmas?

“You know what?” Chim moves forward cautiously, fixing Buck with a pointed look and slightly gesturing with his head towards the door. “I think we might have overstepped. Maddie should be able to pick out her own decorations.”

Buck’s still so surprised from the action that his hands are still curled as if he were still holding the angel. His wide eyes stay for a second on Chim, then they move to Maddie’s fear-stricken face. By the time his brain has caught up to speed, there’s a bitterness washing over him, along with anger and irritation. There’s no need to dwell on the what, when, where, and why of Maddie’s newfound hatred for Christmas. It all boils down to who. Doug Kendall.

“We’ll just, we’ll just. . .” Chimney’s fumbling with the tree, and TK cringes as he moves quickly to his side, helping the man lift it back up to carry back through the door. “We’ll just bring this back to the store.”

“What are you talking about?” Buck gestures at the two’s ridiculous attempt to alleviate the situation. “You can’t return a tree.” His eyes move back to Maddie’s, a small, worried smile tugging at his lips. “Hey, come on. You always loved Christmas, right? Ornaments, stockings, cookies. You made your own bows.”

“Yeah. I’m not really feeling the holiday this year, okay?” Maddie responds bitterly, shaking her head with a frown.

“Well, no. No, it’s not okay.” It’s far from okay. His sister was always this strong, loving woman. Now she’s a scared, bitter woman. How is any of it okay? “Come on, what’s going on with you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Maddie’s voice raises in volume, her tone becoming sharper and harsher.

“Hey, they can take the tree back, Buck.” Owen tries, moving forward slightly to gesture to where Chim and TK inch ever closer to the door. “Or we can give it to someone who can’t afford a tree—We don’t need to have a tree or decorate! We can just watch movies, be together. That’s alright, right?”

When Owen turns around, because the question was directed to everyone in general, the last he sees is TK’s wide eyes before he and Chim hurriedly rush out the door with the tree. He sighs, soaks in his last two seconds of peace before Buck and Maddie begin their shouting match.

This is not the way he intended the night to go.

///////

“You okay?” Buck spares TK a glance at the question as Owen strides up to the door of the house, rapping his fist against the wood.

“I want to go apologize,” Buck sighs sadly, shoulders drooping with regret. “I wasn’t mad at her, I was mad at Doug, y’know? First, he takes my sister. Now, when I have her back, she isn’t the same. She’s devastated, scared. I hate him for it.”

“You’re not the only one who hates him.” TK scowls at the ground, though it falls when the door opens and their mom greets them with a warm smile.

“My boys!” Gwen instantly opens the door wider, ushering them inside. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“You’re surprised?” Buck shakes his head incredulously, hugging her tightly. “When did you even get here?”

“A few hours before Owen and TK. I’m only here for a few days before I have to go down to San Diego. Owen did mention that he’d be here for the holidays, and with Maddie being here as well, I just couldn’t miss the opportunity to celebrate with my family.” She furrows her eyebrows, eyes roaming the three before glancing back out the door. “Where is Maddie?”

Buck casts his eyes down with regret. His mom was here to spend time with the family, and he seems to have stuck a wrench in that plan. “She’s—”

“—right here.” He looks up in surprise at his older sister. Behind her is Chim and Ali. Where she found Ali, Buck has no clue. But leave it to Maddie to hunt a person down. Her eyes meet Buck’s, and they hold an apology that doesn’t need to spill from her lips.

“I’m sorry.” The apology rolls off his tongue the moment he remembers how to speak, and Maddie shakes her head with a small smile.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t hate Christmas. There’s one thing Doug never has and never will ruin; family tradition.” Maddie turns, reaching into one of the seven bags Chim holds in his arms, pulling out a cheerful patterned pair of pajama pants. “I happen to have enough for everyone, even your girlfriend, Evan.”

Buck blushes profoundly, especially under the scrutinizing gaze TK sends his way that screams _we’re are going to talk about that later_. He should probably speak up, say that Ali’s technically not his girlfriend as of yet, they’re just talking. Of course, Ali’s more natural, recovering quickly from Maddie’s burst of teasing.

“I brought every iconic Christmas movie I could think of.” Ali raises a stack of DVD’s in her hand with a bright smile.

“If the Polar Express isn’t in that stack, I’m sending you on your way,” TK says with a teasing glare, watching intently as Ali—without looking down—expertly picks a case from within the stack and holds it up.

TK’s eyes light up at the sight of a little boy clad in a blue robe ogling the sight of a Baldwin 2-8-4 locomotive. He smiles brightly reaching forward. “Oh, I like you already. TK, brother of Buck.”

“Ali, friend of Buck.”

“Mom, I’m stealing Ali to go make some popcorn!” TK grabs her wrist, hauling her forward so they can rush to the kitchen and discuss the other movies Ali also brought along.

“Can you check on the snickerdoodles while you’re at it?” Gwen calls after them, to which Chimney sniffs and practically drools.

“Snickerdoodles, you say?”

Owen chuckles at the action, leading him along with Gwen to the kitchen as well. “Just wait till you eat them.”

It’s just Buck and Maddie in the doorway now, awkwardly glancing to and away from each other.

“So, you just happen to have pajamas for everyone?”

“Well. . . I always expected you to have a girlfriend over one day. And as for Chim’s. . . it was supposed to be Alex’s, but he’s not here so all’s well that ends well.”

They both chuckle lightly, and Buck sighs with content. “What made you change your mind?”

“I’m here to start a new chapter without Doug. I can’t keep letting my fear of him control my life.” The look in Maddie’s eyes is defiant. Confident. Strong. “This is my new beginning. I’m sure as hell am not gonna start it off by spending Christmas alone.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh! The first intense chapters of intense chapters to come! The infamous Doug finale. I furiously typed to finish this and I might've cried a few times, but that's besides the point. I'm too excited so enough chitchat.
> 
> Warnings: kidnapping, stabbing, violence, murder, mentions of abuse. I'm rushing a bit because I have three minutes before my internet goes down and I won't be able to post this so, if I missed something, I am absolutely sorry and I will definitely add it in. Just let me know.
> 
> On with the chapter!

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “I counted backwards and now they’re all dead!” _

_ “Who’s dead, ma’am?” _

_ “All of them! Please hurry! This anesthesiologist is crushing my legs!” _

///////

“What are we thinking? Gas leak?” Chim asks as the group of six stride into the disturbingly quiet building, all of them clad in hazmat’s.

“Could be some pathogen. The world’s a crazy place these days.”

“Negative for combustibles as of now.” Bobby glances back at the team with a pointed look. “Masks stay on for the duration.”

“Now this is something that I don’t think I’ve seen before.” TK muses as he follows the group behind Bobby’s lead. Just a few days after Christmas, Buck had finally caught on to what his brother meant when he had let it slip that this wasn’t his vacation. Buck had just strolled in to the house one morning, and there was TK along with Bobby, explaining that TK was being temporarily placed with the 118 before he and Owen moved down to Texas. Chim and Hen were of course thrilled. Buck was ecstatic (and maybe a little bit annoyed at Chim’s constant pestering about Buck finally being replaced).

“See what? The place is like a ghost town.” It’s all unsettling to Buck. The emptiness of the waiting room. The quietness of the place that should be filled with the sounds of people bustling about. The ringing of the phone still yet to be answered. It’s like the team have literally walked right into a horror movie, slowly creeping towards their demise. “Where is everyone? It’s too quiet.”

“My point exact—hey! Behind me Diaz! You too, Buck!” Buck shares a look of confusion with Eddie, turning back to TK with twinning raised eyebrows.

“Uh, Ty? What are you talking about?”

“In the horror movies, the killer always attacks from behind. That being said, the two tallest members on the team shall sacrifice themselves to save the rest of us.”

“Bobby’s taller than me.” Buck guffaws at Eddie’s proclamation as the Captain rolls his eyes with a tiny smile.

“Wow. So, you’re just gonna leave me here to die?” Buck shakes his head as though he’s hurt, hand resting among his chest. “Can’t believe you’d do me like that.”

“Survival of the fittest.” Eddie responds with a smile, jumping into action as the group shuffles past a reception desk. He moves to the body lying on the floor, immediately placing his fingers gently against their neck. “Got one over here. She’s got a pulse. Pupillary response. . . normal.”

Eddie looks up from hovering over her, tucking his flashlight back into his belt. They wait for Captain’s orders, jumping at the cry coming from down the hall.

“Help! Please help!” The rest follow Cap, leaving Eddie to attend to the nurse. As Bobby opens the door to the operating room, the woman’s voice drops drastically with relief. “Please help me.”

If Buck hadn’t seen worse things, he might’ve been sick. He stops behind Bobby and Hen, eyes widening at the woman lying in the bed, the skin of her neck pulled down to reveal her insides. Chim doesn’t stutter at the sight, which Buck assumes is normal for the paramedic. TK, however, whines slightly at the sight, frowning tremendously. From the way he awkwardly stands, Buck would say that his younger brother is trying to hold in his breakfast.

“Oh, help me. They’re crushing me.”

Bobby turns, eyes TK warily before moving onto his youngest member. “Okay, Buck, give me a hand over here. Chimney, you check on her. TK go find Eddie, help him find anyone else in the building.”

TK disappears in the blink of an eye. Chim moves to the nurse in the small waiting area of the room. Buck makes way for Bobby to get past him before following behind him up to the woman in the bed.

“W- w- what’s wrong?” She furrows her eyebrows in concern at the three’s cautiousness, raising her hand up sluggishly.

“Stop, stop, stop!” Bobby says quickly, but her hand is already resting against the inside of her neck. When she draws her hand away, she frowns at the spots of blood on the tips of her fingers. “Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face.”

“What the. . ?”

“Ma’am,” Hen tries in a comforting tone. “It just looks like the staff here just wasn’t one hundred percent done before they lost consciousness.” She moves forward once Buck and Bobby pull the men off her legs, placing them gently on the floor for Chim to check on. “You’re still under the effects of the general anesthesia, which is good. Okay? We’re gonna keep you nice and numb. But I’m gonna need to put a cold compress on your face, okay?”

“Is there a stitch loose?”

“Look,” she turns to look at Bobby. “You’re probably gonna feel cold, but you’re not gonna feel any pain. We’ve got to preserve as much tissue as possible when we travel you to a hospital.”

“Tissue?” She sits up before any of them can object, and the skin on her forehead falls down, covering her line of vision and startling her. Buck just knows from watching it happen with a slight cringe, that if Ty were still in the room, he would’ve definitely lost his breakfast. “Oh, my face is off! My face is off!”

Hen holds onto the woman’s shoulder firmly as she begins to flail a bit in panic, gently guiding her to lay back down.

“Same symptoms over here, Cap.” Chimney looks up from the nurse he was checking on. “She’s sleeping like a baby, but she’s stable.”

Bobby turns back to the bed, more specifically, the wall. He leans close, getting a good look at the wires plugged in. “They run the anesthesia lines through the walls in these places, don’t they?”

“Yeah,” Chim nods, glancing around at the sleeping medical staff. “What are you thinking? A leak or a rupture?”

And Buck frowns, gesturing to the very conscious woman on the bed. “Yeah, then why isn’t she out?”

“Looks like she’s receiving oxygen from the nasal cannula. Eddie, you copy?”

_ “Yeah, Cap.” _

“What’s your status?”

_ “Strand and I found a couple more patients in back. Also stable.” _

“I’m gonna send Chim your way.” The paramedic nods as he moves to leave the room. “You guys see if you can locate the tank supply room. You turn anything off that’s got a knob or a valve in this place.”

“A pipe must have busted, yeah?”

“Probably the construction guys,” the woman mumbles drowsily. _Construction? What construction?_

Bobby frowns as well. None of them recall seeing construction going on. “You saw construction guys?”

“I heard ‘em, right before I went under.”

Hen frowns in concern, shaking her head at Bobby. “I don’t hear anything now.”

*****

“Make a hole! Critical!” Eddie calls as he and Chim roll a man impaled by a saw blade through the waiting room. TK follows behind them, stopping to where Hen and Buck stand by the woman now on the gurney. He seems to relax at the sight of the cold compress on the woman’s face and Buck smiles slightly.

“Don’t worry,” Buck says, eyes moving from his brother to the woman on the stretcher. “We’re gonna take you to the hospital and they will fix you right up.”

“You’ll still get your new beginning with your new face.”

“I’d be happy if I could just have the old one back.”

///////

“There you go.”

“Just keep that tight.”

“Nice.”

Buck smiles widely as Maddie steps back to catch her breath. “You are on fire with that sassy new haircut.”

Her eyebrow raises questioningly. “Sassy?”

“Please,” TK scoffs from where he was pummeling a punching bag, using a towel to wipe at his forehead as he moves to observe the two on the side. “Know your haircuts, Bucky. It’s badass, not sassy.”

Maddie smiles pointedly at Buck. She swipes at her hair dramatically. “Thank you, _Tyler_.”

He rolls his eyes at the two, holding up the boxing pads once more. “Yeah. Okay, let’s, uh. . .” He swings his arms out in demonstration. “Let’s work on that two-three-two combo. Okay? I want you to be ready with that devastating hook if you ever see Doug again.”

“Whoa.” Maddie shakes her head, her smile dropping at the mention of her ex. “That is not why I’m doing this.”

“Really? You, uh, you don’t want to kick your abusive ex’s ass someday? Cause I would.”

TK laughs drily from where he leans against the ropes, scowling at nothing in particular. “I’m still waiting to kick his pretty face in.”

“His face isn’t pretty, Ty.”

“It won’t be once I’ve properly kicked his ass.”

“I’m not doing anything for Doug anymore, okay?” Maddie pointedly looks from Buck to TK and back to Buck with a set of determination. “This is just the next chapter in Maddie’s fresh start.” She bounces happily, a new-found excitement in her. “Come on. Haircut, apartment, dispatcher of the month. I don’t know if you’ve heard.”

“See?” TK says with a bright smile, leaning forward to give his sister a high five. “Badass.”

“Please do not encourage her. I’ve heard it about a thousand times and I will continue to hear it if you keep hyping her up like this.” They all chuckle though, no heat behind the words. He shakes his head, holding his hands up once more as TK leans back to take a swig of water. “Come on.”

“Oh, is that what this is about?” Maddie smiles slyly as she goes back to throwing punches at Buck’s padded hands. “I’m thriving and you can’t handle it.”

“And you call her the angel.” Buck shakes his head at the glint in TK’s eyes as he shrugs his shoulders. “I’m great.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re doing great. You’re still sleeping in my dining room. By the way, what happened to Earthquake girl?”

“Your trash talk sucks.”

“Ali decided who the better brother was and got with me.” TK smiles widely and Maddie rolls her eyes lovingly. 

“I’ll believe that when pigs begin to fly.”

TK pouts, though it’s not actually genuine. Buck drops his hands, furrowing his eyebrows as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Ali’s around. We’re taking it slow.” Buck ignores the pointed look TK is no doubt sending Buck’s way. Ty made it very clear that he thinks Buck has his head in his ass, trying to ignore and push down his feelings for Eddie by trying to slowly convince himself that he likes Ali. Buck in no way moved to deny the accusation, but he most certainly didn’t admit it either. He’s not about to tell TK that he’s right. “She’s, uh, she’s in New York on business.”

“Why is it that every girl you date wants to either flee the state or the country?”

Buck raises both eyebrows at Maddie’s playful smirk and TK’s snort. “At least when I date someone, I date them. What’s your excuse?”

Maddie frowns in confusion along with TK, not quite understanding the question. “What are you talking about?”

“Uh-huh.” Now Buck’s the one with a gleam in his eye, casting a smirk in TK’s direction before smugly turning back to Maddie. “How’s Chimney?”

Maddie sighs, going back to throwing punches to the amusement of both of her brothers. “Chimney? We’re friends.”

“Except, ooh!” Maddie ducks as Buck swings his arm out, popping back up with a slightly irritated frown. “You want to date him.”

She glances at TK, expecting him to step in, but he raises both arms in surrender, bowing his head slightly to hide his cheeky grin. She turns back to Buck, waving a finger at him. “I never told you that.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to. Your fists are saying it. Intensity and speed notched up, like, twenty percent the second I mentioned his name.” Buck moves back slightly with a laugh as Maddie menacingly steps toward him. “Okay, easy. Let me ask you this. You’re doing so well. Y- you’re ‘thriving’. Why can’t you just date the guy?”

She sighs, and from the side TK snorts loudly. He spares Buck another glance, muttering an “Ironic, ain’t it?” under his breath before moving back to the punching bags.

///////

“I’m definitely going to miss these meals, Bobby.” TK lets out a satisfied sigh, leaning back in his chair and patting his stomach. Across the table, Buck stretches with a yawn, blinking his eyes open in confusion and lifting his head off of Eddie’s shoulder. “Enjoy your little nap, Bucky?”

“Sorry, Eds.” Buck rubs at his eyes, shaking his head to clear the fogginess. “Didn’t realize I had fallen asleep.”

“Ah, it’s fine, Buck.” Eddie smiles, and Buck can’t help but admire the small twinkle in his eye when Eddie does smile. “You’re brother here kept me company in the meantime. Plus, I didn’t mind. You looked like you needed just a few minutes of shut eye.”

Buck smiles back just as warmly, but then he’s biting his lip when he turns back to catch TK’s knowing gaze. He stands, groaning as he reaches high and leans back, relishing in the way his spine pops. “Where’s Chim?”

He asks it mainly to get away from TK’s smugness. His brother has been on his case about Eddie non-stop every moment he could, so Buck tries his hardest to be in a room with other people when he’s with TK.

“He’s with his boo.” Hen replies from where she stands at the banister alongside Bobby. Buck frowns in confusion, glancing at TK who shrugs his shoulders as he gets up as well. He, Ty, and Eddie all move to the banister to look down where Chim is talking with Maddie. She excitedly holds a folder of papers for the man to see.

“Divorce papers.” Buck raises an eyebrow at his brother, and TK nods at the papers. “Dad’s been divorced before. I know what they look like.”

When Chim steps closer to Maddie, TK begins swinging his hand wildly, abusing Buck’s right arm. “Ow. Ow! Ty, I know! Stop hitting me!”

Maddie and Chim exchange a few more words before she leans forward, leaving a kiss on his cheek. Once she walks away, TK let’s out a whistle. Buck leans against the railing with a knowing smile. Bobby claps dramatically. Hen waves at her friend excitedly. Eddie places a hand against his chest and extends his other arm out, cheering for the man as if he were watching a soap opera. 

TK leans down next to Buck, his lips just at his ear. “And then there was one.”

Buck cocks an eyebrow, and TK glances where Eddie stands on his other side before returning his gaze to Buck’s. He gives him a pointed look for three more seconds before leaning back up and continuing to cat call at the paramedic. Buck continues to smile, but he can hear TK’s thoughts at the back of his mind.

_ Why can’t you just date the guy? _

///////

“Leaving?” Buck looks up at the sound of Eddie’s voice.

“Yep. You wanna come over when you get off? Ty and I are hanging out while Chim and Maddie are gonna be out on their date. You can bring Chris, too. Maybe we can order some pizza, play some video games, watch some movies.”

Eddie smiles brightly, nodding his head. “I will definitely consider it, Buck.” He places a hand on Buck’s shoulder, leaning close with his wide genuine smile. “Chris loves Coco.”

Buck smiles just as brightly. “Then I will be sure to pick it up on my way over.”

“Te amo.” He can hear Eddie whisper as he leaves the station. And then the older man shouts louder. “You try to trick me into eating another vegan pizza and I will end you! Get me a meat lovers!”

Buck chuckles brightly, throwing Eddie a salute before making his way to his jeep. “Text me when you get off so I’ll know when to put in the order!”

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “I’m at 1832 Bryson Avenue! I have two adult males, one unconscious and badly beaten, the other with multiple stab wounds to his torso! Need medical and police response!” _

_ “Okay, sir. Can I get your name?” _

_ “Evan Buckley. I’m a firefighter with the 118.” _

///////

“Breathe.” TK smiles brightly, touching up on Chim’s outfit as the man inhales and exhales with nervousness. “You look great. You are great. Trust me, you guys are gonna have a great time.”

Chim nods, turns slightly, before turning back just as distraught as he was before. “Are you sure?”

TK groans out of love, forcibly moving Chim right to the gate. “Ring the doorbell, man. You’re not the only one with plans tonight, which you won’t get to yours if you keep standing here.”

Chim nods with a nervous smile as he rings the bell, and he and TK both smile at the camera before the sound of the gate unlocking is heard. 

“Let’s go!” TK bounds happily as he leads Chim through the door and towards Maddie’s apartment. He’s happy to see his older sister finally moving on from such a horrible—

“Chim?” TK frowns at the sound of Chim grunting, turning and catching a hooded figure driving a knife into the paramedic’s stomach one more time before letting him fall to the ground. “Chim!”

The figure moves forward, looking up for TK to get a good look at his face. He narrows his eyes, clenches his fists, grinds his teeth. “You.”

The man moves forward in an attempt to stab TK, but TK grabs the man’s wrist, twisting it just the right way to get him to drop the weapon so he can kick it away. He brings his knee up, driving it into the man’s side and causing him to grunt in pain. The man wrenches himself towards the ground, pulling TK down with him.

He rolls, and due to TK being caught off guard, the man gets the advantage, now having TK pinned under him. He throws one punch. . . two. . . three. . . four to TK’s face, and he can feel his skin splitting, the wetness of blood shining on his face. The man moves his hands, and TK has all but two seconds to breathe deeply and try to hold it when the hands wrap around his throat. And he tries, but the heel of the man’s hand is digging into his throat just right to cause him to cough out his air painfully.

He struggles, first clawing at the hands on his neck before latching onto the jacket and pulling the man down while throwing his head forward. The man above him swears as their heads connect, letting go of TK’s throat. He doesn’t take the moment to soothe his throat or catch his breath. He hops up and swings his foot at the place he should’ve aimed in the first place. The man swears again, cupping his crotch and falling to his knees where TK can then effectively kick at his chest, knocking the man’s air away and causing him to fall back. TK aims the next kick at the man’s face, but the man brings his hands up to wrap around his ankle. He pulls and TK falls back hard. 

He jumps up quickly, but the fall has left him disoriented, so it surprises him when the man is suddenly in front of him, grasping TK’s hair tightly. He pulls TK out, and by the time it dawns on TK what’s happening, it’s too late to stop it. His head slams against the wall painfully, and he crumples to the ground, unmoving.

///////

_ “Buck?” _

It doesn’t surprise him that the dispatcher would know his name. He presses his jacket against Chim’s stomach, doing his best to stem the blood flow.

“Yeah. Victims are Tyler Kenned Strand and Howard Han.” He throws another worrying glance at Ty. “Tyler appears to have a head injury. I can’t tell how severe. Howard’s got profuse bleeding to his abdomen. Breathing is labored. Might’ve hit a lung.” He brings a hand up to cup Chim’s cheek, worrying eyes taking in Chim’s face. When Buck had arrived, he immediately dropped everything. Of course, everything in him wanted to go to Ty first, but he had to think as a firefighter, assessing the situation clear enough to see that between the two, Chim needed immediate attention, even if Ty was unresponsive. “Come on, Chim. Hang in there.”

_ “Buck, RA units two minutes out. Do you know how this happened? How long have they been down?” _

“I don’t know I just got home and found them. Given the amount of blood, I would say minutes not hours.”

_ “How are the pulse?” _

“Ty’s was a bit slow but steady.” He presses his fingers against Chim’s neck, sighing. “Chim’s is weak, but it’s there.” Chim’s head lolls, his voice mumbling. “Wait, hold on. He’s talking. Chim it’s me, it’s Buck. I’m here. Okay? I just need you to stay with me, Chimney.”

“Jason. . . took he. . .”

“Who is Jason?” Buck glances up as the walls begin to shine red and white. The ambulances are here.

“Maddie. . .”

His heart stops. He looks up as his eyes lock on Ty before moving to Maddie’s apartment. The temperature seems to have dropped and he feels a cold breeze yet everything inside feels so hot. “Where is Maddie? Chimney, where is Maddie? Chimney, where is Maddie!?” He’s growing frantic, and he feels even hotter but so cold at the same time. Anxiety. “Where is Maddie?!”

Paramedics rush forward, two kneeling by Ty and another two kneeling by Chim. “We got it, sir.”

Buck doesn’t even let the paramedic finish before he hops up with his phone, rushing towards the apartment. “Maddie!” The door is ajar, and the dread in Buck grows to be overwhelming. “Maddie!”

“Maddie!”

He rushes up the stairs, taking three at a time. Her bedroom’s empty.

“Maddie, where are you?!”

He checks the bathroom.

“Maddie! Maddie, are you in here?!”

He rushes back down the stairs, and through her living room to the kitchen.

“Maddie!”

He stops, trying to control his breathing as he realizes he’s practically hyperventilating. He brings his phone up to his ear shakily. “She’s uh. . .” His heart is racing. He has to swallow in an attempt to slow it down, but it does no good. He moves back out slowly to the living room. “She’s not here.” He can feel hot tears begin to roll down his face. “She’s gone.”

“Oh no.” It’s when he looks down that he spots it. Maddie’s keys. Maddie’s phone. Resting amongst the shatter glass of her coffee table.

_ “Buck? What is it, Buck?”  _ He reaches down and picks up the discarded iPhone. _“Did you find something.”_

“. . . All of her stuff is still here.”

He’s grown quiet. And he feels as though he isn’t all there at the moment. He feels a pain in his chest.

_ “All units responding to 1832 Bryson, be advised. We also have a critical missing adult female. Maddie Buckley-Kendall.” _

He’s found her.

Doug has found Maddie.

///////

_ “Hey, Buck!” _ Eddie sounds so happy. So cheerful. He can hear the sounds of cars in the background. _“I was about to text you. I’m on my way to Pepa’s to pick up Chris.”_

Buck exhales deeply. It seems as though Eddie’s voice has this magical way of calming his nerves. Not completely, but just enough to bring him back from the brink of a panic attack. He takes in another shaky breath, feels a tear roll down his eye.

_ “Buck? Talk to me. What’s happened?” _

“It’s. . . Chim and Ty. They’re at the hospital. Chim’s been stabbed. Ty seems to have fought the attacker as best he could.” His voice cracks and chokes back a sob, shaking his head. He doesn’t need to cry; he needs to pull himself together to focus on Maddie. “Maddie’s gone.”

He hears Eddie swear, hears the squeal of tires. _“Where are you, Buck? What do you need?”_

He shakes his head even though Eddie can’t see him. “The rest of the team is at the hospital, I have to finish up here before I head over there. I just. . . can you make sure Ty is alright? He, uh, he wasn’t conscious when I found him.”

He’s worried about both his siblings and he clenches and unclenches his fist.

_ “Absolutely. See you soon, Buck.” _

He nods absentmindedly, rambles off the hospital Chim and Ty were sent to before hanging up. He’s got to find his sister.

*****

“It was Doug. Doug Kendall. He told Maddie he would kill her if she left him. He did this.” Buck’s jaw ticks at the way the detective skeptically writes down the information Buck tells him. He wants to fucking hit the guy. 

“You said he lives in Pennsylvania.” Yeah, Buck definitely doesn’t appreciate the condescending, disbelieving tone. Has this guy never looked into abusive husbands? What happened to the police always assuming that it was the husband who committed the domestic crime? “He knows she was here?”

“No, s- sh- she. . .”

“She was filing for divorce. That could’ve put her back on his radar.” _Thank you, Athena._

“Well, we’ll take a look at him. But, before your friend loss consciousness, he said he was attacked by a Jason Bailey. Either of you know who that is?”

Honestly? No. And Buck should’ve found it suspicious how Chim’s new friend was never around when anyone else was. Buck looks to Bobby, but the Cap shakes his head with a frown.

“I don’t think so.”

The detective nods, turning to go back in the house. Buck follows hot on his heels.

“Wait! Uh, wait. Hold on. Detective!” The detective turns his head in acknowledgement but continues to stride through Maddie’s apartment, back to the front door. “I know he had a new friend. Some guy, he was—he was playing pool with? I never met him but now I know why, y’know? Cause it was Doug! He got close to Chimney so that he could get close to Maddie.” The detective continues to walk, offering no statement. He turns back to Athena and Bobby in confusion about his silence before glancing back at Chimney’s phone, still lying on the ground surrounded by yellow tape. “You don’t believe me. I mean, Chimney’s phone is right there. Y’know? Check for yourself.”

“Phone’s locked. Can’t open it without the victim’s consent.”

Buck let’s out a frustrated groan as Athena steps forward in an attempt to calm Buck. “They’ll subpoena his phone records, but it’ll take time.”

“Maddie doesn’t HAVE TIME! Okay?!” Buck doesn’t understand why all three of them seem so nonchalant. Chim has been stabbed. His brother is badly injured. And Maddie is missing. And no one seems to care except him. “Come on! Doug did this! H- he almost killed Chimney and Ty and. . .” Buck stops, takes another deep breath, loses the heat in his tone. All that’s left is desperation. “And he could kill her next.”

“But he didn’t.”

“Bobby!” He hears the sob threatening to arise, fights away the tears as Bobby strides forward, reaching out comfortingly.

“Buck. Just listen to me. Buck, may—maybe you’re right.” Bobby has a good grip on him, and Buck would like nothing more than to just fall against the man and let out all the pain, anger, sadness, worry. “It’s Doug. And he found out where Maddie was and he came here and he hurt Chimney and TK. But Maddie’s not here. And if all he wanted to do was kill her. . .”

“I would’ve found her, too.” Buck finishes quietly.

“And you didn’t. She was alive when he took her, and that’s what we’re gonna hold on to right now.” Bobby pats his shoulder and moves to his side. He glances to Athena and the detective. Down at the phone. Back up at the detective.

“Um, uh. . . can I—c- c- can I change my shirt? Uh. . . it’s. . . covered in. . .”

“Fine. Just don’t touch anything. And bag his shirt when he’s done.”

He’s going to find his sister.

///////

He swallows thickly at the sight of Chim, yet again, in a hospital bed. And he can barely handle the sight. It’s half the reason why he hasn’t gone to see Ty yet. He’ll break down at the sight of his brother.

He moves forward as the nurse moves away, already feeling guilty. He sighs, fumbling with Chim’s phone. “Sorry ‘bout this, buddy.”

“You’re not supposed to be in here.”

Buck glances at the nurse and leans further down next to Chimney, doing his best to not actually put his weight on his friend. “Oh! Oh God!”

“Please sir.”

“Please don’t let him die!”

“You have to go back to the lobby.”

“He can’t die on me!”

“Sir, you need to leave. No.”

“You can’t leave!”

“Sir.” Buck glances down at the screen displaying the apps Chim has. He looks up as he leans out of Chim’s space, holding his hand up in surrender. “You have to go.”

“Okay. I’m going. I’m going.” He smirks triumphantly as he moves away from Chim’s bed, hitting messages to search for a Jason Bailey.

“You know, Detective Marks didn’t believe me.” Buck’s smile falls instantly as he inwardly groans and meets Athena’s steely gaze. She’s flanked by two officers and has a hand on her hip as she tilts her head disappointingly. “He said no one could be that stupid. I said you don’t know Buck.”

Shit.

*****

Buck’s leg bounces up and down anxiously. Chim’s been stabbed. TK’s still unconscious. Maddie’s still out there with Doug. And he’s sitting here in trouble for trying to do something about it. He’s already got enough to deal with, so he rolls his eyes as the door swings open and in strolls Eddie.

“So,” the older man makes himself right next to Buck, his knee resting against Buck’s. “That was a bold move.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. ‘What were you thinking, Buck?’” He looks up at Eddie and looks away just as fast. He knows how bad he looks. Eye’s puffy from crying. He feels small. Looks devastated. And there are so many important things he should be focused on, but here he is, wishing Eddie wouldn’t be seeing him this way. “I already got an earful from Athena.”

_ Feel my stank eye.  _ Athena turns from where she’s speaking on the phone and rolls her eyes at Buck’s pettiness before shaking her head and turning back the other way.

“Oh, no. I know what you were thinking. I got sisters, too.” He looks back to Eddie’s understanding gaze, studies him as he scoffs. “Still not sure how you thought you were getting away with it, though.”

“I wasn’t worried about that.” Eddie hums in response and Buck sighs sadly, leaning into Eddie slightly. He frowns, and turns more towards Eddie, slides back slightly from his proximity, and furrows his eyebrows. “See, police have all these rules, y’know? Rules that are gonna get Maddie killed. But I’m a civilian. Those rules, they don’t apply to me, right?”

Eddie nods, eyebrows furrowed and he can certainly see the small smile that Edmundo fights off. “Then why are you in hospital jail?”

Buck’s quiet, his broken eyes moving off of Eddie and onto the hospital curtains. Eddie sighs, jaw ticking in slight anger, his eyes holding a slight regret from the comment as Buck fights back the tears yet again and fails to do so, yet again.

“I told Maddie. . . I said that she didn’t need to keep on running, that she could start over here. That she would be _safe_.” He meets Eddie’s gaze with his tearful one. “That I would keep her safe.” He shakes his head, face contorting in an effort to keep himself from sobbing. “I couldn’t even keep my brother safe.”

Eddie sighs as Buck slumps sadly, subconsciously leaning into Eddie’s side for comfort. “This isn’t your fault.”

_ But it feels like it is. _

If only he’d been there earlier. He could’ve stopped Doug. He could’ve saved Maddie.

“What is she had kept running? You think he wouldn’t have found her? Only then, she’d. . . be alone.”

“She’s alone now.” His jaw ticks and through his water gaze Eddie can see a spark of anger. “With him.”

“I spoke with Detective Marks.” Athena and Bobby stop in front of him and Eddie. “He’s not happy with you.”

“I- I- I just—”

“You broke chain of custody. You unlocked Chimney’s phone without his permission. Marks can’t use any of it.” Buck slides in defeat. What now?

“I’m sorry, okay? I was trying to help.”

Athena nods, glancing back at Bobby. “Okay. Let’s go. The car’s out front.”

That’s. . . not what Buck was expecting. He looks to Bobby, but he doesn’t say anything. He smiles in disbelief.

“You’re arresting me.”

“Not yet. But the night’s still young.”

He watches Athena move to the doors, glances up at Bobby in shock. Bobby raises both eyebrows in response, gesturing in the direction Athena went. He hops up, quickly catching up to the sergeant.

“Uh, where are we going?”

“To find your sister.” She holds up Chimney’s phone. “If Doug is Jason, this phone is how we find him. But we gonna need a little help.”

“I thought you said we couldn’t use the phone.”

“I said _Marks_ can’t use it. This isn’t my case. I’m just a concerned friend of the victim.”

_ I take back every rude thing I said about you.  _ “Thank you.”

Man does he love Athena.

///////

“I’m not sure how we can help, Sergeant, but whatever you need. . .”

“Athena, please. I’m off duty.”

“This is Josh.” The operator stands solemnly. Maddie’s friend that she had told Buck about. He shakes both of their hands. “Athena. And Buck, Maddie’s brother.”

“Maddie’s told me a lot about you.”

“Same here. Any word on her?”

“Well, police don’t have much to go on, yet. So. . .” Athena glances up at Buck and back to Josh. “Neither one of us are good at sitting and waiting so I thought I’d come by, ask you some questions. Unofficially.”

“Sure. What do you want to know?”

“Well, when people dial 9-1-1, you can see where they’re calling from, right?”

“If the call came from a landline, absolutely. Cell phones are trickier. We don’t get an automatic address.”

“Our system has to digitally request the phone’s location from the cellular network.”

Athena nods, holding up Chim’s phone to display “Jason Bailey’s” information. “Okay, well, this is Chimney’s phone. We think he was in contact with his attacker.”

“Maddie’s husband.”

“Chimney, didn’t know it was him.” Buck says, in a way to clear up the supervisor’s confusion. “He thought his name was Jason.”

“Now, I’m wondering—hypothetically—if this number called 9-1-1 and hung up, is your system able to request location data after the call was disconnected.”

The supervisor—Sue, according to her nametag—crosses her arms and smirks slightly, catching Athena’s drift. “Hypothetically, sure. Bu—”

“Of course, we could.” Jason reaches forward a takes the phone off Athena’s hands with a charming smile. And instantly, Buck likes Josh. He respects that Josh values Maddie’s friendship to due whatever it takes to get her back. He looks down at the phone number. “You know, it’s funny. This number seems familiar. In fact, I think I might’ve taken a call from it earlier.”

Yep, this guy is now Buck’s friend. He respects this guy. Hell, he might even kiss him. He knows Josh is lying—Doug most certainly would _not_ call 9-1-1—but he wants Maddie back just as much as Buck does.

Josh looks at Sue pointedly. “An emergency call.”

“Josh.” Sue looks at Josh, also pointedly, as he sits down in front of the monitor and begins pulling up information. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Sue looks up at Buck, and he gives her his best puppy eyes because he _needs_ this. He needs to get Maddie back. She sighs. “Okay. Let’s make a manual request.”

///////

_ “Shit!” _

_ Both Maddie and Buck freeze in horror, their eyes remaining on the glass bowl shattered on the ground. Buck was sitting at the table, enjoying the kale Maddie had made for him with a raised eyebrow (commenting during the process about her observations on Buck’s intake of meat or meat-products, or lack thereof). She had reached into the refrigerator to get him some juice and the glass bowl sat on top of the refrigerator (the very special made glass bowl that Daniel and their mom had gotten for one of their anniversaries; the very special made glass bowl that **cannot** be found anywhere else because they aren’t made anymore) had fallen. By the time Maddie could register what had happened, the bowl was already shattered to a million pieces. _

_ “Shit! I—damnit!” Maddie tugs at her hair, bites her nails, and then rushes for the broom and dustpan, sweeping up the shards and tossing them into the trashcan. She drags a hand down her face, grabbing her laptop and typing furiously but it’s no use. There’s no replacement for it. _

_ When Daniel comes home, he’s furious. It’s the first time Buck’s seen the man so mad. When he asks who’s responsible, Buck looks up at Maddie. Her eyes are wide, and her breathing seems to pick up speed. She’s terrified. And the last thing Buck ever wants is for his sister to be terrified.  _

_ He steps forward, explains to Daniel that he had gone in the refrigerator for some juice. The bowl had fallen. He’s sorry. Daniel seems to accept that, and Buck takes pleasure in the look of relief that comes across Maddie’s face when Daniel lets it go. _

_ Of course, when Maddie leaves later that night, Daniel decides to show his true color. The nearest weapon was a cord for something, Buck doesn’t really know what but it didn’t matter, whatever cord in that house would still hurt the way that one did as it repeatedly lashed out at his legs, bruising the skin tremendously. _

_ It was the first of many violent occurrences with Daniel. And though Buck hadn’t wished for the abuse, he would never take back that first hit. He’d go through hell and back, as long as his sister was safe. _

///////

_ “Detective Marks.” _

“Andy!” Athena calls brightly as the Detectives voice fills the car. “It’s Athena. Listen, you’re gonna get a call from Sue Blevins at 9-1-1 dispatch. She might have a lead on Doug’s location.”

_ “Do I wanna know how she obtained this very important information?” _

“Let’s just call it an anonymous tip and not look any gift horses in the mouth. We’ll meet you there.”

_ “Copy that.” _

The detective hangs up promptly after sighing through the phone, and Athena spares a glance at Buck—who’s been staring out the window for the entire car ride without uttering a single word—before returning her gaze to the road ahead. “You’re awfully quiet over there, Buckaroo.”

He’s been trying to remain calm, but he’s shutting down. His mom always told him that. He’ll shut down when he needs someone the most, remain passive, barely talk. She was almost convinced that he was depressed one year.

He sighs heavily as he turns from the road to Athena, filled with nothing but dread and worry. “When we get there. . . w- what do you think we’re gonna find? I- I mean, he threatened to _kill_ her, y’know? Al- almost did kill Ty and Chimney—”

“No.” Athena shakes her head sternly at him, her motherly gaze effectively shutting him up. She wags a finger at him before bringing her hand back to the wheel and focusing once more on the road. “My gut is telling me not to count your sister out just yet. Maddie didn’t just rebuild her life, she rebuilt her _self_. Doug may have her, but I don’t think he has any idea who he’s dealing with now.”

///////

When he blinks his eyes open, he’s back in the hospital. Again. At this rate, he’s gonna start having to keep tabs on how many times he seems to end up in these beds. It’s becoming a nasty habit.

Speaking of nasty, he has one hell of a nasty migraine. It causes him to groan painfully, and he’s all for closing his eyes and going back under to evade the pain.

“You’re awake!”

TK nearly jumps out of his skin, and when he looks over, there’s a small boy seated in the chair by his bead. He frowns, looking around for his dad, for Bobby, for any of the members of the 118. For Buck. There’s no one else in the room, just the little boy.

“Um. . . who—” He hisses from the throbbing sensation as he slowly maneuvers himself into a more propped up position. “Who are you?”

“You’re guardian angel!”

“Guard. . ? Am I dead?” He glances behind him just to check that he’s not having an out-of-body experience. Takes great relief in not seeing himself still lying on the bed in a coma. 

“You’re not dead. If you were dead, how would you be awake right now?”

“Um. . . lucid dream?”

“What’s a lucid dream?”

“When you’re asleep but awake at the same time.” The boy frowns, cocking his head slightly in confusion. TK waves his hand. “You’ll understand when you’re older.” He pauses, frowning himself. “You’re not a hallucination, are you? A figment of my imagination?”

The steadily hops out of the chair, slowly waddling the small distance to the bed. It’s then that TK notices the instability in his legs, and he reaches out to grab hold of the kid before he can fall. He grits his teeth and pulls through the pain as he lifts the boy up and into the bed with him, despite not knowing who he is at all.

The boy rolls over with a bright and bubbly smile that TK can’t help but return despite the throbbing in his head. The boy reaches up, resting a small hand on his cheek.

“I’m right here.” He says firmly.

“Yeah, I can see that. My own personal guardian angel.”

“My daddy said Bucky wanted us to watch over you.” He moves his hand letting it rest on the base of TK’s neck, which he now realizes is a bit sore when he swallows. “Bucky’s my friend.”

“Yeah.” TK smiles and leans his head just a bit closer. “He’s my big brother.” He furrows his eyebrows, thinks hard about who Buck would ask to watch over him. The only one on the team with a son. Well, the only _dad_ on the team. “I’m guessing you are the infamous Christopher that I’ve heard so much about.”

The boy nods with a smile. “My daddy says your name is TK.”

“Yep. Tyler Kennedy. That would be me.”

“That’s a girl’s name.”

He let’s out the most adorable chuckle TK has every heard and TK can’t help but laugh himself. “It is, isn’t it?” He looks around, grabbing a remote and turning on the tv. He flips through the channel and smiles when he finds the old cartoon still running. “Hey, check this out. This was me and Bucky’s favorite cartoon. When he got stuck in the hospital, Maddie showed this to him. And when I got stuck in the hospital, he showed it to me.”

“And now you’re showing it to me.”

“I guess I am, yeah. It’s sort of a family tradition.”

“Does that mean I’m family?”

“Any friend of Buck is a friend of mine. And with us, anyone who’s a friend is automatically family.”

Chris cuddles closely, and the two watch with chuckles and laughs as the three inseparable siblings cause mayhem all throughout the Warner Bros lot. Later, Eddie comes stumbling in, shaking his head with a small smile at the two sleeping boys.

“Dios mio, you sure know how to get around when you want to mijo.”

///////

“Found the phone.” Detective Marks says as Buck and Athena approach him. He moves from the officer and the truck driver to the two of them. “No sign of our suspect or your sister.”

“Yeah, but he has Doug’s phone.” Buck says irritably, gesturing to the truck driver accusingly. “How!?”

“Well, driver left Salt Lake City yesterday, been on the road ever since. Says he’s got no clue how the phone ended up in his truck.”

Athena nods, moving past Marks to the driver. Buck and Marks follows behind. “Sir, you make any stops?”

“Gas station. Just before sunrise.”

“See anybody else there?”

“When I was leaving, saw a couple going into the store.”

Athena turns back to Buck and Marks with a scowl. “He knew we could use the phone to track him. Probably dropped it in the truck just to throw us off.”

Buck shakes his head, huffing in more frustration. “So, they could be anywhere by now.”

“Yeah. But Doug’s _way_ ahead of us.”

Fuck.

///////

Buck’s anxiety ramps up yet again when they make it to the gas station to find another body—DOA unlike Ty and Chim—and still no Maddie. And as the time continues to pass, he continues to grow more scared of what he’ll find when they finally catch up to Maddie and Doug.

“We only have eyes on the pumps and the register,” Marks states as Athena and Buck watch the security tape once more. And there they are, Doug and Maddie. His sister, still alive. Though still in danger. “Our best we can guess, she goes out the back window, husband catches her.”

_ Ex- _ husband. Buck bites his tongue to keep from bitterly correcting the detective.

“Yeah,” Athena nods, gesturing to the feed where the cashier begins rummaging through the cabinets. “Cashier sees something’s wrong, goes to help, winds up getting shot with his own gun.”

“Guess he thought he could handle it on his own.” Buck’s jaw ticks at the pointed glance the detective throws his way before he turns back to Athena.

“Sir,” the three look to the officer holding pieces of paper. “Found this in the bathroom.”

Marks takes the paper, unfolding it and nodding appreciatively. “It’s a rental car agreement for a dark grey four door Sedan.” Buck perks up at the news, following behind Athena to get a closer look at the papers. “Looks like she started to write help on the back. Rented near Burbank airport. I’ll put out an APB.”

Athena takes the paper, and Buck looks hopefully from Marks to Athena’s studious gaze. “Well, we know where he rented the car. Maybe we can use that to track him.”

“Uh, like LoJack.” Buck adds, finally speaking up more than before.

“Rental car companies don’t use GPS tracking, it’s too expensive.”

“Yeah, major companies don’t. But if you’re Bob and you only have twelve cars in your fleet, you might wanna know where they are at all times.” Athena hands the paper back and Marks pulls out his phone instantly, walking out of the station.

“Hey, it’s Marks. I think we just got a lead on our suspect.”

///////

TK doesn’t know the woman who enters the room this time, but from the way she smiles at the sleeping boy at his side (they really need to put a bell on this child), TK can assume that this is Christopher’s mother.

“Hi.” she rubs at her pants as she moves further into the room. She sits down in the chair next to him. “My turn to hunt down the escapee.”

TK smiles glancing to the tv still playing his favorite cartoon. “He said he came back to watch some more animaniacs.”

Shannon looks up to the tv, cocking an eyebrow at the characters running about on the screen. “Kinda reminds me of looney tunes.”

“Same company.” She makes an ‘o’ shape with her mouth. “Um, I’m TK, by the way.”

“Shannon.” She shakes his hand with a smile and glances down lovingly at her son. She sighs, standing again. “I should let him rest.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to overstep. He just keeps coming in here by surprise.”

“It’s okay. It seems like he likes you. Something about you and Buck as Eddie tells me.” Shannon nods respectively, giving TK a small smile. “I’ll come back to check on him later.”

///////

“We found the kidnappers vehicle nearby so we’re looking for a couple,” Marks explains to the receptionist as they step outside with Buck and Athena. “They may have come in earlier looking for a last-minute rental.”

“No, it’s been quiet today. Nobody’s come in.”

“Are these all the properties that you manage?” Athena asks, holding up a pamphlet. 

“Oh, no. Those are just the ones we highlight. There’s, uh, a magazine inside, it has all the listings.”

“Um, how many do you manage?”

“Three-hundred.”

Buck’s going to slam his head into the wall if the world doesn’t stop fucking with him.

*****

“Local sheriff got a report of gunshots,” Buck tenses at the word, inhales deeply as he looks around the empty cabin. They were so close, and of course, when they get here, Maddie and Doug are nowhere to be found. “They followed up, found this.”

“Yeah, rental manager says all the late cabinets are vacant, but somebody’s been here. And they left in a hurry.” Buck follows behind Athena as she moves back outside. He stops at the doorframe, brushing his fingers against the splintered wood before catching up to the sergeant.

“It’s gotta be them, right?”

“Question now is, which way did they go?”

He looks out at all the snow and trees, heart clenching. “If she’s out there, and she’s hurt. . .”

“They’re sending more officers,” Marks says, catching up to the two and waving his radio. “Search and Rescue’s on its way. Choppers, dogs. . . it’s gonna be a full court press.”

“I’ve got blood out here!” Someone calls from the walkway leading to the woods. He hears blood, and he’s done waiting. He takes one last glance at Marks, decides screw all, and takes off. 

He flies off the porch, around the cabin, and sprints down the walkway and into the trees faster than the officials can comprehend. 

“Maddie!” His throat his sore, but he doesn’t give a damn. Not as long as his sister is still out there, injured and alone. “Maddie!”

He’s sprinting fast, footsteps crunching in the snow as the concrete ends. He crashes through the trees and into a vast opening of snow, turns just the right way and almost trips over his own feet. There, just about thirty feet ahead, is Maddie, clutching her side and hobbling through the snow.

“Maddie!”

She stills, as if studying Buck as he races towards her before finally calling out with relief. “Buck?”

“Maddie!”

And she outright sobs as he comes up to hear. Everything she’s feeling topped off with an enormous amount of relief as Buck catches her before she can fall. “Buck!”

She cries, falling against him and wrapping her arms tightly around him. He falls to his knees, leaning back to hold Maddie’s weight as she sobs openly. Doug’s nowhere to be found but Buck doesn’t care because Maddie’s here, alive and in his arms. Safe.

“Hey, hey! I’m here. I’m here.” He brings his hand up, caressing the back of her head softly. His eyes are wide as so many emotions flow through him that he laughs, the taste of salty tears making him realize that he, too, is also crying.

“I didn’t give up!” Maddie cries, and he rocks her, squeezing tightly just to make sure that she’s here, he has her. “I di—I didn’t give up!”

He breathes heavily, lips against her neck, her temple. His grip tight, not to hurt her, but firm enough to let her know that he has her. He’s not letting her go. 

“It’s all over.”

///////

“You’re almost there, you’re doing great.” Buck says, grasping Maddie’s hand tightly as the ambulance rocks them back and forth.

“M’tired.” The paramedic looks up at Buck in concern, and Buck’s heart skips a beat for a second, shaking Maddie’s hand a bit, his other hand cupping her head.

“Uh, hey. Hey, Maddie, I- I- I know, I know you’re tired, but I- I need you to keep your eyes open for me. You know the drill.” She blinks, blearily looking at the roof before moving her gaze to Buck. “Yeah, just like that.” He sniffles, leans back with a sad smile. “Hey, uh, you think you had a hard day? Athena and I have been running all over the state looking for you. I wasn’t dressed for snow.”

She scrunches her face up endearingly, and if she were feeling her normal self, she probably would’ve rolled her eyes. “Me neither.”

They both chuckle. “Athena said she, uh. . . she called Bobby. Let everyone know that you’re okay. They are gonna be so relieved. Ty. . . and Chimney. Chimney most of all.”

Her face contorts, and she looks as though she’s going to cry again. “They’re alive?”

He immediately frowns and thinks. When Doug took Maddie, he had to have dragged her past an unconscious TK and a bleeding Chim. Hell, when Buck found them, he almost had a heart attack himself. Believing his brother and Chim to both be dead. “Oh my god. Yeah—Maddie, yeah. No, they’re alive. They. . . they made it through.” She smiles happily, and Buck smiles back. “You all did.”

///////

“Bucky!” TK’s eyes flutter open, Chris still glued to his side. His eyes glance at the door, where Buck leans against the doorframe, holding on to the handle of a wheelchair, occupied by. . .

“Maddie. . .” TK breathes out, pushing himself out and wincing at the dull throb. “Maddie, you’re okay.”

“Yeah,” she nods tearfully as Buck wheels her to the side of the bed. “I’m okay.” She reaches out, taking TK’s hands in hers and bringing them up to her mouth. She inhales and lowers them, wiping a stray tear away. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Is it. . ?”

“It’s over.” Maddie nods furiously. “Doug won’t hurt us ever again.”

“Good.”

There’s a soft knock at the door, and the nurse smiles as she walks in towards Maddie. “Ready.”

Maddie spares one last glance at TK. “I love you, Tyler.”

“I love you, too, Maddie.”

She smiles and then nods at the nurse before being wheeled out of the room. TK turns to face Buck.

“Where’s she going?”

“She still has a date.” He says with a twinkle in his eye before grunting as does his best to comfortably fit on the bed along with TK and Chris, ultimately having Chris sprawled on top of the two (leaving him a giggling mess). “Did you miss me Superman?”

“Yeah.” 

“I see you were watching over my brother. Thank you so much.”

“We’re family. We’ve got to look out for one another.”

“Yeah.” Buck smiles warmly, glancing up at his favorite cartoon. “Yeah we do.”

Eddie turns the corner tiredly a moment later, shaking his head fondly as he drags himself to the chair, moves it close to the bed, sits down and lets his head rest against Buck’s leg. Buck raises an eyebrow comically, glancing to TK and Chris with amusement.

“Do I want to know what that’s about.”

“Ah, you know,” TK says with a twinkle in his eye. “Just having a bit of fun. Right, bud?”

Chris giggles again, and they all chuckle too (even Eddie, his shoulder’s bouncing tiredly).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a craving for food and it's really not okay because I feel like I've been eating all day. I should be sleep, but seeing as I have no school nor a job (unfortunately) to worry about at the moment-- don't worry, I'm not fired, I just work at a daycare and y'know, with everyone being at home numbers are low so a lot of employees are off payroll-- I have no reason to go to sleep early. So, I stayed up late to finish this. I'll probably take a quick nap and wake up later to start the next chapter because sleep is for the weak! Jk. Anywho.
> 
> Warnings include birth giving (I don't know if that's triggering but I'm gonna put it there anyway, also it's not that descriptive because I in no way have any experience with such things, I am holy child, not on my Christian v-card server lmao), flatlining, murder/accidental death. Let me know if I need to include anything else.
> 
> Remember kids, don't commit crimes, and enjoy.

“No.”

TK moves through the dining room and into the kitchen to escape Owen’s disapproving sigh. His dad follows him quickly, grasping his shoulder firmly to turn TK back around.

“Hey, what did I tell you before we left?”

“Seriously, dad?” TK jerks, removing his arm from his dad’s grasp and moving to the door to head outside. A new dark grey SUV rests in the driveway of the rental home they’re staying in. The keys in TK’s hands jingle as he moves towards it. “I plan to spend my time with Chim, since he’s got nothing better to do.”

“I told you that I wanted therapy twice a week.”

“For my drug abuse, dad. Not to talk about my run-in with Doug. I don’t need therapy for that. If anyone needs therapy, it’s Maddie and Chim, and _neither_ are doing such.”

“They’re adults—”

“ _I’m_ an adult!”

“And you’re living under my supervision for now cause clearly you can handle acting like one.”

The two are taken aback by the explosion. No, not Owen’s figurative explosion. An actual, fiery explosion followed by an alarming _boom!_.

“Jesus!” TK swears, instantly pulling out his phone and dialing. He frowns at the surprising familiar tone that immediately sounds out when he hits the call button.

_ “You have reached a number that has not been serviced. If you feel you have reached this number in error, please check the number and try again.” _

TK’s eyes widen tremendously, and Owen frowns at the expression. “What? What’s wrong?”

“9-1-1 is apparently out of service.”

///////

“What!?” Buck can’t take it anymore. Eddie’s been stealing glances for the past three minutes, overall making Buck feel very self-conscious. It’s driving him insane. “Is there a bug on me or something?”

“That’s the seventh banana you’re about to have.” It’s not a question. It’s an observation stated as a fact because it really is Buck’s seventh banana.

“Maybe I really like bananas, Eddie, is that a problem?” Buck then proceeds to pointedly peel the banana and slowly slide the banana in his mouth—the way he’s been doing for the past six bananas—all while keeping an intense gaze on Eddie.

Eddie clears his throat and opens his mouth to say something when the bell goes off, and it almost looks as though the man is relieved as the two follow Hen and Bobby down the stairs and towards the engine.

He almost thinks he heard him even mumble something about being saved by the bell.

“Okay, everybody!” Bobby calls out as everyone rushes about, gearing up and climbing into the engines. “We’re in tactical emergency mode! That means we will not be at the station today; we will be driving all around the district to make sure that we are ready for anything that comes our way.”

“Cap,” Hen says with a smile as Eddie opens the door, sparing one more glance at Buck ( _is he. . . blushing!?_ ) before climbing in. “You do realize we work here, right? We’re trained professionals, not fifth graders.”

“Yeah, right.” Buck scoffs before casting Hen a pointed look as she tries to climb in before him. She backs up with a smirk as Buck slides himself into the seat across from Eddie, his knee knocking against Eddie’s as Hen climbs in last and closes the door.

*****

_ “118, engine and rescue, please report your location.” _

_ “We’re on Granville. Approaching Miracle Mile district from the west.” _

_ “Please proceed to 9590 Hilcrest. Off-street is Meadows. Vehicle collided with fifty-eight-year-old cyclist. Male.” _

_ “Copy. 118, Battalion 7 en route.” _

*****

By the time the engine rolls to a stop, Buck is halfway out the truck before he shakes his head, guiding Eddie back inside much to the confusion of the others as he closes the door.

“I saw Athena, along with another station.”

And just to prove his point, Bobby’s voice sounds on the radios not a second later.

_ “Dispatch, this is 118. 122 is already on the scene.” _

Eddie chuckles with a shake of his head as Hen hums in understanding.

“It’s going to be a long day.”

///////

“Yeah! Hey! What’s up!” TK breathes out as he and Owen jog up and down the streets, trying to locate the source of the explosions. It’s the firefighter in them, to head towards the danger. He looks back to frown worryingly as his coughs a few times before continuing behind TK. “Come on, dad!”

_ “Dude! You won’t believe what is going on!” _

“9-1-1 is down and first responders are in tactical emergency mode?”

_ “. . . Yeah. How did you. . ? You saw it on the news, too?” _

TK sucks in a breath as he stops to figure out which street to run down next. “Not exactly.”

_ “Dude, you’re kidding me. Maddie’s day is exciting. Now your day is exciting, too? Why is it when I can’t do anything is when all the action happens?” _

“I mean, you could help me out. Some part of this subdivision is going up in flames, and it’s so freaking big. You think you could be a guide for Owen and I so we can see who needs help cause I have yet to hear any sirens near the area.”

_ “Absolutely! Anything. Mr. Technical-Behind-the-Scenes-Guy is ready for action.” _

TK chuckles at Chim, waiting a few more seconds before taking the road Chim suggests.

///////

_ “Engine 118, Rescue 118, report to 550 San Vicente. Woman in labor, geriatric pregnancy, contractions very close.” _

_ “Copy that. 118 en route to 550 San Vicente.” _

///////

_ “Dispatch, this is 118. There is nothing here.” _

_ “No pregnant woman?” _

_ “There’s no building. It’s an empty lot.” _

_ “Stand-by 118.” “118, you’re gonna need to proceed to San Vicente **east** of the Miracle Mile district, nearest cross street 6.” _

_ “Copy that.” _

///////

“Where the hell have you guys been?” Is the very understanding response the husband gives as Bobby, Hen, Buck, and Eddie come parading around the corner.

“We’re fighting a system outage, sir. We apologize for the delay. Hen, you’re up. Eddie, start fluids.”

“Woah! Woah! Woah! We can’t just have the baby here in the lobby! That’s not how this is supposed to happen.”

“Roger,” the woman says, grinding her teeth for a second before breathing out and locking her gaze with her husband. “This is pretty much the way it’s happened throughout human his. . . tory! Ugh!”

“Hey,” Hen says soothing, reaching forward as Bobby and Eddie work. Buck kneels across from Eddie, using the stethoscope to check her and the baby’s vitals. He shudders at the thought of his experience on the full moon. So many births all at once. “I’m Hen. What’s your name?”

“Sonya. . . thirty-nine weeks pregnant. . . thirty-eight years old. Which makes me. . . a geriatric pregnancy. God, I hate that word.”

“Word doesn’t matter,” Bobby responds with an amused smile. “You’re still gonna get a baby out of it.”

“I can’t believe I’m finally gonna meet him. Here! In the lobby.” She chuckles. Buck can’t tell if it’s from the stress or just the sheer fact that she’s having her baby in the middle of a building lobby.

“That’s alright,” Hen smiles, glancing up from in between her legs. “You’re doing great. Okay. Now on this next contraction, we’re gonna push. Okay, Sonya?”

Buck would be lying if he said he isn’t ecstatic, maybe just as ecstatic as Sonya. Maybe even more, judging by the way the smile just drops from her face.

“Sonya? Sonya!”

“There’s something wrong with the baby.”

“No, no, no, no. Your baby’s fine. You’ll be able to see for yourself in just a minute.”

“No.” They all frown at Sonya’s tear-stricken face. _Talk about a drastic mood swing._ “No. This is a mistake. All of it. Roger was right to panic. We can’t do this. I can’t. . . I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have this child.”

“No, no, no, no. No. No, no, no. Sonya, look at me. Sonya, look at me! Look at me! Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. All you gotta do is push. All you need to do. Push.” Sonya breathes deeply, nods and grips Eddie’s and Roger’s hands tight. “Push.”

Hen continues to encourage as Sonya grunts and groans. And Buck can’t help but smile brightly at the sound of a crying baby boy. Everyone smiles brightly at the baby boy. And that’s the problem.

Everyone’s focused on the newborn.

It isn’t until Hen moves to hand the baby to his mother is when the smiles fall. Sonya is lying still, no smile, no recognition of her surroundings at all. They four watch in concern as her eyes roll back into her head and Hen’s eyes widen tremendously.

“Hen,” her head snaps to Buck, glancing at his outstretched hands. “Hen, I got the baby.”

She hands him over, and when she’s sure he’s safe in Buck’s hold, her attention is solely on the mother. “Sonya? Sonya!”

Roger looks between the two, eyebrows furrowed in worry. “What’s happening?”

“It’s okay,” Buck starts as he gestures for Roger to stand, moving along with him so Eddie can replace Buck’s spot. 

“What’s happening?”

“Roger, Roger, Roger. Roger.”

“Wha—”

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Listen, she is in good hands. Okay? Right now, he needs you most.” Buck moves the boy from his arms to Roger’s, wiping his forehead a little.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

“You’re wife has gone into shock.”

“I lost her pulse.” Eddie calls.

_ Lo siento, mi corazón. _

“She’s in cardiac arrest.”

The only consolation for Buck is the loud cries of the baby boy in Roger’s arms.

“I’m starting compressions.”

“Okay! Let’s get her transported to LA General. Now.”

“Hey, Cap, we’re gonna need another ambulance for the baby.”

Bobby nods, grabbing his radio. “Dispatch, this is engine 118.”

_ “Stand-by 118.” _

“Yeah, no more standing by,” Bobby says with a shake of his head. “Guys, get her on the gurney. Let’s go!”

*****

Behind the engine is the ambulance. As for Roger and the baby boy, they’re both sidled next to Buck in the engine. He’s leaned in close, more than he realizes. He doubts if Roger minds, however, because Buck is sure the man would’ve told him to get off his shoulder by now. 

Maybe he needs the consoling.

Buck sure as hell knows he needed it back then. 

Especially now.

By the time they’ve approached the ambulance, Buck can tell from the solemn faces of those standing around the open ambulance doors that the answer to Roger’s question regarding Sonya is one he definitely doesn’t want to hear.

“Guys,” Bobby says to the paramedics beginning to wheel Sonya through the doors. They stop at Bobby’s pointed look. Roger looks to Bobby with worry, and Buck can see the pain, can feel it himself.

“What’s wrong.”

Bobby sighs, collecting himself so he can robotically say, “I am so sorry.”

Buck turns, sees Hen—broken down with tears—and looks down himself. He’s gotta blink a few times just to stay in the now, no matter how much he doesn’t want to watch Roger painfully tell his wife goodbye. For the little boy—unnamed and unaware of the sadness of the situation he’s in—to have to say goodbye to a mother he didn’t get to meet without understanding that he’s saying goodbye.

Eddie’s gaze moves to him when Roger places the baby boy on Sonya. So, of course, Eddie catches Buck’s pained expression because Buck is reliving that day. When he situated Aimée in Selina’s arms and lied there for as long as he was given.

Eddie’s eyes move down and up his face and Buck let’s his eyes fall onto the ground, attempting to hold back his tears. Everyone’s so solemn that the first beep goes right over their heads. By the second, everyone’s eyes snap up in surprise, right at Sonya.

Eddie moves forward, places his fingers against her neck, and looks up at Hen. “She’s got a pulse.”

And just like Sonya, everyone is lively. The doctors move forward instantly, rolling Sonya through the doors alongside Roger and her baby boy. Roger pauses, turns back, his gaze locking with Hen.

“Thank you.”

And it’s all Hen needs before she’s breaking down, sitting back against the ambulance as Bobby and Buck rub her back soothingly.

“That was. . . amazing.” Eddie says, still looking to where the group had disappeared beyond the hospital doors.

“No, that was a miracle.” Buck smiles brightly, his eyes roaming the side of Eddie’s face. Eddie turns, eyes catching Buck’s, a small smile working a way onto his face. He gives Eddie one more smile before turning back to Hen to hide the heat creeping on his face at the feel of Eddie’s hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

///////

“OH!” TK calls, lowering his phone from his ear as he and Owen rush forward. “Dad, I got her! There’s a few more people down the street!”

Owen rushes down the block as TK moves to the woman climbing out of her car that just collided into a firehydrant.

“Ma’am! Ma’am!” She’s soaked and shaking, blood leaking from her head and nose as she stands and takes in the chaos happening. “Hey! Are you okay? Look at me. I’m a firefighter, okay? Let me check you out.”

He brings the phone back to his ear as he guides her to a dry area to sit down.

_ “TYLER KENNEDY STRAND!” _

“I know you didn’t just use my full name, Howard Middle Name Han,” TK says as he tenderly presses along her head to see just where the pain is. “Hey, I’m at the carnage—”

_ “I know. You’re on the news, right now. Can you hear anyone coming?” _

“Nah, no sirens at all. Call Buck. Someone needs to get down here now!” 

*****

_ “Yeah, Buck. Where are you guys?”  _ Chim starts the moment Buck answers his call.

“Uh. . .” Eddie raises an eyebrow at him as he leans to look out the window at the street signs. “We are crossing Robertson for the three-hundred and twentieth time.”

_ “Get over to Doheny Park, man. The whole damn neighborhood’s on fire. Look’s like it’s a gas-main break.” _

Buck frowns, wondering why he hadn’t heard anything from dispatch. “You heard it on the radio?”

_ “No, I’m watching it on the news right now. Nobody’s over there, Buck. Not a single unit. Just TK and Owen.” _

“TK and Owen? The hell are they doing there?”

_ “They’re staying in the area, Buck. They hear explosions, their daily job is being a firefighter. Do the math.” _

Buck nods, then ends the call with an _Alright!_ when he realized Chim couldn’t see him and set his phone down to hurriedly place his headphones back on his head.

“Hey, Cap! Uh, Doheny Park is going up in flames. Chim thinks it’s a gas-main break. We’re close, right?”

“Close enough. Let’s do it.”

*****

“Dispatch, this is Captain 118. We’re at Doheny Park. Multiple residents with structural fire, send everything you can.”

_ “Copy that 118. Trying to find additional resources for you, but you might be on your own for the next fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.” _

“Copy that.” When the engine stops, a man rushes up, banging against the window. 

“Help! You gotta help me! My son! He’s trapped upstairs!” The man points to the house going up in flames, and Bobby, Buck, and Eddie squint at the house before Eddie points to a window.

“Cap! I see him! Upstairs window!”

Another burst of flames startles everyone, and the man and a smaller girl rush forward, only to be stopped by another firefighter.

“Alright, get the ladder up to the house.” Bobby says, and Buck moves instantly, rushing towards the ladder truck and stumbling a bit.

“Ty?”

TK turns, jogging forward and meeting Buck right by the truck. “Hey. I know I can’t do much, but what do you need?”

“Move the ladder for me. Where’s dad?”

“Helping out with a few injured, mainly away from as much smoke as possible. He seems to have a bad cough at the moment so when the smoke started getting heavier I convinced him to stay back with a few of the injured.”

Buck nods, hopping onto the side of the truck as TK climbs behind the wheel. When the truck stops, he quickly climbs to the top and onto the ladder, holding on tightly as it moves closer and closer to the house. Buck looks up, and through the smoke he can see a window on the side of the house, and the kid inside banging against the glass for help.

“We got you big guy!” 

“Help!” the boy yells through a hole in the glass.

“I just need you to hold on. Okay? I’m coming for you!” When he’s right at the window, he stables himself as he tries to figure out how he’s gonna get the kid. “I told you everything’s gonna be fine.”

The kid reaches out and Buck reaches out as well. He frowns at the groan that comes not from him or the boy, but the ladder.

_ Shit. _

That’s the last thing he can honestly think as the ladder gives way and he falls. The scariest thing to happen to him would be this. Feeling as though he’s about to go flying to his death, or at least a very painfully crash landing that would result in excruciating bone breaks. If it weren’t for his tight grip on the handle, it probably would’ve happened.

He looks down and drops the few feet he is from the ground. Bobby is there looking him over instantly. He nods his head and moves away from the house along with Bobby, eyes searching for—

“Woah, hey, Ed! Eddie!” There’s his friend alright, climbing the storm drain up to the roof of the house. “Eddie, what are you doing?”

He reaches the top safely, and Buck shakes his head. “I feel like if I ever did that you would yell at me.”

He can feel the small smile Bobby keeps at bay. He watches Eddie walk across the roof, right up to the window. Surprisingly, of all things he thought he’d feel, he didn’t expect to be overcome with nerves. Especially when Eddie disappears through the window.

_ “Cap, I got him! Alive, but unconscious!” _

Nerves. He blames the nerves for the reason that he can’t fully understand what Hen is saying. To make matters worse, another burst of flames licks at the walls of the house, with the kid and Eddie still inside.

_ “Cap, negative on evac! Pinned down, south side of the house!” _

Stress and anxiety. Buck thinks back to the earthquake. Yeah. Buck is definitely going to sock Eddie when he gets them from the burning house. He’s really gonna give the man a shiner, right on that pretty face.

He moves quickly back to climb the ladder truck, shouting as he does so, but mainly keeping one thing in his mind.

“I can make that jump, I can help Eddie!”

“Hey, Bobby!” TK calls as Buck begins climbing the ladder, looking out in the distance. “What the heck is that?”

Bobby squints, calling for Buck to wait as he studies the approaching figure in the sky. The firefighters watch as it draws closer, and Buck jumps in surprise at Owen’s voice. He almost didn’t recognize him standing amongst all the residents.

“Hey, Bobby! Looks like we should start taking cover!”

And Buck doesn’t understand at first until he finally gets a better look at the approaching figure and hops down from the top of the ladder truck as Bobby calls for everyone to take cover.

217 is in bound.

“TY!” He pulls TK quickly under the ladder truck, and a moment later there’s tons of water raining down upon them at a force strong enough to severely injure a person.

“Awesome!” TK yells over the roar of water. Buck shakes his head and waits for the water to stop pouring before climbing out along with everyone else.

“Eddie, do you copy?” Bobby says into his radio. They wait and Buck rushes forward the moment Eddie kicks down the door, carrying the kid bridal style. He sets the kid down on the gurney and they all smile when a second later, the kid is coughing. Alive.

And while everyone’s smiling and celebrating, Buck lands three good punches to Eddie’s arm. But surprisingly, Eddie looks up at him with a smile, eyes twinkling understandingly. He nudges his shoulder against Buck’s, bounces his eyebrows, and Buck shakes his head with a scoff.

“You’re lucky I like you. Now,” Buck reaches a hand across Eddie’s shoulder, shaking him. “What’s up with the Spider-Man routine?”

“I don’t know, I just did it. And prayed a lot.”

“Well, it looks like someone listened.”

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

///////

“I wanted one more day. One more day!”

“So you decided to climb out through the window like a pubescent teenage boy sneaking off to a party.” 

“Shut up, Buck. We all know you would’ve done the same thing.”

“You do seem like the type to do something like that, Buck.”

“You wound me Eddie.”

“I try.”

TK chuckles as Buck pouts, to which Eddie rolls his eyes as he climbs out of the engine to follow Bobby and the others into the bank. Buck stops following others at the sound of banging and looks up at the guy sitting in the money truck.

“Hey! Can you tell me what’s happening?”

“Don’t know, sir. Just got here.”

“I can see that. Do you know what the call was?”

“Two people down in the bank.”

“Down? Like dead, down?” Jesus. Buck just wants to join the rest of the team. “Injured down? Depressed down? My partner’s in there.”

“Was your partner exhibiting any kind of symptoms, of anything, before entering the bank?”

“No. . ?”

“Does he have any allergies or medical conditions?”

“No! He eats better than I do. He’s pescatarian.”

“Okay, well, uh. . . you just. . . sit tight.” Buck rushes off, cringing inside as his mind rethinks the fact that he told the guy literally locked inside a truck to sit tight as if he could go anywhere else.

*****

By the time Buck enters the bank, Chim and TK are kneeling over one of the victims. He joins them, mainly because he has no clue where Bobby, Eddie, and Hen are. And he was ready to help, of course, when Bobby and Eddie come marching from the back.

“Okay, everybody stop what you’re doing right now.”

_ Um. . . what? _

“Chimney, Buck, TK.” The three look up from where they were tending to the man with confusion, eyebrows furrowed as Bobby gives them a pointed look. “Step away.”

He glances to Eddie, also sporting the same pointed look, before setting the IV bag down, and stepping away from the man. Chim and TK do the same.

“I need everybody’s attention. We are now preparing for a possible chemical exposure incident. That means nobody in, nobody out.” His head turns at the sounds of a ringing, and Eddie’s first to go sprinting back towards the vault, calling out Hen’s name. Bobby follows, and after a moment, Buck frowns and also jogs towards the back, where he sees now that the vault door has closed. Eddie and Bobby stand in front of it, but as for Hen and the other victim. . . they’re trapped inside.

And if the tensions weren’t already high enough, a moment later—from where they can see on the camera footage of inside the vault—Hen begins to stumble. Foams bubbles up and over her lip before her eyes roll up and she collapses onto the floor.

She’s now become victim number three to whatever chemical exposure they’re preparing for.

~~

Hours. It’s been hours. They’ve killed the power, drilled a hole into the steel vault door to allow oxygen tubes in for the two inside to breathe. And now, Buck’s outside alongside Eddie and Bobby, with Chim and TK inside to keep watch on Hen and the victim.

Buck is frustrated. Frustrated and worried about Hen, who still lies unconscious inside a bank vault from possible chemical exposure. The same chemical exposure from which the first victim unfortunately died from. And he’s put all that frustration and worry into trying to tear the wall down. So, when the winch attached to the truck failed to successfully tear the wall down, Buck was storming towards the engine, warning Bobby and Eddie to steer clear as he hops behind the driver’s seat.

Hen and no one else for that matter is going to be dying. Not if Buck can do anything about it.

He inches the engine back carefully, watching with a swell of pleasure as the cracks in the wall grow until a good chunk of the wall tears free. Eddie and Bobby rush forward. Buck does the same after shifting the engine back into park. And from his perfect view, he can see Chim and TK checking over the two, having gotten into the vault through the now open door.

TK waves, and if he weren’t wearing that hazmat suit, Buck would bet all of his money that he would see a smile on his face. “Hey, guys.”

Buck rolls his eyes in irritation, mainly at the door. “Seriously?”

~~

“I don’t get it,” Chim shakes his head as Eddie and Bobby close the doors to the ambulance with Hen inside. “She doesn’t appear to be symptomatic anymore. Bank manager was up and talking, too.”

“Because it wasn’t a nerve agent.”

“Chief said all the tests came back negative. No environmental toxins whatsoever.”

TK frowns, looking at Bobby incredulously. “Then what the hell was it?”

“No idea.”

“’Least this guy was finally able to get out of here,” Buck says, patting the window of the now empty money truck.

///////

“So, that might be the weirdest day I’ve had since joining the LAFD and we have had a few,” Buck exclaims as he jumps out of the engine, stretching his joints.

“Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks so,” TK says as he follows Buck, groaning at the sight of his dad. “Oh. Hey.”

“Can’t wait to hear about the weird call you just went on. You can tell me all the details on the road. What’s the gist, though?”

“It was like a bank robbery with no robbers,” Eddie says, chuckling. All six men—Bobby, Owen, Chimney, Eddie, Buck, and TK—turn at the sound of sirens, eyebrows raised as cruisers screech to a halt at the entrance of the station.

“Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any weirder,” TK mumbles as a man dressed in a nice suit steps out of the car, ordering the group to step away from the engine.

They frown and step aside as officers pass them, moving to the engine’s compartments.

“Can I help you detective?”

“You and your people just stay where we can see you, Cap.”

Bobby’s growing frustrated at being kept in the dark, Buck can see it on his face as the officers drop their duffel bags onto the ground and begin unzipping them.

“Excuse me, wanna tell me what’s going on?”

One officer, after successfully unzipping the duffel bag, lifts the bag up, turning it and dumping all of its contents onto the floor for the firefighters to see, much to their surprise.

“Holy shit.” TK mutters, eyes wide.

The detective cocks an eyebrow at the men, his accusing gaze sweeping over all of them. “Maybe you can tell me.”

Buck honestly can’t. He wouldn’t be able to even explain it in the simplest of terms why racks upon racks of money had managed to be stashed away in their duffel bags, on their engine, to end up on the floor of their station.

No.

Fucking.

Clue.

///////

He hates it. The quiet. The sound of the door. The smug looks of the detectives. The way the atmosphere makes him nervous. The smug looks of the detectives. The feeling of being watched by more people from behind that two-way mirror. The smug looks of the detectives. God, he hates their smugness.

He’d smack it right off their faces if it wouldn’t land him in even more trouble than he already is. . . is he? He’s not in trouble, right?

“Three hundred thousand dollars.” That’s what the woman starts off with as she and the detective he met earlier sit across from him, sliding files onto the table. Buck glances at the files, whistles at the sound of how much money was taken, lets it die early from the pointed look the woman gives him. Not a good time.

“Tucked away on the 118 ladder truck.” The man finishes. “Any idea how it got there?”

Buck can’t do more than shrug innocently. How did it get there? How would he even know? He was too busy trying to save his friend’s life.

“Are you sure?” Back to the woman. He was hoping this was a ‘good cop, bad cop’ charade that they always do in the movies. From her clipped tone, Buck deduces that it’s ‘bad cop, and worse cop’. Now to figure out who’s who. “You’re with the 118. And you were at the bank when it was stolen.”

_ No shit sherlock.  _ Buck bites his tongue, swallows down the urgent need to verbally attack the detectives. . . God, does he hate their smugness. “What do you expect? To say no to dispatch when they gave us this call? ‘Sorry, no can do. Wouldn’t want to be framed for a robbery. Better to just let them walk off whatever sickness made them foam at the mouth and collapse’.”

Maybe he should’ve just stuck with _no shit sherlock_.

“I just find it intriguing is all.” Buck’s eyes shift back to the woman. “Your sister, Madeline, took the call. Just after she sent you a text. ‘Looks like our money trouble is over.’ That’s the text your sister sent you right after she took the 9-1-1 call. You care to explain?”

Yeah. That looks bad. “Her landlord finally agreed to let her out of her lease and refund her security deposit. He’d been giving her some grief about it.”

*****

_ “Still nothing from the landlord?” Buck asks as he climbs into the driver’s seat, Maddie texting away in the passenger’s seat. _

_ “Not since he said he had to consult his lawyers.” She glances up from her phone long enough to take in the bag full of party decorations. “What’s all that?” _

_ “Decorations for Chimney’s Welcome Back party. Hen is insisting, don’t know why. Chimney said he didn’t want anyone to make a big deal.” _

_ “I really hope he has a great first day back.” _

_ “You want me to tell him that?” _

_ “No.” _

*****

“Your sister happens to favor your station a lot.”

“That’s because I’m her favorite brother. Don’t tell TK.”

“And by TK, I assume you mean your half-brother, Tyler Kennedy Strand.” The man cocks an eyebrow accusingly. “Sometime during the heist, your step-father sent Tyler a text. ‘Be ready to go when you get back.’ They reside in New York. Was the plan to come here, commit the heist, and then take off with their share of the money?”

“What? No. TK and Owen planned to leave earlier that day, but TK snuck out to work one more day with us, so Owen packed everything up and planned to meet TK at the station so they could hit the road right when TK got back. They’re moving to Texas.”

“And why was Tyler so adamant on working this particular day?”

“He obviously was put on bed rest for the incident that occurred with Maddie’s abusive ex. He just wanted to work one more call with us before he had to go. Our team is a family.”

“Are you though? Can you trust your so-called ‘family’?” That damn smug smile. “Truth is, you don’t know the people you work with. Such as your Captain, who was quick to suggest tearing down a wall to get inside a bank.”

“I trust his gut.” Buck says steadily, with confidence. “So, when he said we needed to get into that vault, yeah I believed him.”

“What about your friend? Firefighter Wilson?”

“What about her?”

“She ran into that vault under the assumption that there was a chemical nerve agent present. Why?”

“She’s a trained paramedic. She’s not just gonna leave a helpless man trapped inside a vault. Helping people is something she does. No explanation needed.”

“Or. . .” the detective slides a couple of photos in front of Buck, gauging his reaction. “She was a distraction. So one of your friends can do a different kind of job.”

Buck looks at the photos in confusion. The man he doesn’t recognize, dressed in their hazmat suit. Ushering another man. “The armored car driver? I thought he couldn’t leave the truck.”

“So you say. But the distraction served well for your friend there to lure the driver away from the truck in order to take the money and stash it away in your engines.”

“Wait, so the money. . . came from the truck and not the bank? But we were all at the bank. Everyone on our team was focused on the call. . .” Buck sighs, drags a hand down his face as he studies the photo. He sets it down and shakes his head with his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m so confused. Can you start over?”

///////

Buck can say without a doubt that he hates law enforcement at the moment, Athena, of course, being the sole exception. He especially hates the douche bags tossing his belongings onto the grass as though they have no value. And he’s very, very, very, very. . . very, very, very close to wanting to punch the guy tossing everything out of his Jeep. Very close indeed.

“They’re tossing the apartment,” Maddie says as she approaches with a sigh. “So much for the security deposit.”

“Calling a lawyer?” He asks as he glances at her pulling out her phone. He could use one. First, to argue his case against the asshat disrespecting his property. Then, to argue the case of why he left a shiner on both eyes from his pent-up frustration while also slapping a detective. Because after throwing some hands at the douchebag emptying his car, he’s going to hunt down the detective who thinks it’s satisfying to fuck with people, and truly smack the smile right off of his face.

“Ordering an Uber. I still have to work today.” She glances down at her baby brother. “You look like a kicked puppy.”

“I’m not a kicked puppy,” Buck scowls, glaring daggers at the guy who begins to step away from his Jeep. He stands, menacingly, pointedly glancing between him and his scattered belongings. The guy surprisingly gets the message, turning around and asking for assistance to put Buck’s belongings back inside his Jeep. “This puppy, though, is going to seriously kick the fuck out of whoever decided to frame me and my team for a bank robbery.”

///////

“Most interesting call ever.” TK states as he pulls Buck in for a hug.

“I just wish it didn’t result in our stuff being tossed about like it was nothing.”

“Yeah, they’re lucky they didn’t damage anything or I definitely would’ve started a fight.”

Buck chuckles. They’re so alike. “I’m gonna miss you, TK.”

“Hey, look on the bright side! I’m a closer drive than I was before.”

“Hey,” Owen says, closing the trunk. “Did they ever find out who truly robbed the bank?”

“Actually,” Buck says, a smile close to sinister spreading among his face. “Hen has some exciting news. So, enjoy your road trip. The 118 have a bank robber to catch.”

///////

The door to the ladder truck pops open. Chim smiles sweetly at the repair man. “Hey, Marty. Thanks for coming.”

Marty startles, a flash of nervousness skirting across his features. “Hey. Yeah. I heard you guys were having trouble with the ladder. Starting to think you guys don’t know how to use it.”

“Well,” Eddie says with a shake of his head as opens the door to the engine, wiping his hands with a clean rag. “You know how we operate. All our procedures and protocols.”

“But maybe you could show us some tricks.” Buck strides to a stop right by the door Eddie leans out of, cocking his eyebrow at Marty. Bobby’s on Buck’s other side.

“Yeah. You seem to know more about these trucks than we do. Like where to hide three hundred thousand dollars in cash.”

Marty chuckles nervously, eyes dancing from face to face. “What are you guys talking about?”

“How’re your hands, Marty?” Hen asks, and Marty turns to face her. “That alternative medicine still working?”

He looks from face to face, eyes growing wide at everyone’s accusing glare. He drops the tool bag and sprints, not that he would get anywhere.

“Marty Collins,” the detective states, holding up his badge as he and the other detective stroll right into his path. He skids to a stop in defeat. “You’re under arrest for bank robbery and murder.”

And surprisingly, Marty has the audacity to look surprised. “Murder? Who’d I kill?”

///////

“So, let’s see if I got this right,” Buck says as he takes a seat next to Hen and across from Eddie at the table. “The fake nerve agent attack was a distraction for the armored car robbery. . . which was a distraction for the diamond heist.”

Because as if this case hadn’t been weird enough, Hen had relayed the information of how, the next day, when she and Athena went back to look over the crime scene, the bank attendee had stumbled upon a box of missing diamonds.

He frowns with a shake of his head, amusing the others at the table. “Crime is hard.”

“Franklin knew the bank, and Marty knew us.”

“But how’d they know each other?”

“Brothers-in-law. Well, _ex_ brothers-in-law. Franklin had been married to Marty’s crazy sister. And when they ran into each other again, a plan formed. Franklin was the inside man. His job was to create a medical emergency in the bank. The kind that would trigger a hazmat response because Marty knew that we’d have to seal the perimeter to execute the Big Board Protocol. He gets the driver to leave the truck, empty all his pockets, and while the driver gets clean, Marty gets rich. Except, how’s he gonna get all that money out of there? Can’t just walk it off the scene. He needed a mule. Or. . . a team of mules. Us.”

“Not a bad plan. I mean, it’s crazy, but it could’ve worked. We bring the money back here and all he has to do is wait for the right moment, sneak in, access the ladder truck, and retrieve the money. Except there wasn’t any because the police had already beaten him to the punch.”

“But how’d the police know exactly where to find the money?”

“Cause there was one variable that Marty didn’t count on: the double-cross. See, Marty may have known everything there is to know about LAFD protocol, but Franklin knew about the bank. He knew what was in that vault, he could steal those diamonds with his eyes closed. See, Marty’s plan was simple; but Franklin’s was more time sensitive. So, he told Marty the best day to rob the armored car would be his last day. He knew there’d be a party at the end of day, at the close of business. He’d start with Marty’s plan, but then he improvised. Franklin made sure he’d collapse inside the vault. He knew what our response would be. Then all he had to do was wait for the vault to automatically close then he’d have hours inside that vault while we ran our rescue protocols. It was a meticulous plan. But, there was an unexpected complication.”

“Me. He was supposed to be in there alone. So me running in there to save his sorry ass? A complication. He had to take me out, too. But now he’s playing ‘beat the clock’. Soon as the cameras couldn’t see, Franklin swiped six million in stones and waited to be saved. He had the stones, all he needed was a clean get away. He sends the police after us. So, while the police are investigating us, he can flee the country. New name, new passport, new life.”

“He just wasn’t fast enough.”

“Marty knew he’d been double-crossed.”

“He goes to confront Franklin.”

“So, Marty killed Franklin.” Everyone nods, going back to the plates, but Buck can’t. He’s still confused. “But Hen, you guys found Franklin.”

“Yes.”

“And Marty didn’t have the diamonds.” They all stop eating, frowns of thought on each face.

“So, if Franklin didn’t have the diamonds, and Marty doesn’t have the diamonds. Then, where are the diamonds?”

. . . .

Crime _is_ hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me tell y'all, it's been quite the week. My fingers are doing okay, though there's now a bit of outer layer skin missing from my thumb (I promise y'all it is neither as gross or painful as it sounds). It looks weird, like I'm missing a section of my fingerprint.
> 
> My dad's a stubborn old man. We had to escort him to the ER, but he refuses to stay at the hospital, so now he's back home, complaining about his pains because he didn't want to stay to have the tests done on him. On top of that, he's eating stuff he's not supposed to be eating and drinking way too much. *sigh* When will these kids learn?
> 
> In brighter news, I've rid my backyard of those retched frogs that were keeping me up late at night. There were at least two different species out there having a party every night and annoying the heck out of me. But not anymore. 
> 
> Also, I've run out of good things to watch, so I need suggestions. Hulu, Netflix, D+, lay it on me. I shall add it too my list of shows I'm currently binging. Supernatural, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Community. Am I really watching these all at the same time? Yes. Yes I am.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter by far, which took me forever to write because I kept CRYING like a baby going through these last two episodes. I don't care how many times I watch it, it'll get me every time. I say farewell to Ali, you were nice but I'm so glad you're gone (I mean that in the nicest way possible). I'm READY for the next phase of this story where the canon is going to diverge greatly.
> 
> That being said, warnings include attempted suicide, character death, bomb threats, near death experience. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to torture myself by watching these episodes yet again.

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “A man just jumped out of a building and landed on my car!” _

_ “What is your location, ma’am?” _

_ “On the corner of Fourth and Ma—wait a minute. . . Oh my god! He’s alive! He’s alive!” _

///////

Athena shakes her head as she and Hen approach the rest of them. “. . . Falls twenty stories and lives.”

There’s one word for that. _Damn_. “Twenty stories? How is that even possible?”

“We also got a few greedy bystanders with minor injuries, not sure how you wanna handle those.”

“That’s up to the Cap,” Hen responds dryly just as the Captain’s truck squeals to a stop. The driver’s door pops open, and Chim climbs out with confidence.

“Ah, _Interim_ Cap,” Buck calls out immediately, glancing around at his teammates as though he’s trying to remind everyone of that fact. . . which he is. Bobby’s coming back, he better come back. Not that he doesn’t like Chim, but. . . Bobby is his Cap. This is just one more thing he can blame Marty for, seeing as Bobby has been benched because he’s under investigation for the officers finding something whilst doing their ridiculous search for the diamonds. Buck couldn’t give a rat’s ass what they found, though. He wants Bobby, his Cap, back. “This is just temporary until Bobby comes back.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Buck,” Chim shoots back, glancing from up at the twentieth floor to the man groaning from his spot through the broken back window of the car. “Woah. Alright, I’ll take spinal precaution.” He rushes forward, sets the medical bag down, begins unzipping, and looks back up to the team who has yet to move. Buck cocks his head as if Chim’s just proven his point. “Right, I’m the Captain. Uh. . . Hen, Eddie, you’re with him. Buck, you’re with John. Triage the minor injuries. And I’ll get the jaws.”

_ It’s only temporary. _

_ It’s only temporary. _

_ It’s only temporary. _

///////

The door opens just a moment after Buck’s insistent knocking and Bobby cocks an eyebrow as he barely gets out a _Hey!_ before Buck is rushing through the door and into Bobby’s humble home.

“Hey. Am I bothering you? Y- you would tell me if I’m bothering you, right?”

“No, you’re not bothering me,” Bobby says as he studies Buck with confusion.

“Okay, good! Um. . . when are you coming back?”

“I don’t know Buck. I might not be.”

“That’s unacceptable!” Extremely. Buck knows this man doesn’t just think he can leave Chimney in charge forever (no offence to Chim, of course). “We need to get you unsuspended. Maybe I can talk to the chief, y’know? Testify on your behalf. That would help, right?”

“Uh, you might get suspended, too.”

“Look, we need you back, Bobby. The place doesn’t work without you.”

“Buck, it’s been two shifts. I thought by having Chimney be in charge, it’d be easier on all of you. He’s your friend.”

“Yeah, Chimney is my friend. Interim Captain Han. . . he’s a monster.” Line-ups. No time to relax and chill with friends. Constantly haggling Buck as though he’s still Buck 1.0, which he’s not. Frankly, Interim Captain Han has got a very rigid stick up his ass. And he’s turning the place into something resembling the military.

Buck hates it.

And he loves Chim.

But Interim Captain Han has got to go.

///////

“Buck?” Eddie’s cocking an eyebrow as the one in question jerks forward, pulling Eddie further inside the sleeping area and shushing him profusely.

“Quiet, he’ll hear you!”

He can feel Eddie’s smile stretch from under his hand. It tickles when his hand vibrates from Eddie’s attempt to speak. When he’s sure they can’t be spotted from the main area, Buck lowers his hand, to which Eddie shakes his head in amusement.

“Are you hiding from Chim?”

“Hell yes! Interim Captain Han is out for my blood! I can’t live like this, Eds!”

“I’m sure you’ll manage.” Eddie situates himself against the wall, making himself comfortable right next to Buck. “So, just how long do you plan to hide out here?”

“As long as I can get away with,” Buck responds as a figure rounds the bed, startling the two. It’s not Chimney, however. It’s Hen.

“Oh, thank god! It’s only you two.”

“Yes, because Chim would be here, hiding out in the bunks,” Eddie snips with a smile as Buck follows with, “Hey, hey, hey! I had first pick! Find your own hiding spot!”

“Come on, Buck! This is really how you’re gonna treat your team?”

“It’s every man for himself!”

“Every man except Eddie?” Hen smiles as Eddie slumps sheepishly. Buck shakes his head.

“Me and Eddie? Package deal. This is my best friend. If he dies, I die, too.”

“Buck, we’re hiding from a power-hungry man, not playing a real-life scenario of Call of Duty. Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! That power-hungry maniac has it out for me! There’s no escape when he’s around.”

“The hell are you guys doing in here?”

“Damn it!”

“See what you’ve done Hen? We’ve been made!”

The bell rings out and Eddie and Buck scramble to their feet as the three rush out the sleeping area behind Chim, glad the bell rang before they had to explain why they were hiding out in the bunks.

///////

Buck’s not jealous. He’s not. He’s got Abby. . . Ali. He’s got Ali. And she’s a nice, caring, sweet girl. She’s beautiful. She’s funny. Her and Buck just fit together well. So, it doesn’t make sense for him to be jealous of Eddie’s call with Shannon. It really doesn’t.

Like Buck said before, Eddie’s his best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s time he started acting like a best friend.

“Woo, when’s the wedding?” Buck says because he can’t really think of anything better to say. He doesn’t really spend too much time look at Shannon’s face, it’s not like he hasn’t seen her before. Really, he’s mentally slapping himself. When’s the wedding? They’re already married, dumbass.

“We’re already married.” Even Eddie is echoing the small shred of common-sense lingering at the back of Buck’s mind. “Wait. . . we don’t have to get married again, do we?”

Would it be bad if Buck answered that with an immediate ‘no’? Maybe. He knows that isn’t the conversation he wants to have, however. “Talk to Bobby. Maybe he can get you guys a discount.”

Now he needs to find a new hiding spot. Away from Chim’s haggling as well as Eddie’s concerns of his relationship with Shannon, as selfish as that is.

///////

Buck opens the door wide to Maddie’s new apartment, startling at Eddie’s sad face on the other side. He frowns tremendously because that’s what he’s focused on. Buck honestly can’t remember, in the time he’s known Eddie, the last time Eddie ever looked so broken.

“She wants a divorce.”

Buck doesn’t have to ask what Eddie means. From the way Eddie’s all dressed up, he can tell the man just came from a date, straight from a date. He’s surprised Eddie came here instead of going home.

He steps to the side, opening the door wider for Eddie to enter begrudgingly. He walks right into the living room and stops, taking a look around before turning back to Buck as he closes the door and strides forward.

“I’m sorry I came unannounced.”

“It’s fine, Eddie.” Eddie’s a bit out of it, Buck can tell. He jumps when Buck hands him a beer bottle, and his eyes widen a bit. He must’ve missed the part when Buck had stepped into the kitchen. Or maybe he’s surprised that Buck knew he needed a drink without him asking for it.

“Thank you.” Eddie’s sentences are so short, that Buck’s worried that he’s shutting down. Maybe Eddie didn’t come here to talk, maybe he just wanted to be with someone. Who better than his best friend? They both move to the couch, both leaned back and focused on the fire mantle across from them. “I had prayed for a sign.”

_ A sign.  _ Buck remembers doing something similar. It hadn’t gone the way he expected, but he isn’t really complaining.

“She told me she was pregnant.”

The surprise hits Buck like a truck. His gaze moves from the mantle to Eddie, but he’s still solemnly looking ahead, not at Buck. The brokenness, it’s enough for Buck to make a conclusion about what Eddie’s about to tell him. He just might cry.

“Was?”

Eddie finally looks up to Buck, must see the tears welling in his eyes because he shakes his head quickly. “She wasn’t really. Just late.”

Buck nods, wipes the water from his eyes. No child lost. There was just no child.

“I thought that was my sign. That we were having another child. But we’re not. And she wants to leave. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do.” Eddie looks at Buck, eyes filled with desperation. “Did you know what to do? When Abby left?”

“Honestly, I asked for a sign while I was still with Abby. I was second guessing myself, trying to figure out if it was a relationship I needed. Abby left, and I was in denial that that was a sign that I needed to move on. But even I’m unsure if that is the meaning of that sign at all.”

“Why?”

“Cause I have moved on. I’m trying to see how things go with Ali but. . .” He moves his gaze from Eddie, though he still peeks at him from the corner of his eye. “It doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right. I think the sign is really telling me to stop following my head and start following my heart.”

Eddie nods, eyes looking all over Buck before finally focusing on his empty hands. “You’re not drinking anything?”

“One of us needs to be able to drive you home.” Eddie frowns, shifting nervously. Buck studies his movement, raising an eyebrow questioningly. “Unless. . . you want to stay for the night?”

Eddie nods. So, Buck let’s Eddie stay the night. He offers the man one of his joggers and a t-shirt. He pretends there isn’t a lick of nervousness and excitement in him as he situates himself on the couch placed by his bed, facing Eddie as Eddie faces him (from the spot on Buck’s bed, of course). He pretends he never noticed Eddie’s eyes travel up and down his bare torso (because he gets hot in the middle of the night and Eddie’s lucky Buck had enough decency to at least wear some joggers to sleep in).

But somewhere deep inside, Buck is also asking for another sign. That maybe, just maybe, Buck could have a chance. That maybe he should follow his heart and stop pining after the ones he doesn’t truly want.

He falls asleep that night across from Eddie, hoping for a sign that maybe this could blossom into something more.

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “A car just drove through a crowd of people at a crosswalk! It looks really bad!” _

_ “Where are you?” _

_ “Rose Avenue!” _

///////

Dread. The feeling had been stuck with him the moment he stepped foot inside the station. Something bad was going to happen, and Buck couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how hard he tried. He tried to pass it off as a feeling as though anything could go wrong at any moment during a call, that he faces this every day he comes to work. It’s a lie. There’s something about this particular day that doesn’t feel right.

It’s not until him and Eddie are checking up on the driver of the car that plowed through pedestrians that dread decides to show its ugly face. It’s the moment when Eddie is wrapping a neck brace on the driver when she asks about the lady she hit. The lady with a mop of dark brown hair that he’s seen before.

Shannon.

It’s Shannon lying on the ground.

His eyes widen, turn to Eddie who frowns at Buck’s bumbling as he tries to find the words. What can he say at that moment to alleviate the situation? Nothing. Not a single thing.

“Buck? What’s going on?”

He turns at Buck’s pained expression to Shannon. Buck sees the look of recognition, the stiffness as Eddie straight up neglects the driver he’s supposed to be tending to as he straightens and moves quickly.

“Eddie. . .” Eddie ignores him. Buck glances at the woman, silently trying to convey that he will be back, before hopping up and rushing to hold Eddie back. “Eddie! Eddie, wait!”

Eddie shoves Buck off. He makes it a few more steps before Chim is trying to hold him back. But there is no holding Eddie back. Not from this. Not from his wife. Not from the mother of his child. Not when she’s dying on the street.

Buck can see it in Chim’s expression.

She’s not just injured. This isn’t fixable.

Shannon’s dying. Shannon won’t make it.

He knows Shannon won’t make it, because Chim stops Hen from incubating Shannon, relaying something to Eddie before his friend climbs into the ambulance.

*****

Buck thought Eddie looked broken last night, standing at his door so sadly. That is nothing compared to now, watching Eddie come through the hospital doors holding Shannon’s bagged clothing as a tear rolls down his face.

He doesn’t look up at anyone as he slowly walks past the line of firefighters, stopping at the end to throw his arms around Bobby. 

He started his day with dread and it ends with solemn.

~~

He found him on the beach, shoulders heaving and head bobbing. Crying. Eddie is sobbing. 

He sets himself down, leaving some space in between the two of them. Eddie swipes at his eyes, shaking his head at Buck.

“Please. . .” He starts quietly. “Please don’t tell me how everything is going to be okay.”

Buck sighs, eyes focused of the sun setting on the horizon. “I told you about Aimée, how she was stillborn. . . Selina, her mother, she died right after her. Complications from the pregnancy.” He turns to look at Eddie. Eddie’s looking back at him, eyebrows furrowed. When he had told the team about Aimée, he was already broken down. They had assumed the mother had left from the trauma. Buck made no effort to deny the assumption. “I’m not here to tell you everything is gonna be alright, Eddie, I know for a fact that it’s far from alright. But I’d be a shitty friend to let you go through that pain alone like I had.”

Eddie’s eyes are red, and they water again as he closes the distance, lets his head rest against Buck’s shoulder as he sobs once more. They both cry there on the beach, consoling each other, and hoping that things can only get better for the both of them.

///////

“I miss her.”

Buck’s heart is dangerously close to tearing itself apart. If he thought seeing Eddie broken was heart breaking, he definitely was not prepared to be here, sitting next to Chris outside the church where they just held Shannon’s funeral. Seeing Chris so sad. . . he wishes he could bring Shannon back for the both of them. But she’s gone.

“I know you do, buddy.”

“Are you coming home with us?”

Buck inhales. It’s physically painful to tell Chris no. “I have to go to work, buddy. You need time with your family. I will come tomorrow, okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Christopher?” A woman approaches the two of them, eyeing Buck warily. “Hello.”

“Um. . . Hi.” Buck stands abruptly, rubbing his hands along his pants before extending a hand. “I’m Evan.”

“Helena.” She doesn’t move to accept the handshake, and Buck lets his hand drop.

“Mama?” Eddie comes rushing forward, glancing from Helena to Buck. _Mama. . . **Mama**! _Eddie’s mother. And she already doesn’t like him. “Oh, I see you’ve met Buck.”

She nods her head, and Eddie clears his throat, leaning down to Chris. “Hey, bud! Go with Abuelita, I’ll be there in a minute.” Chris nods, makes Buck lean down to give him a hug goodbye, before going off with Helena to Eddie’s truck. Eddie turns to Buck, throwing his arms around him, and hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Buck. Thank you for being here.”

“Always, Eddie. I will always be here.”

Eddie pulls back, looking up at Buck and cringing. “Sorry, for my mom. She doesn’t really trust anyone outside of family with Christopher. I think she’s mainly upset at the fact that he was practically glued to your side the whole time.”

Buck chuckles, glancing off in the direction where Helena and Chris had wandered off. “I hope I make a better impression next time.” He Pat’s Eddie on the shoulder, letting his hand linger before letting it drop and beginning to head to his Jeep. He wants to say more, but he can’t quite find the words. Somewhere deep down, though, he knows Eddie can understand all he's trying to convey. 

///////

_ “Hello, everybody! Thanks for spending your mornings with us today. Angelino is waking up a little bit on edge today after a second package bomb has exploded in the south land in as many days. Now, the first victim, Miranda Filson, she’s a criminal defense attorney from South Pasadena and somehow survived the blast. The second victim, a retired insurance adjustor, is clinging to life at this very hour. Now authorities are urging the public stay vigilant. If you see something, say something.” _

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “There’s a truck parked in my neighbor’s driveway, I don’t think I’ve seen it before. The hazards are on. I mean, who puts the hazards on in a driveway, right?” _

_ “If the truck's parked in the driveway with its hazards on, it’s probably just making a delivery.” _

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “Is there anyway you could send the police out? The people across the street, they just seem off, y'know? They have such a foreign sounding last name. . . is that reason enough to look into them?” _

_ “No, sir, having a foreign sounding last name is not reason enough for me to send the police out to investigate your neighbors.” _

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “I. . . him! I got him!” _

_ “Uh, I- I'm sorry. Ma'am, I'm having some trouble hearing you. Are you being attacked by a dog?” _

_ “No! That’s my dog! We've got the bomber pinned down! Send the cops!” “Stop it! Argh!” “Good boy, Titus!” “God, help me! She's crazy!” _

_ “You say you have the bomber pinned down?” _

_ “I caught him putting a package in my mailbox!” “I’m the **mail man**!” _

_ “Ma’am, he says he’s the mail man.” _

_ “He’s not my mail man! My mail man's Larry!” “Stop! Stop it! Larry's off for two weeks for foot surgery!” “I think he did something to Larry.” _

_ “Okay, I'm dispatching a unit to your location and, ma'am, I suggest you put Titus back in the house before the officers arrive.” _

///////

_ “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” _

_ “Oh my God! There’s a backpack! There’s a backpack outside Brookside Elementary! Send the cops! Quick, please!” _

_ “Ma'am, please slow down. Tell me again, where was the backpack found?” _

///////

Buck never expected the call they took a few days ago—one where a woman had shaken a package left on her doorstep, a package containing a bomb—to blossom into the mass hysteria that is spreading across Los Angeles as of now. And yet, here he is, ushering scared children against the side of the engine's on the off chance the backpack left in the middle of the courtyard is possibly a bomb and could unfortunately detonate.

Athena shakes her head, approaching the team with a look of disgust. “Teacher spotted it out there after recess. Nobody claimed it.”

“But it’s not a package,” Buck points out, recalling the last two victims who’s been specifically left packages on their doorstep, not backpacks in a school yard. “Thought this guy sends bombs through the mail.”

“Maybe changed his M.O.” Chim offers as Athena raises both eyebrows with that condescending headshake she always does when she’s judging a person to a whole new degree of judgement.

“Or inspired some other crazy.”

They watch from the safety of the trucks as the bomb squad work, glancing back at the firefighters and children every once in a while. Moments later, they’re warning them of the explosion they’re about to set off, and they’re back to ushering the kids to stay as close to the sides of the engine as possible while also urging them to duck as low as they can.

Moments later, they hear to boom of the bag being torn apart. The kids startle and wait for the quiet to return before hopping up and trying to peer around the ends of the engine’s to catch a glance of the remains. 

_ “Substance appears to be some kind of greyish paste.”  _ The member of the bomb squad relays through Athena's radio, and a cute little voice speaks up from behind them.

“It's tuna fish.” All heads turn to the little girl sporting two puff balls, twisting her hands guiltily.

“Emily,” a teacher leans down to her. “Was that your lunch?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Athena asks, that scary, condescending motherly tone of hers peeking out.

“I don’t like tuna fish!” She looks Athena up and down with scared little eyes. “Am I under arrest?”

Buck can’t help but smile. Children, he loves them. They can cause quite the panic sometimes, but who can resist such adorableness? Buck can’t. He absolutely can’t.

“These false alarms are almost more nerve wracking than the real thing.” Chim comments after they’ve safely ushered the kids back inside and packed up their gear.

“Don’t even think that.” Hen replies with a shake of her head.

Buck shrugs, glad that it was nothing more than a false alarm. “Maybe the whole thing is a false alarm. Maybe it’s over.”

“Maybe.”

///////

“It has a full kitchen with a quartz backsplash, spacious master bathroom, elevated sleeping area and the view. You cannot put a price on that.”

“Yeah, but, hmm,” Buck waves the pamphlet, shaking his head jokingly at the real estate agent from upstairs. “You did.”

She chuckles, pointing up at Buck with a raised eyebrow. “There’s wiggle room.”

“Well,” Buck smirks, biting his lower lip as his eyes roam Ali up and down. “We are. . . all about the wiggle room, right?”

She chuckles, sidling up right next to Buck and looking around at the empty space. “Yeah. I like it.”

“Open floor plan,” Ali continues as they descend to the bottom level with smiles. Buck’s mainly excited because he’s finally getting his own space. Not bunking with random people he met, and finally getting out of Maddie’s hair. “Kitchen modern. A little raw. . . I see the potential.”

She stops just a few steps above Buck, hands reaching to rub at his shoulders as he throws her another smirk. “Do you now?”

“Yeah,” she leans forward, arms wrapping across his torse and mouth right up against his cheek. “We could have you living like a real adult.”

Buck’s eyes meet the realtor’s, and he smiles shyly, glancing between the two ladies with a blush. “This would be my first place, uh. . . all on my own.”

The woman’s eyes widen tremendously as she glances between Ali and Buck. “Oh. . . I assumed you’d be living here together.”

“Oh, uh. . .” Ali and Buck turn to each other, each sporting sheepish smiles. They’re not yet at that stage in the relationship. “No.”

“No, this is—she’s just my decorator.” Buck chuckles as Ali shoves at him. “We, uh, we’re just not quite at that stage yet.”

“Yeah, not quite,” Ali echoes, arms draping around his neck as she looks up at him lovingly. “We’re at the stage where I’m ready for his man cave to get a little more natural light. I travel a lot for work and he’s. . .”

“Better than a hotel,” Buck offers, to the confusion of the woman. Honestly, he thinks he might’ve fried a few of her wires up top because she’s still looking at them with wide, confused eyes. 

“Oh yeah, a lot better.” She pulls him in, and he snakes his arm around her waist, pulling her close as he dips down to give her chaste, but sweet kiss. They both smile, and since Buck now has his back to the realtor, Ali moves her head to acknowledge her before Buck can go farther than PG. “Let’s talk closet space.”

///////

Buck’s happy that Eddie’s back. He was missing his partner for the past few days. Nothing surprised him more than the way the two just fell back into their normal dynamic. Buck doesn’t glance at him pityingly as the others do, and he makes sure not to bring up Ali as that would be flaunting his relationship in front of Eddie when his wife just died.

No. He acts normal, throwing jokes here and there, being his normal self around him. And so far, Eddie and him have been practically inseparable. Sure, there were moments where the two weren’t together, but for the most part, since Eddie’s returned, the two have been together. It seems amusing to Hen for reasons Buck has yet to figure out.

“Help! Over here! My arm!” the girl cries out as the maid opens the door for the team to enter. She’s lying on the floor, cradling her right arm, her chair knocked over.

Chim and Hen rush forward, Buck and Eddie right behind. As the two paramedics kneel down to look her over, Buck and Eddie get to work, righting the chair before pushing back her desk. The turn back as Chim and Hen sit her up before looking around with confusion.

“Uh, dispatch said something about an animal. . .”

“Yeah, it, um. . .” she looks squeamish as she looks from Chim to Buck to Eddie. “It came out of my face.”

Eddie cocks an eyebrow, hands on his hips as he looks around the seemingly empty room as Buck lowers himself to study her desktop. “What are we looking for exactly?”

“It was like a little worm or a grub, maybe.”

“Like a maggot?”

“Ew, don’t say maggot.”

“Maggot!” Buck proclaims with a smile, eyes landing on the wiggling creature. He misses his team’s exasperated eye rolls at his seemingly weird fascination with bugs. He has a fascination with nature, is that so wrong?

“You been out of the country lately?”

“Uh, yeah. I actually do a lot of travelling for work.”

“What do you do?”

“Uh, I’m a beauty and fashion influencer.”

“Has your circle of influence included Central and South America?” Hen asks as Eddie hands Buck a pair of tweezers, which he uses to pick up the little worm, completely fixated on it as he drops it into the little container Eddie holds out with an exasperated smile. 

“No, no. I mean, I did just get back from Belize.”

Even Buck frowns and turns away from the maggot as Eddie frowns tremendously at her. “Belize is in Central America.”

“Oh. . . Are you sure?”

Buck almost laughs at Eddie’s look of concern as he rolls his eyes at her. . . how does Buck put it politely? Lack of intelligence. “Pretty sure.”

Hen shines a light, more at the hole on the girl’s cheek. “Bot fly.”

Now _that_ is something that always manages to gross Buck out. His one fear during his stay in South America was a bot fly laying its tiny eggs in his body without him knowing. And then giving birth to all the little nasty buggers. He holds up the container, shaking the thing about with interest as Hen explains to the girl how the maggot managed to end up in her cheek.

“Luckily,” he follows after Hen. “It looks like you got it out all in one piece.” 

“They’ll be able to extract the rest at the hospital.”

“The rest!?”

“Think of them as new followers,” Chim says to which Buck actually laughs because it was too good of a joke not to laugh at. Especially when the girl scrunches up her face with disgust.

“Gross!” They help her onto the gurney, and as she’s being rolled out she gestures back to her desk. “Oh my god! Wait! No, no, no, no! Can somebody grab my phone?”

Buck and Eddie look back to the desk, spotting the phone attached to the stand instantly. It’s almost scary the way they simultaneously raise their hands and wave at the camera, as if they’re both in sync.

“Hi, guys!” Eddie says as Buck smiles, moving closer to help Eddie with the workings of what appears to be Instagram live. “Later!”

///////

“Hey, check it out!” TK cocks an eyebrow as he strolls towards Mateo and Paul, glancing over their shoulders to get a good look of a gif of Marjan and her mishap from the corn call the other day. He shakes his head, moving back to polishing the truck.

“Yo, these comments!” Paul says with a shake of his head, taking the phone from Probie. “B-R-B, gotta burn down my house.” Ok, TK can admit that was a funny comment. He can’t blame the person, Marjan does look great with her hair down, a truly beautiful woman. One that he would probably pine after if he were playing for her team. He doesn’t. “Redneckonize says ‘must almost die so she can give me mouth to mouth’.”

Marjan scowls as she finishes rolling up the hose. “Can you turn that off, Probie? Seriously.”

“Aw, come on!” Paul says as he hands the phone back to Mateo. “Do not pretend like you don’t love the attention.”

“I do, just. . . not when it’s like that.”

“My dentist is Muslim,” Mateo offers as TK inches back over, silently asking for the phone which Mateo hands over. He’s definitely not trying to see whether or not he can get the post taken down. Wouldn’t want Marjan hanging it over his head that he’s a big teddy bear. But, hey, he protects those in his family. And if Marjan chooses to keep her hair a secret from the world then people shoulder— _need_ —to respect that. “And she doesn’t wear a hijab.”

Marjan pauses from rolling another hose, blinking up at Mateo irritably. “It’s a choice.”

“So, you wear that by choice? Why?”

“Connects me to something bigger. Not just my faith, but to those who came before me. My mom, my aunties, my grannies; they taught me to be proud of who I am no matter what people say. And I carry that with me every time I wear it.”

“Oh, I get it.” TK throws Mateo a skeptical look. Mateo’s not stupid, but sometimes. . . he says dumb things. And for some reason, TK gets the feeling that this is about to be one of those times. “It’s like superman’s cape.” Point proven. Marjan looks at Mateo in exasperation, even Paul throws Mateo a questioning look. “I mean, without it he’s just a guy in tights.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Probie?” Paul shakes his head and looks at Mateo as though he’s sprouted a second head. “He’s all powerful no matter what he wears.”

“He is? I. . . missed that.”

“I hate you both,” Marjan says with a shake of her head as she moves to put away the hoses.

“Dude, you follow beauty influencers?” TK chuckles as he scrolls through Mateo’s feed, satisfied with the amount of photos he reported featuring Marjan’s slip up. He clicks on one of the lives going on at the moment, gagging at the close up of a girl squeezing at a zit on her face. “Ew! Gross! This girl is going Dr. Pimple Popper on her followers.”

“Ooh, lemme see!” Marjan practically knocks TK down as she slides right next to him, with Paul and Mateo crowding his other side to get a good look as well. They all watch as the zit pops and puss seemingly escapes the wound before wiggling. “Is it. . . alive?”

The girl seems to notice to as the maggot wiggles down her cheek before she begins shrieking and swatting at her face. Of course, in her rush to get the thing off, she falls back and out of her chair with a painful thud, and the firefighters hiss as she instructs Siri to call 9-1-1. 

“Pretty hurts.” Paul says, to which Mateo offers a high five with a laugh, TK masks his smile by shaking his head, and Marjan rolls her eyes at the three of them.

It doesn’t take long for the first responders to arrive, by the sound of voices, and a group of firefighter’s crowd around her, making space throughout the room before two stride up to the desk to push it back. Two very familiar faces.

“Small world.” TK mutters as Marjan, Mateo, and Paul seem to be intrigued by the appearance of Buck and Eddie.

“I wouldn’t mind getting in between the middle of those two,” Marjan mutters, eyebrows wiggling as Paul and Mateo giggle once more at the new wave of comments.

“Please don’t put that picture in my head,” TK says, handing the phone once more to Mateo with an eye roll. “Though Eddie is quite the eye candy.”

“Eddie? How do you know his name is Eddie?”

“This was the team I worked with while Owen and I were in Los Angeles.”

“You worked with these guys and didn’t fawn over them? TK, I thought you played for their team!”

“First of all, Eddie had a wife and has a kid, and is quite older than me. Secondly, the guy on the right is my brother.”

“Yo, what?” Paul shakes his head, looking from the phone to TK and back to the phone. “Seems like Cap gave you none of the good genes.”

They all chuckle as TK rolls his eyes, dryly saying, “Ha. Ha. Laugh it up. I’ll have you know, he’s my step-brother and gets none of his genes from my dad.”

“What’s so funny?” Michelle asks as she strolls over to the group, looking curious between an exasperated TK and his amused counterparts.

“We’re discussing how hot TK’s brother is compared to him!” Mateo offers, to which Michelle lets both eyebrows raise with interest.

“Brother? I didn’t know you had a brother, TK.” She strolls over to the group, also glancing at the phone to get a good look at Buck. “Wow. That’s a pretty boy. Are y’all sure you’re related?”

TK rolls his eyes yet again, throwing his arms up and talking to no one in particular. “Anyone else wish to take a hit at my ego?”

And that’s when his dad strides over, big grin on his face as looks at the entire group. “What’s going on here?”

“We’re marveling over your other son, Captain.” Michelle says, voice so soft and soothing as she smiles so cruelly at TK. “You didn’t tell us that TK had a brother.”

His dad guffaws, looking at TK in surprise. “TK! Why didn’t you tell me my favorite son was on the phone?”

TK shakes his head, pointing at them all with mock anger and irritation. “I hate you all.”

///////

To say Buck was worried would be an understatement. The bombings didn’t stop. In fact, Athena was the next on the list, and Harry would’ve been a poor victim if Michael hadn’t been there to stop him from picking up the package left on their doorstep.

That’s what Buck can’t understand. Why Athena? If this guy is going after Athena, would he try to go for Bobby?

And there’s that horrible feeling seeping through him again. Dread. Just like it had the day Shannon died. He can’t shake the feeling once more that something bad is going to happen.

“You alright?” He looks up as Eddie sits down across from him at the table.

He opens and closes his mouth. He doesn’t know how to explain it, he just knows that something bad is going to happen. “You know. . . the day Shannon. . .” He doesn’t have to nor does he want to say more. The look on Eddie’s face is enough for Buck to continue because Eddie understands what Buck is saying. “That whole day I just had this feeling of dread wash over me. Like something bad was gonna happen, y’know?”

“Yeah?” Eddie frowns, eyes searching Buck’s with concern. “What’s this about Buck?”

“I have that feeling again, dread. That something bad is going to happen.”

They both startle as the bell goes off, and as they’re getting up and moving to the engines, Eddie leans closer to Buck. “The day’s practically over, Buck. Maybe it’s just nerves. Nothing bad is gonna happen.”

Buck wanted to believe that but he started noting things out of place. Hen, Chim, Eddie, they were all in the engine. Buck couldn’t sidle in next to Eddie because there was no room left, so he sat shotgun in the ladder truck. But it felt wrong. Buck always sat next to Eddie when he could. Always sat with Hen and Chim. Him, Eddie, Hen, Chimney, Bobby; they’re a family. He couldn’t help always wanting to ride with them.

And then they’re just down the road from the station when dispatch is sounding through their radios.

_ “118! 118! This is dispatch! We’ve got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it’s important.”  _ Bobby? Why would dispatch have Bobby on the line?

It’s the last thought of confusion he has watching the engine turn the corner before the ladder truck begins to follow. But halfway around the corner, a deafening boom sounds in his ears. The world spins before his eyes. It’s so unnaturally hot, scorching even, as if flames were licking at his side.

He feels weightless, as if he’s being thrown through the air, before hitting solid ground, disoriented.

_ What happened? _

That’s the main question. He honestly thinks he’s blacked out, for how long, he isn’t sure. When he opens his eyes, he can see, through the smoky haze, the other occupants of the ladder truck laying motionless in the street. There’s something wet on his forehead. His guess is blood, seeing as his head hurts so bad that he had to have hit it when he hit the ground.

And he’s awake. That’s the worst part. Everyone else around him seems to be unconscious, but with as much thinking as Buck can do without hurting his head too much, he can conclude that he’s conscious from shock. Shock because he’s been hurt, but he doesn’t know where or how bad. He has to see how bad, but slowly.

He slowly drags his face across the rough ground, beginning to lift his face up when he hears the shatter of glass, and something falls against his right foot. He hasn’t even realized his eyes are closed because of how disoriented he is. He opens his eyes yet again, and from his curled position he can see where the front window has fallen from the frame and onto his free foot. That’s not what causes Buck to grunt in pain.

No, that would be the ladder truck which lays on top of his foot. The pain seems to shoot up his leg and through his spine the moment his eyes land on the spot where his foot can’t be seen from under the truck. So much for his plan of moving.

He moves his gaze to feet approaching him. He thinks it’s help, but when his eyes land on the vest strapped to the boy’s chest, a detonator in his hand, dread fills right back in him again. This is not help, this is the bomber. And the boy lowers enough for Buck to see him clearly, see the way his eyebrows bunch as he looks at Buck with distaste and disappointment.

“You’re new.”

///////

“I mean, where does he get off?” TK slams his glass down on the table, taking the darts from Carlos as he turns from burning holes in the back of Judd’s head to face the dart board. “Y’know, coming at me with that redneck swagger calling me the coach’s son?”

“I don’t know,” Carlos responds.

“Who thinks working in Manhattan is such a cushy gig?”

“Not sure.”

“Y’know, I once saved a window washer from the forty-fourth floor of the Chrysler building.”

TK might almost take the smile Carlos sends his way as mocking. “That’s impressive.”

“Yeah, I know it is!” He throws yet another anger filled glare at Judd where he sits, chatting calmly with his wife. “Tell that to Cowboy Judd!”

“Y’know, if I was a less secure man, I might be bothered by the fact that I worked up the nerve to ask you out and you spend the entire night talking about another guy.”

Which Carlos is not. TK likes that about him. The fact that he actually sat here and let him rant about Judd for the entirety of their date. “Well, it pisses me off.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Carlos takes the darts from TK, focusing on the target with a slick smile. “Guess he hit a nerve.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Just seems like nobody’s ever spoken to you that way before.”

“You think he’s right?” Carlos chooses not to answer, instead chucking the darts at the board to which TK begrudgingly walks toward to retrieve said darts.

“Do you?”

He plucks one off the board, sighing as he turns, eyebrows raised at Carlos as he waves the dart menacingly. “You know I’m holding a dart.”

Carlos looks right into TK’s eyes challengingly, his tone dropping at least two octaves. “And I’m packing a piece.”

That coupled by the lustful gaze Carlos catches TK with, followed by the knowledge that the man in front of him has cuffs. . . TK’s tough façade falls instantly as he licks his lips and looks Carlos up and down as he smiles for the first time since walking into the bar. “That’s hot.”

His eyes manage to catch something over Carlos’ shoulder, and he frowns instantly at the TV. Carlos frowns, too, looking behind him to see what’s spoiled his attempt at rectifying his date. “What?”

“Come on.” TK grabs Carlos’ hand, leading him to the bar and requesting the barista to turn up the volume on the tv.

_ “If you’re just joining us, witnesses are reporting that this LAFD ladder truck, belonging to station house 118,”  _ TK stiffens, eyes taking in the scene before him with a spike of worry. _“Was hit by some kind of an explosive as it was making its way to a call. Now, you can see, there’s a firefighter pinned under that truck.”_

TK spins, eyes searching until he finds his dad, moving over to him and Michelle. “Dad!”

“Hey, TK, what’s up?”

“It’s Buck.” He nods his head to the TV where other bargoers have stopped what they were previously doing in favor of watching the live feed of LA. “He’s on the news again. It’s bad. It’s really bad.”

///////

Buck grunts as he comes to, smiling at the heavy weight on top of him. “Woah, hey! I’m up! I’m up!” He lifts her up into the air, a giggling bundle of joy, and brings her down to pepper her face with kisses. He stops, sniffs the air, and smiles brightly at the little girl. “Do I smell pancakes?”

“Pancakes! Pancakes!” Aimée chants as Buck situates her on his hip before climbing out of bed and making his way down the stairs, catching sight of a plate of stacked pancakes on the table from over the banister.

“Look who’s awake!” Selina smiles from the kitchen, her heavy accent music to his ears. She’s grabbing glasses of orange juice and setting them down on the table set for three—more accurately two and a baby. She turns, taking Aimée from his arms and getting her situated in the highchair. “Who’s ready for breakfast? I know you are.”

Selina turns back to him once she’s given Aimée her pancake. She slides right to up to him, bringing her arms around his neck to pull him down into a sweet kiss. “I love you; you know that right?”

Buck smiles with a nod, letting his forehead rest against hers. “Yeah. I love you, too, Selina. More than you’ll ever know.”

“I will always be here for you when you need. _We_ will always be here for you.” She pulls back to smile over his shoulder. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Buck frowns, turns around and freezes as Sam shuffles his way to the table, sitting down in a chair and fixing himself a plate of pancakes. “Good morning, Selina. Buck.”

“Sam. . ?” He looks to Selina in confusion and she sighs, instructing Sam to keep watch of Aimée as she guides Buck to the front door. “Selina?”

“Buck, I meant what I said. I love you— _we_ love you—and we’ll always be here for you. We’re not going anywhere.” She opens the door and the world beyond the porch is a blank canvas, completely white. “And you’re not going anywhere either. You have friends. . .” In the blink of an eye, he can see Hen and Chim and Michael and Harry and May and Denny, they’re all talking happily amongst one another. “Family. . .” TK and Owen and Eddie and Chris and Athena and Bobby seemingly appear in the blink of an eye, and Buck frowns as he turns and suddenly realizes that he’s standing outside the house. “They need you more than you need us. Go back to them Buck.”

///////

He hears Bobby’s voice when he comes to once more, and he turns his head to get a good look at him, standing not too far from the bomber, arms up in surrender. _No. . ._ he wants to call out through his haziness. _Bobby. . ._

“Thought you’d be on the truck.” It’s a voice he doesn’t recognize, no doubt belonging to the bomber.

“I’m here now.” Bobby moves forward, and Buck wishes he had the strength to tell him to stop. “What’s next? This what you wanted?”

“I wanted you dead.” _I don’t._ He wants Bobby alive, and to stop approaching a strapped suspect.

“I get that. What about them? What about him?” He can tell Bobby’s talking about him, from the way the kid glances once more at him with the same distaste and disappointment from before. “He’s got parents, brother, sister, a girlfriend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

“Collateral damage.” Funny. He’s pretty sure his name is Evan Buckley, not Collateral Damage. He’s not about to die because some kid doesn’t give a shit about the innocent people he hurt.

“That how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all of this—”

“Stop!” The kid’s holding the detonator menacingly, burning Bobby to a crisp with his hateful glare. “One more step, we all go boom.”

“Freddie,” Bobby tries more calmly than before. “You got dealt a bad hand and I am sorry about that. But what you did with it, that’s a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb.”

“That lawyer, she—”

“Did her job! We were all doing our jobs.”

“Destroying my family. My mom and I lost everything. She was in so much pain.”

“Wanna make it worse? Wanna make her watch you die?”

Buck can’t see clearly but watches through the haze as Freddie turns to another group of blurry figures, no doubt his mother flanked by two officers. And the moment Freddie turns, Bobby strikes faster than Buck can comprehend. There’s a scuffle of feet right in front of him that abruptly stops with shouting from approaching figures. The S.W.A.T. team.

There’s too many feet around him at once. It makes him dizzy to the point where he needs to close his eyes—just for a second—to try to ease the throbbing in his head.

“Stay with us, Buck!” He opens his eyes to Chim, Hen, and Eddie hovering right over him. Chim, his friend and potential brother in law. Hen, the wonderful joy who’s so much like a sister to him. And Eddie. . . the man he wants to kiss so bad but can’t. He doesn’t even realize his hand as inched closer to the man until he’s touching his knee with a flood of relief.

“Buck, how we doing?”

How is he doing? Honestly, he can’t tell because he doesn’t really feel the pain. “Kinda numb.”

He does feel Eddie’s gloved hands against the crook of his neck. “Skin is cold and pale!”

Ironic, seeing as he feels hot. Or does he? 

“Alright. Put sodium bicarbonate! Just hang in there, Buckaroo.”

“Hang on, Buck!” 

“This is Captain 118, I got a probable crush injury. I need all hands on deck to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma center.”

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie taps him lightly, startling his eyes open that he didn’t realize he had closed. “Stay awake for me, alright. Keep those pretty eyes open.”

“’M just tired.”

“I know, stay awake.”

It’s kind of hard to stay awake when all Buck wants to do is close his eyes and rest. Or, he thought it would be hard. But the moment the weight of the truck rolls on his leg, his eyes fly open. The pain floods over him, wave after wave, and when the mugginess in his ears clear a little he can hear his own cry of agony, can feel the scratchiness in his throat. He’s grasping Eddie’s and Hen’s hands tightly, trying to pull himself away from the agonizing pain. . . or maybe they’re pulling him. Either way, he wants it to end. When the weight rolls back to its original position, still crushing his leg, he slumps forward, bursting into tears and practically shaking all over.

“Hang on, Buck,” Eddie says once more, a hand running over his head gently as he looks up. “We got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?”

“Nah, we need more people.”

“I’ll radio again. Dispatch, this is Cap. . .” In Buck’s painful haze, it took him to notice the crowd of bodies rushing towards the truck to help. If he wasn’t in so much agonizing pain, he might’ve smiled. 

They all slot themselves where they can, and Buck grasps onto Hen and Eddie once more as the weight rolls again. The pain floods over him once more, and his throat is beyond sore from his cries. But this time, when he slumps forward again, he’s free from the weight. He’s free from the truck. And he cries and shakes from both the pain and the relief.

They’re able to roll him onto his back, getting him onto the backboard. His friends, his coworkers are all hovering above him. The first time they lift him, it both startles and pains him. He’s shakily reached out and latched onto Eddie’s arm without even realizing, but Eddie lets him keep it there as they lift once more and have him on the gurney. And then Eddie’s taking Buck’s hands in his own as they roll him over to the ambulance.

“Hang on there, Buddy.” It’s Eddie’s voice, calling to him. His eyes are closed and he’s lost a good amount of energy to open them, but he squeezes Eddie’s hand with as much energy as he has left.

He’s not going anywhere.

///////

He hates the bright lights. He hates everything about the hospital. But they serve well in making Carla seem like the angel from heaven that she is. She smiles brightly as his eyes land on her.

“Welcome back.”

“Carla?” He smiles from her soft chuckle. He’s glad to see her. “You. . . you’re here.”

“Course I’m here. Hey, if I see my friend on the news being crushed by a firetruck, I’m here.”

Crushed by a firetruck. He was crushed by a firetruck. His eyes move to his casted and propped up leg. He tries his best to pull himself up a bit, breathing quickening a bit as though he’s going to cry at the sight of his damaged leg.

“Okay, okay.” Carla’s got a hand on his shoulder as she tries her best to comfort him. “Okay, Buck. Alright, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“Is it?” He can’t help but feel so vulnerable, looking so sad and broken down. “Did you speak to the doctor? Did he say anything about how the surgery went?”

“Just that you made it through,” Carla says, lowering herself into the chair next to his bed with a reassuring smile. “And you’re now the proud owner of one titanium rod and four beautifully cobalt chrome screws.” She chuckles, fixing Buck with a caring smile as he continues looking at his leg with worry and concern. “You were hoping for something more?”

“Before they wheeled me in, he, um. . .” He moves his gaze back to Carla, full of distraught. “He said he didn’t know how it was gonna go.”

“You’ll walk again.”

“Yeah, h- he said. . . he said he was pretty confident about that. He, um. . . he just—he didn’t know if I would ever _work_ again.”

Carla sighs, also glancing once at Buck’s leg before rubbing his unharmed thigh. “Okay. I’m not gonna lie to you and tell you that it’s gonna be alright. But I don’t think you need to be barring trouble. Not yet. Let’s just take this moment and be glad that you’re _alive_.” He is glad that he’s alive, but he doesn’t see a life worth living if he can’t do what he loves the most. “Ali seems nice.”

“You met Ali?”

“Hmm, so we’re into brunettes now?”

Buck smiles, grateful for the cheering up he definitely needs right now. “She was actually blonde when I met her.”

“Oh, so we’re just gonna cover the waterfront.” He loves Carla. He chuckles right along with her when the door opens, and in steps Ali followed by Maddie.

“He’s awake.” She moves over to the bedside, offering Carla a hi before leaning down to him, cupping his cheek and giving him a sweet, tender kiss. “You were in surgery for a while. Too long.”

“Thank you for being here.”

“I would like it noted that he didn’t thank either of us.” Buck bites his lip to keep from smiling at Maddie’s whisper.

“Girl, I don’t think he knows we’re still in the room.”

He knows, but it’s entertaining to hear the two talk as though he can’t hear what they’re saying.

*****

“You’re awake,” a cute voice calls out the moment he opens his eyes, and Buck smiles as he moves his eyes from the tv to Chris.

“Hey, superman.”

Chris frowns a bit, his chair scooted as close to the bed as possible. “They said I couldn’t lay with you.”

Buck takes a glance at his leg with a sigh, looking back to Chris regretfully. “Not this time, bud.”

“I put on your favorite cartoon,” Chris says with a proud smile, gesturing to the tv. “Family tradition.”

“Thank you for that.” Buck says, reaching out to ruffle his hair a bit and ignoring the spike of pain shooting up his side from doing so.

“Buck,” His eyes turn to the doorway, where Eddie’s fixing him with a slight glare. Leave it to Eddie to notice his flinch. “You injure anything else and I will pummel you right here, in this very hospital.”

He nods, moving his hand back and rubbing at his side to ease the pain. “You can’t beat up patients.”

“We’re in the hospital, they have the means to fix you up after I do so.” Eddie pulls up a chair, sits down next to Chris, and sips on his cup of coffee. “Glad to see you doing a lot better, though. Station hasn’t been the same without you.”

“I bet.” Buck smiles widely, shaking his head cockily. “It’s missing my impeccable charm.”

“Ah, that would be me. I’m the impeccable charm. I was just saying how the house is missing it’s Dalmatian.”

“Ouch, Eddie. You’re lucky I’m in a hospital bed.”

“Yeah!” Chris echoes, causing Buck to bark out a laugh, carefully offering a high five to Chris.

“Turn my own son against me. That’s cruel.” Eddie shakes his head, looking at Buck more earnestly. “Seriously, though, it hasn’t been the same. Bobby’s back. Chim and Hen are partners again. . . I’m missing mine.” Buck can’t help but smile sadly, he wants to go back just as much as Eddie wants him back. He’s just not sure if he’ll be coming back. “I, uh, I met your mom.”

Buck eyebrows furrow. “My mom was here?”

“Yeah,” Eddie’s eyes downcast, blush tinting his cheeks. “I made quite the impression.”

“Daddy ran into her and accidentally spilled his coffee all over her shirt!”

Buck blinks in surprise, glancing to Eddie with an amused smile. “I mean, that’s one way to meet my mom, Eds.”

“She went home to go change her clothes. She was so nice about it. I see why you’re so good with people.”

“I’m telling you, it’s my impeccable charm.”

Eddie laughs once more, shaking his head. “Alright, keep telling yourself that, Buckaroo. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

///////

“Easy, okay?” Ali says as she props open the door for Buck to move through a bit too fast for a man on crutches. “Don’t want you to fall and break the other one.”

“I am just glad to be out of the hospital.”

“Yeah?”

“I miss my own bed!” Buck looks up at the loft, at all the stairs mocking him. “Which I won’t see for the next three months. Guess I am sleeping down here.”

Buck shakes his head as he moves over to his couch with ease.

“You’re like a perpetual roommate even in your own place.”

“Lesson learned, never sign a lease if you intend on being crushed by municipal equipment.”

“Hmm,” Ali shakes her head as Buck props his crutches against the wall and hops the remaining few inches to the couch. “Or, better idea, how bout not get crushed by municipal equipment.”

She sits down on the coffee table across from Buck, leaning in close as he smiles slyly. “Now why didn’t I think of that?”

He pulls her in for a kiss because he’s in desperate need of some comfort. So, when Ali pulls back for once, rubbing the back of his neck, he frowns slightly. “So. . . have you, uh, have you thought about what’s next?”

_ A hot bath. Maybe some pizza, god I could go for some pizza right now. I blame Eddie for that. Making this couch more comfortable seeing as it’ll be my bed for the next three months. Looking into rehab centers so I can get back on the job. I haven’t stopped thinking about what’s next since I got out of the hospital. _

“Once you get this thing off.”

The way she smiles, chuckles, though, doesn’t sit right with Buck. For some reason, the way she said “what’s next” feels as though Ali and him aren’t on the same wavelength of what the next step should be.

He frowns at her, leaning back out of her space accusingly. “Why? D- did the doctor say something to you?”

“No.”

“Um, I don’t—I don’t know.” He swallows the lump in his throat, still looking at her skeptically. “Um, I guess a lot of physical therapy an—and—”

“You probably just wanna get right back out there.”

He frowns even more. She’s looking at him with a smile, but the tone of her voice indicates that she’s far from amused. “Yeah. Of course, I mean. . . w- what else?” She shrugs, still with that damn smile and Buck’s not having it. She’s making it seem as though the job isn’t the way he should be going. “What? Come on, what’s going on?”

Her smile finally falls as she looks at Buck in all seriousness. “I watched you almost die.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t.”

“But you could’ve.”

“But I didn’t!”

“I know! I. . .” She glances down sadly to avoid Buck’s burning glare. He didn’t leave the hospital for people to tell him to give up on his love for being a firefighter. He wants to get back out there, with his family, with Eddie, and the fact that Ali, _his girlfriend_ , isn’t supporting the idea hurts him. “I’m glad. Look, I. . .” She pats his knee as she stands, moving to the chair by the window to grab the blanket resting on the seat. “It’s not like I didn’t know you were in a dangerous line of work. When I met you, y’know, ten stories up of a collapsing high rise.”

“Exactly!” Buck says, eyebrows furrowed in slight irritation because he can’t see why all of a sudden she’s so against his job when she _knows_ he does this for a living, that he _loves_ saving people.

“That was one day! One day of my life, Evan.” He doesn’t like the way it rolls off her tongue. Hates the way his name sounds coming out of her mouth in such a tone. He feels betrayed really, but maybe just a little relieved, looking at her with a frown. Honestly, he doesn’t think he could keep lying to her and leading her on, and if she can’t see how much being a firefighter means to him, then he really doesn’t need her in his life. “It’s everyday for you. I’m just starting to really understand what that means.”

“Wait so—so you want me to quit my job, that’s what you’re asking me to do!?” she lowers herself to his level quickly, shaking her head at his rising tone.

“No, I would never—I would _never_ ask you to do that. Listen, I know it’s who you are. I’m just not sure. . .”

“If it’s who you are.” He nods understandingly, but he can’t stop the tears from falling. He just. . . Ali was such an understanding friend, and though he may not have felt the way she did for him, not completely, she was still a joy to have around. Especially now, when she’s sitting here, pretty much accepting the fact that Buck will never give up being a firefighter, he doesn’t have many friends like that. And maybe they’re not meant to be together, but a good person like Ali is hard to come back.

She cups his cheek, wiping away the tear rolling down his cheek. “Hey, I don’t know yet. Okay?”

He nods, though he knows deep down this is Ali telling him goodbye.

///////

“Hey! Woah, woah, woah! Come on!” Buck protests as Maddie sets the scissors down in frustration and resorts to tearing apart his pants leg. “Be careful.”

“Uh, were you gonna sew these two pieces back together? I don’t think so.”

“Doesn’t mean you had to rip them.” Maddie holds up his pants, looking at the fabric with a slight frown. “Uh huh, looks terrible.”

“It’s gonna be fine. Okay? We’re just gonna tuck it in the top of your cast—I don’t even know why I’m taking you. You shouldn’t be on your feet. You need to be healing.”

Hell no. Buck would _never_ miss something like this. “Well, this is more important.”

*****

“People assume we choose this life. I’m not so sure,” Bobby states, clad in his uniform as Eddie stands next to him, tall and proud. “Sometimes, I think this life chooses us. For those that answer the call, there can be no doubt, no equivocation. It’s not just the lives of those we serve, depend on us, but our own. The lives of our fellow firefighters and first responders. Today, we welcome into those ranks a new brother. After a year of hard work and dedication, I am proud to officially declare that your probationary period is at an end.” Buck is a smiling mess when Eddie’s bright eyes catch his. He smiles at the way Eddie fights to keep his composure, but the man fails miserably in front of everyone, smiling brightly like a kid on Christmas day. “Welcome to Los Angeles Fire Department, Firefighter Diaz.”

Buck claps along with the crowd, smiling sweetly as Chris makes his way down the aisle towards Eddie. Eddie bends down with a smile, lifting Chris up. “What you got for me, son?”

“I got your helmet.”

“Yeah? You got my helmet.” He takes the helmet from Chris, hugging him tightly as the crowd lets out a chorus of “aww” and continues to clap and cheer for Eddie.

They move on to cake and mingling, Eddie’s family moving to congratulate him. Maddie made it specifically clear for him to stay off his feet as much as possible, but he’s glad for Carla shooing him over to Eddie.

Eddie’s smiling brightly at him, teasing him about the leg before gently pulling him in for a hug. He’s wrapping his arm around Eddie and holding tightly (mainly to keep from toppling over) and smiling into the crook of Eddie’s neck.

“Thank you for being here, Buck.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

No, he wouldn’t. This life he chose, this family he’s made, he would never give it up.

And nothing’s gonna stop him from getting back to it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I tell you guys it has been a HOT minute. Um, where to start. . . an apology. Guys, I did not forget about this story, I'm still working on it. But when I tell you, I was hit with the worst case of writers block and usually I give up writing a story at that point but I wasn't about to do that to y'all. So I edited and edited and edited until FINALLY I was okay with the finished product. So, here I am bringing you a short, sweet chapter because after the last one I will not be hurting any feelings today. All fluff because we need some fluff. 
> 
> It's been quite the week. When I tell you I was stressed. I had to go through my list of colleges (which I narrowed that list down from 100 to 4 like a BOSS), we reaching for Columbus State btw. FINALLY figured out what I want to major in (bachelor degree for Psychology and Criminal Justice). Now I gotta look for scholarships and I just never realized how stressful preparing for college could be.
> 
> And then to top it off y'all. . . Y'ALL. My school has been in national news for the past two weeks. You know what's not a good combination? Stress and anger. I'm bout ready to go off on the principal, the school board, anybody coming for Hannah and being a bully. . . it's just been a crazy week.
> 
> But I wasn't about to let that stop me from continuing this story cause I'm not giving up on this. That being said, I don't really have any warnings as I said I kept the chapter light and fluffy, happy vibes cause that's the type of vibes I wanna be on right now. There is a mention of the accident so I'm gonna put that warning out there, happens at the very beginning and then after that no angst. Happy vibes. (Oh, and mentions of cancer. Can't forget that.)
> 
> So enjoy these happy vibes y'all. (Seriously, enjoy them cause those who know these shows know the next chapter ain't gonna have the same happy vibes)

_“Austinites are picking up the pieces after a series of tornadoes that meteorologists have rated as EF4’s.”_ Buck frowns at the television screen as photos of destroyed houses in Austin, Texas pop up along the screen. _“Thirty-five casualties scours more injured; damages are estimated in the billions. But the people in the city are banding together, in no small part due to the brave effort of first responders who have proved that not even tornadoes can mess with Texas.”_

Buck observes as the scene changes to a young first responder, dutifully moving amongst survivors to offer bottles of water. TK immediately comes to mind, and the thought of how he must be doing crosses Buck’s mind before his phone goes off. His eyes glance to the screen. _Speak of. . ._

“Ty!” Buck says the second he hits answer. He turns the volume of the tv down, partly to hear TK better, and partly because Chris is sleeping soundly down the hall in his bed and Eddie and his mom are having a conversation in the kitchen. One he chose to opt out of. “I just saw the news about the tornadoes. How’re you holding up?”

“Buck. . .” It’s quiet for a few seconds, enough to make Buck frown considerably.

“TK, is everything alright?”

“Buck, I just need you to listen, okay? Can you do that?”

Buck sits up straighter on the couch and switches the TV off completely. Worry is etched on his face as he urges TK to continue and that he has Buck’s undivided attention.

“I found a pill bottle.” And if Buck hadn’t promised to listen, he definitely would’ve interrupted TK right then. Mainly expressing his concern for TK and a pill bottle being within the same vicinity. “Granisetron.”

Granisetron. If his best friends weren’t paramedics, Buck would be completely clueless as to what the medication is.

“I looked it up. It’s—”

“Anti-nausea meds,” Buck finishes for TK, worry still etched on his face but now accompanied with confusion. “It’s prescribed to those who take cancer treatments. TK, what is this about?”

“I found them in dad’s office.”

Buck’s completely silent. Honestly, it takes a moment for the implication to sink in his head. TK’s found medication for cancer treatment in Owen’s office. Cancer treatment, Owen. Cancer, Owen. The message is glaringly obvious, but Buck doesn’t want to bring himself to the very clear conclusion; Owen has cancer.

“There’s gotta be a mistake. Maybe it’s not his?”

“Right, Buck. Dad has someone else’s meds in _his_ office.” TK sighs, and Buck can just see his little brother dragging a hand down his face. “Buck. You know what this means. Dad—”

“No.”

“Buck—”

“NO.” Buck knows he’s being unreasonable, but he refuses to believe that someone else he cares about so much has an uncurable illness. “There has to be an explanation.”

“Well, I’m about to get one. Dad’s pulling up now. I’ll call you back, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Buck hears one more sigh from TK before he hangs up the phone. Buck sets the device down gently, closes his eyes tight to cool the heat burning in them, and breathes in deeply before moving to stand on his one working foot and hobble his way towards Eddie’s kitchen.

“I’m worried about him, Edmundo.” Buck stops just before walking in. Eddie and Gwen are standing by the sink, mutually washing dishes. He’s glad he left his crutches by the couch, or else the pair would’ve heard Buck’s approach. “I know I haven’t been in his life for a while, but a mother knows her child. And anyone with eyes can see that Evan is not okay. Even a blind person could see that my boy is far from okay.”

 _Far from okay?_ Buck really doubts his condition is _that_ bad.

Eddie offers a consoling hand, rubbing soothing circles on Gwen’s back. “Don’t worry, Ms. Buckley, Buck is in good hands.”

“Oh, I have no doubt about that. I thank you so much, Edmundo, for taking care of Evan when I’m not there for him. Like now, I should be staying here instead of getting ready for a trip to China.” Gwen slumps her shoulders and then perks up a bit. “A trip! If I know Evan, I know seeing TK always brightens his mood. Ed—”

“I already have a trip to Texas planned. My vacation is in a few days, and I figured Chris would love a little road trip—”

Eddie startles at the hug Gwen gives him but returns it just as wholeheartedly.

“Thank you, Edmundo. Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure Ms. Buckley.”

“Please, call me Gwen. There’s no need for the formalities.”

It’s this moment Buck’s balance decides to give way, and he now regrets leaving his crutches by the couch. All he can do is curse his luck as he topples to the floor with a hard, painful smack. He groans from the pain that rolls in waves over his body, starting at his foot and spreading all the way to his head. He presses his fingers against his head and winces from the tenderness. When he withdraws them, they’re painted crimson.

“Thought you’d be on the truck.” Every muscle in his body tenses. He moves his gaze up, and through the smoky haze that he doesn’t remember being there before, Buck can see that Freddie and Bobby stand over him, not Gwen and Eddie.

“I’m here now.” Bobby moves forward, and Buck opens his mouth to tell his Cap to stop, to take a step back. He finds himself in too much pain to do so. “What’s next? This what you wanted?”

“I wanted you dead.” Buck wants this over. He doesn’t want to live through it again.

“I get that. What about them? What about him?” Buck looks up through his eyelashes to meet Freddie’s gaze of distaste and disappointment. “He’s got parents, brother, sister, a girlfriend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

“Collateral damage.” No. Buck’s not collateral damage. He doesn’t want to be collateral damage. He wants to live.

“That how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all of this—”

“Stop!” Freddie holds the detonator menacingly, burning Bobby to a crisp with his hateful glare. “One more step, we all go boom.”

“Freddie,” Bobby says calmly, but he does something that Buck doesn’t remember him doing before. His foot moves forward, and the sensation that follows is. . . beyond what words can describe. He sees a fiery blaze engulf Freddie, Bobby, him, and any other poor unfortunate soul caught in the blast. He feels the heat, eating away at his skin and leaving him in excruciating pain. He can feel his throat is way beyond sore as he screams and screams and screams, though that’s not the sound he hears before he slips away from the world.

The last thing he hears will forever ring in the back of his mind.

A very loud, resounding _boom!_

///////

“Buck!” His fist shoots out and bunches together a soft fabric, his eyes fly wide open to take in the orange glow the setting sun casts on the area. A fresh, cool breeze passes by him, and he’s hit with an overwhelming smell of pine. And Eddie’s concerned tone is echoing in his head. “Buck! Hey, we’re here.”

Here being the Airbnb Buck and Chris picked out the day Eddie brought up the discussion of where to stay in Austin. Buck lets out an exhausted groan as he stretches out the last remnants of sleepiness. He glances to the back to catch Chris still dozing soundly in his car seat.

“I’ll get Chris,” Buck says without hesitation, already maneuvering out of the vehicle despite Eddie’s protests. He’s by the back within seconds, fixing Eddie with a pointed look since there was no way Buck was about to struggle with getting the door open. Eddie fixes him with the same pointed look that he’s been making the entire time Buck’s been on crutches: _you NEED to be resting_. Like hell is Buck gonna do that.

“Do you need help, sweetheart?” The two cut away from their heated staring contest to take in the older woman and man looking at them kindly.

“Ah, yes please!” Buck answers with a bright smile before Eddie can even open his mouth. “He just has so much luggage to get and I don’t want him to fret about getting Chris out, but I can’t exactly get the door open.”

“Ah, you poor thing! George, help this kind man with the luggage!” the woman says to her husband, and he instantly rounds the truck with Eddie reluctantly following suit. The woman steps forward and gingerly opens the door.

“Thank, Mrs. . .”

“Marilyn. Please just call me Marilyn.”

“Thank you, Marilyn.” Buck leans into the car, stable on his crutches, and taps Chris on the cheek gently. “Chris! Hey, Superman, we’re in Texas!”

Christopher groans as he comes to, reaching up to rub at his eyes, and despite Buck having just announced that they’ve reached their destination, Chris asks in a small, tired voice, “Are we there yet?”

Marilyn chuckles as Buck moves to unbuckle Chris, and it’s a struggle to properly help him out of the truck without falling himself. “Hello, Chris, I’m Marilyn. How old are you?”

Chris looks up as Buck hands him his crutches, eyes wider now as the sleep wears off. “I’m seven.”

“You know, my grandson is seven, too. Would you like to come meet him?”

Buck’s already nodding when Chris looks to him for permission, and Marilyn leads the two to the house next door. Inside, there’s a little boy in the living room, surrounded by a sea of Legos.

“Colt.” The boy immediately looks up at the sound of his name. “I have a friend here who’d love to meet you.”

Colt jumps up, rushing towards the three, and takes in Christopher’s crutches before smiling brightly at him. “Hi!”

“Hello,” Chris says, almost shyly. “I’m Chris.”

“I’m Colt.” Colt looks over his shoulder, gesturing to the toys all over the floor. “Do you like Legos?”

Christopher’s smile brightens tremendously, and he nods enthusiastically. “I love Legos.”

“Well, come on!” And nothing warms Buck’s heart more than seeing Colt not only walk _with_ Chris over to the Legos but clear a space next to the spot he originally sat for Chris to play comfortably with him as well as help Chris with his crutches when he sinks to the floor.

“Your grandson is quite the gentleman,” Buck comments quietly as he looks from the two boys to Marilyn. She nods with a proud smile.

“As he should be.” She turns, fixing Buck with a warm smile. “And your son is just an absolute ray of sunshine. He’s so adorable.”

 _Your_ son. It’s happened again, and Buck should correct her, but honestly it feels just so good to hear the words echo in his mind. He offers a kind smile. “Thank you.”

And he moves to sit down on the floor when Chris insists that Buck join him and Colt in the building of a Lego city.

///////

“Eddie!” The man in question has the audacity to smile as Buck rounds the corner fast, dressed in a blouse and some jeans instead of the clothes he’d picked out to wear to bed before he hopped in the shower—which he did _NOT_ need Eddie’s help doing. Shower chairs were invented for a reason. “What the hell have you done with my clothes? Why am I dressed like I’m about to go to a club?”

And he finally takes in Eddie’s apparel. He, too, is wearing jeans and a similar blouse to Buck. However, as the design on Buck’s blouse is a maroon color and seems to match the color of his unique birthmark, the design on Eddie’s blouse is black and most definitely brings out the color of his eyes and his dark hair.

“Let me rephrase: why are _we_ dressed like we’re about to go to a club?”

And the audacity of his friend to give nothing more than a cryptic, “You’ll see.” He helps Buck get his shoes on and is leading him out the door towards the truck with the same big, mischievous smile on his face.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“It’s so hot! I’m burning up!”_

_“Help is on the way!”_

///////

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Something’s not right. Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just me?” Buck shakes his head tremendously as the men on stage begin to strip out of the firefighter uniforms to the sounds of Nelly’s _Hot in Herre_ and the cheering of many, many women.

“I hate you.” Eddie throws his head back and barks out a laugh as the men begin to dance very well on stage. “I hate you so much.”

“I love you, too, Buck.”

Buck looks to Eddie with a smirk, tossing back another shot before leaning in closely. “Brought me here to spill your deepest darkest secret, Eds? Were you on this stage, gyrating for the ladies?”

Buck expects Eddie to smile and laugh off the joke. Instead, the older man tosses back his own shot and fixes Buck with an intense gaze. After a few seconds, in which Buck almost squirms under the tension, Eddie’s mouth twitches upwards with a smirk.

“The world may never know. . .”

And he sits back with an even bigger smirk. _The little cocky—_ Buck turns, glancing back on stage at the exact moment the men tear off their pants. Buck stills, because that moment coupled with the imagination that Eddie has left in his mind. . . Buck should turn away before he gets in dangerous territory of needing a bathroom break. As he turns though, he notices a certain action that makes his eyes widen.

“I think one of them just winked at me!”

And that sends Eddie into a laughing fit.

“I’m serious man!”

“It must be that impeccable charm you claim to have.”

Buck feigns a look of being appalled, and lands a punch to Eddie’s arm, which doesn’t faze him, of course.

A resounding ‘oh’ echoes amongst the party goers, and both Eddie and Buck smile in confusion before glancing up front where the cheering woman have begun to throw punches and pull hair.

Buck’s mouth drops open in surprise. “I looked away for one second!”

“Women,” Eddie says with a shake of his head, to which the two giggle like children. “We should probably try to help break up that fight before this entire club is throwing down.”

Which had to be one of Eddie’s worst ideas ever. Sure, Buck was all for helping keep people calm and out of harms way. He was not for getting hit with a face full of glitter by the glitter hose. Not for it at all.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Yeah, send help. They’re out of control. Oh no, not the tiara!”_

///////

“So, Buck, what brings you to a club like this?”

“Oh, you know, my best friend deciding his form of entertainment is bringing me to a strip club.”

“It sure is.” Buck can’t see Eddie, due to the glitter, but judging by the sound of his voice, Eddie’s standing right in front of him. He reaches out to his right, patting Josie on what feels like her arm.

“That would be my friend.”

“My best friend brought me here, too.” She replies, and Buck can hear the smile in her voice. “She’s the one who started the fight.”

“I’ll remember to thank her for such an entertaining night.” Eddie hisses when Buck’s good leg jerks out and connects with the man’s shin.

“Well, what do we have here?” Buck doesn’t recognize the voice. It’s slightly deep, and Buck guesses it’s either a police officer or a firefighter.

“We have a man and a women down,” Eddie responds. He waits a beat. “What?”

“Sorry, it’s just. . . you look familiar.” He can hear the man move, and he doesn’t know who he’s stepping towards, but just in case, Buck gestures to Josie.

“Start with her first, I can wait.” Always the gentlemen.

He hears Eddie scoff, and he can imagine him rolling his eyes. “Of course, you can. Hey, can I see that? Don’t worry, I’m a firefighter too.”

He hears a shuffle and the man’s voice speaks up again. “How did this happen exactly?”

Buck feels a cool liquid drop on his face and it relieves him when he can blink open his eyes.

“I tried to break up the fight, Buck tried to warn me, and some crazy chick blasted the both of us with a glitter hose.”

“Thanks man,” Eddie says lowly, handing ‘Strickland’ back his bag before helping Buck up onto his feet. They move away from Josie and Strickland, heading towards the door, when they bump into familiar faces.

Buck swears under his breath as his brother catches sight of Buck and Eddie, a smile growing wide on his face.

“Bucky!” Owen turns as well, eyebrows raised at the sight of him being in this specific club of all places. “Just what are you doing in a club like this?”

Buck scoffs, puffing his chest. “Maybe I like club’s like this. Is that a problem?”

“Uh, um, amazing work, Cap.” The four eyes turn to the lead stripper, in nothing but a helmet and a hot pink speedo. He’s got an outstretched hand towards Owen. TK smirks, glancing back at Buck and Eddie as Owen steps forward with a nod, shaking the man’s hand.

“Well, thank you, _Captain_.”

TK chuckles, turning towards the exit as well. “Nope, Buck. No problem at all.”

Buck deflates, shoulders slumped as he and Eddie follow TK out the door. “He is never gonna let me live this one down.”

///////

Buck hates hospitals. He just really hates them. Everything about being here makes his nerves all jittery. Or maybe that’s just because Owen, his dad, is sitting across from him, watching TK bounce his leg rapidly and Buck bites his nails subconsciously through hooded eyes, making him look so exhausted.

“Guys.”

The two perk up, like freaking dogs, at Owen’s whisper. Their puppy dog eyes fixate on him and Owen can’t help but smile in adoration.

“You need something?” TK asks, and it sets off a whirlwind between the two of them. “I got peppermint oil—”

“I have water—”

“—or, uh, saltines—”

“—granola—”

“—ginger chews—”

“—magazine—”

“—headphones. . .”

Owen raises an eyebrow at the two. “You’re freaking out.”

Buck slumps immediately, a frown on his face. “I’m definitely freaking out.”

At the same time, TK shakes his head defiantly. “I’m not freaking out.” Both Buck and Owen fix him with a pointed look, and he sighs as well, placing the offered headphones back in his bag. “I’m kind of freaking out.”

Owen chuckles, despite the two of them looking like kicked puppies. “It’s okay. I was too the first time.” Neither speak up, and Owen offers a reassuring smile. “Hey. Thanks for being with me.”

Buck nods. “Of course.”

TK leans forward, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with everything on your own. To juggle it with the job, that’s insane.”

Owen shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “It’s been a lot, but. . .”

“But now you’ve got us.” Buck lets his gaze narrow. “And we’re going to be with you every step of the way so no more secrets, dad. Got it?”

He smiles and nods, eyes catching something across the room. He lets his eyes close as he grimaces. “Oof.”

TK perks up immediately. “You nauseous?”

Owen opens his eyes, nodding his head. “I will be when the advice starts.”

Buck and TK only have enough time to frown in confusion when an older gentleman comes strolling into the area.

“Captain Strand!” He reaches out to shake Owen’s hand with a bright smile. “Good to see ya.”

“How you doing?”

“Alright. Good to see ya.”

“This is TK and Buck, my boys.” TK and Buck stand respectively, waiting to shake the man’s hand.

“Oh, so you finally came clean. Good for you.” He turns and faces TK first. “Howdy! Wayne Gettinger.”

“Hi,” TK says, with a kind smile.

“You got your pops QB-1 looks.” He moves to Buck, who shakes his hand enthusiastically with a bright smile.

“Nice to meet you, sir.”

“And you got your pops charming personality.” Wayne looks back over his shoulder at Owen. “Lucky boys.”

The two wait until Wayne is situated to sit down themselves, raised like the true gentlemen they are today.

“So, y’all local? Uh, or are you just coming to visit the old man?”

“TK and I work together,” Owen offers, eyes still closed in relaxion. “Buck works for the 118 down in Los Angeles.”

Owen raises his eyebrows. “So y’all are both firefighters as well?”

Buck nods and TK smiles with a “yes sir”. He honestly grateful Wayne doesn’t mention the cast on Buck’s leg.

“Boy, the trouble y’all must get up to, huh?” Wayne, Buck, and TK chuckle. “Austin, lock up your daughters.”

Owen smiles quietly. Buck casts his eyes downward and tries not to think about his budding crush on his best friend, who’s definitely a man. As for TK, he offers a small smile.

“Actually, I play for the other team.”

“Oh.” Buck looks up through his eyelashes to gage Wayne’s reaction. He’s definitely surprised, and for a moment, the bright smile of his is gone and Buck’s worried that they’re about to have an issue. “‘Lock up your sons’ don’t sound quite right, does it? Heh.” The three men are quiet, not offering a response. “Aw, hell, I don’t judge.” The tension in Buck’s shoulders fall, and he holds up his head once more. “Important thing is, we play when we can. Ain’t that right, Captain? Huh? Cause Lord knows we don’t get out on the playing field much.”

Owen, eyes open wider than before, furrows his eyebrows at Wayne comically. “Uh, speak for yourself, Coach. I get on the field plenty.”

“Oh, now, you don’t have to puff up for me. I mean, there’s no shame in it.” Buck covers the laugh bubbling up in his throat with a subtle cough. Very subtle.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”

“Wait.” TK’s smiling himself, looking on the verge of laughing as well. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, the treatment that we get here can. . . Well, it can, uh. . . make the ‘little soldier’,” Buck _coughs_ yet again as Owen looks at Wayne with what he can only describe as a mix of surprise and appall. “Let’s say, um. . . take an extended furlough.”

Both TK and Buck laugh, and Owen fixes his gaze on them with wide, defensive eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with my little soldier. Perfectly healthy and active. It’s a patriot!” Buck and TK continue to quietly chuckle as Owen relaxes once more, letting his eyes close. “And always ready to stand at attention.”

“Yeah, may seem like that now, but. . . don’t be too shocked if a day comes real soon and it turns out to be a deserter.”

Owen’s eyes fly open, landing on TK pointedly. “Okay, I’ll take those headphones.”

TK and Buck continue their chuckles even after Owen has placed the headphones over his ears.

///////

_“So, how’s it going?”_

“Well, Chris has made friends with the neighbor’s grandson. TK and Owen are doing okay, though I’m absolutely worried about Owen. He seems to be doing fine though.” Buck pauses and adds as an afterthought. “I got hit in the face with a glitter hose.”

Maddie splutters on her end of the line. _“Hit with a. . ? Care to elaborate?”_

“Well, see, we were at this strip club—”

_“You were at a strip club? With Eddie!?”_

“Yes, Mads, keep up.” Buck shakes his head and rolls his eyes at her dramatics. “Anyway, the guys were up on-stage dancing and whatever—”

_“So, you mean to tell me, you and Eddie were at a strip club, with male strippers? Where was Chris?”_

“Chris was with the neighbors. I asked Eddie about it too, but he has this trust in Marilyn. Plus, apparently, she has a nephew with the same condition so she was all aware of how to take care of Christopher.”

_“So, what I’m hearing is you and Eddie went to strip club. Just the two of you. Together.”_

“In matching blouses,” Buck mutters.

_“In matching—wait, you wore matching blouses!?”_

“I mean, his was black and mines was maroon but the design of it was pretty much the same.”

_“. . . So, you went on a date.”_

The mouthful of water Buck contained ended up all over the floor. He blinks for a second, and then begins to shake his head feverishly. “No, it wasn’t a date, Mads. Eddie’s not. . . I’m not. . . it wasn’t a date!”

 _“Buck, you wore matching outfits, went out to a club, presumably had a great time despite getting hit with the glitter hose. . . if that’s not a date, then what is it?”_ Buck doesn’t have an answer. So, he quietly uses his good foot to wipe up the water with a napkin as best as he can in defeat. _“Mhm. Thought so. Anyways, are there any plans for today?”_

Buck let’s his shoulders sag in defeat, already knowing the teasing that he’s about to start up once again. “Eddie says he has a surprise for Chris and me so he’s taking us out a little later.”

Buck cringes and holds the phone away from his ear as Maddie cries out about yet another date.

*****

“YAY!” Chris cheers as Eddie helps him out of the truck. The moment he’s on steady ground, he’s rounding the truck fast, eager to get inside the movie theatre.

“Woah, Chris, hold up.” Buck smiles slyly at the little boy, gesturing in Eddie’s direction with his thumb. “We have to wait for the elderly.”

“Oh, ha ha. See if you get any popcorn with that attitude.” Eddie smirks and strides next to Chris with exaggerated ease, just to prove Buck’s point that he is _not_ elderly.

“Oh, I’m getting popcorn. Whether you like it or not.”

“We’ll see.” Christopher chuckles in between the two as they stride up to the ticket booth with bright smiles. “Three tickets for the Jungle Book.”

Buck’s heart swells tremendously. Eddie knows Buck’s profound love for the movie which he managed to spread to Chris, and he remembers mentioning to him how he’s never gotten around to watching the live action, which came out just a few years prior. It makes him smile and he has to bite his lip to hide it. And as they enter the theatre laughing and joking like a family, Buck has to wonder. . .

_Was it a date?_

_Is **this** a date?_

_Is Eddie trying to convey something?_

The world may never know. . .

///////

“You were on a shift!”

“No excuses! You went to see the Jungle Book without me! No cookies!” TK moves the plate from Buck’s reach and he sighs, sticking his tongue out.

“Well, we’re going out now! Doesn’t that make up for it?”

“I’m inviting you, Buck. It’s not the other way around.”

The doorbell rings and Buck perks up immediately, mainly eager to meet the man that’s caught TK’s eye. “I’ll get it!”

“Like hell you will!” TK rushes forward at the same time Buck hops up from the stool. And somehow, to Eddie’s amusement, the two end up entangled on the floor.

“How bout I get the door?” Eddie says with a smile, stepping over the two and shaking his head. “Buck, be mindful of your leg.”

“Gotcha, Eds!”

Eddie was all for being the responsible one, but deep down, he’s also playful. That’s why, when he opened the door to a man as tall as him asking for TK, he very seriously says, “TK is currently entangled with a man on the kitchen floor.”

The man, who introduced himself as Carlos, blinks in confusion. “What?”

“Yeah, a very handsy game of Twister—”

“Ow! Buck, did you fucking bite me!?”

“—which is apparently getting a bit out of hand.” Carlos furrows his eyes tremendously. Eddie’s smile widens as he offers a hand. “Oh, where are my manners? Lo siento. I’m Eddie, friend of TK.”

Carlos respectively shakes Eddie’s hand, though he still has a look of confusion on his face when Eddie invites him in, shutting the door behind them. When they get back into the kitchen, TK and Buck are still tangled together, though on Buck’s end, it looks purposeful.

“What is going on here?”

Buck cranes his neck to get a good look at Carlos and smiles. “So, you’re the one who’s been canoodling with my brother.”

Carlos nods, a bit of the tension leaving his shoulders at the mention of ‘brother’. Meanwhile, Buck yelps as TK drives his elbow—not that hard, as clearly he’s also being conscientious of Buck’s injury—into Buck’s side, effectively causing him to release his hold on TK. The younger one jumps up before Buck as a chance to pull him back down.

“You’re not gonna help me up?”

“You found your way down, you can find your way back up.”

“Is it always like this?” Carlos whispers, leaning closer to Eddie.

“No.” Eddie shakes his head with an exasperated smile. “They’re much worse when neither are injured.”

“Eddie! Help me up!” Eddie shakes his head fondly, moving to help Buck off the floor with a struggle.

*****

Buck can say for a fact that the club Carlos picked out is a hell of a lot better than the one Eddie picked out. When Buck relayed that sentiment to Eddie, the man just laughed at the memory of the night.

And the memory of the night has him thinking back to Maddie’s words. And somewhere deep down, he wants to know. That’s why Buck’s leaning close into Eddie’s space, the two of them at the edge of the dance floor to prevent any accident with Buck. . . again.

“Hey, Eds!”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“I told Maddie about the night at the club. . . She’s convinced that you took me on a date.”

Eddie’s eyebrow raises, but he doesn’t say anything in response to it.

“Was it?”

Eddie’s eyes sparkle in the luminescent lighting, and the smirk on his face is wide. “What do you think it was, Buck?”

That’s the million-dollar question that Buck is determined to figure out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again guys, with another chapter. I don't really have any exciting news so I'm going to hop straight into the warnings. The warnings for this chapter includes PTSD, mentions of bomb threats and near death experience, home invasion, shooting. If you feel like anything added, feel free to let me know and I will add it in there.
> 
> Alright, on with the chapter.

“Hey, Eds!”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“I told Maddie about the night at the club. . . She’s convinced that you took me on a date.”

Eddie’s eyebrow raises, but he doesn’t say anything in response to it.

“Was it?”

Eddie’s eyes sparkle in the luminescent lighting, and the smirk on his face is wide. “What do you think it was, Buck?”

That’s the million-dollar question that Buck is determined to figure out. He wants to— _needs_ to—know that Eddie feels the way he feels. A burning desire lingering at the back of his mind and in the pit of his stomach.

 _Yes._ Buck wants to tell Eddie. _It was a date._

A date he thoroughly enjoyed, even if he got sprayed in the face with glitter. Because Eddie was there, and Eddie just makes Buck feel so content and happy. But why tell Eddie this? In the middle of this club, with the atmosphere of non-judgmental partygoers and the lights illuminating Eddie’s face in such an appealing effect. . . Why tell Eddie when Buck can show him?

Eddie’s already close, so Buck closes the small amount of distance left. Eddie’s got his arm snaked around Buck, holding him close, not letting the tall man drift away. Their lips. . . brush together teasingly, and it’s all a bet of who’ll give in first. And surprisingly—to Buck—it’s Eddie who loses the battle. It’s Eddie to close that last bit of distance between them and press his lips to Buck’s, a soft, but hungry kiss which the two get lost in.

And it’s just the two of them.

Buck.

And Eddie.

Buck and Eddie.

Buck. . .

Buck. . .

“Buck!” His eyes fly open, and in front of him is the illuminated streets of Los Angeles, the road leading to Station 118. He can still feel the ghost of Eddie’s lips on his, even if it was all in his head, and he runs his tongue along his bottom lip. “Man, don’t go to sleep on me now, we just pulled off.”

On the road ahead of them is the engine, just about to turn the corner.

“We have to—”

_“118! 118! This is dispatch! We’ve got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it’s important.”_

“Oliver, we have to—”

“Hold on, Buck, I’m trying to hear what dispatch is saying,” Oliver says, shrugging off Buck’s hand.

“Oliver—”

But it’s too late. The ladder truck is turning the corner before suddenly leaning onto its side from a tremendous blast. The world before him spins and when he hits the ground, the world goes completely black.

///////

Buck jerks awake suddenly, not surprised to find Eddie hovering over him, face etched with concern.

“Hey, you okay there?” Judd drawls, a frown etched on his face as well.

“Yeah,” Buck shakes his head, purposefully avoiding the pointed look he knows TK is sending his way, as he moves to stand up with the help of Eddie. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Judd doesn’t ask for any further explanation. Instead, he strides to Buck’s side—the one Eddie’s not on—and also assists Buck as the group of five (him, Eddie, Judd, TK, and Paul) begin to head back downstairs.

“So,” Judd starts, dragging out the ‘o’ in his Texan drawl that Buck secretly loves to listen to. “Me and my friends are having a little game tonight. We got a few chairs left. Any of y’all looking to join?”

Eddie nods, raising an eyebrow at Buck. “Sounds good, how about you, Buck?”

“Nah,” Buck shakes his head. “But you can go ahead. I’ll pick up Chris from Marilyn and hang out with him for the night.”

Eddie purses his lips, already shaking his head at Buck’s decline. “No, I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on you.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” TK says, looking back and smiling kindly at Eddie. “Besides, boys’ night with Buck and Chris sounds like a great time.”

Judd looks to at TK with mock appall. “You don’t wanna hang out at my place?”

“Absolutely not.”

Paul chuckles, and when Judd’s gaze moves to him he shakes his head immediately. “Nope. Don’t even ask.”

Paul and TK are the first to make it to the base of the steps, with Judd, Buck, and Eddie in tow. When he’s safely balanced on the floor, Eddie and Judd move from Buck’s side and the three follow behind Paul and TK at their own paces.

“Come on, there ain’t nothing to be afraid of.” Judd pleads much to TK and Paul’s amusement. “I promise y’all have fun.”

Paul scoffs with a shake of his head as he moves around in the kitchen. “Yeah, said the wolf to Red Riding Hood.”

“Seriously,” TK follows, nodding back at his brother. “And I’m sticking with my plans.”

“Hello, pretty boy,” Marjan says with a bright smile as Buck stops just by her, causing him to blush even though she’s just joking. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Uh, well,” Judd scratches at the back of his neck before caving. “I host a friendly little game of Texas Hold ‘Em with some firefighters from around town, and we had a few chairs open up for tonight’s game, so. . .” Judd slaps at the counter with both hands before leaning back. “Eddie opted to join in, TK, Buck, and Paul chickened out. How about you, Marwani? You wanna join?”

Marjan shakes her head. “Oh, gambling’s not really my jam,” she says before fixing Judd with a pointed look and gesturing to Mateo. “And don’t even ask Probie. He’s gotta study.”

Mateo glances up with an apologetic smile before going back to his books. Judd shakes his head in betrayal as Marjan and Paul leave for the night. “Here I thought y’all were my friends.”

“I’ll play!” The remaining five turn to look at Owen as he joins them in the kitchen.

Judd straightens immediately, scratching at the back of his neck once again. “Uh. . .”

Owen frowns at the sudden tension in the Texan. “Unless you don’t want me to.”

“No, it ain’t that! It’s just, y’know, I don’t. . . This really ain’t your scene, Cap, that’s all.” Judd shrugs, leaning back once more against the counter. “It’s just a bunch of Texas roughnecks talking smack and drinking cheap beer.”

TK smirks, holding up his bottle of mineral water to his lips. “Thought it was supposed to be a friendly game, Judd.”

Buck chuckles, bumping shoulders with his brother. “Right. I definitely wouldn’t have fit in.”

“What about Eddie?” Owen gestures to the man in question, who looks up with raised eyebrows. “He lives in Los Angeles; I doubt it’s his scene.”

Eddie scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “El Paso, born and raised, Cap.”

It’s Judd’s turn to raise his eyebrows as he offers Eddie a fist bump. Owen shrugs his shoulders. “Well, I think it’d be fun to hang out with the locals, play a little cards. . . Unless there’s some other reason you don’t want me to come.”

“No! Let’s do it!”

TK shakes his head and leans closer to Buck. “Can’t wait to hear how that game plays out.”

///////

“Where’s daddy?” Chris asks as TK picks up the phone, ordering the three some pizza.

“He’s out. He’ll be back,” Buck assures Chris, holding up the tv remote. “In the meantime, you, TK, and I are gonna have some fun.”

Fun they had. And if anyone passing by happened to catch a glance at the chaos ensuing inside the house, they might’ve called a mental institution out of concern. Or the cops on account of noise complaints from their awfully out-of-tune singing session of Miley Cyrus and the Spice Girls and Cyndi Lauper (if anyone asks Buck, it was all TK’s idea to sing _Girls Just Want to Have Fun_ ).

Somehow, after the building of their Lego city, a full-on war commenced. Many tiny Lego men put everything on the line, Lego’s were strewn about the room, and in the end, Christopher was crowned supreme lord of Diazopolis. However, Buck and TK put their differences aside and banded together to overthrow the cruel dictator in a surprise tickle attack, which ended the moment the pizza arrived.

They left no crumbs, and Buck could only describe the devouring as a pizza massacre. It was a competition of who could eat the most slices, which, of course, Buck was the champion. The effects of the competition, however, was extremely full bellies, which left all three splayed across the couch lazily. So, since none of them had the strength to move, it was movie time. TK, still salty about missing out on the Jungle Book, declared that he would choose the film to watch, which, in the long-run, Buck did not mind at all. TK picked out a newly released animated Spider-Man film that debuted the previous year, a film which both Chris and Buck enjoyed thoroughly.

It’s safe to say, when Buck returns to Los Angeles, he will be looking more into the Marvel franchise, especially since TK explained thoroughly that the charming old man was the creator and happened to show up in every film. He also, apparently, needs to have a major binge-watch of the cinematic universe, as (according to TK) the biggest movie of the franchise comes out in couple more months.

Chris learned that TK is ultimately a sore loser when it comes to video games, especially when he loses not only to Buck, but to the seven-year-old as well. Chris also learned that TK is apparently (according to Buck) a lightweight. After an unhealthy amount of cups of soda, TK ended up asleep in the bedroom Chris was occupying for the trip.

When Chris ended up calling TK a lightweight as well, following Buck’s lead, the older man hisses and immediately begins to explain to Chris that such a name is not to be repeated.

“Why?”

“Because. . .” How does Buck explain it to a seven-year-old? Simple, he doesn’t. “Because I said so. And also, because your dad would—no, will—kill me.”

“Daddy wouldn’t kill you. He loves you.”

If Buck stilled for just a moment, Chris—the ever-observant kid he is—didn’t speak up about it. “Yeah, I love Eddie, too. He’s my best friend.”

“Do you love him like he loved mommy?”

Again, if Chris noticed the tension within Buck, either he’s not saying anything about it, or the smart kid is purposefully doing it. “Uh. . .”

Buck honestly doesn’t know what to answer the question with. Luckily, Chris isn’t really looking for one. “Cause I think he loves you like he loved mommy.”

“O-kay!” Buck clears his throat and does his best to shuffle Chris in the direction of the bed. “It’s time for all the good boys and girls to go to sleep.”

When Eddie arrives later to a suspiciously clean house, he doesn’t get an answer on why Buck is as red as a tomato. Buck doesn’t think Eddie will ever know why.

///////

“Woo! That’s game, baby!” TK calls, smiling brightly at Judd who shakes his head and points accusingly at TK.

“No, it ain’t, cause you spun!”

“I did not spin!” TK says, looking at Buck who whistles at the foosball table instead of coming to his brother’s defense.

“Yeah, you did!”

“You spun.” Paul states from his spot on the couch, his eyes glued to his book.

“Eddie!” TK says, gesturing to the man in question for backup.

Eddie shakes his head, throwing his arms up as he approaches from the kitchen. “Hey, leave me out of this.”

“There’s no spinning.” Judd rounds the table with a look of disappointment. “That’s house rules.”

TK frowns. “Says who?”

“Anybody who respects the game.” The men all turn to face Marjan as she enters the lounging area, a stack of books in her hand. She smiles warmly at Buck, who settles by Paul on the couch, and Eddie, who leans against the couch to hover over Buck before setting each of them with a pointed gaze. “Doesn’t matter anyway, cause you’re calling it. Everybody come take one of these.”

They all frown, eyes squinting to get a good look at the books in her hands. Judd is the first to shake his head. “What, that’s the Austin FD Academy Manual? No. I memorized that chapter and verse when I was eighteen.”

Marjan rolls her eyes. “This isn’t a refresher. It’s for the probie. He has his final academy exam coming up, so everybody has some reading to do.”

Paul scoffs, actually glancing up from his book. “And what are we gonna do? Teach him by osmosis? Besides, I just started this book.”

TK sighs, nodding understandingly. “Probie’s dyslexic.” Judd’s eyebrow raises understandingly and Paul sighs before closing his book and setting it down. “It came up in his interview.”

Marjan nods. “This is his last chance to pass the test before he washes out.”

Paul stands, rounding the couch to stand by TK. “What do you need us to do?”

“Everybody is going to record themselves reading a different section of the manual for him to listen to.” Marjan looks down, pulling books out and handing them out. “TK, on-the-job scenarios. Paul, mathematics. Judd, fire science.”

Judd groans, setting the book aside. “No. How come I have to do the boring chemistry part?”

“Because with that drawl, you read the slowest.” The other guys chuckle as Marjan continues moving about the couch. “Eddie—”

“Eddie!?” Eddie raises an eyebrow in confusion, groaning as Buck chuckles happily. “But I’m on my vacation!”

“Which means you have the time!” Marjan holds the book out with a smirk.

“Lo siento. No hablo Inglés.”

“No te preocupes. Mateo también habla español con fluidez.” Buck barks out a laugh as Eddie sighs in defeat, taking the book and glancing through the pages. Marjan smiles down sweetly at Buck. “Don’t think I forgot about you pretty boy.”

She hands Buck the last copy, to which Eddie snorts in amusement as she makes her way back towards the stairs. “Alright, I’m gonna need those audio files by end of shift, so everybody warm up those pipes and get reading.”

She walks off with a bright smile and Buck grumbles as Eddie plops down next to him. “I don’t see her having a book to read.”

The other four mumble their agreement begrudgingly.

///////

“Ugh, I’m not reading another book for the next year,” Buck groans as he and Eddie slowly make their way from the room Chris is staying in to down the hall.

“Hey, it’ll have been worth it if the Probie passes.”

“Yeah, I guess so. . .” He pauses in confusion when Eddie leads him to the room he’s staying in instead of the room Buck is staying in. “Uh, Eddie. . ?”

“The other night, I got to meet Judd’s wife, Grace, a real lovely woman. She’s almost a mix of Hen and Athena.” Buck furrows his eyebrows, moving to sit down on the bed as Eddie nervously stands before him. “She was talking to me about Judd and how he lost his original team a few months back from an explosion. He suffered through nightmares for months until Cap made him go to a therapist.”

Buck sighs, nodding his head. “You want me to go see a therapist?”

“Not necessarily.” Buck frowns in confusion as Eddie moves to sit next to him. “She said counting breaths helped him overcome his PTSD.”

Buck looks up at Eddie’s hopeful gaze and he can’t help but nod. “Okay. What do I need to do?”

*****

_One_

He can feel the wave of dread washing over him. The men around have smiles on, unaware of the horror yet to come. Buck knows and sits silently watching the scene play out once again. Waiting, as the ladder truck rolls down the street. He swallows thickly as the engine turns the corner.

_“118! 118! This is dispatch! We’ve got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it’s important.”_

The ladder truck turns the corner and the resounding boom is heard as the world before he spins as it did before.

_Two_

He can feel the spike of fear and pain as he withdraws his fingers from his head, shiny and red. He cranes his neck down to solemnly look at his foot, crushed beneath the weight of the ladder truck. He groans as the pain from it finally rolls over him.

He can feel the fear as the person in front of him leans down close enough for Buck to make out the vest strapped to their body, detonator in hand.

“You’re new.”

_Three_

“What’s next?” Bobby’s voice rings loud and clear. “This what you wanted?”

“I wanted you dead.”

“I get that. What about them? What about him?” Freddie glances down at Buck, giving him a look of distaste and disappointment. “He’s got parents, brother, sister, a girlfriend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

“Collateral damage.” Those words. Those god-awful words had filled him up with fear of dying right there on that street because Freddie didn’t care about how his actions would hurt others.

“That how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all of this—”

“Stop!” He raises the detonator higher, more menacingly. “One more step, we all go boom.”

“Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I am sorry about that. But what you did with it, that’s a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb.”

“That lawyer, she—”

“Did her job! We were all doing our jobs.”

“Destroying my family. My mom and I lost everything. She was in so much pain.”

“Wanna make it worse? Wanna make her watch you die?”

Buck was scared. He can feel it now, watching Bobby scuffle with Freddie and knowing it can all end badly, just one push of the button and everyone’s dead. But Bobby wouldn’t let that happen, and he didn’t.

_Four_

When the truck rolls, and the unbearable pain washes over him, Buck wants nothing more than to make it stop. He wants out as he screams at the top of his lungs, his face wet with the tears that continually roll down his cheeks. The only thing that keeps him from opening his eyes and coming to the present is Eddie.

“Hang on, Buck.” Eddie’s voice is the clearest, seemingly louder than all the rest. “Hang on there, Buddy.”

He hadn’t even realized that he’s already out from under the truck and being rolled onto the ambulance to be transported.

_Five_

“Buck, you injure anything else and I will pummel you right here, in this very hospital.”

This is what makes all the pain go away, the sight and sound of Eddie and Chris being there for him in the end. They’re always there in the end. “You can’t beat up patients.”

“We’re in the hospital, they have the means to fix you up after I do so.” He watches every movement Eddie makes, almost as if he’s afraid he’s gonna wake up and Eddie won’t be there. “Glad to see you doing a lot better, though. Station hasn’t been the same without you.”

“I bet.” He smiles wide. “It’s missing my impeccable charm.”

“Ah, that would be me. I’m the impeccable charm. I was just saying how the house is missing it’s Dalmatian.”

“Ouch, Eddie. You’re lucky I’m in a hospital bed.”

“Yeah!” Buck smiles even wider as he reaches out to give Chris a high five.

“Turn my own son against me. That’s cruel. Seriously, though, it hasn’t been the same. Bobby’s back. Chim and Hen are partners again. . . I’m missing mine.” _I’m not going anywhere, Eds._ “I, uh, I met your mom.”

“My mom was here?”

“Yeah, I made quite the impression.”

“Daddy ran into her and accidentally spilled his coffee all over her shirt!”

“I mean, that’s one way to meet my mom, Eds.”

“She went home to go change her clothes. She was so nice about it. I see why you’re so good with people.”

“I’m telling you, it’s my impeccable charm.”

Eddie’s laugh is music to Buck’s ears. “Alright, keep telling yourself that, Buckaroo. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

*****

When Buck opens his eyes, he finds Eddie leaning against the bathroom door frame, a small smile on his lips. “Good morning, Buck.” Morning? Buck sits up, in the bed that Eddie also sleeps in, and blushes slightly as he notices that sunlight trickles into the room. “You slept through the whole night. Not a single nightmare, and nothing but a smile on your face.”

And that’s because a part of him knew that Eddie would be waiting there for him.

“Good morning, Buck!”

Eddie and Chris. They’ll always be there.

///////

When Mateo steps out of the elevator, he’s surprised to find his friends there, waiting for him with anticipation. “You guys are here? On your day off?”

“Well, we may not be on a shift, but we never take a day off from being the 126.” Owen says, giving Mateo a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, so if it’s good news, we’ll go get some beers, and if it’s bad news, uh, we’ll go drink some whiskey.” Judd the grimaces and adds as an afterthought, “Or maybe some soda or orange juice in some cases.”

Chris lets out an adorable laugh as Judd rubs his neck sheepishly under Eddie’s pointed glare.

“Or mineral water,” TK adds with a smirk and the shake of his head. He turns his gaze from Judd to Owen. “Some of us will be having mineral water either way.”

Marjan nods before turning her serious gaze back onto Mateo. “So, how’d it go?”

“That guy was a total dick.” It’s Mateo’s turn to rub his neck sheepishly under Eddie’s glare as Chris laughs adorably. “Sorry. He tried to make me feel like an idiot with every question. I mean, my face got all hot and everything started getting all blurry.”

“That’s a bunch of—” Paul cuts a glance to a smiling Chris, to Eddie’s pointed look, and back to Mateo. “—bs, Probie.”

“We can contest the results.”

“That’s probably not a good idea, Cap.” Mateo shrugs. “I kinda told him we’d be dead soon.”

Everyone raises their eyebrows in surprise.

“Whoa! That is dark, Probie.”

“That’s what Marjan taught me. Monumental Moriarty, right?”

Marjan looks dumbfounded as everyone turns to her and she shakes her head with wide eyes. Owen turns to her in confusion. “You mean like the Sherlock Holmes guy?”

“I think some parts might have got lost in translation.” Marjan says sheepishly. “Did it help?”

“Hell yeah.” A smile works its way onto Mateo’s face. “I got a ninety-two percent.”

“What!?”

“Whoa!”

“My man!”

“That is what I’m talking ‘bout, Mateo!”

“Congratulations, Mateo!”

“It was all because of you, Marjan.”

Marjan smiles kindly. “No, it was because of you, Mateo.”

Mateo smiles brightly. “Hey, you called me Mateo.”

“Shhh! Don’t ruin it.”

///////

Buck has to be honest; he’s going to definitely miss hanging out in Austin when they eventually have to return to Los Angeles. But he misses his family back home even more. He wants to get back to them, get back to his job, because the one thing he’s good at is saving lives.

“You coming, Buck?” Eddie asks as he leads Chris towards the bathroom, getting ready to get the boy ready for bed.

“You go on, I’ll be there.” Eddie and Chris head down to the bathroom and Buck begins to head that way, too, but something catches his eye. From his view from the window, he can see Marilyn and her family unloading their car, which is normal, except for the fact that there’s already a light on inside the house as well as movement. But no one else lives in that house except Marilyn, George, and Colt. “Shit!”

He doesn’t think, just rushes. And halfway to the door, he decides _fuck it_ and tosses his crutches aside, because the darn things are slowing him down. And it may hurt, but he does his best to run/hop out the door and towards Marilyn and her family, just as they’re opening the door and stepping inside.

“Marilyn! Marilyn!” He doesn’t have time to explain. Whoever’s in the house is going to come for them, so he does the sensible thing. He rushes them to the bedroom and locks the door, urging Marilyn to call 9-1-1.

“Buck! What’s going on!?” Marilyn and George look at him with concern as he hisses and sinks onto the bed to take the weight off his bad foot, and Colt cowers slightly as a voice calls out from down the hall.

“There’s an intruder in the house.”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

///////

“I’m giving you fair warning!” Buck breathes heavily, eyes wide as George squares his shoulders and keeps the gun trained on the door. The pounding continues heavily, and Buck does his best to calm Colt as Marilyn cries shakily into her phone. “I have a gun and I will shoot if you come in here!”

“Amy!” the man says once more, something that utterly confuses Buck. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with the guy, but there’s certain no Amy in here. The guy pounds harder against the door. “AMY! Amy! Amy, are you okay!? Amy, answer me!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Buck wraps his arms around both Marilyn and Colt as she begins to cry. “It’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. The police will be here soon. I promise.”

And as if someone were listening to his words, the knocking suddenly stops. The man on the other side goes quiet. The four occupants in the room breathe heavily, waiting for something to happen.

“Amy!” They all jump as the man shouts once more, but there’s no knock this time which means he’s moved away from the door at least. The man falls quiet once more. They again wait for something to happen, anything.

Marilyn, Colt, and Buck startle when the gun clatters to the ground along with George.

“Shoot!” Buck hops up, moving over to George’s side.

“George? George!” Marilyn rushes over as well, and Buck gestures to the phone in her hand.

“Tell them what’s happening, Marilyn.” He quickly begins chest compressions, his heart aching at the sound of the cry Colt lets out from the corner. He can hear the sirens from outside, and reassures Marilyn that it’s gonna be okay, that nobody is dying tonight. Nobody.

Not a few moments later, there’s a knock again at the door. “Austin Fire and Rescue!”

Marilyn lets out a shaky cry. “Please help! He’s not breathing!”

And Buck wishes, in that moment of relief, that he remembered that he’d locked the door. Maybe then, Colt—still scared out of his mind and reeling over the intrusion—wouldn’t have rushed forward faster than Buck and Marilyn could comprehend. He’s picked up the gun, faces the door the same way George had, and aims.

“No! NO! Colt!” It’s too late. Buck is reaching forward at the same time the door swings open, and the loud pop of the gun rings in the air.

A spray of blood paints the wall in the hallway. And Buck is frozen as the man grunts, stumbling and catching himself on the doorframe. His gaze moves from the gun pointed at him, to the kid holding it, to Buck who stumbles over quickly, horror written all over his face.

The shock wears off quickly, and the pain comes not a moment later, as his grip on the door handle loosens and he falls back. His name bounces off the wall continually. His friends are calling his name in concern, but none ring louder than the two men related to him.

“TK!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, back again. With another chapter. I hope things have been going great for you guys. I've got just a few warnings that include references to a shooting, mentions of attempted suicide, and passing out. And now, on with the chapter.

“Dad,” Chris cocks his head to the side, eyes looking down the hall in betrayal. “I thought Buck was gonna help.”

Eddie frowns with a shake of his head, though it’s all with fondness. One thing he’s come to love besides his son is his son’s relationship with Buck and the love the two have for each other. “He was supposed to. Buck!” He waits a beat and gets no answers in return, just the loud hum of what sounds like an engine. And Eddie finally lets that sink in; the blue and red dancing across the walls, the sound of an engine being outside, and ~~his~~ one missing Buck. “Buck?”

He rounds the corner, eyes catching the discarded crutches before moving to the open door and settling on the engine and ambulance waiting outside. And then it rings out, drowning Eddie in a wave of fear, a gunshot. “Damn it, Buck.”

“Daddy?” He doesn’t give Chris the time to ask the question. He scoops his son into his arms and practically sprints out the door, making a beeline for the nearest officer, who happens to be Carlos.

“Carlos!” The young man turns at the sound of his name, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of Eddie and Chris. “What’s going on?”

“A big misunderstanding,” Carlos mutters, eyes darting to an older man in a tight embrace with what appears to be his wife. His turns back, about to explain to Eddie the situation when he stops, eyes glued to something ahead of them.

Eddie turns his gaze as well, stilling at the sight Buck approaching with the help of Mateo. He shakes with what looks like shock, tears staining his cheeks, as he looks down at his blood-caked hands. Eddie’s eyes widen tremendously, and he passes Chris over to Carlos before rushing forward, hands reaching out to steady his friend.

“Buck? ¿Qué pasa?” Eddie holds up Buck’s hands, looking for a cut that he should have enough common sense to know isn’t there, or else Buck would’ve been rolled out on a stretcher. “What happened?”

“He’s been shot, Eddie.” Buck says it quietly, but his eyes finally move up to meet Eddie’s, full of sorrow and worry. “TK’s been shot.”

///////

_Buck hisses as he drops the very hot bag of popcorn, cradling his fingers close to him and blowing on them before reattempting to pick up the bag, this time carefully. With as much strength as he can muster, using the very tips of his fingers as to not burn himself again, he tears the bag open, dumps the contents into a bowl, and tosses the bag aggressively as though it will bite at his fingers again with hot teeth._

_“TK! The popcorn’s ready! Hurry up in there!” Buck calls as he carries the bowl over to the couch, all set up for a movie. He frowns when TK doesn’t respond, stilling in his movements. “You’re not taking a shit are you?”_

_Usually TK would retort with some quip, along the lines of either **real funny, Buck** or **ooh, you said a swear word** —as if TK himself doesn’t drop a few terms that would earn him a bar of soap. Tonight, however, TK remains eerily silent._

_“TK?” Buck sets the remote down, moving over to the bathroom door and knocking hard. “Hey! What’s going on in there?”_

_He tries the knob, locked. “TK!” He’s watched Owen long enough to back up just enough, lean back slightly, and put all his force into the kick at the door. It swings open and crashes against the wall loudly, giving Buck a view of his little brother lying on the floor, unconscious. “TK!”_

_He drops down next to TK’s limp body, cradling the boy’s head in his own hands. He slaps at his cheeks, willing his brother to open his damn eyes. “TK!” TK remains unconscious, mouth falling open yet no air coming out. He glances up, and finally takes notice of the pill bottles strewn about the bathroom floor. Buck gently lowers TK’s head back down and fishes his phone out of his pocket. “Damn it, TK!”_

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

///////

“Y’know,” Buck doesn’t look up, but he knows it’s Eddie just from the sound of his voice. “In order to get the snack, you have to put the money in and choose the snack you want.”

Buck gives a half-hearted scoff in return, sighing as he turns away from the vending machine. “I don’t know if I can go in there, Eds.”

“Why not?” Eddie moves forward, eyebrow raised at Buck. “You’ve done it before, Buck. And I understand the pain of seeing someone you love in the hospital, but—”

“He’s not awake.” Buck blurts out, choking back a sob threatening to spill. “Every other time, he was always awake. So why the hell is he not waking up now?”

“He’ll wake up, Buck. If there’s one thing I learned about you two, it’s that you’ve got the worst luck, but you’ll always be okay in the end.” Eddie fixes Buck with a pointed look, glancing back towards the room where the rest of the 118 waits, along with Carlos and Chris. “TK will wake up. And he’ll want his brother by his side when he does.”

*****

Buck’s biggest fear is that when TK wakes up Buck won’t be there by his side. The fear grows as the days draw closer to the time Buck and Eddie and Chris have to leave and TK remains asleep. He sighs as he glances back to Chris’ sleeping form and reaches for the remote, turning down the volume of the tv. When he turns back, Owen and a blonde woman are standing in the doorway, offering sad smiles in greeting.

Buck doesn’t really trust his voice all that much, as he hadn’t really talked much over the past few days, so the most he gives the woman and Owen is a nod in greeting.

Owen rubs his hands along the front of his jeans, gesturing to Buck politely. “This is my oldest, Buck. Buck, this is Zoe.

Buck stands respectively, reaching over TK to over his hand. They shake briefly, and he sits back down, immediately cursing himself for not offering a chair. Neither of the two seem to mind, however.

“They’re calling it a level two coma,” Owen starts after clearing his throat, turning to Zoe to explain TK’s situation. “He, uh, moans a little, chews in his sleep. He’s probably starving. And, uh. . . it seems like he’s gonna wake up, but he just. . . doesn’t.”

Buck sighs, watching TK sadly and grasping his hand. He lays his head gently on TK’s shoulder, glancing back once more to check on Chris.

“I’m so sorry,” Zoe says, a hand on Owen’s shoulder though Buck’s sure that she is directing it to the both of them.

“Well, we were lucky. That the bullet didn’t hit his heart or his spine. It’s a miracle. It did hit nick a major vessel in his shoulder under the sub. . .” Owen waves his hand about, trying to pull the word out of thin air.

“Subclavian artery?” If Buck hadn’t been as surprised as Owen, he might’ve picked up on the tightening in his hand. “I had to take a couple of anatomy surveys in grad school so. . .”

“Good recall,” Owen says, eyes resting on TK and Buck. “And then he went into hypovolemic shock. Some of his organs started to shut down.”

Zoe sighs, shaking her head as she runs a hand down her face. “Oh my god, Owen. . .”

“But look at him. . .” Zoe and Owen cast their gazes upon TK and Buck—who’s half asleep against TK’s shoulders. “He’s doing better. He’s breathing on his own and everything seems to be functioning okay now.” He smiles, wider than he has in a while, as he watches Buck finally lose his battle and let his eyes fall close, resting peacefully with his brother. “Come on. Come meet my boys.”

He gets all of a few seconds of shut eye when Owen begins shaking him awake, and he’s ready to complain when he hears a mumbling right by his ear, and TK’s head knocks against his. And then his brother jerks abruptly, and Buck’s wide awake, sitting up and blinking away the tiredness and he grips TK’s hand and watches happily as TK’s eyes fly open in confusion.

“Buck!? Dad!” The grip in Buck’s hand tightens, and TK’s other hand reaches up to grasp Owen. “Where am I?”

“Hey, TK, it’s alright!” Buck soothes, running his free hand along TK’s hair as he calms down. “You’re fine.”

“You’re in the hospital,” Owen adds with an affirmative nod. “But you’re okay. We’re here.”

“What happened?”

“You were shot.”

TK frowns, eyes looking wildly from Buck to Owen before landing on Zoe. “Is she my doctor?”

“Oh, me?” Zoe’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as if she didn’t expect TK to notice her nor ask her anything. “Oh, no. No, I- I’m. . . his, uh. . . date.”

Buck smirks at the grimace Zoe and Owen show as TK frowns even further, turning back to Owen. “You brought a date?”

*****

“Last thing I remember is. . .” TK frowns slightly as he thinks for a second before nodding at Owen. “Being at the station that night, talking to you, and petting Buttercup. Then after that it’s. . . it’s all black.”

Buck and Owen frown but nod understandingly. “That’s probably for the best.”

“What happened?” TK’s watery gaze looks between Buck and Owen in concern. “Who. . . who the hell shot me?”

Owen sighs, tapping TK on his knee lightly. “We were responding to a possible cardiac event behind a locked door, forced our way in and a seven-year-old boy with his grandfather’s gun shot you.”

“Colt,” Buck speaks up, glancing at Chris sadly who’s fallen asleep yet again watching the tv. “He was scared. . . must’ve thought an intruder was still trying to break in.”

“That poor kid,” TK mutters, eyes looking off at the floor in concern. “Does anybody know how he’s holding up?”

“He’s still a bit shaken. I let him know that nobody blames him, that it was all an accident,” Buck sighs with a shake of his head. “He thought I’d be mad at him for shooting my brother.”

Owen lets out a breath, shaking his head with a small smile. “It’s so like you to be sitting here with a hole in your chest and still thinking about somebody else.”

“Right, I’m gonna go home tomorrow and I can’t even remember it.” TK shakes his head sadly. “Is he gonna be able to forget it?” He sighs, twiddling his thumbs. “Okay, there is one more thing I have to ask you about. But, you gotta promise to give it to me straight.”

Buck and Owen nod seriously, willing to do anything for TK’s sake. Though, Buck knows his brother better than Owen, knows that suspiciously glint in TK’s eyes. He frowns more as TK leans forward, smirking finally showing its ugly head. “What’s the deal with that hot babe, Zoe?”

Buck laughs, something he hasn’t done in a few days. He chuckles as Owen guffaws, glancing at the door as though Zoe was there. “First of all, she is not just a hot babe. She is the head of the psychologist department at UT.”

Buck winks at TK, chuckling. “Brains and beauty.”

The two smirk knowingly at Owen and he drops his head with a big smile. “And she’s a really hot babe.”

The three all chuckle quietly. “Yeah, she is. So, you gonna tell me how long you’ve been seeing her?”

Owen raises an eyebrow at TK with a hint of sass. “When you tell me how long you’ve been seeing the cop.”

TK’s smirk cracks, eyes rolling before landing on Buck mischievously. “I’ll do that when Buck tells how long he’s been seeing Eddie.”

It’s Buck’s turn to guffaw, glancing back at Chris’ still sleeping form before looking back to Owen and TK. “I. . . I’m not. . . we’re not—”

“Alright, Buck, you will not believe how tame Austin is compared to Los Angeles. I also stopped and got you a salad on the way back and a peach lemonade. I know you have this little obsession with. . .” Eddie lets the sentence die off as he finally takes in a smiling Owen and TK. “TK! You’re awake! Welcome back, man. And Owen, great to see you.” He glances back at the bag of food he brought in. “If I’d known you two would be here, I would’ve called to know what you wanted.”

“You didn’t call Buck,” TK points out with a smirk.

“I know Buck’s appetite,” Eddie says with a shrug, back turned to the three as he goes to wake Christopher up.

Buck scrunches his face at Owen and TK’s smirks. “Shut up.”

*****

When TK exits the firehouse, Buck, Eddie, Carlos, and Chris are there waiting for him. He smiles brightly as they all climb into their respective cars, Carlos and TK following behind Buck and Eddie. For the next few weeks, while he’s recuperating, he’ll be in LA.

And then he’ll come back, a better firefighter than he was before.

///////

The door swings open and Buck moves quickly, avoiding the flames as he does a sweep of the rooms. It’s hard to see through the smoke and haze and glare of the flames, but Buck keeps pushing. He happens to look down through a grate, sees a limp body just on the floor below them.

“Martinez!” He calls. “I got something.”

He pulls off the grate and, with no hesitation, drops through the hole and onto the lower level. He stumbles to the side a bit but uses the momentum to grab hold of the body and hoist it onto his shoulders. “I got her! Headed down!”

He wastes no time barreling through the building and out the front door, heaving the body of his shoulders and onto the ground. He drops to a knee next to it, taking in deep, heaving breaths as he rips off his mask and looks up at the inspector expectantly.

“Baby doll factory. . . new record!” He smiles triumphantly as the man holds out a congratulatory hand. “Most guys take the stairs. Welcome back, Buckley!”

He’s done it. Weeks’ worth of physical training has brought him to this.

He’s finally gonna get back to his job.

To his family.

To Eddie.

///////

“We are finally getting back to work, TK!” Buck says excitedly as he, Maddie, TK, and Carlos approach Athena’s house.

“I’d like to remind you that I haven’t taken my test yet—”

“You’re gonna pass it anyway, Ty!” Buck smiles proudly as Maddie shakes her head fondly and rings the doorbell. “You’ve got Buckley blood in your veins! Nothing shall hold us back from getting what we want!”

“Boy,” Buck startles and turns, offering Athena a sheepish smile before leaning forward for a hug. Man has he missed his momma figure. “Quit all this foolery and get in here already.”

Athena practically drags Buck into the house as Maddie, TK, and Carlos follow behind with sly smiles. “I’m so glad you guys were able to come.”

“Thank you for having us over!” Buck says chuckling as they descend the stairs into Athena’s living room.

“SURPRISE!” Buck practically topples over as he jumps out of his skin, a hand over his heart as his wide eyes take in Athena’s living room full of firefighters, officers, and other members of their large LA family.

“Aw!” Buck says, big smile on his face as he looks back at Maddie, TK, and Carlos. Their smiles tell Buck that they were in on it as well. He looks to Maddie, who shrugs sheepishly. “Did you do this?”

“Yeah.” Leave it to his sister to be a big party planner. The smile on his face hurts as he descends the rest of the stairs to approach the large group.

And who’s the first one breaking through the barrier to engulf Buck in a big hug, why, Eddie, of course! The two rush forward and embrace with big smiles on their faces, and while the hug may have been quick, they don’t pull away completely. He’s very aware of Eddie’s hands, one resting on his shoulder and the other at his waist. The two are smiling happily, and if anyone notices that Eddie and Buck’s embrace lasted longer than any other hugs Buck gave, well, no one called them out on it.

*****

Buck smiles, squatting down to Chris’ level as he moves forward with a big smile, card in his hand. “Wow! Thanks, buddy!” He gratefully accepts the card, smiling brightly at the picture drawn. “Wow! This is great!”

“It’s you and me,” Chris says softly.

Buck points to the board in between the two of them. “Oh, and what’s that?”

“It’s a surfboard, right?” Eddie says cheerfully, smiling at Buck from behind Chris.

“Oh, ho, ho, ho.” Buck says, opening up the card as Eddie straightens up with an, “He’s obsessed.”

“Dear Buck,” Buck reads as Chris maneuvers himself to look at the words he wrote himself. “You are an awesome firefighter. Love, Christopher.” He closes the card gently and blinks to keep sweet tears of joy from rolling down his face as he pulls his boy, his Superman, his buddy, in for another hug. “Very sweet, Christopher. Thank you.”

*****

Buck practically has to get Maddie to pry TK away from Carlos before he can sidle up to the cop with a sly smirk. “You call me when you guys plan TK’s welcome back party, you hear me?”

Carlos chuckles, hands in his pocket as he watches TK try and fail to dance away from Maddie. “Oh, trust me, you will be in every part of the planning process. Think you’ll be able to make it?”

“All depends on my schedule,” Buck says with a smirk, giving Carlos a few happy punches to his arm. “My firefighter schedule because I’m a firefighter again!”

Carlos laughs, swatting at Buck’s hands. “Okay, okay! What do I gotta do to get you to stop hitting me?”

“Loosen up and party man!” Buck replies. “You’re acting like Eddie, all dark and brooding.”

“I am neither of the two and you know that, Buck!” Eddie’s voice calls, and Buck frowns, glancing around and trying to figure out just where his friend is hiding.

Carlos laughs shaking his head as he _finally_ uncrosses his arms and seems to brighten a little. “Fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna go try some of the food of the infamous Captain Bobby.”

*****

“I’m finally getting my partner back.” Eddie says cheerfully as he and Buck move around the kitchen for no reason other than taking a break from outside.

“I’m finally getting back to my partner,” Buck retorts, leaning next to Eddie and letting their shoulders bump together. They have an unspoken bond, something they should seriously talk about but neither seem to care that much because they’re perfect content with the way the relationship seems to just fit.

“Hey, Buck! Eddie!” They both raise an eyebrow at TK’s exasperated look. “Seven minutes are up. Get back out here!”

Buck rushes out the door before Eddie in hopes that a, he doesn’t see Buck’s blush, and b, doesn’t catch on to the seven minutes reference that he’s going to murder his brother later for.

*****

“Ooh, so that’s your future baby daddy?” Buck says, cocking his head at a picture of a little boy. “Looks a little young.”

Hen rolls her eyes. “No, this photo is, like, twenty years old. For privacy reasons, they can’t show you what he looks like now.”

“Yeah,” Karen nods before furrowing her eyebrows and slapping at Buck’s shoulder harshly. He looks at her in confusion, unprepared for the onslaught of Karen’s hand. Usually Hen is the violent one. “And he’s not a baby daddy. He’s a sperm donor.”

Buck nods carefully before gesturing to the picture with a smile. “Well, he is a cute sperm donor.” Karen hums as if this weren’t news to her. “And hey, he’s gonna make for a real cute kid.”

“You are so sweet.” Buck furrows his eyes at Karen’s watery gaze as she moves in to hug him. His wide eyes move to Hen, and she shakes her head. _Don’t ask._

*****

“I can’t believe you managed to keep this a secret,” Buck says, instantly getting distracted as he moves to cut through them. “There’s cake?”

Buck loves cake. They all should know that Buck loves his sweets.

The brownie incident is a reminder of that.

“Uh, two cakes,” Chim responds as a woman offers Buck a plate, which he happily accepts.

“Yeah,” Maddie nods. “We weren’t sure how today was gonna go.”

“So, we had another one on standby in case you crashed and burned that said _Better Buck Next Time_.”

Ha. Ha. So funny. On a side note, Buck adds it to his list to finesse Chim into telling him where that second cake is hiding.

“Aw,” Maddie says, feeding Chim a forkful of cake. Buck furrows his eyebrows, looking between the two in exasperation. And maybe just a little bit of happiness disguised as disgust.

“Wow,” Buck shakes his head. “You guys just gonna get married already?”

“Oh,” the three turn to Michael as he stops, both eyebrows raised. “Don’t forget to invite us.”

Buck hums in agreement as Michael strides off, probably to hackle Athena some more about not inviting everyone to her and Bobby’s wedding.

*****

“They are sending me the paperwork in the morning and you will officially be back. How’s that feel?” Bobby asks with a warm smile as Buck nods gratefully.

“Oh, I’m just glad it’s over. Y’know, I, uh,” Buck sighs, rubbing a hand at his chest. “Hated not being with you guys.”

“Yeah, we missed you, too.” Buck could’ve sworn Bobby threw a glance in Eddie’s direction. Maybe it was just his imagination. “It’ll be nice to have the whole team back together.”

“Thanks, Cap. And I don’t just mean for the party and the cakes. Um. . .” Buck licks at his lips, blinking once more to keep himself from crying sweet tears of joys. “Thank you for being there, y’know? For the surgeries and the rehabs. I, uh. . . I know I wasn’t always the easiest person to be around.”

Bobby rolls his eyes as if the statement were severely understated. “Oh my god.”

Buck chuckles, which sets off a familiar itch in his chest.

“Nah, you weren’t that bad.”

“You should—” He coughs quite a few times as the itch grows. “My—” A few more coughs. “Ex-girlfriend, sorry.”

He’s prepared to continue with his sentiment when a cough wriggles its way out of him yet again. Followed by another, and another. And for a second, he briefly remembers his dinner date with Abby.

“Hey, she just wasn’t the right fit. You’ll find someone new.” _I already have._

“Sorry, I, uh—” Panic begins to rise in him as the coughs just keep coming.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I—” The cough that escapes him leaves the base of his throat very sore but doesn’t help in making them better. He continues, hacking and hacking just as he’d done just a year ago, doubling over and letting out a final cough which seems to clear the itch as something flies from his mouth and onto his hand.

Fear clenches around his heart as his blood drips between his fingers.

“Buck?”

He’s vaguely aware of Bobby calling his name, but darkness seems to over come him as he straightens up only to fall backwards into unconsciousness.

And the only thing he can think is _God damnit. I was so close._

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

///////

“You got lucky.” No, lucky would’ve been being at the firehouse, being welcomed back with open arms. Lucky would’ve been out saving lives. Lucky would’ve been having been done with all of this. Lucky is not sat in a goddamn hospital. “Most people who suffer a pulmonary embolism don’t do it surrounded by trained medical professionals.” _It wasn’t my intention to do it at all, doc._ “It saved your life.”

“So, what caused the blood clot?” Maddie asks, a tension in her shoulders. Buck internally grimaces at the anger he knows Maddie will direct at him.

“Clots, plural.” Damnit. Why does the doctor have to say everything right now? “There’s the one that hit his lungs, and then there’s two more in his leg. As to the cause? It’s unclear.”

“Yeah,” Chim furrows his eyebrows. “But he just got a clean bill of health last week. This came out of nowhere.”

Buck purposely looks at the doctor to avoid Maddie’s pointed glare. When the doctor frowns and turns to him, his gaze drops to the floor.

“Did it? No pain or tenderness in the leg? Skin discoloration? Swelling?”

Buck is very aware of the pain he felt when he dropped from one floor to another during his baby doll factory simulation. “I thought I just pulled a muscle or something.” He doesn’t miss Maddie’s irritated eye roll. “Okay, I- I’ve been training for my LAFD recertification test.”

“Well, it’s not surprising,” the doctor nods understandingly, closing Buck’s file. “Training hard can lead to dehydration, which can increase the risk of clots.”

“Okay, um, well, great.” Buck offers a small smile. “Look, I’m not dead. You found the clots. When can I get out of here?”

“We’ll move you to a room,” _God fucking damnit_. “Keep you on anticoagulants. Tomorrow, we’ll run some more tests. And then, we’ll see.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Chim says as the man walks off. Chim turns back, glancing at Maddie’s tenseness, a frown etched onto her face, and to Buck, sheepishly doing his best to avoid eye contact with his sister. And the two are siblings, but all Chim can see is a condescending mother about to make Buck feel very childlike. “You know what, I’m gonna go tell everyone that you’re okay. Let them know that you’re staying awhile, alright?”

Chim walks off, and Buck’s left alone. With Maddie. Yay. . .

“When did your leg start bothering you?”

Buck shrugs. “Like a day or two ago.” Maddie shakes her head disappointingly. “Maddie, I- I was not ignoring this, okay? I- I didn’t know what it was. I thought I had a leg cramp or something.”

“Yeah, well, you need to be more careful. Because if this had happened when you were alone. . .” Her voice wavers slightly, and she shakes her head again, something she tends to do to keep herself from crying. “You could have died.”

“But I- I- I. . . I didn’t, okay? I just passed out.”

Maddie scoffs. “Yeah, just passed out after vomiting up blood.”

“What?” Buck frowns. He remembers spitting up some blood, but it wasn’t that much. Was it? “I don’t. . . I don’t remember that. I vomited up blood?” Maddie nods quietly. “At Bobby and Athena’s house?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Well, shit.

Eddie’s gonna kill him.

///////

“I’m gonna kill you.” Buck grimaces as Eddie strides into his room, shaking his head.

“I—”

“Maddie told me. Everything.” He sighs, bringing up a chair next to Buck’s bed. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me? You’re supposed to tell me everything.”

“I’m sorry, Eds, I. . . I just thought it was a leg cramp.”

“Yeah, well, you thinking it was just a leg cramp has cost me the possibility of getting my partner back.” Eddie punches Buck lightly in the arm with a frown. “Next time tell me when something is bothering you. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Good. Who knows how long I’ll have to wait now before you get back.” Eddie shakes his head, snapping his fingers. “Oh, and TK and Carlos wish you a great and _responsible_ recovery.”

“Are they back in Austin?”

“Yes. Oh, and Owen says the next time he sees you, he’s going to beat your ass.”

Buck hisses and throws his head back against the pillow as Eddie chuckles quietly.

*****

“You sure it’s okay to be walking around like this?” Bobby asks, looking as though he wants to reach out and stabilize Buck as though he were still on crutches.

“Yeah, they want me up and moving. Y’know, it’s better for the blood flow in my legs. Seriously, if I’m not being poked or they’re not testing me, they’re making me walk.”

“So, all that testing, do they have any theories yet as to what caused the clots?”

“Not yet, but the meds are working. Y’know, they’re gonna send me home tonight.” He perks up like a puppy, looking at Bobby with raised eyebrows. “Oh, hey, um, do I need the hospital to sign some kind of form or anything, y’know, for the department? My clearance?”

“Um. . .” Buck’s smile deflates at Bobby’s sheepish look, as though he’s giving Buck bad news. “But you’re not. . . you’re not cleared, Buck. Not yet.”

Buck has to blink at Bobby a few times to really let it sink in that he’s not going back to work. He’s not going back to his family. He’s not going back to Eddie. “What? Yeah. . . no. . . I- I passed my physical and my recertification test. I’ve got everything I- I need.”

“It’s the blood thinners.” The ones he’s been put on for these stupid clots. “Department is concerned about liability issues, and since the doctors haven’t figured out what’s causing the clots. . .”

“Uh. . .” There’s a smile on Buck’s face, but it’s far from humorous. All the hard work he’s done, all the sweat, blood, and many, many tears. “I can’t come back to work?”

“Well, Buck, if we were out on a call and something happened to you—”

“And then I would have two paramedics standing next to me! I would be fine!” Bobby sighs, hands going in his pockets as he fixes Buck with a gaze that Buck absolutely hates right now. He didn’t go through all this trouble to not be able to go back to work. “Bobby you. . . you know how hard I have worked for this. Th- Th- They can’t. . . they can’t do this to me. Y- you. . . you can’t let them take away my job!”

“Hey, we’re not. You were injured in the line of duty and no one is forgetting that. Chief Alonzo thinks that in a few weeks, if you’re doing okay on the meds, he can clear you for light duty.” Buck was nodding up until “light duty”. Not back to his regular job. Light fucking duty.

“Light duty?” Buck’s sure he looks just as insulted as he feels. Bobby wants him to wait around just to sit around some more instead of doing the one thing he loves to do and is good at doing? “Uh. . . you mean like a desk job?”

“Now, listen, Buck, I. . .” Bobby seems to break at Buck’s look of pure despair as he points in the general direction of the windows, eyes red from holding back his tears.

“Out there.” Buck looks at Bobby pointedly. It’s one of the few times Bobby has ever seen the kid so serious. “In the world. _Helping_ people. That is where I belong. That is where I have spent five months _FIGHTING_ to get back to. And now, you’re gonna tell me I- I can’t?”

Bobby sighs sadly as Buck shakes his head in anger and sorrow. “Listen, Buck, I know this is hard, but at least light—”

“No! I don’t want light duty, okay!? An- and neither would you!”

Buck shakes his head; it hurts to look at Bobby. He fought hard to get back to this man, to his Captain. He wants to be able to sit in the loft again, laughing and joking and enjoying a good meal cooked by his Pops. He wants to be able to hang out with Hen again. He wishes to constantly get on Chim’s very last nerve. He wishes to spend his days by Eddie’s side. He wants to be out there making sure people like him get to live out there hopes and dreams. He wants his life back.

“No, they are not putting me behind a desk.”

And if he can’t get back to what he’s fighting for, then he’s certainly not gonna let the department string him along with false hope.

“I quit.”

///////

“Get up!”

When Buck gifted Eddie with a key to his apartment, he was positive of how great of an idea it was. He is now starting to regret that decision.

“Ugh, why man? Come on.” Buck groans, reaching up to pull the covers over his head again.

Eddie sighs, and he hears the older man moving around before the cover is once again ripped off of his head. “Because it’s morning and you have things to do.”

Buck sneers, shaking his head and reaching once more for the covers. “No, I really don’t.”

“You need to get out of this house,” Eddie says, not giving Buck the chance to pull the cover over himself again before snatching it and tossing it back towards the foot of the bed, much to Buck’s irritation. “And take a walk around the block. And get some fresh air.”

“Why?” Buck says, giving up on going back to sleep and grumpily moving past Eddie to head downstairs. “What’s the point?”

“Well, the point is, your life isn’t over just because you’re not a firefighter.”

“Says the firefighter,” Buck retorts, tossing an empty box once filled with rice and stepping into the kitchen.

“You know, that blood clot could’ve almost killed you. But it didn’t.” Ignoring Edmundo sounds like a wonderful idea that Buck should’ve thought of the moment the nuisance woke him up. “You have your whole life ahead of you, so why don’t you just take it as a win and stop feeling sorry for yourself?”

On second thought, he’s gonna go back to sleep. He’s still continuing to ignore what’s-his-face as he moves towards the stairs once more.

“Hey, Buck!” Buck freezes, looking over to his couch where Christopher sits happily. _That two-timing, no good_ —

“Hey, Buddy!” Eddie’s moving past him with a smirk that Buck can _hear_ , and Buck follows behind begrudgingly. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

“He’s hanging out with his Buck today!” Eddie sings out, giving Chris a big hug before straightening and facing Buck with a victorious, smug look. One that Buck’s itching to wipe of Eddie’s face. “Because I have to go to work today.”

“Where’s Carla?”

“She went to Morongo!” Chris says excitedly, and Eddie faces Buck again with an even wider smile. The man is lucky Chris is sitting on his couch, or he really would have let Eddie have the slur of profanity that Sophia had the pleasure of teaching him.

“So, take him out, have some fun. Maybe you’ll learn something.” Eddie stops right next to Buck, mouth right by his ear. “He never feels sorry for himself. Love you, Buddy!”

“Love you!” Eddie walks off, and Buck watches him go. “Love you, Dad!”

When the door closes, he can’t help but smirk.

Eddie got him.

Good.

///////

When the day’s over with, Buck will make sure to rub it all in Eddie’s face how they had so much fun without him. They went on the Ferris Wheel. Chris laughed when the man informed Buck that he was apparently too tall—because there’s actually a height maximum for rides, color Buck surprised—to get on the Gyro Loop. They spun around and around in the mouths of sharks.

He worsened Chris’ sugar high by getting him cotton candy on top of the sugar pancakes the two had for breakfast this morning. He was definitely going to make sure their picture from the photo booth ended up on his and Eddie’s nightstands.

“This is for all the marbles!” Buck says happily as the man at the station prepares to start the game.

“Buck?”

“Yeah, Buddy?”

“I don’t want the marbles. I want the bear!”

Buck chuckles sweetly as Chris points up at the fuzzy, brown bear. “No, it’s, uh, it’s just a figure of speech. Now, you ready?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright. I’m gonna hold here. . .” The game buzzer rings and the water sprouts from the water gun. “And shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!”

The two of them, of course, win the game and—more importantly for Chris—the giant fuzzy brown bear. It’s while he’s celebrating that he happens to catch sight of T-136 approaching a prone T-rex mascot, working hard to save the man who no doubt collapsed from heat exhaustion.

“Buck!”

“Oh!” He turns, taking the giant bear off Chris’ hand and helping him stand. “Sorry, I. . . I got it.”

“Are you okay?”

“The universe is mocking me.”

*****

“You ever think about what you want to do with your life?” He looks up at Chris, holding him steady by the back of his shirt as the little boy tossing food into the waves below. “What you want to be when you grow up?”

“Astronaut or a pirate.”

“Some good choices. . . Cool outfits, too.”

“No, wait! A firefighter.”

The universe is utterly mocking him. “Yeah, me too. . . But, Chris, if those career paths don’t work out, um. . . I hope you do find something you love. You know, something you’re good at. That makes you feel like you matter. Something you could do forever. Because when you do, it’s gonna tell you who you are. And it’s gonna show you the rest of your life. And that is the best feeling. And I hope you get that. And I hope you get to keep it.”

“You’re gonna be okay, kid.” Gosh, he loves this little boy. If there’s one thing he’s glad he’s still got, it’s that Chris and Eddie are in his life. He smiles, leaning into Chris’ touch, eyes glancing out at the waves. . . or lack thereof.

He stands, frowning at the water, that has receded a good twenty or thirty feet away from the pier.

“Where did all the water go?”

Buck swallows thickly, his grip tightening on Chris. He regrets bringing him to the pier, because his Superman, Eddie’s _son_ , is about to find out the hard way just where all the water went.

Because out in the distance is a big wall of water.

And it’s heading right for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally there. The infamous tsunami. Ugh, the whole thing gets me in my feelings just watching it again and again it's so heartbreaking. But stay tuned because the next chapter shall be out in a few days.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I accidently slipped and stayed up writing this chapter in just a few hours. Let me tell you, I did cry a few times rewatching it because Chis and Buck always get me in my feelings. That being said, my warnings for this chapter include tsunami, drowning, mentions of newborn death, mentions of death, and overall just an angsty feel.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Fear. That’s what grips Buck as he stands there watching the wave of water approach faster and faster. He’s paralyzed with it, and for a second he’s forgotten how to move his feet.

And then the siren is blaring, loud and imminent. It seems to break Buck out of his trance. He leaves his bag, the bear, and Chris’ crutches behind and scoops the boy up and onto his shoulder. It’s as if the siren was all people needed to really make it sink in that they’re not hallucinating; a tsunami is heading right for them.

“RUN!” Buck shouts to the few people still paralyzed with fear as he sprints past people. “GET OFF THE PIER! GO! GO! GO!”

But he knows that some won’t even try. That wave is approaching fast, and no matter how far they all run, there’s no escaping it. That’s why Buck doesn’t flow with the crowd, he moves off to the side and gently sets Chris within the baseball toss station. He looks back just in time to see the area they previously stood get engulfed by water and Buck wastes not a second more to jump into the station at the same time the force of the water finally catches them.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

///////

_Where did all the water go?_

Buck’s gonna be sick. Everything is making him sick. It’s dark then it’s light then it’s dark again then it’s light again. He’s moving up and down and side to side but he can’t tell which direction is which. Somethings pulling him down, but the light shining on him suggests that he’s moving forward and back, not deeper.

He makes the mistake of trying to scream, and now he’s drowning in confusion and literal water as he claws desperately to break the surface, wherever that may be. But then he feel it, the moment his slow kick becomes faster as a result of breaking through the surface. And he wills his body to move that direction until he’s coughing and can hear so much better and he can take in big gulps of air.

Despite the urge to close his eyes against the onslaught of salty water, he forces them open, latching onto a convenient wire above him just in time before he’s swept further with the wave. He gives himself all of two seconds to pull himself together before he’s panicking once more, seeing as he’s far from where the baseball toss once stood. The baseball toss where he stuck Eddie’s son.

“CHRISTOPHER!?” He does his best to look around while keeping a strong grip on the wire. “CHRIS? CHRISTOPHER!”

“BUCK!” And as much as the scared tone of Chris’ cry breaks his heart, it relieves him to know that Chris is still there within his reach, and he cranes his neck to find the little boy just a little ways down, clutching onto a beam for dear life. “BUCK!”

“CHRIS! STAY THERE!” He lets go, lets the water carry him down the street and dunks underwater to avoid floating debris. When he breaks, he’s searching desperately, gaze latching onto Chris and doing his best to swim to the kid through the rushing water. “GRAB MY HAND! CHRISTOPHER! REACH OUT AND GRAB MY HAND!”

The water carries him past Chris and Buck flails to get back to him, but the water fights back, pushing him further and further away.

“NO! CHRIS! STAY OVER THERE!”

“I CAN’T HOLD ON!”

No, no, no, no. Please hold on, Chris. “NO! HOLD ON CHRISTOPHER!”

“BUCK!” Buck finds something to hold on to at the same time Chris’ grip on the beam loosens. Of all the times Buck’s felt a wave of fear wash over him, nothing trumps watching Chris disappear under the water. He pushes himself back into the water, forcing his eyes to stay open.

He finds Chris’ distinctive yellow shirt through the murkiness, and when he latches on, he pulls the boy close and holds him tight as he brings the two back to the surface. They’re both breathing heavily, tears mixing in with salt water as they hold onto each other tightly.

Chris automatically tightens his legs around Buck’s torso, his arms squeezing his neck tight, but Buck doesn’t mind. No, he runs his hands over Chris’ head and relishes in the feel of the boy safe in his arms.

“Thank God! Thank God!” He cries and cries and cries. He holds Chris close as they drift further and further down the street before Buck latches onto the engine, hoisting Chris onto the top and ducking just in time to avoid being taken out by a large pile of debris.

He pops back up after a few seconds, making sure the coast is clear before pulling himself up onto the truck alongside, Chris. He reaches out, keeping a hand wound tightly in Chris’ shirt. He’s not letting the water take his boy away again.

///////

“Any word on how operation Buck-up Buck is going?” Hen asks as they begin packing away equipment. Eddie smiles instantly at the thought of his two-favorite people, pulling out his phone at Hen’s request.

“This was this morning,” Eddie says, Chim and Hen hovering over his shoulder to get a good look at the picture Buck sent him this morning of him and Chris smiling over a plate of pancakes caked with lots of sugar. “Full stack, and then I think he said maybe the movies. And by now, Chris is coming down from a serious sugar high and Buck is regretting his life choices.”

“Hey! Did someone leave a hydrant on?” Bobby calls, and it’s then that the three notice the water rushing around their feet at the same time a notification pops up on Eddie’s phone.

“I don’t think it’s a hydrant, Cap,” Eddie replies, reading his SMS Tsunami text somberly.

///////

“You good, Chris?” Buck holds the boy close, lips against his forehead as he watches the water rush by.

“Yep!” Chris replies, already sounding like his normal cheerful self. “ _I_ took swimming lessons.”

Buck chuckles. Leave it to Chris to make light of a dark situation. “Well, maybe you can teach me.” He finally releases his hold on Chris, moving to stand and get a good look around. “Alright. I’mma take a look around and see what I see.” But what is there to see besides the rushing water. “I guess we’re gonna have to hang out here a little longer.”

“ _We_ have a firetruck.”

Buck breathes out a laugh. “Yeah, we do.”

“HELP!” a voice calls out and Buck stands, eyes searching wildly for the source. “HELP ME!”

He spots them, far out, clutching to the corner of a building and waving frantically at Buck. “HELP!”

“OKAY!” Buck calls. “I’M GONNA COME FOR YOU! OKAY?”

“HELP!”

He turns, making sure Chris is safely tucked away from the edge of the truck. “Chris, um, I- I need you sit right here for me. You promise me?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, right here. Right here.” He hops up, hoisting the ladder up and over to land against an abandoned SUV. He then grabs the hose and carefully begins walking across the ladder. He’s crawling across a car when he hears a deeper male voice. When he glances through the driver’s window, he comes face to face with a man, trapped in his car. “I know. I know. I _will_ come back for you. Okay? I promise.”

The man nods and he continues over the car, diving into the water. He swims across to the other side of the street and ties the end of the hose to a tree, making sure it’s secure.

“HEY! HEY, YOU CAN LET GO!” He wraps a leg around the tree and cranes his neck to look back at the woman. “I NEED YOU TO LET GO! YOU CAN DO THIS!”

She pushes off, letting the water carry her down closer to where Buck is.

“That’s it! You’re doing great!” He pulls himself through the water using the hose, reaching out as the water comes closer. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”

She throws an arm across Buck’s shoulder, and he guides her back towards the firetruck, making sure she’s on safely before swimming along the truck to where Chris rests.

“Buck!”

“Yeah?”

“Buck, look.”

Buck turns in the direction Chris points at the same time a chorus of shouts and cries ring out above the sound of rushing water. More people are coming around the corner, flailing and desperately trying to stay above water. He looks up at the woman, gesturing to Chris.

“Hey! Will you watch him?”

She nods, moving to sit next to Chris as Buck once again moves against the rush of water in an attempt to help the people.

///////

_“The eight-point nine earthquake off the coast of Alaska that caused the worse tsunami along the California coast in more than fifty years, with magnitudes greater than. . .”_

“Jesus, does your brother ever get a break?” Mateo swears, the team staring at the television in astonishment.

“Right,” Paul scoffs, shaking his head at TK. “They just dealt with an earthquake last year. Now a tsunami. What’s next? Uncontrollable wildfires?”

“Don’t jinx it, man.” Judd responds, whistling at the sight of the destroyed pier.

TK startles at the hand placed on his shoulder. “You okay, TK?”

“Don’t worry about your brother, TK,” Owen says, waving his phone at Marjan and TK reassuringly. “I got a picture from Buck of the two of them eating pancakes far away from the coast.”

“See?” Marjan says, as Owen moves towards the ambulance, probably searching for Michelle. “Buck is fine—”

“But he’s not!” TK bursts, getting the attention of his team to look at him in concern.

“And why do you say that?”

TK glances once more at the more recent picture Buck sent him; a selfie of him and Chris sitting at the very edge of the pier, the waves of the ocean in the background. He shoves the phone into Marjan’s hands, not wanting to look at the picture anymore. She gasps audibly as the other three scramble to see the photo.

“I’m the one who gave him the damn idea to go the pier instead of the movies.”

///////

“Okay. I spy with my little eye something that. . . moves people around.” Buck bumps shoulders with Chris, smiling slyly at the object. He doesn’t miss the way the other occupants on the firetruck cast small smiles in their direction.

“Um. . . oh! A scooter!”

“Yeah. Nice one.” Buck chuckles, scooting closer next to Chris. “Okay, genius. Your turn.”

“I spy. . . a shopping cart.”

“What?” Buck bursts out in giggles along with Chris, shaking his head. “No, come on. That’s not how the game works. You can’t just yell stuff out.”

“But yelling stuff out is the fun part!” Chris shouts, a bright big smile on his face. He smiles warmly at the sight.

“You amaze me, Buddy.”

“Why?”

“I got some bad news at work the other day and I didn’t want to get out of bed for a whole week. But you,” Buck pokes at Chris’ stomach, smiling at the way Chris giggles softly and gently swats at Buck’s hands. “Through the day you had, here you are with a big smile, busting a gut. You never gave up. When that water was rushing over you back there. . . you just kept on swimming.”

“Like Dory?”

“Yeah. Like Dory.” He smiles again, looking out at the water before looking back at Chris. “N- not just today, y’know, but every day. You never say no, you never complain. . . How do you do that?”

“Well, I complained once, but it didn’t work.”

“So, what did you do?”

“Just kept on swimming.”

Buck smiles, throwing an arm across Chris’ shoulders and smiling softly. “Like Dory.” He frowns as the people begin murmuring, gasping and some crying at the sight of a pile of debris. As it drifts closer, Buck understands why. He situates Chris so that his back his to the flow of water, holding him tight. “Uh, I- I spy with my little eye something that is high.”

And it upsets Buck, the sight before him. A bright Chris, smiling wide even as a pile of dead bodies float down the street behind him.

*****

“I don’t know what I’m gonna tell your father,” Buck says, sighing at the thought of Eddie. He’d told him that he’d planned to go to the movies. He should’ve taken Chris to the movies. “I take you out one-time and. . . look what happens.”

“You save me.” Buck snaps his gaze to Chris’ pointed look, and watches as Chris looks to the other people on the firetruck with them. “And you saved them.”

Gosh, how he loves this kid so much. So, so much. “Nah, we did that together. Me and you. We make a great team. Give me a high five, I’m proud of you.”

Buck doesn’t complain when Chris continually slaps at Buck’s outstretched hand. He smiles, holds him close, and thanks the heavens that he has Chris in his life. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like without him.

“Thank you.” Chris moves, arms open to hug Buck, which Buck gladly accepts. He holds Chris close, thumb caressing his head absentmindedly. “Thank you, Buck.”

And it seems like everything is going to be okay when the sound of rushing water grows louder and louder. People begin to panic as the truck begins to shake, and someone cries out as the tip over and fall into the water.

Another wave is coming through.

“Everybody get down!” He grabs Chris, hovering over the boy as he begins to panic himself, tears coming to his eyes because he wants it all to be over. He wishes so much that he’d taken Chris to the movies and that they weren’t here, cowering on top of a ladder truck as a wave of water threatens to carry them out to sea. “GET DOWN! HANG ON! HANG ON!”

Buck hears the cries of help, glances over the side of the truck to see people clawing at it in an attempt to get out of the water. He moves quickly, glancing back to make sure Chris is alright before reaching down to help the people get on the truck. The truck lurches to the side, and Buck can register the sound of a splash before it rights itself.

And in that moment, Buck isn’t in LA. He’s back in South America, a nurse telling him that his daughter didn’t make it. The feeling that overcomes him is overwhelming, a feeling of needing to cry and scream all at the same time. A deep feeling of hurt. He feels that as his eyes widen and he turns to where Chris was sitting.

The spot which is now vacant.

“Christopher!” He moves from the side where people attempt to get on the ladder truck, looking over the railing to desperately search for the one person he vowed to protect, his boy. “Christopher!” This time, there is no sweet, melodic response to his shouts. No distinct yellow shirt that he can see among the murkiness of the rushing water. “CHRISTOPHER!”

He jumps, swimming blindly and searching, searching for Chris. “CHRISTOPHER!”

And no matter how much he shouts, it’s too late.

He turned his back for one second, and now he’s gone.

Christopher is gone.

*****

“CHRIS!” Buck shouts once more, wading through the water now low enough to walk through. “CHRISTOPHER!”

He eyes roam the clumps of debris, desperately searching for any sort of semblance of the boy. “CHRISTOPHER!” He wants to believe it’s all a nightmare. He wants to wake up, maybe in his own bed, hopefully at Eddie’s, just somewhere where he can immediately hop up and prove to himself that Chris is fine. But the longer he wades through the water, the more the truth crushes his heart. He is in a nightmare, the worst kind; one that is his reality. “Christopher! H- Has anyone seen a- a- a boy!? In the water!? He’s eight! He’s got brown hair! Glasses! Yellow t-shirt. . .”

He stops by a group of folks, voice wavering as he looks at them desperately. “H- have you seen a li- a little boy?”

“No, I’m sorry,” one woman responds, shaking her head sadly.

He stumbles as they move on, and he’s close to hyperventilating. He’s about to pass out when he sees them; Christopher’s red glasses, sitting among a pile of debris. He rushes forward, grasping the glasses and searching desperately for the boy they belong to.

The tears flow heavily, and his heart clenches because he’s scared. A part of him is glad that maybe he didn’t find Chris with his glasses, drenched in fear of what he’ll find if he eventually does find Chris. That he’ll be too late, that there’s nothing he can do just like there was nothing he could do then.

He places the glasses tentatively around his neck. Nothing’s going to stop him from looking for his Chris, not even his own fear. He’s bringing Christopher home.

Alive.

///////

“Our team is still stuck on the other side,” Bobby says as Eddie and Bosko, a member of the 136, follow behind him. “The trucks can’t get through just yet; Earth movers are still clearing the roads.”

Eddie grimaces with a shake of his head. “So, the 118’s hoofing it for a while.”

“It looks that way. Hen and Chim are readying some turnout backpacks until we’re mobile again.” Bobby looks to Bosko with a frown. “Bosko, your crew from your house are all alive and accounted for except for Captain Cooper. He’s still MIA. Sorry.”

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, Captain,” Bosko says, sticking a chin up in determination. “I’m gonna stick around and look for him.”

Eddie and Bobby frown, glancing down at Bosko’s arms, which seem to cradle her torso. “Why’re you holding yourself like that?”

“It’s nothing. Bruised rib.”

Eddie steps forward, cause he’s learned a lot from Buck to know when a person is hiding a serious injury. “Let me take a look at that.”

“I said it’s nothing.”

“Clearly, it’s not,” Eddie retorts as she becomes defensive, moving forward with an eyebrow raised, daring her to continually deny it.

She sneers at him in response. “Are you gonna drop this?”

Gotcha.

“Hey.” She looks to Bobby sheepishly, knowing she has no choice now. “Bosko, let him have a look. I’m not asking.”

Eddie kneels in front of her, poking around before earning a hiss of pain in return. “Yep, that’s not a bruise. It’s broken. That’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

“Yeah, well, breathing isn’t super fun.”

Bobby fixes her with a pointed look. “I’m calling it, you’re off the field.”

“Sir, I said I’m fine!”

Bobby just smirks knowingly, waving over a truck clearing the roads. “USAR Command is setting up the VA hospital on Sawtelle.” Bobby looks to Eddie with a knowing look. “I want you to stick with her. Just in case her desire to track down her captain causes her to lose her way. I’m gonna meet up with the 118, rendezvous with us when you can.”

“Copy that, Cap.” Eddie nods as Bobby stalks off. He reaches into his bag, pulling out his phone. If he didn’t know that Buck and Chris were safe, he would’ve been worried at the lack of texts and calls.

“Who you callin’?”

“My son.” Eddie frowns when Buck’s number immediately goes to voice mail. “Lost his mother a few months ago. Don’t want him to worry. Hey, Buck, it’s me. I just want you to tell Christopher I’m gonna be a little late picking him up, got our hands full here. It’s a good thing you’re missing it. Hope you guys are having fun.”

///////

“HEY! THERE’S A KID UNDER HERE!”

Buck freezes, eyes moving to where people crowd around a pile of debris, trying to lift a sign up. He moves forward, hopeful. “Christopher!? Hey!” The woman looks up at him as he moves his way to the front of the small gathering. “I got you! Hey! Hey! Big guy!” The man turns to Buck, eyebrows raised in confusion before nodding understandingly. “Me and you! Come on! Alright, three. . . two. . . one!”

They lift the sign up and to the side, and he hisses at the sharp pain that shoots through his arm but ignores as he looks to the mop of brown hair rising up. A little brunette girl. Buck deflates as the others help the crying girl up and begin to walk away.

“Uh, hey! Hey! Hey!” The turn back to him, looking at him in concern. “Excuse me! Um. . . I’m looking for an eight-year-old boy. His name w- is Christopher. He’s always smiling. He’s got CP—Cerebral Palsy. He’s go—He’s got brown hair! Yellow shirt!”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I saw him.” A wave of hope and happiness washes over Buck as he focuses his attention on the young, blonde man. “Where?”

“He was headed with a group to that cupcakery place. I heard they’re handing out water.”

“Uh, cupcakery? W- w- w- what is that?”

“Y’know, cupcake bakery. It’s about six or seven blocks south from here on Strand.”

“Thank you!” Buck begins through the water with more enthusiasm than before. “Thank you!”

///////

Buck stumbles through the crowd, eyes searching wildly for Chris. His steps falter as his eyes land on a little boy, clutching onto a woman. Brown hair. Yellow shirt. Buck smiles.

“Christopher. . .” He rushes forward, practically knocking people down. “Christopher! I’m here! Hey!”

The boy turns, hair of his bowl cut swishing as he backs away from Buck in surprise. Now closer, Buck can see that his shirt is green. This is not Christopher.

He lets the woman and the child walk off, feeling guilty for having frightened the two but also feeling his heart literally rip as it dawns on him that he may never find Christopher.

“Mister, are you okay?” He turns to look at a young teenage boy who looks at him in concern. “You’re bleeding.”

He looks down at his arm, finally noticing how his entire forearm is painted red. He must’ve cut himself earlier when he was moving the sign. The pain, the loss of blood, the toll of Christopher missing finally catches up with him. He stumbles, wanting nothing more than to close his eyes and end this horrid nightmare.

*****

“Buck! I made a sandcastle!” Buck smiles, moving forward to study the pile of sand Chris has pushed together and shaped to his liking.

“Nice, Buddy! And who’s the King and Queen of this castle?”

“We are!” A much younger voice coos, and when Buck turns to get a good look at who it is, he’s hit with a force of water, knocking him all out of balance. Through the murkiness, and Chris and a little girl, hand-in-hand, moving farther and farther away. When he tries to call out to the two, he only gets a mouthful of salt water in return.

Hands grasp at him and he flails until he’s breaking the surface and being hauled onto a boat. “Buck? What are you doing here? Where’s Chris?” Buck freezes, looking Eddie in his eyes. How does he tell his best friend, the man he’s come to love, that he lost his kid? He can’t bear to look at Eddie’s hurt gaze, not with how guilty he feels. And it may make him seem like a coward, but he closes his eyes against the harsh truth. “Buck, where the hell is my son?”

When he opens his eyes, there’s people all around, still recuperating from the powerful wave that hit Los Angeles. His arm is bandaged now, and despite feeling drowsy and exhausted, Buck stands on shaking legs.

He’s got to find Christopher.

*****

Buck looks at all the unconscious bodies around him, desperately looking for the little boy that he loves dearly. “Uh, hey.” The nurse in charge of the station looks up at him. “Excuse me, I- I’m looking for a kid. Uh, um, he’s got brown hair. C- Chr- Christopher Diaz.”

“How old?”

“Um, eight. Last name is Diaz.”

“Christopher Diaz. . . No. Not here.” No, he has to be here. Chris has to be here. “You may want to check over there at the black tent.”

Buck looks over, swallowing thickly at the sight of lined body bags. The only thing worse than telling Eddie that he lost his only son is that’s Eddie’s only son is zipped up in a body bag.

“I- isn’t that the. . ?”

“The morgue.” And for her part, the nurse looks as though she can’t handle being so blunt, and steps away before Buck can ask any more questions. “Excuse me.”

She’s already done her damage anyway. And Buck’s left standing there, feeling lost and empty and hurt. He slowly makes his way over to the tent, but he can’t muster up the courage to find a helper, to ask for Christopher Diaz on the list of names of bodies.

Instead, he borrows someone’s phone, dialing a number he knows by heart.

_“Hello?”_

“Hey, it’s me.”

_“Buck? Where are you? I don’t know this number.”_

“I borrowed someone else’s phone.” Buck sighs, looking back over his shoulder as though expecting Chris to just pop out. “Maddie, I need your help.”

_“Okay, uh, tell me what’s wrong. Are you hurt?”_

Buck breathes deeply, trying his best to keep his voice steady, to keep the tears from rolling. “Eddie dropped Christopher off with me. Um, he- he thought do- doing some activities with him w- would get me out of my apartment and out of my head.” He shakes his head, closes his eyes from the sight of body bags, and opens them again, facing the many injured victims of the tsunami seeking help. “Maddie, I brought him to the pier.”

_“Oh my god, you were there?”_

“I had him. Mads, I—” Buck’s voice cracks, and he swallows the sob. “I had him! I- I kept him safe. We were, um. . . we were on top of the ladder truck, and then the water receded.”

_“Okay, you’re not answering me. Are you injured? Bleeding?”_

“No, it doesn’t _MATTER_! Don’t you hear what I’m saying? Christopher. . . is gone. I checked the emergency refuge camps at the Promenade and then the high school—”

_“Okay, did you check the VA hospital? The command center. You know, on Sawtelle.”_

“I’m here now and he—” _Shit. Shit, shit, shit._ Buck blood freezes over and he ducks quickly before Eddie can turn and spot Buck through the crowd. He knows Eddie could spot Buck from a mile away. “Oh god! Not now!”

_“What?”_

“Eddie’s here.”

 _“Does he know what happened?”_ Buck’s silence is enough of an answer for Maddie. _“Evan, you have to tell him.”_

“How? How do you tell your best friend that you lost his son?”

_“No, no, no, no. He’s his **father**. Okay? You have to tell him that Christopher’s missing.”_

“No, Maddie, I need to keep on looking for him. I need to find him!”

_“Buck, you are in no condition to go looking for Christopher by yourself. I’m coming down there.”_

“No, no. No. Maddie!” She’s hung up already, leaving him with no choice. Because if he goes to find Chris and Maddie shows up, she’s definitely going to tell Eddie. And it’s best coming from Buck.

So, he steps out, part of him hoping that Eddie is elsewhere helping someone out.

“Buck?” So much for that. He looks up as Eddie strides to him face full of concern and confusion. “Wait, what are you doing here? Are you okay? Where’s Christopher—”

“Eddie!” Buck cuts him off because he certainly can’t take the onslaught of questions. He watches as Eddie’s gaze lingers on his chest, the glasses.

“Why do you have his glasses?”

Buck wishes the Earth would just finish the damn job it started. If it’s gonna try to take him, it better take him now. He wants to be saved from the pain of losing not only a child that’s dear to him, but a child that isn’t even his own. He wants to be saved from watching Eddie’s face contort to one of hurt and denial as the obvious sinks in.

He wishes that some reckless kid hadn’t blown up the ladder truck. Because then, Buck wouldn’t have been benched. Buck wouldn’t have gone through the pain of quitting his job. Eddie wouldn’t have dropped Chris off with him in an attempt to get him back in high spirit. He wouldn’t have taken Chris to the pier. And the two wouldn’t have been caught in a horrible, unexpected tsunami.

“We, um. . .” Buck gently removes the glasses from his neck, shakily handing them to Eddie. “Me- me and Christopher, we were. . . at the beach. And um. . .” He can’t do it. Buck tries hard, but he’s failing his emotional battle. His voice waivers, and he wants nothing more than to look away from Eddie’s hardening gaze. “And, listen to me, okay? I- I swear to you. . .” It breaks his heart more, more than thinking that Eddie was mad, to watch Eddie’s mouth set in a line. He watches the water welling in his eyes. And between the two of them, it’s Eddie who struggles to hold eye contact, glancing away and back to Buck and nodding somberly. “I- I tried. And. . . I just. . . But, I- I- I- Eddie. I don’t know how to say it, um. . . h- he just. . .”

Eddie’s not even looking at Buck anymore. Something in his expression changes as he looks off at something behind Buck, muttering Christopher’s name before moving past Buck.

“Eddie. . . Eddie!” He watches as the man approaches a woman holding a smaller body.

“Christopher?”

“DAD!” Everything stops. A quiet rushes over him, the only sound ringing through his ears is the sound of Chris’ soft voice, calling out to his father. He watches in shock as Eddie cradles the boy in his arms, hugging him tightly and offering encouraging words.

Chris is alive.

He’s alive and safe in Eddie’s arms.

“Buck?” A voice pierces through the haze, and he becomes aware of Chim, Hen, and Bobby right in front of him. Chim’s got a hand on his shoulder, looking at him in concern. “What happened to you?”

He grasps Chim’s arm but doesn’t look away. He doesn’t want to. He wants to know it’s real. Christopher’s real. He wants to hold the boy but doesn’t know how he can after risking his life, losing him for hours. Who knows what Chris what through because of Buck?

“Hey.” Bobby frowns, glancing back to also take in Eddie graciously holding his son. “You two okay?”

And he can finally rest. And maybe it’s because half of him is exhausted and the other half desperately needs to see Chris that causes him to tip forward. He would’ve landed smack on his face had the rest of the team not been in front of him, there to catch him before he falls.

They sit him down on one of the cots, and he’s clutching tightly to Hen, body screaming for rest, but he can’t take his eyes off Christopher.

Because Christopher is alive.

He’s not lost.

He’s safe.

///////

After everything he went through, one would think that Buck would do nothing but sleep. But here he sits at his table, a bottle of beer in his hand, running on a few hours of sleep. A part of his doesn’t want to fall asleep, doesn’t want to relive the past few _long_ hours of his life. Another part of him is still struggling to grasp that Chris is okay, is yelling at his body that sleep is of no importance when Chris is still out there, lost and alone and probably so scared.

He’s haunted, by the memories of bodies floating down the streets and stuck in piles of debris. He’s haunted by the cries of help and the cries of those mourning. He’s haunted by the siren ringing loud and true of the tsunami that will bring a new level of emotional pain to Buck. But nothing haunts him more than the cries of Chris, calling out to Buck to help him as he clings to dear life to avoid being washed away by the salty waters of the Pacific Ocean.

A knock at his door is the only thing to break him out of his trance. And when he opens it, the last people he expects to see are Eddie and Chris, waiting for him with warm smiles. But that’s what he gets.

Chris moves forward, new red crutches clacking against the tile floor loudly. “Hey, Buck!”

“Good morning, Buck!” Eddie echoes, just as cheerful as Chris embraces him in a hug. His hand falters for a second, almost scared before running over Chris’ soft, _dry_ hair. Down the back of his _dry_ shirt. It’s all he needs to snap out of his cautious state and hug the boy closer.

“H- Hey, Buddy.”

“Okay!” Eddie strides past the two, stopping at Buck’s table and setting down Christopher’s bag. “There’s a morning snack and midday snack, two coloring books, and a bunch of Legos.” Eddie glances up as Buck shuts the door in confusion. “Between us, he’s never built anything that kinda looks like anything, he just likes sticking things together. Sit right there, Buddy.”

Chris hurriedly makes his way over to Buck’s couch, as Eddie looks back to Buck with a smile. “There’s twenty bucks for pizza. And if I were you, I’d eat a couple extra slices. Look like you’re wasting away to nothing.”

“Eddie.”

“I will say, honestly, you being laid up is working out for me. I mean, you’re no abuela and you’re half a Carla, but you’ll do in a pinch.”

Buck moves forward, eyebrows furrowed deeply. “You want _me_ to watch Christopher?”

“It’s easy. He’s not very fast.”

“After everything that happened?”

“A natural disaster happened, Buck.”

“I **_LOST_** him, Eddie.”

“You **_SAVED_** him. That’s how he remembers it.” Buck glances to where Chris has switched on the tv before looking back to Eddie. “Now it’s his turn to do the same for you.”

“I- I w- I was ‘posed to look out for him.”

“And what? You think you failed?” Eddie shakes his head. “I failed that kid more times than I care to count. And I’m his _father_. But I love him enough to never stop trying. And I know you do, too.”

“Buck.” Buck avoids his gaze, so Eddie places a hand on his shoulder, trying to chase Buck’s gaze with his own. When he can’t catch it, he cradles Buck’s head in his other hand, and leans up to catch Buck’s lips with his. That gets Buck’s attention. His eyes fall close, and he relaxes under Eddie’s touch as he gives the man what he’s wanting to give him for practically the past year. Eddie pulls away, much to soon for Buck’s liking, and says the one thing that makes Buck’s heart swell. “There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”

Buck blinks, heart racing as his frown eases away. And in his moment of confidence, he leans down, catching Eddie’s lips with his own. He lets his hands cup Eddie’s face, and lets his emotions just do the talking for him. And when they pull back, because there’s only so much the two can do with Christopher just in the other room, Eddie lets his hands and gaze linger before patting Buck on the shoulder and turning towards the couch.

“Okay, Buddy!” Buck is standing there, letting it sink in that he kissed Eddie. Eddie kissed him. And then a smile finally breaks out onto his face, small and shy. “Gotta go. Love ya, have fun.”

Eddie moves back towards Buck, a sly smile on his face. “Maybe try going to the zoo this time. Something inland.”

Buck scoffs with an eye roll and Eddie smiles triumphantly, pausing at the door to look back at Buck once more. “Oh, uh. . . Thank you. For not giving up.”

Buck would never give up.

Not on Chris.

Not on Eddie.

He loves them too much to ever give up on them. And he’s glad to have them in his life. And he’ll be damned if he lets that slip through his fingers.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while. Where have I been? Well, I got a bad case of the writers block because I was stumped on the direction I wanted this chapter to go in. And then while I was suffering in my writers block, I ended up being grounded, so fun. And then I got lost in the endless sea of KPOP, I'm now a STAY and Felix and Hyunjin are my bias so I've been drowning in SKZ songs and videos for the past week or so. Turned out to be a good thing because I finally overcame my writers block and I will be starting the next chapter right after I post this.
> 
> The warning for this chapter is just trauma, bit of a sad feel. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy!

_“RUN!”_

_The many people around him run in slow motion, coincidentally as if they were trying to sprint through water. Ironic seeing as a wall of such is right on their heels._

_“GET OFF THE PIER!”_

_The warmth of the water does nothing to alleviate the chill that runs over his body as the last clear thing he sees is Chris’ fear-stricken face as Buck is jumping over the side of the baseball toss station. He’s still in midair when the wave catches them, arm outstretched for Chris before the water snatches him away._

_“CHRISTOPHER!”_

“BUCK!” Buck bolts upright, blinking rapidly and breathing heavily as he tries to calm his racing heart and become aware of his surroundings. Next to him Eddie stirs, pushing himself up in the bed and squinting at Buck in confusion.

“Buck, are you okay?”

His chest is still heaving as he turns his wide eyes to Eddie. “I thought I heard—”

“BUCK!”

Buck hops out of the bed immediately and practically sprints out of the room, leaving Eddie to catch up. When he throws Chris’ door open, he finds the boy sitting up in bed with tears streaming down his face. Buck wastes no time as he finds himself on the bed with Chris, holding the boy close to his chest.

“Hey, Chris! Chris, I’m right here. I’m right here.” Buck looks up as he rocks Chris softly, catching Eddie’s sad gaze as the older man watches the two somberly. “I’m right here.”

///////

“Tired?” Gwen cocks an eyebrow as Buck yawns loudly, stretching until he feels a satisfying pop in his joints before going back to scrubbing the dishes.

“It’s fine.”

“Chris? Or you?” Buck sighs, setting the dishes down to turn and face Gwen tiredly.

“All of us are tired—Chris, Eddie, and me. I wake up from my own nightmare. And then I go comfort Chris until he falls back asleep from his nightmare. And Eddie refuses to go back to sleep until he knows that the Chris and I are sleeping okay.”

“You’ve been over at Eddie’s house a lot.”

“I have to make sure Chris is okay.”

“Yes, but that’s not the only reason.” She doesn’t state it as a question, she states it as a fact. “So, you gonna tell me when things finally changed between the two of you?”

Buck chuckles softly with a shake of his head. “After the tsunami. I think we realized just how much we need each other. Nothing opens your eyes more than a near death experience.” He sighs sadly, pushing off the counter and moving to sit at the table across from Gwen. “I just wished we’d come to that revelation before I lost my job.”

“You mean before you quit your job.”

“They were gonna put me on desk duty.”

“And?”

“I don’t want desk duty!” Buck shakes his head, leaning forward intently. “I love my job and my family at the 118—”

“Clearly not enough to put in the time and effort to get back to them.”

Buck frowns, leaning back in confusion. “I—Of course I do.”

“You’re not showing it.” Gwen smiles kindly, but her eyes are fierce. “I was ecstatic to have you, Buck. All I could think about was my excitement to hold my first son and be able to watch him grow into a respectable young man. Do you honestly think that I wanted to go through nine months of growing as big as a house? I love you, Buck, but you were a nuisance and a rough kicker. Always ready to go out before you were ready. I see that hasn’t changed.”

Buck smiles sheepishly before nodding understandingly. “So, what should I do?”

“I’m going to give you the same advice every mother gives their son when they’ve made a mistake: get your head out of your ass and go back and fix what you did wrong.”

Buck smiles wider. “I see where TK gets his sass.”

“You’re also gonna see where he gets his feistiness if you don’t get to fixing your mistake.”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

///////

By the time the engine rolls to a stop, there’s already a few other stations there; men clad in the firefighter uniform direct people to safety as others rush inside to see where they can help.

Bobby is the first one out of the truck, glancing up at the tall structure. Chimney strolls up next to him, breathing out a sigh at the sight.

“My God, that’s the biggest damn fire I’ve never seen.”

Hen sighs from her spot by Eddie as the two work the hydrant. “I hate fire drills.”

Eddie shakes his head in agreeance. “City mandates we do ‘em every three years. Can’t fight city hall.”

“First alarm was triggered at twelve-twenty, call came in thirty seconds later, boots down, hoses out by twelve-forty-three.”

Eddie sighs as he stands, looking at Bobby questioningly. “That’s what?”

“Four minutes over our allotted response time.”

“Ouch,” Chim says as he hoists the hose onto his shoulder. “That’s gonna cost us some points.”

“Someone’s gonna have to explain that to the new fire marshal.” Chim looks at Hen who looks to Eddie who looks to Bobby. All three do their best to hold back their smiles as Bobby sighs and almost drops his head.

*****

“There was a stalled bus blocking both directions on Gland,” Bobby explains. “Vehicles couldn’t clear a path, which delayed our arrival.”

Buck scrunches his face but the smile still spreads. He may be having just a little bit of fun with his new position. “And yet the 144 managed a response time in under six minutes. That is a full seventeen minutes before the 118.”

Bobby fixes Buck with a deadpanned look and Buck feels as though he’s home even if he’s not completely there yet. “The 144 is five blocks away.”

“I hear you, Bobby,” Bobby makes a face as though he wants to both laugh at Buck and smack him. “I do. And I wanna help. I gotta be impartial here, y’know? Look, if I’m gonna do this kind of light duty, I gotta take it seriously, okay? Be strictly by the book—just how you would want me to be.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. I’m glad you didn’t throw away your career just cause you had a little setback.”

“I learned one thing from that tsunami; it’s that I don’t quit, I fight. I’m gonna keep on fighting until I get back to where I belong: with my team putting out fake fires like this one.”

Bobby shakes his head with a smile. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

He strides past Buck and Buck turns with his own smile. “Be careful not to logjam at the stairwells. I have to. . .” Buck grimaces as he watches Bobby head off towards the stairwell before making tick marks on the paper, watching men and women hustle in and out the building and reminding himself to be patient. He’ll get there.

Eddie strides past him, sending him a wink that makes Buck bow his head to conceal his cheeky grin. “Fire Marshal Buckley.”

“Firefighter Diaz.” Eddie’s eyes twinkle before he turns his gaze back to the task he heads towards.

Seconds later, Hen and Chim stride past him, complaining about the drill as usual.

“Hey, Buck, how we doing?” Chim calls.

Buck grimaces jokingly. “You don’t wanna know.”

The two make their way to Bobby and Eddie and, at the sound of shouts of surprise and cries of pain, Buck, too, makes his way towards the stairwell. Something happens from within the stairwell that makes Eddie, Hen, and Chim rush forward and when Buck arrives, he finds people all fallen against each other as if they were a line of dominoes that someone decided to knock down.

Buck breathes out a sigh as he holds his clipboard up, bringing his pencil to paper as he feels Bobby glancing over his shoulder to look at the paper.

_I tried to warn you, Bobby._

*****

“Well, it’s a good thing this wasn’t an actual five-alarm fire.”

Buck can hear Bobby’s eye roll, much to his amusement. “Yeah, that is a good thing.”

“Probably doesn’t help that you’re a man down. You know, I will be sure to mention that in my report.”

“Thanks,” Bobby replies bluntly before quickening his strides. Buck waits till he’s out of ear range before letting out a little chuckle.

“No problem.”

“I see you can still annoy Cap from any job you have.” Buck smirks as Eddie comes to a stop next to him. Inconspicuously, Eddie brings up his hand to intertwine his fingers with Buck, their clasped hands hidden by his clipboard to make it seem as though they’re just pointing at a spot on a paper.

“I’m sure he’s fine, he’s only getting half of my usual banter than he normally gets.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll love it when he gets his usual banter when you’re back with us again.”

Eddie smiles and Buck has to physically restrain himself to keep from kissing him right here, right now. Eddie lets go of his hand, starting to move forward before stopping and turning back to face him.

“Oh, Pepa’s having Chris tonight. She insists that I get one good night’s sleep.” Eddie cocks an eyebrow questioningly. “Coming over?”

Buck scoffs. “Is that even a question?”

Eddie smiles widely before turning back to catch up with the 118.

*****

Buck falls back against the couch with a huff, letting out a breathy chuckle. “What happened to “good night’s sleep”, Edmundo?”

“Screw sleep,” Eddie mumbles before leaning down kiss Buck once more. This kiss isn’t like the first time; they’re two wild frat boys, hands roaming and grasping everything and lips parting to take in big gulps of air before going right back to memorizing every small detail of one another.

When Eddie pulls back, it’s with a smirk. “You know. . .” Eddie leans down to Buck’s neck and the latter lets his eyelids flutter close as Eddie begins to kiss along his collarbone. “There is one advantage to you being temporarily gone.” Buck lets out a gasp as Eddie let’s his teeth sink into his skin ( _those goddamn canines_ ) before immediately sucking at it. “Nobody will question who gave you that.” The cherry on top is Eddie’s cool breath blowing against neck. Buck sighs in contempt with his eyes closed before letting them open and catching a glimpse at the clock.

“Eds, it’s twelve-fifty. Pepa’s gonna kill me when she sees you’re still tired.” Buck chuckles at Eddie’s groan as Buck moves to sit up. He stands, moving away from the couch and towards Eddie’s bedroom. “Or you can stay awake all you want. I’ll just be in your bed. Alone. Waiting for you.”

Buck doesn’t think he’s seen Eddie move any faster before now.

///////

Eddie is still tired. Buck can see it even from far away in his stance. _Ha. . ._ Buck chuckles lightly to himself. _Should’ve gone to sleep, Edmundo._

He looks around the station, his home, with a big smile on his face as he approaches Chim, Eddie, and Hen. “You guys paint? Why does the place look smaller?”

“I think your head just got bigger,” Chim offers, though all three share fond smiles. Clearly, Buck has been missed.

Buck cocks his head at Chim with his eyebrows raised as if to say _oh really?_ before smiling widely at Eddie, who rolls his eyes and bites back a smirk. Buck’s almost half-tempted to tell Eddie that he looks tired.

“So, Fire Marshal Buck decided to drop off his report in person?” Buck turns to Bobby with a smile, waving the folder enthusiastically. “Is that a sign of maturity? Or is it just revenge for all the times I’ve written you up?”

“Actually, uh, you passed.” Buck smirks as Bobby’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Bumped up the numbers, got fancy with the math.”

Eddie strolls up to Bobby’s side as Bobby opens the file, the former shaking his head with a teasing smirk. “You don’t know math.”

Bobby chuckles at Eddie’s proclamation which only makes Buck smile wider. “Which will be my excuse if anybody calls me out on it.” And then he frowns, looking to all of them questioningly. “Uh, speaking of, did any of you guys get a call from that lawyer?”

Hen rolls her eyes. “The ambulance chaser?”

“Yeah, he wants to talk to me about the building violations. Think somebody might be suing them.”

Chim nods. “Yeah, he was passing out cards like candy.”

“Hey, Diaz!” Eddie looks over Buck’s shoulder as Buck turns to look by the gym as well. A woman Buck has never seen at the station before sits at the bench press. “I need a spot over here.”

“Gotchu!” Eddie replies before turning his gaze back to Buck, who still hasn’t looked away from the newcomer. Eddie even patted Buck on the shoulder, but his attention did not shift. “Hey, good to see you, man.”

“Uh, w- who’s that?” Bobby’s mouth open and closes like a fish and he turns to Hen and Chim who’ve already started walking away with their heads down.

“Her name is Lena Bosko. Her station was smack in the middle of the impact zone, her crew is temporarily reassigned so I brought her over here.”

“You replaced me?”

Bobby’s eyebrows raise high as he shakes his head. “What? No.”

But Buck isn’t looking at Bobby, he’s looking at the space where his uniform would hang with a growing scowl. “Then what’s that right there?”

That space belongs to Buck, which is why Buckley would be written there. But someone’s put tape over the -uckley in his name and wrote -osko over it. Now instead of Buckley, the name tag reads B **osko**. It doesn’t even look natural, all the more reason why it doesn’t belong there.

“Buck, relax. I promise you your place will still be here for you when you’re ready.”

“Cap, I’m ready now!”

“Buck, listen to me—” The bell rings before Bobby can go on further and the man grimaces as he turns to head towards the engine. “We will talk soon.”

He watches Eddie run off with Lena Bosko, his scowl growing deeper even though he knows he’s with Eddie. Or is he? Had they even really talked about their relationship yet? No. But he’s not jealous because they still have something that Lena can’t come in and just take away.

He sighs as the engines roll out, shaking his head as he strides up to his space and puts all his malice into ripping off the tape that covers his name.

///////

When Buck opens the door, Eddie immediately rushes forward and kicks it closed while he pulls Buck into his embrace, kissing him earnestly. He pulls back a few seconds later, letting his forehead rest against Buck’s as he cradles his head.

“Buck. . . Evan, listen to me. You’re not being replaced. I promise you you’re not being replaced.”

“It’s fine—”

“It’s not because you weren’t there when I got home. I know you, Buck. You’re upset but you don’t need to be.”

“I just think I should probably stay here tonight. I feel as though I’m overstepping—”

“Buck, stop. You know that Chris wants you there. That _I_ want you there.” Eddie pulls back to look Buck in the eyes. “And I’m sure as hell not letting you sleep alone because then I’ll be up all night worrying if you’re okay. So, you’re coming home with me, okay?”

Buck nods but Eddie doesn’t let his fierce gaze waiver. “Okay.”

*****

“DAD!”

Eddie startles awake, wondering first why the spot next to him is empty before telling himself that’s not important at the moment. “Christopher. . .”

He can hear his son mumbling as he rounds the corner and enters Chris’ room, flipping on the light switch. Chris’ arms immediately go up and Eddie goes to hold him close. “She was drowning.”

Christopher continues mumbling about someone drowning and Eddie frowns as he rocks Chris, kissing him on the forehead. “It’s okay, buddy. I’m here.” Eddie glances up, catching Buck in the doorway watching with sad eyes. Eddie reaches his arm out, beckoning Buck. “We’re both here.”

Buck moves reluctantly at first before sitting on the other side of Chris, letting his head rest on Eddie’s shoulder as he runs a hand through Chris’ hair.

“We’re all here.”

~~

“Where were you?”

“I woke up earlier and you were still sleeping so I let you sleep.” Buck sighs, tapping against the glass of water he’d been drinking before Chris woke up. “I know I can’t control the weather, but sometimes I just can’t help but look at Chris and feel that it’s my fault.”

“Buck, it’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it, Eddie? I lost him.”

“You saved him.”

“And then I lost him again!” Buck sighs, lets a hand drag down his face. “He kept talking about a woman drowning, Eddie. But while he was with me, I made sure he didn’t see anything remotely dreadful. Whatever he was talking about Eddie, it happened while I didn’t have him.”

“Buck—”

“You should be angry with me, Eds!” Eddie jumps slightly at Buck’s change in attitude; it’s as though Buck is angry but mainly at himself. “I had one job which was to keep Christopher safe and I turned my back to him. I literally turned my back to him and now he has nightmares because I failed to keep him safe.”

“Stop.” Eddie shakes his head angrily, moving to stand in front of Buck. “My son is alive. He may be having nightmares, but he is alive. And that’s because you didn’t give up. You never give up. Yes, Christopher got lost. But here you are, still making sure that he finds his way back to where he needs to be. Buck, you never fail to keep him safe. You keep him safe every day. It’s about time you start realizing that.”

///////

“So, we can agree there was some negligence during this fire drill.”

Buck scoffs, shaking his head. “Nah. I wouldn’t agree with that, no.”

“Your after-action report says, “The LAFD exceeded the evacuation time requirement by twelve minutes”.”

Buck scoffs, rolling his eyes as he resituates himself in the chair. Lawyers are ruthless. This one is an absolute pig. All Buck wants to do is leave. “That’s actually a pretty decent time for clearing a thirty-five-story building. Look, all your questions seem to be about the department. I thought your client was suing the building.”

“Clients,” He raises his eyebrows smugly. “Forty-two injured people the LAFD failed to protect. This is a class action against the city on all their behalf’s.”

Buck frowns. Just how is it the LAFD’s fault that an epileptic man had a seizure? It was simply a misfortunate event. “You’re suing the city?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And you think I’m gonna help you with that?” That’s real funny. This guy’s a stand-up comedian. Buck’s family works for the city. Does this guy really expect Buck to sue his own family?

“I find disgruntled employees often make the best witnesses.”

Buck fumbles over his own words. _Disgruntled?_ “Uh. . . I- I’m not disgruntled.”

The man has the audacity to laugh right in Buck’s face. “I looked into you. I know about the accident, how you’ve been fighting with the LAFD to return to full duty because of the blood thinners.”

“They’re just trying to protect the department.”

“And who’s protecting you?”

He doesn’t need protection because he’s fine. But if he’s fine, how come he still can’t get back to his job? Buck grinds his teeth to keep his tears at bay and instead scowls at the man. “Yeah, I can take care of myself. Watch.”

With a bitter smile, Buck stands and makes his way to the door. Halfway there, he turns around with a fire burning deep in him. “You know, the city that you’re trying to make look bad is not some corporation. Those city employees, those firefighters that you can’t wait to smear, are heroes. So you wanna know who’s got my back? They do. See, they’re more than coworkers or friends, they’re my family. There’s nothing stronger than family.”

///////

“So, I told that lawyer off big time.” Athena chuckles, cutting a glance to Bobby as Buck smiles proudly. “You know, I said, “You’re not gonna get me to sign any affidavit that blames the 118 for anything”.”

“Appreciate that,” Bobby says, cutting into the yams he fixed for dinner.

“Please, the nerve of that guy. To think I would turn on my friends? Uh-uh.” Buck leans back, taking in the set table and resisting the urge to lick his lips. “Whew, I missed your cooking, Cap.”

“Well, I miss your. . . eating.” Bobby smiles. “Never have to worry about leftovers.”

“Collard greens?” Athena asks, holding up the bowl of vegetables invitingly.

Buck shakes his head no matter how delicious they look. “Oh! No, not for me. Uh, I can’t eat those.” Athena shares a confused glance with Bobby. “Not while I’m on the blood thinners. Too much vitamin K.”

“Oh,” Athena says, smiling proudly as she scoops some greens onto Bobby’s plate. She gives her husband a pointed glance. “Sounds like you’re taking your health very seriously.”

“I figure the better I manage this, the sooner I can go back to work.”

“That’s very mature of you, Buck.”

“Thank you. Hey, that lawyer, uh, he got me thinking. There’s strength in numbers, right? Maybe I could get everyone to sign a statement of support or something, show the higher ups that you guys don’t think I’m a liability.”

Bobby raises his eyebrows high. “Buck—”

“They’d have to listen, right?”

“I want you to listen to me—”

“If you told them that I was ready, I mean, the- these dumbasses, they would- they would have no right to keep me—”

“I’m the dumbass.” Buck furrows his eyebrows, looking from Athena to Bobby in confusion.

“Uh. . . what?”

“You’re not ready.” Bobby says it firmly, gaze set solely on Buck. He means what he says. “That’s what I told them when they asked.”

Buck can hear Athena grab something from off the table, but he doesn’t turn when she asks, “Would anybody like any corn bread?”

Bobby turns, reaching for some corn bread as if he hadn’t just dropped the biggest bombshell. “You’re the reason they wouldn’t let me back?” All the defending Buck just did for Bobby. No, his team, his family, has his back. That’s what he told the lawyer. They are his biggest support, that’s what he thought.

“The medication is the reason.” An excuse. A fucking excuse. All this time, Buck thought that the department figured him to be a liability because they’re just stupid. No, they think he’s a liability because Bobby, his Captain, a man he sees as a father figure, painted him as a liability.

“Bobby is just worried about you, Buck, that’s all,” Athena tries to amend, but it’s too late. The elephant in the room will not be going away that easy. “We all are.”

“I thought you were on my side. I thought you were my friend.”

“I _am_ your friend.” _Bullshit. Fucking bullshit._ “I am also the Captain of almost twenty other firefighters whose lives and safety depend on decisions I make and I can’t put them at risk. If you’re not operating at one hundred percent—”

“I am AT ONE HUNDRED PERCENT! I—” Bobby and Athena startle as Buck bangs his fist against the table in frustration. He brings his hands up to drag down his face. He wants to scream, cry, and punch something all at the same time. Why is it no one seems to notice how _hard_ he’s working to get back to what he loves? Why can’t they see that he is perfectly fine? “Maybe even more, y’know? I- I- I’ve never. . . fel- felt so good.”

“Buck, I know that you went through a lot in that tsunami and maybe you feel like you can survive anything—"

Buck scoffs bitterly. “Anything. Like the knife in my back?” Buck stands, shaking his head sadly. “Um, Athena, I just wanna say thank you for inviting me. . .”

“Buck. . .”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“You don’t—”

“I gotta—”

“You don’t have to leave.”

“I’ve gotta go.”

“Okay, Buck, hold on!”

“You don’t have to leave!”

“Buck!”

Buck speeds up his pace as his breath’s start coming out in pants. He’s on the verge of crying and letting out a scream and he puts all his frustration into slamming Athena’s door on the way out.

He struggles to get his jeep started from the way his hands are shaking, but he gets it eventually, pulling out and driving a good ways before pulling into an empty parking lot. He grips the wheel tightly, feels the hot tears run down his face before he lets it out. He punches at his wheel, screaming at nothing in particular before letting his head rest against the wheel and openly sobbing for God knows how long.

///////

“I want to sue the city for wrongful termination.”

“Excuse me?” Gwen blinks in confusion as Buck continues past her and towards the kitchen. She closes her front door before following behind her son.

“I want to sue the city for wrongful termination,” Buck repeats. “And I want you to be my lawyer.”

“Can I ask why?” She frowns as she gets a glimpse of the bags under Buck’s eye and the redness of his actual eyes. “Buck, did you go to sleep last night? And have you been crying?”

“Yes, I have.” Buck doesn’t deny it. Especially since that much is very obvious. “All this hard work I’ve been doing and it turns out the department won’t let me back because Bobby told them I wasn’t ready. He’s treating me as if I’m some liability. Mom, he was supposed to be _helping_ me and he’s done jack squat.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Buck.”

Buck pauses, furrowing his eyebrows. “You agree with him?”

“Buck, a whole ladder truck crushed your leg. When you were on crutches, you had to play hero and potentially injure your leg more. You got back here and pushed yourself too hard and suffered a pulmonary embolism. Then you got caught up in a tsunami.” Gwen shakes her head. “You need a break. A real break. Stop rushing things for once.”

“But—”

“Maybe you are ready, maybe you’re not. But I know Bobby certainly isn’t going to believe the former. Not when you were so adamant last night and ended up coughing up blood at your celebratory party.” Gwen sighs with a shake of her head, sitting down on one of the stools. “And just what do you expect to gain from suing your friends?”

“My job back,” Buck states confidently.

“And you expect them to just welcome you back with open arms after you put them on trial?” Buck stumbles. He just wants his job back, they’d understand, right? “Buck, I’ve seen my fair share of friendships be ruined because one decided to take the other to court. Trust me, you do not want to take your friends to court. It will not be pretty.”

“Well, what do you suggest I do then?”

“First off, you need time away from Los Angeles to cool down. And then, you need to talk with Bobby and convince him of how ready you are to be back with the 118. Prove it to him.”

///////

A whole day. Buck spent a whole day away from Los Angeles with Gwen. There’s nothing wrong with that. He needed to clear his head and calm down before he did something he’d regret, which he thanks his mom for wholeheartedly.

The problem is the night before he went to see his mom, he had chucked his phone at a wall in frustration. So, for two whole days he went without contacting anybody. On the way back into Los Angeles, he and Gwen had to stop at a store and buy him a new phone.

When he got it set up, the device began to ring non-stop with messages from Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen, TK, Owen, and, most importantly, Eddie.

Stupid.

Buck was so stupid that in the heat of his breakdown, he forgot to call Eddie and let him know that he was alright, that he’d be gone for a day. And Chris. . . god, what about Chris? How could he forget about Chris?

Buck disappeared without a word to anyone. When he got in his feelings, he up and disappeared. How is he supposed to prove to Bobby that he is ready to be back with the 118 after such an immature move?

“Where’ve you been?” Is the clipped tone Eddie gives Buck the moment he opens the door and sees that it’s Buck.

“I left with my mom to just clear my head and my phone was broken and. . . I didn’t mean to ghost anybody.”

“So, is it safe to assume on the off-chance I say or do something you don’t like, you’re gonna run off with your mom to God knows where without a word to anyone?” Eddie chuckles lightly, rolling his eyes before pointing at Buck condescendingly. “You know, you and Chris are really alike; you like to keep your feelings bottled up instead of talking about it. That’s not how a relationship works, Buck.”

“I know, and I’m sorry—”

“I don’t doubt that. Well, Chris isn’t here tonight and I think it’ll be best if you sleep at your place.”

“Eds, come on!”

“Goodnight, Buck.”

The door closes before Buck can give a response and Buck sighs before trudging back to his jeep.

*****

“Listen, I just want to apologize for the way I acted the other night. It was entirely inappropriate and, if you don’t mind, I’ll make it up to you if you want.”

Bobby shakes his head. “It’s fine, Buck. Listen, I’ve been talking with Athena and maybe I’ve been a little too hard on you. I talked to the department; they’re letting you come back.”

Buck breathes out a laugh of surprise, smile breaking out onto his face. “Really?”

“Really, Buck,” Athena strides up next to Bobby with a warm smile. “I helped the dumbass realize how much of a dumbass he was being.”

The three chuckle lightly and Buck shakes his head. “You’re not the only one. My mom talked me out of being a dumbass, too. She stopped me from filing a lawsuit against you.”

Bobby’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but he still smiles all the same. “Remind me to thank her for that.”

“Oh, I most certainly will.” Buck smiles warmly. “I don’t know what I would do without her.”

“Well, you should bring her over so we can be formally introduced,” Athena says, opening the door wider. “And about that dinner, want to try again? Bobby and I were just about to start cooking, that is, if you don’t have any plans tonight?”

“A chance to eat your cooking?” Buck smiles as he strides through the door. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The warnings for this chapter includes car crash, mentions of impalement and loss of digits, hurt/comfort, and character death.
> 
> Ah, I'm sorry guys. Prepare yourself, this is going to be an emotional roller coaster.

“Have I told you how thankful I am of what you did for me?”

“Only a thousand times already,” Maddie calls with an eye roll. Gwen chuckles, smiling brightly at Buck.

“You’ve made it known a few times.”

“Well, I’m gonna make it known once more.” Buck situates his belt, smiling happily in his firefighter uniform. “ _Thank you_ , Mom, for helping me get my job back.”

“You’re welcome, Buck. Though, if you keep standing here thanking me, you’re gonna be late on your first day back. Go to work already.”

*****

“WELCOME BACK, BUCK!”

Buck smiles cheerfully at the calls that echo off the firehouse walls. Members move forward, clapping him on the shoulder and offering congratulatory smiles. There’s a cake sitting wonderfully on the table and Hen smiles jokingly as Buck tries to figure out it’s connection to him.

“It’s red velvet,” she offers with a sly smile. “It bleeds when you cut it.”

Buck laughs at the obvious joke about his excessive bleeding as he cuts the first slice. Red gooeyness oozes out of the cake. “Well, won’t you look at that. It does bleed.”

“Ah!” Buck freezes, his forkful of cake frozen midway to his mouth. “Lunch time. Don’t need you with a sugar high this early in the morning.”

Bobby smiles as he pointedly looks from the cake to the table, telling Buck to put it down. “Ah, come on, Bobby! Just one bite!”

“Later.”

The rest of the members snicker as, the moment Bobby turns away, Buck shovels the forkful into his mouth and chews quickly before Bobby can turn back around. They groan as Hen has no choice but to close up the cake box for now and turn to go off about the fire house.

He and Hen walk side by side as they approach Eddie, who strides into the house looking tired and with a purple bruise decorating his elbow.

“Whew, dude, are you okay?” Buck asks as he frowns at the sight. “That’s a monster.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at the sight of Buck, shaking his head. “Just rough housing with my kid.”

“Were you playing with hammers?”

“Nothing you need to be concerned with.” Buck frowns even more at Eddie’s clipped tone before turning as Chim strides up alongside Bobby.

“Welcome back, Firefighter Buckley!”

“Thanks, Chim.” Buck and Chim smile as they embrace. “Glad to be back.”

“Alright,” Bobby’s eyebrows are raised as he looks to the four of them. “Morning briefing—”

The bell goes off before Bobby can continue, and the four begin to make their way towards the trucks.

“Buck!” Buck turns back to Bobby questioningly. “You’re man behind today.”

“Uh, wh—” Buck frowns, completely facing Bobby in confusion. “I’m not going with you guys? Cap—”

“Just for now, Buck. I want you to take it easy for the time being.”

Bobby jogs off before anything else can be said, leaving Buck feeling as though he’s somehow not back to his job even though he’s got his job back.

*****

“Think you can handle it?” Buck resists the urge to roll his eyes and audibly sigh as Bobby gestures to the bucket on the table. “Teal bucket is for kids with food allergies. Everything in there is nut-free, dairy-free, egg-free, soy-free, and gluten-free.”

“And who are these for?” Buck cocks an eyebrow as he holds up a smoke detector. “Kids allergic to fun?”

Bobby rolls his eyes with a small smile as he takes the detector out of Buck’s hand and sets it back on the table. “Those are for the parents. Also, there should be some pamphlets about basic fire safety that should be in the closet.”

“Exactly how long are you gonna keep benching me?” Buck asks, irritated that after multiple days he still has yet to go back to answering calls with the team.

Bobby frowns slightly, shaking his head. “You know, Buck, some day you’re gonna figure out when to stop pushing and learn some patience. I hope we’re both alive to see it.”

Buck sneers at Bobby’s retreating back as he grabs the bag full of candy and begins to tear it open.

“You know, being stuck here isn’t actually the end of the world, it just feels like it, Buck.” Buck moves his gaze to Chim as the paramedic approaches the table. “Trust me, I know.”

Buck scoffs and Chim chuckles. “Oh, I do. My first few months here, only time I saw the outside of this building was at the start and end of my shift—on my way in, on my way out.”

Buck sighs, glancing once more in the direction Bobby had gone. “How’d you cope with it?”

Chim breathes out a laugh, eyes roaming the entire station. “Cleaned every inch of this place. Learned where everything was, how all the equipment worked. Set a new world record for getting in my turnout gear. And then, eventually, someone took pity on me and they let me outside.”

“So, basically, um. . . suck it up and be patient.” Buck frowns pettily. “Just like Bobby said.”

“You know, Cap’s not always wrong. Though he is about these smoke detectors. Nobody’s gonna want these tonight.”

Buck smiles gratefully. “No, but I am gonna hand them out anyway. Captain’s orders.”

Chim smiles brightly. “See? It can be taught.”

Chim is honestly putting Buck in high spirits again. Of all people, Buck expected it to be Hen. He smiles sarcastically at Chim and watches as the older man rolls his eyes at Buck’s expression. “In fact, I’m gonna go find those pamphlets.”

“Hey, uh. . . have you talked to Maddie today?” Buck usually says good morning to his brother and sister every morning before leaving the house, but he hasn’t talked since that good morning text.

“Uh, no, I think she’s working.” Buck frowns at the concern Chimney tries to mask, cocking his head slightly as he always does when he’s worried or concerned about his siblings. “Why?”

“Nothing, just wondering.”

Buck lets it go but makes a mental note to check up on Maddie later as he heads off to find the retched pamphlets Bobby mentioned.

///////

“That’s it, get your candy,” Buck deadpans as grubby hands reach into the candy bowls and move along greedily.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Buck pulls back one of the bowls as a little boy dressed as a prisoner reaches for more candy. “Sorry, buddy, two-piece limit. Those are the rules.”

The kid scoffs. “That’s a stupid rule.”

“Yeah, not the world’s greatest defense strategy.”

“What are you supposed to be anyway?”

Buck scrunches his face at the kid, gesturing to his uniform. “I’m a firefighter.” _Obviously_.

“So, how come you’re not out fighting fires?” _Calm down, Buck. You cannot cuss out a child._ The sound of the engine pulling in echoes off the station walls and the kid smirks. “Mom, look. The _real_ firefighters are here.”

_Dear lord, please forgive my rude thoughts. I promise to not physically jump over this table to throttle a little boy._

“Oh, my gosh.” A woman about the same height as the little boy strides over with an apologetic look. “Is he trying to get more candy out of you?”

Buck swallows his bitterness and offers a kind smile. “Um, no, no. He’s fine. In fact, here, why don’t you take a smoke detector. Keep him safe until his parole hearing.”

He sends a little glare in the kid’s direction as he and his mom stride away.

“Nice work, Buckley!” The look on Buck’s face diminishes immediately as he glances up at Bobby, pretending that he wasn’t glaring daggers at a child. “Keep it up.”

“Oh, uh, Eddie!” His boyfriend?—Eddie turns exasperatedly, cocking an eyebrow at Buck questioningly. Buck gives the man his puppy dog eyes, which normally would work on him. “You wanna. . . give me a hand with all this?”

He doesn’t actually need help, but he misses being by Ed’s side. It’s been a few days, and Eddie has made it very clear that he’s in no talking mood. He knew Eddie was angry, but he just didn’t realize that Eddie was _this_ angry. He misses Eds, and all he wants is to just go back to the connection they had.

And it looks, for a second, that Eddie misses it too, that he’s considering sidling up to Buck’s side like always. But then he frowns, shaking his head and looking back at Buck coldly. “Nah, you got this. You don’t need my help, isn’t that right?”

He holds Buck’s gaze a few seconds longer, making it very clear that he still isn’t happy that Buck up and left for a few days without a word. He then turns, continuing to where all the _real_ firefighters laugh and chat happily, leaving Buck to wallow alone.

*****

Buck is lugging a box of Halloween decorations back to storage tiredly when he runs into Eddie again, this time alone. Eddie glances at Buck and the box in his hands before looking away and continuing past him without a word.

And Buck is tired of it. He knows what he did wrong, but he wants to make it better.

“So that’s how it’s gonna now.” Buck sets the box on an empty table and turns to face Eddie, who’s stopped in his tracks and also turns to face Buck. “You’re just gonna, uh, keep on ghosting me. Cause Halloween is over, just so you know.”

Eddie scoffs dryly, looking at Buck tiredly. “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck. Forgive, forget, make you feel better about what you did?”

“I just want you to talk to me!” Eddie turns with a dark chuckle. Yeah, Buck gets the irony. “Even if it’s just to say that you’re still mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m. . .” Eddie turns back around, shaking his head. He steps closer, lowering his voice. “You know communication is a key factor in a relationship, Buck. When you decided to just leave and ignore everyone who cares about you, did you ever stop and think about what that could do to us?”

“I just. . . I was in a dark place, Eds. I needed to clear my head before I did something stupid like sue the department. Eddie, I was desperate, desperate for my job.” Buck moves closer, inwardly happy that Eddie watches his movements skeptically but doesn’t move away. “I missed. . . I missed being here. Being part of the team. Being with you. I never meant to hurt you or Chris or anyone.”

Eddie shakes his head. “Lot of I’s in there. Your actions, your choices, they impact the both of us. That’s what it means to be a part of a team.”

Buck swallows thickly, nodding understandingly. “You’re right. I didn’t think about what could happen. I was mad at Bobby for not letting me back. I was mad at you guys for moving on without me. I was mad that there was _nothing_ I could do about it. And I just. . . I just wanted to—”

“Punch someone?” Buck’s stomach does a little flip as Eddie finishes his sentence. They’re on the same wavelength, they’re a team. Buck knows that. He didn’t mean to push Eddie away, to make it seem like he wasn’t being a team player.

“Yeah, a little.” Eddie’s cold façade falls slightly, and it makes Buck happy to see bits and pieces of Eddie becoming less angry, more forgiving. That Buck maybe has a chance to get back to being a team with Eddie. “But I get it. And I really am sorry. Whatever it takes for you to forgive me—”

“I forgive you.” Buck stops in his sentence, watches as Eddie’s entire cold demeanor disappears in the blink of an eye. The corner of his mouth twitches as though he wants to smile at Buck’s dumbfounded look. “Also what it means to be part of a team.”

Buck bows his head, trying to conceal his smile, but he can’t help it. He wants to surge forward and kiss Eddie, but he’s still vaguely aware that they’re standing in the center of the station.

“Just—” Buck looks back up, his face showing nothing but the happy puppy he feels like on the inside. Eddie falters in his sentence, his condescending finger pointed at Buck as he tries to fight off the smile on his own face at Buck’s expression. Eddie loses that fight. “Just don’t do it again.”

Eddie closes the gap, bring Buck close for a hug. He chuckles quietly as they embrace, Eddie’s head immediately going to rest on his shoulder. He frowns though as he claps Eddie on the back and the man responds with a poorly concealed grunt.

Eddie pulls back, and despite the conversation they just had about being a team (and the deeper meaning of talking to each other and working their problems out _together_ ) Eddie clearly avoids Buck’s questioning gaze. He didn’t hit Eddie that hard, so why does it seem like it hurt a lot?

“Buckley!” Eddie takes Cap’s arrival as a quick exit, disappearing in the blink of an eye. Buck will definitely be asking Eddie about that later.

For now, he smiles as Bobby stops in front of him. “Candy detail’s all wrapped up, Cap, and I gave away all the smoke detectors.”

“Listen, Buck, I’ve been thinking.” Buck bites the inside of his cheek to keep his excited grin at bay. “Why don’t you go home?”

Buck frowns immediately, blinking as though he didn’t hear Bobby right. “Home? I- I still have a couple hours left on my shift.”

“I don’t wanna overtax you on your first week back.”

“I stood behind a table and got bullied by children,” Buck scoffs, but Bobby just nods.

“So you earned a few hours off.” Buck hardly thinks falling victim to bratty children equals a few hours off. “Good work today.”

*****

A beer is what Buck needs to wash away his bitterness, which is why he stops at the convenience store. He doesn’t know why, but the woman leaving the store as he pulls up catches his eye immediately. Not in an attractive type a way, but a concerning way. There’s something in the way she hobbles across the parking lot that doesn’t seem right.

She makes her way to her white car, where it seems a man has gone through her windshield. Blood even drips down the passenger door. It honestly makes Buck chuckle a little, the dedication to the Halloween decoration. But then, as the woman starts up her car, he notices the leg twitch. He frowns in realization as the leg twitches once more.

That’s no Halloween decoration. There’s an actual man bleeding out through this woman’s car windshield. And he’s still alive.

“OH! WHOA! HEY! HEY! LADY!” But she’s already driving off, so Buck moves as fast as he can back into his jeep, tires squealing loudly as he guns it to catch up to the woman.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“This is LAFD firefighter Evan Buckley. I’m going south down Vermont following a gold, 4-door sedan. There is a man embedded in the windshield.”_

_“Sorry, did you say in the windshield? We had a report about that yesterday. Is that real?”_

_“Uh, yeah, it’s definitely real, and I think he’s alive. I’m gonna approach the vehicle right now.”_

///////

“MA’AM! MA’AM, PULL OVER YOUR CAR!” The lady is paying attention to him, however. It almost seems as though she isn’t fully there mentally. He has no choice but to speed up, swerving into her path to get her to stop.

She steps out of her car at the same time Buck approaches it, looking at him as though he’s the insane one.

“You are a horrible driver. You are right in my way!” Buck holds out his hands in a calming manner, noticing a large knot on her head. That must be the reason why she’s been driving around with a man in her windshield for two days, though he doesn’t understand why she hasn’t really noticed him.

“Ma’am, I’m a firefighter.”

“Really? Well, your costume sucks,” The woman snarks, eyeing Buck’s civilian clothing with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, can I just take a look at your, um. . .” Buck grimaces as he pulls out a flashlight and shines it in both eyes, getting a better look at the knot as well as the cut on her eyebrow and the black eye that seems to be a day old. Her pupils are blown despite Buck shining the light in her eyes. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“What? What do you mean?”

Definite nerve damage. Buck moves his attention to the car as the man groans weakly.

“Uh, hey. . . you just stay right here, okay?” He moves into the car, propping an arm against the windshield to balance himself and hissing at a sharp pain that shoots up his arm. “Sir? Sir, it’s LAFD. Help is on its way.”

*****

“Want us to check you out?” One of the paramedic’s questions with a raised eyebrow as they wheel both the woman and the man into ambulances.

He furrows his eyebrows, glancing at his bloodied sweater understandingly. “Oh, it’s not mine. I have another shirt in my, uh. . .” Buck frowns as he rolls up his sleeve and notices his entire forearm painted red not with the man’s blood, but with his own that seemingly stems from a small cut that he must’ve gotten from the broken windshield. The man in front of him uses his gloved hand to gently raise Buck’s arm by his pinky finger, inspecting his bloodied arm. Buck didn’t realize that such a small cut could produce so much blood. “Maybe. . . You should know, I’m. . . I’m on blood thinners.”

*****

Buck furrows his eyebrows as he watches Bobby stride through the hospital doors with urgency, stopping at the front desk.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a patient brought in not long ago. Evan Buckley?”

“Uh, Bobby?” Bobby turns, his face a mask of worry and concern.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“They said you were injured, that you cut yourself.”

Buck scoffs, holding up his now bandaged arm. “Yeah, I, uh, just got some shallow cuts from the broken windshield glass. I told the paramedics I was on blood thinners and they sealed the wounds.”

“But they brought you here, to the ER?”

“Right, uh, no, they just thought I should get checked up. I just finished giving the police my statement.”

“But what happened?”

“It was crazy, this lady hit this guy two days ago. She must have hit her head pretty bad cause they found a brain bleed. Probably why she was so confused.”

“And what about the guy in the windshield?”

“In surgery, docs say he’s got a fair chance.”

Bobby nods, smiling proudly. “It’s cause you jumped in there and saved him. Probably didn’t even occur to you to worry about yourself.”

“Yeah, I know, I know, I didn’t think, just rushed in like I always do.” Buck shakes his head though a small smile works on his face, too. “I guess it’s like the uniform is my costume. You know, I put it on and suddenly I’m brave and I’m strong, I make a difference. Feels like, without it, I’m not much of anything.”

“Buck, you saved two lives without the uniform. It’s not a costume. It’s who you are.”

Buck’s smile grows bigger as he eyes Bobby questioningly. “Does this mean that you’re ready to let me back for real?”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m ready, you are. It’s time for me to get out of your way.”

Bobby smiles slyly at Buck’s grateful gaze. “Hey, Bobby. Um. . . are you hungry? Maybe I could buy you breakfast. Be nice to catch up.”

Bobby smiles as he throws an arm around Buck, bringing him close as the two walk out of the hospital together. “Yeah, it would.”

///////

“The team is back together.” Gwen smiles happily as Eddie and Buck smile adoringly at each other.

“I’m glad. Now I don’t have to worry about you going out and doing something stupid,” Gwen smiles as Buck scoffs. She then turns to Eddie, a glint in her eyes. “You taking care of my son?”

“Absolutely, ma’am.” Eddie chuckles with a shake of his head. “He can be a handful at times, though.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Edmundo.”

“I’m right here, guys.”

“We know.” Buck rolls his eyes as the two high five each other with matching smirks.

“Glad to see you get along well.”

“Just peachy. Speaking of, when is lovely Edmundo going to officially become my son?”

Buck chokes on his water, trying to play off his coughing mess coolly. He fails, epically. “Mom!”

“What? You argue like a married couple. Love and care for each like a married couple. Heck, you’re raising a child together. Why not go ahead and tie that knot?”

“Mom!”

Eddie chuckles as Buck’s cheeks turns a rosy color and he turns to smile kindly at Gwen. “Don’t you worry, ma’am. Buck and I. . . we’re a team. We’ll get to that road eventually.”

“Well, do it before I end up having to rely on wheelchair’s and canes.” Gwen pointedly looks at Buck. “I want to be able to have a proper dance with my son when he finally weds the love of his life.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“You bet your ass I do,” Gwen smiles patting both on the shoulders and narrowing her eyes slightly at Eddie’s flinch. “Now, both of you, off to work before I drive you there myself and embarrass you in proper embarrassing-mom-fashion.”

“Yes ma’am!”

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

///////

_Don’t you fucking laugh._

That’s the glare that Buck sends Eddie’s way as Buck struggles to keep himself upright on the ice. The man is clearly struggling to keep his smile at bay, and when he turns away, Buck can see his shoulders bounce lightly with laughter.

When Eddie turns back around, Buck sticks his tongue out at him. Eddie rolls his eyes in amusement. Buck goes back to searching the rink, narrowing his eyes at a fleshy digit slightly concealed by decorative snow. He kneels down, pulling back the snow to reveal the pointer and ring finger.

“Found two fingers, Cap! Still looking for the other ones.”

“Hey!” His eyes move to Eddie, who holds up another digit. “Got the pinkie!”

“Alright, three down. One to go.” It’s moments later, after Hen and Chim have physically separated Hansel and Gretel (Hansel was impaled on Gretel’s ice skate), that Buck cried out with glee, holding up the last digit. “Yes! I got the middle one!”

Eddie shakes his head at Buck’s bright smile before both turn their attention to Bobby, frowning slightly.

“Uh, hey, Cap! We found all the fingers.” Bobby still continues to shine his light across the skating rink, seemingly looking for something.

“Ah!” Cap exclaims as Eddie, Buck, Hen, and Chim approach him, holding up something tiny between his fingers. “Found it.”

“What’s that?”

“A sequin. When your blade runs across one of these, it stops your skate’s dead in their tracks.”

Buck frowns at the decoration. “Wait, one sequin did all of this?”

“A wardrobe malfunction can be the most dangerous part of figure skating.”

“So how come you know so much about figure skating?”

Bobby sighs. “My partner, Heidi Shatsky, and I were Twin Cities Junior Pair’s champions three years running.”

The four of them are stunned silent, with Buck swallowing back a laugh.

“I always thought you were a hockey player, Cap,” Eddie speaks up.

“Who says you can’t do both?” They part as Bobby makes his way past them, all still silent. Buck shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows.

“We’ll google for photos later.” Chim waves his finger at Buck in agreeance as they all nod before following behind Bobby, with Buck definitely not stumbling on the ice once more.

///////

_“I’m going to kill you.”_

“Yeah, um. . . why?” Buck asks Ty as he presses the gas pedal, continuing his drive down the street.

 _“Why—WHY!?”_ Ty mumbles incoherently as something clinks together, probably the dishes. He offers an apology to whoever is there with him before going back to Buck. _“When the fuck were you going to inform me that my ship has sailed?”_

“I. . . what?” Buck frowns, thinking hard for a moment before forming an o with his mouth. “Are you talking about me and Eds?”

_“Yes! You and freaking Eddie! How inconsiderate of you to tell mom before me! I was the one who called your relationship from the very beginning!”_

“Ty, calm down—”

_“No, don’t you ‘Ty, calm down’ me, mister! You know how much tea time talk I missed out on. Next time I come down there, I want every juicy detail, starting from the moment you got together. You hear me?”_

“Uh huh,” Buck says absentmindedly as he pulls into a parking space and cuts off the car. “Oh, look at that. I’m at work. I gotta go.”

_“Don’t you hang up on—”_

Buck chuckles quietly to himself as he hops out of the jeep, making his way to the trunk and pulling out the cardboard cutout he brought with him. He turns at the sound of a car horn, furrowing his eyebrows as Eddie climbs at a fancy new pickup truck.

“Whoo. Nice truck! Is it a rental?”

Eddie smirks at him. “Nope. All mine.”

“I didn’t know you were getting a new ride.”

“Yeah, well, AC crapped out on the old one. Again. Christopher and I were sitting in traffic, sweating in traffic. Saw this dealership, thought, why not?”

“A total impulse buy?” That seemed extremely out of character for Eddie, seeing as he was the type to be smart about his purchases. “Not like you at all.”

“Maybe it should be,” Eddie retorts as the two stroll to the firehouse together.

“Well, I’ll remind you of that next time you’re begging for extra shifts to cover the payments.” Buck says smugly, to which Eddie turns with an eye roll. He stops in his steps, glancing around before moving forward quickly to place a quick kiss to Buck’s lips. It’s long enough for Buck’s eyes to flutter close in contempt, but short to the point of leaving Buck with wanting more. “What was that for?”

“Just wanted to kiss my boyfriend.” Eddie smiles before going back to walking towards the station, furrowing his eyebrows at the wrapped up cardboard cutout in Buck’s hand. “What’s this?”

“This. . .” Buck smiles widely, bouncing his eyebrows in Eddie’s direction. “This is epic. I found Heidi Shatsky.”

*****

“Morning, folks!” Everyone turns to Bobby slyly as he approaches the kitchen. “First up, water heater went out last night, but they are sending someone to fix it. Until then, you might wanna brace yourselves when you hit the showers. We’re also changing the lunch schedule. . .”

The moment Bobby looks down at his clipboard, Eddie reaches behind Buck, pulling out the cardboard cutout of a young Robert Nash, dashing figure skating champion. At Eddie’s trumpet sounds, Bobby looks up and immediately deadpans at the sight of his younger self as Buck and Eddie jokingly dance around the sign and Chim snaps a photo of Bobby’s reaction.

“Captain Robert Nash. . .” Chimney points to the sign. “This is your life!”

Bobby breaks out into a laugh. “Oh my gosh. Where did you get that?”

“Heidi says hi,” Buck smiles. “She’s gonna email you later. She didn’t wanna ruin the surprise.”

“I think we all had a little surprise this morning,” Chim cocks his head, pointing dramatically to the cutout. “Not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t THAT HAIR!”

“Yeah, Cap, what is this look?” Eddie smiles jokingly. “Is it some kind of Travolta thing?”

“Not Travolta. Bowie.” All three look back at the cutout with furrowed eyebrows. “Ziggy Stardust?”

Chim shakes his head. “This feels a little more Siegfried and Roy.”

“Sorry I’m late, I had to take Denny to. . . school.” Hen backtracks as her eyes land on the cutout and a big smile breaks out onto her face. “What did I miss?”

Bobby shakes his head jokingly. “Okay, for everyone who isn’t fired, I will not be cooking today. We’re having a special guest chef at lunch.”

Buck frowns immediately. The severity of the situation cannot just be shouldered off like that. “No pasta Thursday?”

“Not today.”

*****

If there’s one thing Buck knows, it’s that when a table is quiet, the food is chef’s kiss fantastic. That’s exactly how the upstairs loft is now, nothing but the clink of utensils against plates as everyone digs into a well-cooked meal.

“Still think it’s ridiculous you got suspended for solving a murder,” Chim says as he picks up his glass of water. Athena chuckles slightly as he goes back to the meal in front of him. “But I might get over that if you keep bringing us food.”

“Well, the brisket is my special recipe. You just smoke it low and slow for fourteen hours. And then you turn it—”

Buck freezes as Athena turns an icy gaze onto him, her eyes flicking between his face and the saltshaker in his hand. The message is very clear: put it down. Now. Bobby even shakes his head as a warning. Buck grimaces, setting the salt back down and waving his hand as though he didn’t even need it in the first place. He catches everyone around them smirking.

“She’s been cooking at home, too,” Bobby continues. “Every meal’s been a feast.”

“Have you ever considered being suspended forever?” Eddie asks, to which Athena laughs and Bobby fixes the man with a pointed look. “Not that your cooking isn’t good, Cap.”

“Mhm,” Bobby nods, eyes squinted but a smile on his face.

Buck clears his throat. “Well, I like both your food equally.” He turns his puppy dog gaze to Athena. _Come on, Athena, just a little bit of salt. That’s all I ask._

“Oh, I’m not liking it,” Hen says as she cuts into her brisket. “I’m loving it. So when I go back for seconds, y’all better watch your fingers.”

And while everyone is chuckling at Hen, Buck takes the moment to quickly sprinkle some salt into his hand, much to the amusement of Bobby and Eddie.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“I think my husband’s having a heart attack! He’s in the car on his way to the hospital, but I think he passed out!”_

_“Are you in the car with him?”_

_“No, I’m at home!”_

_“Then who’s driving the car?”_

///////

“Okay, watch his arm.”

“Yeah, got it, Cap!” Buck looks to Eddie, both on either end of the backboard. “Three, two, one, up.”

Eddie nods to nurses who move forward with a stretcher. “Oh, here we go.”

They set him down on the stretcher before moving back to help move away the car and destroyed reception desk.

Hen and Chim move forward to help the woman who was trapped underneath the rubble, and the moment they turn with her secure on the stretcher, there’s three nurses waiting to take her back into the ER.

“What kind of dispatcher sends an RA unit to a scene at the hospital?” Eddie shrugs his shoulders questioningly before the two move to pack up their gear.

///////

“I really wish I could help her, but she’s not talking to me about it,” Chim explains in regards to Hen, who’s seemed stressed as of lately, especially concerning her and Karen’s attempts at another child. “I’m not sure she’s talking to anybody.”

“There’s definitely something going on with her.” Buck nods. “Eddie too. Hey, you guys think it’s the Santa Anas? I mean, they. . . they make people act weird, right?”

Maddie chuckles, shaking her head. “I definitely don’t think it’s the wind. Wait, you know what? Maybe it’s something personal she doesn’t feel like sharing.”

Buck shrugs his shoulders and drops it, but Chim shakes his head. “Well, historically speaking, Hen and I tell each other everything.”

Maddie seems to pause what she’s doing, cocking her head at Chim. “Wait, everything? Did you tell her about me?”

Buck frowns, glancing up at Maddie questioningly though still working on setting the table.

“No, I mean, I would have if I felt like she was listening.”

“Oh.”

“Maddie, you know she’s my best friend. I need to talk to someone.”

“I- I know. It’s just, you tell her, she tells Buck. Buck tells TK. TK tells Owen. Owen tells my mom. I mean, maybe everything doesn’t need to be shared with the 118.”

Buck frowns, now fully invested with the conversation, especially since it’s something that Maddie seemingly doesn’t want the family to find out. “No way. If we didn’t tell each other everything, what else would we do on a 24-hour shift?”

Maddie nods. “Yeah, okay?”

“Hey, you don’t have to.” Buck furrows his eyebrows even more, glancing between Chimney and Maddie with confusion and growing concern.

“It’s fine. Uh, I’m back in therapy, mandated by my boss this time.”

Buck looks back at Chim once more, remembering him questioning Buck about talking with Maddie and swallowing the urge to throttle the guy for not letting him know that his sister was going through therapy again. “Uh, did. . . did something happen at work?”

“A woman filed a complaint against me.” Buck is taken aback. What could Maddie—sweet, caring Maddie—have done to urge someone to file a complaint against her. “She said I was stalking her. I think stalking is an overstatement.”

“But. . .” Buck watches her manners, her expressions, with surprise. “It’s true?”

Chim sighs. “This woman called 9-1-1, and Maddie thought she was in trouble, so she just tried to help her.”

“Yeah, but she didn’t want my help because she thinks I’m a crazy person who invaded her privacy.” She cocks her head and brings the wine glass to her lips. “Maybe there’s a lesson in there for the two of you.”

Buck swallows back the urge to point out that his concern over Eddie is most definitely acceptable, given their relationship. He doesn’t say anything, though, due to Chim’s presence.

Chim, however, turns to Buck with interest. “So, what do you think’s going on with Eddie?”

Behind him, Maddie shakes her head.

///////

“Street fighting?” Buck frowns as Eddie nods solemnly. “I’m guessing this started those few days I was gone.”

Eddie nods once more, still quiet. “Eds, I. . . I’m sorry. This is my fault—”

“It’s not your fault, Buck. It’s mine. I should have never even got into it.”

“And you wouldn’t have felt the need to go into it if you simply had a partner that was there for you.” Buck shakes his head, pulling Eddie close and hugging him gingerly, not caring who might see the two embrace in the bunk area. “Like my mom said, we take care of each other, that’s what I should’ve been doing instead of focusing on my own problems.”

Eddie nods, pulling back and wiping at his eyes.

“From now on, we go through everything together, as a team.” Buck offers a small smile and Eddie smiles too, the two clasping their hands together.

“As a team.”

“The world can try, but it won’t tear us down.” Buck smiles wider. “We’re too stubborn to let it get to us.”

That get’s a chuckle out of Eddie as he rolls his eyes before moving to go get changed for the shift.

///////

_“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”_

_“The robots! They’re attacking!”_

///////

“Robot number three just went crazy,” the employee explains as the team approaches a mess of scattered boxes.

“What kind of robot are we talking about?”

“Uh, transport. The company has a whole army of them, and they’re used for moving heavy boxes and shelved items around the warehouse.”

Buck frowns. “And it attacked someone?”

“Yeah, my coworker, Jerome. Uh, I heard that it just beelined for him like a suicide bomber and crashed into the end of the aisle then took down a whole row of shelves.”

“Any idea what caused the robot to malfunction?”

“Normally, their movements are really precise. It’s just that, uh, number three was just gunning for Jerome.”

“Okay, you guys can clear away!” Bobby says to the employees that clear away as many boxes from Jerome as possible. “We’ll take over from here. Step back, please.”

Hen and Chim kneel before Jerome and immediately begin to work as Jerome grunts in pain.

“All I wanted was to take a leak. It’s a basic human need!”

Buck doesn’t know what the man is going on about until he gets closer to the robot, and immediately reels away from the pungent smell coming from it. “Uh, did. . . did you pee on this before it crashed?”

Eddie cocks an eyebrow down at Jerome. “Why would you do that?”

“Our supervisor won’t let us go to the bathroom. It ruins our pick-time.”

“Yeah, according to our supervisor, Shane,” the same employee from before speaks up, glaring daggers.

“Where is Shane?”

The woman doesn’t hesitate as she immediately uncrosses her arms and points at a man straying from the group, trying to hide from the eyes of the firefighters.

Shane seems to shift uncomfortably under the judgmental stares of the firefighters, especially Bobby. “Don’t go anywhere, Shane. OSHA’s gonna have a field day with you.”

“Cap, heart’s racing, blood pressure’s a little low and not a lot of blood. I’m gonna start a line.”

“It could be something severed underneath but currently compressed. Ready for either extremity.”

“Okay, Buck, you’re with me. Eddie, take this side on his arm.”

“You got it, Cap.”

“We need to lift the shelving unit at exactly the same time, so they can work on him simultaneously. On three. One, two, three.”

Jerome cries out as Buck, Eddie, and Bobby lift the shelf and Chim slides him out quickly, blood immediately spurting from a cut on his right leg and left arm. Hen and Chim work at a speed Buck hasn’t seen before, getting his wounds secured in no time and bringing him back from crashing.

As they wheel the man away, Buck lets out a whistle. “I think Hen’s feeling better.”

Eddie nods in agreement.

*****

“Just a heads up, TK knows we’re together,” Buck says, as he and Eddie begin to pack the equipment away. “So, whoever calls him first is definitely getting an earful.”

Eddie chuckles with a shake of his head. “I think what you mean to say is that you want me to call him first to take the brunt of his fury.”

Buck smiles widely. “You know me so well.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and continues to pack the engine when Chim’s voice sounds through the radio.

 _“Dispatch, this is ambulance 118, we have hit a civilian vehicle,”_ Buck and Eddie freeze, frowning immediately. _“At the intersection of West Olympic and Main. The vehicle driver is injured. Requesting assistance ASAP.”_

Eddie and Buck quickly shove the rest of the equipment into the truck as Bobby rounds the corner with urgency. “Dispatch, this is Captain 118, we’re on route to the scene at West Olympic and Main.”

_“We also need an additional RA unit to transport our passenger.”_

_“Copy that, 118.”_

“Cap,” Buck says before climbing into the engine. “Who’s driving the ambulance?”

“Hen.”

*****

“Bring the jaws of life!” Bobby calls out the moment the engine rolls to the stop. “Eddie, jump bag and extra medical gear.”

Eddie and Buck grab the gear as Bobby moves to physically drag Hen away from the car kicking and screaming. Buck gets the door pried open quickly, and Chim moves past him, checking on the woman.

“Ma’am, can you hear me?”

Buck seems to pause as he takes in the limp woman and the blood splattered all throughout the car. “Cap. . . there’s more blood in the car than in her body.”

“I know.”

“She’s unresponsive.” Chim moves, casting a glance in Buck’s direction warily before continuing. “Breathing is shallow. There’s no room in here. We have to pull her out.”

Buck’s fallen quiet, going through the movements as they easily get her out of the car, due to how limp she is. She’s on a backboard and on the ground faster than Buck can comprehend, not that he’s trying to comprehend anything at all. He moves back as Chim gets to work, and he’s aware of Eddie trying to get his attention but he’s not all there. Eddie spares him one last glance before moving to kneel next to Chim, attempting to bring her back.

When Chim has no choice but to call it, Buck is faintly aware of Hen’s cries rising above the silence ringing in his ears. That should be him, but it seems Hen’s crying for the both of them, even if she’s unaware of the true severity of the situation, seeing as she hasn’t met the victim.

Eddie and Chim have though, so they understand and watch with deep concern as Buck steps away silently only to lose his lunch the second Gwen’s bloodied body has left his sight. Eddie’s at his side in seconds and Chim’s explaining to Bobby the relation and Hen’s cries ring out loud in the area.

And yet they all seem dull to Buck. It all seems dull.

Gwen is dead.

His mom is dead.


End file.
